A Hilarious and Painful Lesson on the First Night in Thailand

This is a story about my first night in Thailand.

It was Christmas Eve in 2019, and I was in Chiang Mai.

I had booked an Airbnb online for my first trip to Thailand.

Around 9pm, I left my Airbnb and walked down to Chiang Mai’s old town.

I was making my way to a bar area I found on Google Maps.

Walking through the streets of the old town was enjoyable, and the buildings reminded me of Japan.

I got to a beer bar area around 11 p.m. and stepped into a bar called Zol.

It was really crowded that night, and all the girls were dressed up as Santa, just like some of the young Western customers.

Dutch Courage To Talk To A Group of Young Thai Girls

After a few beers, I plucked up the courage to join the crowd and introduce myself to one of the girls.

There was this absolutely stunning girl in a gold dress who caught my eye.

She looked beautiful and had a very innocent appearance.

Her dress was conservative, showing no cleavage, and it wasn’t too short.

That’s exactly what I was looking for.

However, she was surrounded by six of her girlfriends who were dancing together in a group.

They all seemed to be having a great time, but they didn’t seem interested in any of the guys around them in the bar.

Now, I should mention that I had never approached a Thai girl before.

I usually met girls through Tinder and other online apps.

Plus, I had 2 left feet dancing skills, and I was a bit shy.

I’m not a fan of big groups, so the thought of approaching a group of six or seven girls who were just having a good time and trying to start a conversation with one of them was really intimidating for me.

I couldn’t gather the courage to say hello.

Round 2: New Night Club

A bit later, after Zol had closed, and I left feeling a bit disappointed, I ended up walking into a nightclub called Spicy.

Inside, the place was totally crowded, and moving around was tough.

However, I spotted a girl standing nearby.

She wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous like the girl in the gold dress, but she was pretty and seemed nice.

I didn’t want to repeat my earlier mistake, so I went over to her and simply said hi.

She said hi back to me, and we started chatting.

I soon noticed that she was quite friendly and comfortable with a lot of flirting.

It was clear that she was used to being approached by Western guys.

She definitely wasn’t shy, that’s for sure.

As time went on, she insisted that I buy drinks for her and her friends, and I happily agreed.

I was on vacation and had plenty of spending money after all.

A bit later, the three of us left the club, and as we stepped out into the street under the streetlights, It was then that I noticed my pretty girl had more facial hair than me.

Needless to say, I was very disappointed.

However, I was pretty drunk by this point and quite tired.

I wasn’t really in the mood to search for another girl, so I decided to stick with the one I was with.

The friend then took the three of us on her scooter to get some food and more drinks, and, of course, I ended up covering the bill.

After we finished eating, the friend drove me back to my Airbnb, and I had another disappointment.

This girl decided she didn’t want to stay with me and they just drove off into the night.

Mistake After Mistake

This brings me to my next mistake, which was not realizing that the night had already gone sour, and I should have just called it a night and gone to bed.

I should also mention that I hardly ever drink, and by this point in the story, I was the most drunk I had been in years.

So, you can imagine that mistakes were about to come one after the other.

I made the decision to get a taxi and told the driver to take me to a place where I could find a girl.

The driver quickly took me to a karaoke spot on the outskirts of town, and it was pretty clear he got a nice commission for bringing a tipsy foreigner to the place.

I stumbled inside and they guided me to a room where I could pick a girl to accompany me.

They also asked if I wanted something to drink and a snack, and I said yes.

They quickly brought in a bunch of drinks and plates of food without even giving me a choice of what I wanted.

Clearly I Am Being Set Up To Be Scammed

I wasn’t really enjoying the karaoke; I just wanted to take the girl back to my place. So, after about 30 minutes, I asked for the bill.

The bill was brought to me by a man who placed it on the table and then positioned himself by the door, blocking my way.

Even in my intoxicated state, I sensed that something was wasn’t right at this point.

Sure enough, when I looked at the bill, it amounted to 20,000 baht, which was roughly 500 pounds at the time I think.

I realized I had been scammed – 20,000 baht for just a few drinks and snacks.

Now, here comes my biggest mistake.

I grabbed the bill, tore it up, and tossed it on the floor.

I then went over to the Thai man blocking the door, shoved him aside, and opened the door.

As soon as I did, about eight Thai men charged at me.

Getting Beaten Black and Blue By Thai Men

They easily pushed me to the floor, kicking and punching me.

While I was on the ground, even the girl I had been with joined in and started stomping on me.

It’s worth noting that no matter where you are in the world, when men fight, there’s an unspoken rule not to hit each other below the belt.

Women, on the other hand, seem to not have this rule.

It became pretty clear that this girl was intent on making sure I wouldn’t have any kids in the future.

Fortunately for me, Thais are generally smaller and lighter, and I’ve played rugby with guys twice their size, getting battered and bruised in the process.

So, their punches and kicks didn’t cause much harm, and I managed to dodge the girl’s stomping, keeping my sensitive areas intact.

At that moment, I made a wise decision.

I apologized and paid the bill.

The Thai men and the girl suddenly calmed down as if nothing had occurred.

I suppose they were used to getting payment through forceful means.

Coming Up To My Final Mistake

Anyway, I made my way back outside and got a taxi to get back to my Airbnb, where I committed my final mistake of the night.

I didn’t have any smaller banknotes on me, only a thousand baht note, and to nobody’s surprise , the tuk-tuk driver didn’t have any change.

I suppose I should have asked the driver to take me to a 7-11 where I could make a purchase and get change, but I was just eager for the night to be over.

So, I handed him the 1000 baht note and went to bed.

That first night in Thailand was indeed disappointing, painful, and expensive. However, I did learn a lot from it, and I hope that sharing this story will help others avoid similar experiences.