Bangkok Gem Trick and Phuket Tinder Trouble

Started boring enough. I thought I would go out for a walk have an agreeable meal and maybe find a massage with extra services. When I left my hotel I headed off in a different direction from the usual way I normally go. The normal way is generally packed with people and I was quite familiar with what was available there. Feeling like something different I headed out.

Not wanting any issues with the police I had a photocopy of my passport ID page and about 295 pounds or so in cash with me but no cards.

As I was walking there were a lot of ground floor girls of various quality peeking their heads out and calling me. None of it seemed interesting so I kept going and found myself on a huge boulevard which looked more promising.

One girl in normal clothes looked decent and spoke okay English. She kept following me. I could not shake her I was not interested. Then she followed me into a Marriott hotel where I contemplated going to the sports bar to have a meal but changed my mind because that would leave me with very little cash left for the night. So I left and finally wandered into the local McDonald’s.

The girl who had followed me sat next to me while I had my meal but without really saying a word. I decided I could not shake her and I was getting annoyed. I decided to go back to my hotel. I saw a cab I jumped in it. I tried to wave her off but she ran around and got in the other side.

We were arguing with the driver on where to go and she won. She said that she would take me to a nice place and promised I would have good fun. Fine. Whatever.

Taken to the Shanghai Spa

On the way there she kept trying to assure me that it would be well worth my while and there is no problem and I should just relax. She was getting flirty so I thought maybe it would be with her and it wouldn’t be so bad especially if it was with this girl.

We drove forever. It had to be at least 30 minutes. In the middle of a residential area I see a giant spa with a fountain and a driveway. The girl handed me over to some nice old lady and I was disappointed.

She took me inside and downstairs to another room. Shortly afterwards I was seated. She brought me in 10 girls who stood there and I was able to pick one out. I picked the first one as she was cute. She gave a pathetic handjob and then left saying she’ll be back for more.

I was left in the room for a number of minutes by myself. Looking around there was some water on the table with a lovely fruit tray and some other things and a very faded price list for the various items of beverages and nibbles including the fruit tray. The prices for this rubbish were not cheap until 2250 pounds. Perhaps that included the room as well I’m not sure. I thought ‘Thank goodness I’m not ordering any of that.’

The Confrontation

Two guys entered the room. One was quite well built with spiky hair and the other was a thinner taller guy who spoke excellent English. He was in a high gloss leather jacket and he handed me a bill for two thousand two hundred and fifty pounds. I said ‘What is this for?’ He said that this was the bill for everything I had received and once I paid it I could carry on.

I said ‘I didn’t order any of it and I don’t want to pay for it and I can’t pay even if I wanted to.’ I learned that this guy was half Japanese. He said to me that we’re both foreigners here and I should just go along with it and not make trouble. As the conversation got more tense the muscly guy looked more and more uncomfortable.

A little more about me at the time I had a bulky build but not muscle but under baggy clothes and dark lighting I could have looked less fat than I was. A childhood illness had wiped out a lot of my muscles before doctors determined what was happening but by then I’d lost about 50 percent of my muscle mass which I could never regain. The medicine required to keep my body in check made me swell up a bit especially in my face. Given that there is no way I could survive a physical confrontation I had no choice but to try and play it cool.

The Japanese guy kept saying ‘Stop being aggressive.’ It seemed like he was setting an excuse for other things to happen later.

I finally said ‘Look we’ve been discussing this for almost an hour and we’re not getting anywhere. I’m not being aggressive nor am I being angry. I was brought here by a stranger I didn’t know. I didn’t know what was in store and I think this awful place is trying to rip me off. I cannot pay you 2250 pounds and even if I could I don’t think it’s fair because none of this was explained clearly.’

I said ‘I can pay you 980 pounds but I’ll have to go back to my hotel first to get my card from the safe and then go to the bank and get the cash out.’

Escorted Back to the Hotel

They both went away to discuss this and came back. They agreed to my terms. ‘Thank goodness’ I thought. ‘I’m not going to be beaten or die tonight.’

They said that the muscly guy would come with me. I said ‘Okay fair enough.’ I went to the restroom with the muscly guy waiting inside with me. There was no escape path in the restroom and even if there was I had no idea where in the city I was.

By then an old very unattractive girl had joined us. She was annoying as hell and she spoke no English but loved the sound of her own voice.

Walking at the spa past a reception on the basement floor I saw another Westerner handing over a credit card saying ‘Okay try this one.’ I felt really bad for him.

As we reached the ground level by the stairs and outside I saw the girl tout that brought me there chatting with the guy at the podium. She saw me but was pretending she hadn’t seen me. By then I hated her guts and my eyes probably did nothing to hide this fact.

The Escape

I got into the front passenger seat of a regular taxi. My hotel was relatively new they didn’t know where it was so I told them the name of a hotel fairly close by which they did know.

A long cab ride with the old woman just trying to talk to me. I don’t even know why she came along and I wasn’t in the mood. I didn’t know if she was to be offered to me as a consolation prize or not once I had paid. I have no idea why she was there but I certainly wasn’t going to do anything with her.

We stopped at a Family Mart convenience store but not near my hotel or the one I said to go to. I was terrified again. There were five or six bodybuilder types standing around on the sidewalk in front of the shop. I literally thought to myself ‘Is this how it will end?’

The old lady went into the Family Mart and just as quickly the bodybuilders disappeared. The lady was taking forever so I got out of the cab to see what was going on. I could not see her in the shop. Then the muscle guy in the cab perked up but still didn’t really say anything.

A cab going the other direction stopped at a red light so I walked across the street and got in. Then the muscly guy got out of the original cab and was yelling at the Family Mart. She came running out.

It was a waiting game now. The cab I was in was waiting for the light to change. It did right before they both got back into their cab. My new cab driver still didn’t know my original hotel but I could see a landmark so I was able to direct him. But the other cab had caught us up. I asked him to go faster but he didn’t want to or didn’t understand.

Back at the Hotel

Anyways we ended up losing the first cab by chance and I couldn’t believe it. Maybe they diverted to the original hotel that they knew the address I’m not sure. But I knew the people back at the spa would probably get wind of this and they knew the name of my actual hotel and what I looked like.

Here is where I didn’t know what to do. I was safely back in my room. It was only around 1030 or 11 PM but I thought these people seem like they play for keeps. I was leaving the next day on a 1 o’clock flight so there was a window where I could be caught by these people or they could bribe the hotel with a picture of me from the spa that they more than likely had from their CCTV cameras.

I thought ‘I really don’t want to risk it.’ I left my hotel with my card and went to an ATM and got the 980 pounds as insurance in case they ever did catch up with me.

In the morning when I was ready to leave I thought ‘This moment is do or die.’ There were more cabs than normal and one of the cab drivers was yelling at me. Part of me could not figure out if it was because he recognized me and was working for the spa or he was simply wanting my business.

I left my bag with a concierge and met my co workers for a coffee across the street. No way was I going to tell them about my adventures from the previous night.

Finally in a taxi on the way to the airport everything seemed normal and I was able to now relax.

The Moral

The moral of this story is

1. Trust your gut. I had no interest in going with the tout in the beginning and I should have been way more aggressive even rude if I needed to be.

2. Never go with touts. You have no idea who they are tied to.

3. If you want something bad enough find it on your own.

I know I was very lucky. I didn’t lose my cool despite being accused of it constantly by the Japanese guy. I remained polite in the face of what was a total farce. I was lucky I was only out the two cab fares but then I also never paid for anything else that took place in the spa. I managed to hang on to the 980 pounds and that went home with me.

A funny thing happened after this at the airport. My flight was delayed for a few hours so I went to a restaurant in the check in area. There I saw a Western guy in a pilot shirt drinking some beers. I thought ‘Interesting he must have just landed and has a longer than anticipated wait for his hotel transportation.’

The Airport Pilot Surprise

Fast forward a few hours and I’m in a shop airside and I see him again in full pilot’s uniform. Thank goodness I wasn’t flying that airline that day (which I won’t mention here). Bearing in mind that was many many years ago I don’t think you’d see any pilots drinking alcohol these days. They’d get lynched wouldn’t they?

Story Two The Gem Scam And a Lesson in Temple Etiquette

This is quite a good warning. It’s a bit of an old scam called the Gem Scam. I think most people are aware of this now but this is something that actually happened and it will give you a good idea of what you shouldn’t do if that makes sense.

My wife and I have been enjoying going to Thailand for short trips as it is close to where we live and is usually cheap and easy especially in pre COVID times. Usually we stay in the city center and get lots of Thai massages great food I get some tailoring and we relax by the pool.

One time we had booked a newer hotel a Radisson but it wasn’t quite… it was quite a bit away from our normal area. This led to the first problem taxis. I didn’t know there was a second Radisson which was older than our hotel and they all knew that hotel. We gave them a simple map in Thai with instructions on where the hotel we were staying in was located.

One evening after dinner we got into a taxi and told him the name of our hotel. I tried to show him the paper and he waved it off not even looking at it. Sure enough he was heading to the wrong hotel. I kept trying to tell him that he was going to the wrong hotel. He just smiled and carried on.

Of course this was a cab where the meter was supposedly broken. In my limited experience of Thailand it always seemed like about 99% of the cabs in Thailand have broken meters or so they say. A few times in the past I’ve insisted they put the meter on but they just won’t do it. It’s almost as if I’m trampling on the graves of their ancestors and insulting them because I want them to not cheat me and put that damn meter on for once.

Finally we get to the wrong Radisson and the doorman opens the taxi door for us but the driver is yelling as we get out. The doorman says ‘You need to pay him.’ I said ‘I’m not paying him anything. He didn’t put the meter on and he wouldn’t listen to me and when we tried to tell him he’s going the wrong way he just kept driving.’

The Honest Hotel Doorman

We explained more to the doorman as he spoke good English and realized that the driver had cheated us. He took over and got into a heated argument with the driver. Eventually the taxi driver gave in he knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on. He drove off without a penny of my money. It gave me so much satisfaction to see him drive off.

We found out that the doorman was half American and had spent a long time in California. He arranged for the hotel Mercedes to take us to the correct hotel at no extra cost. And when we arrived in our room there was a birthday cake waiting for me. Every time Thailand disappoints me something happens that makes me smile.

The Grand Palace Disaster

The next day I thought we should do something cultural and suggested we take a water taxi to the Grand Palace. This was a big mistake. I went to reception and got directions on how to catch a boat taxi to the Grand Palace.

When we got there a guy kept telling me that I had to pay for the boat before it arrived. I don’t think he was even Thai I think he was a Filipino. I kept trying to ignore him but he was relentless. Finally an older Thai man who looked like he had lived ten lifetimes told me to follow him. As the water taxi arrived he gestured that we should pay the lady on board the boat and how much to pay. He was so nice.

We got off at the Grand Palace stop and made our way to the entrance. I was in shorts so they wouldn’t let me in. I asked what I could do. The guard at the entrance said I could buy trousers or a wrap from a local store and return and we would be permitted into the temple.

An Indian guy standing close by overheard the conversation with the guard and then started giving us the hard sell on being our local guide for the palace. In hindsight that would have been better.

We went off to find a stall of which there were many. They all seemed to sell everything except trousers or wraps. Not only that but the amount of people hassling us because of our failure was becoming overwhelming. One guy who was quite aggressive was told to clear off by the tourist police. A savior!

The Gem Shop

We arrived at the temple and were greeted by a guy named Arun. As nice as he was he genuinely seemed shocked that someone showed up for a tour. It was actually an interesting tour. The temple was now serving some sort of lunch so he helped get us some plates and we chatted at a table.

During the chat he told us that he’d lived in New York for a while and he even showed us his New York driving license. Then he told us that he could send us to a gem shop as the red stones from Thailand are very rare and we could buy lots of them and resell them back home. I said that this is not interesting to me. The admin work to buy and sell back in the U.S. when I don’t live there doesn’t make sense and it wasn’t a task I wanted to put on my nearly retired parents as my brother was fighting in Kabul at the time.

He then suggested that I buy for myself as they are rare and getting rarer the value can only go up. He said he sent us off with a wave in a cab and we arrived at the gem showroom.

First we were ushered into a nice air conditioned lounge and served cold drinks. We were then shown a 10 minute movie on how rare these red stones are with some impressive footage of heavy machinery working on the ground and everything coming to a standstill when red stones are discovered.

Next we were led into a showroom which had a very pleasant well dressed staff and what looked like a large jewelry store. We wandered around the showroom and found a few things that we liked but the prices were outrageous. Everything looked very cheap. The staff became less pleasant the more we seemed reluctant to buy any purchases.

There was an Australian couple at a counter and this guy was doing it right he had a calculator and he was working out his own discounts for the items that him and his wife were interested in. An American guy came in and made a big scene about not being interested he was quickly whisked away.

The Gem Shop Upsell

There were a few nice stones that would have made nice ornaments but because everything was so overpriced and expensive we literally had no interest in buying anything. I had found a nice pair of elephant cufflinks with purple stones they were still around three hundred dollars and they felt light to be honest they were rubbish. I liked another pair of cufflinks they were made from red stones they looked like a Japanese flag they were pretty neat looking but as light as paper clips. Those were three thousand dollars.

We decided that we had no intention of spending that much money so we bought the elephant cufflinks instead. They asked us where we would go next and we said we wanted a massage. They said that they could arrange for one for us. By then we’d realized we were being scammed and said no. After much insisting the lady backed off and arranged a van to take us back to our hotel.

I never wore the cufflinks. The whole thing left an awful taste in my mouth and it was the only time I felt like Thailand had let me down. I realized now years later it was me who let us down. We had let our guard down and trusted a guy we never knew and was hanging around a tourist area with so many touts that were absolutely relentless.

We were put off Thailand for a while but after trying Vietnam and Malaysia and even Bali we are always drawn back to Thailand. We have children now and do things that children enjoy. Luckily there isn’t too much scamming around children’s activities.

Story Three The Patpong Ping Pong Show Rip Off

As I was getting ready to be married I was back in my home country and was in a car accident with my brother. No one was hurt but it was a pretty bad crash and so I canceled my stag party that evening. My wife was very fair and because I missed out on my stag party she agreed to let me go to Thailand with my friends who were all married at the time. We also had another couple of guys who came with us who weren’t married but they were both gay but they weren’t a couple.

We had heard about the famous ping pong shows in Bangkok and decided we wanted to go and see one as none of us had seen one before. This was years ago so I can’t remember the exact location but I’m guessing it was probably one of the upstairs bars at Patpong.

We were walking past lots of bars. There were a lot of people outside trying to get us into their bars. They were all wearing different uniforms some dressed up as sexy waitresses and all sorts of other uniforms. One guy was holding up what looked like a menu with all different shows advertised. One of them said ‘Ping Pong Show Jackpot.’

We were led up some stairs to a room with a boxing ring set up in the middle of the room and some seating around the boxing ring. We ordered our drinks and then some ladies showed up and raised their glasses thanking us for their drinks. First sign of trouble as we hadn’t ordered any drinks for these ladies.

At this point in the proceedings we really didn’t know what we had signed up for. I just remember thinking at the time that they have all had drinks they’re thanking us for them but we didn’t order any drinks. Anyway let’s see how this plays out.

So the show begins. ‘Bring it on’ I thought. There was a show where a lady fired darts at balloons. There were some weird dancing shows but the ping pong shows that had been advertised on the guy’s card downstairs were not to be seen.

Inside the Patpong Show

There was an old German couple that showed up late. They seemed very disappointed that they missed a lot of the shows. I could overhear them complaining to each other I knew what they were saying in a roundabout way even though I don’t speak their language.

After a while sitting in my chair and taking it all in it was actually quite shocking to see the environment I was in not the show. For example when we first came up the stairs there was a lady bouncing a baby on her knee at the entrance of the room. Everyone watching the show seemed to be a bit out of place.

The show ended so we were ready to leave. We’d only ordered one drink each when we arrived so you can imagine our shock when the bill came to our table and was 9000 Baht. Dave who is quite a large guy started freaking out and the lady who had brought the bill over to us was clearly terrified. We’re all standing behind Dave he is the biggest out of our group. I was very surprised that the guys at the door didn’t come over to try and smooth things over.

In the end we did a deal and settled on 3000 Baht. Yes we had been ripped off but 3000 Baht was better than 9000 Baht and the bill was shared between several of us. We all laughed it off as just being an experience but Dave was really angry and he took a long time to calm down.

Later on we found a bar which had a Japanese band playing Beatles covers. That band was pretty good and I ended up seeing them again at a bar in Singapore.

The one bit of advice I would give you if you’re in Thailand and you get set up like we did just try and do a deal and walk away. It’s just not worth the hassle.

Story Four Phuket Tinder and a Hijacked Vacation

I want to start with a short backstory. I began my love of traveling to Asia about five years ago when I traveled to China on a few business trips and a few times for vacation. Before I took my first trip I learned that I would need to set up a WeChat profile to make friends there and be able to keep in touch.

On my first trip I had been recently divorced and was eager to meet some local women. I’m 40 years old now and if I might be so bold to say a decent looking guy. When I’ve approached women in my range I haven’t had too many problems dating in the U.S. I do want to be married again someday but haven’t considered meeting a wife in Asia up until this point. I just don’t have the ability to stay abroad long enough to build that level of a relationship.

During a visit to a tea shop I met a girl and we became very close. She accompanied me on every trip when I came back to her country and we are still friends. These experiences helped me a lot on my first trip to Thailand.

When back in the States I would occasionally use the ‘shake’ function on WeChat where it will connect two users that are shaking their phones at the same time. This is where I met my first friend in Thailand. Her name is Bun. She was nice to talk to and we would chat often. I later learned that she had some experience in massage parlors when she posted pictures of massage girls and invited people to come and visit her shop. She may have been like a mamasan or something who knows. She would also post some cooking pictures from her hometown where she said she owned a little restaurant.

Both her as well as a colleague of mine would often encourage me to take a trip to Thailand and I thought it would be perfect for my 40th birthday. I built my trip for February of 2022 to Phuket under the sandbox program. I asked Bun if she would like to come to Phuket show me around and go on some tourist activities with me. We planned that she would come for two nights over the weekend. She agreed and booked her own hotel room. She was supposed to travel back home for work on the third day.

The Pickpocket

On the 25th of February I arrived and walked around the town and stopped for a Nuru massage. The crazy part was after dark. I was walking around and drinking along the Beach Road on the side with the shops. An older lady came out of nowhere and grabbed my privates aggressively over my shorts with one hand while taking my wallet with the other hand. Luckily I’m fairly street smart and I knew something was wrong. As we know usually the woman will just grab your wrist and pull you in their direction.

I tried to continue walking and she let go of me. I immediately checked for my wallet and it was gone. She only had time to take a step behind me and I turned and said ‘Hey.’ I knew that making a big scene was not a good idea and I didn’t know what was about to happen. Thankfully I believe she thought I was drunk because she wouldn’t get caught but as soon as she was busted she smiled at me reached into her purse and gave me back my wallet. I smiled back at her with a look like ‘You almost got me.’ I jumped to myself thinking ‘Wow in Thailand even the pickpockets are friendly.’

Tinder and Tang

After stopping for a few drinks I went back to rest. The second day I opened Tinder and started swiping. I didn’t rule out paid companionship but I thought I’d see if I could match with someone and try a date. Very quickly I realized that there was an endless number of women on the dating site so I could date while I was in town.

I matched with a woman named Tang. She is an elementary school teacher. After chatting for a few minutes we planned to have lunch together that same day. We had a nice time in a beach restaurant. She asked me if I was looking for a wife in Thailand and I said no just something casual. I wanted to be honest.

After the day I was unsure on the customs so I went with my experience in China. The local girls appreciated when I wasn’t aggressive on a first date just be friendly be honest and have a good time. Then the second day everything was on the table. Most girls just want to know you’re respectful and they can feel safe.

After my date with Tang I said I wanted to see her again and she wanted to see me as well. She said she had to tutor some students online and has her computer with her if she can come to my hotel she would work for a while and we could go out again in the evening. I can’t remember if we ate dinner but I guess we did. I remember we went to an Australian bar and played pool and drank. We then went dancing and had a lot more drinks before some aerobics and she spent the night.

The Hijacking

I expected Bun the next evening and I felt like I could sleep in and tell Tang goodbye properly. Things rarely go to plan. Before I got my coffee Bun text me around 30 minutes earlier and said she was on the bus and wanted to know where I was. I looked back at Tang and thought to myself ‘This might not end well.’

I asked Bun ‘What bus? Are you going to the airport?’ She said ‘To the hotel.’ The airport to Patong is about an hour that’s when I began to panic. She would arrive in about 30 minutes. I told Bun that I wasn’t in my room and I was getting breakfast and going shopping a rare lie on my part but I was desperate.

Thankfully she wasn’t planning to come to my room she was heading to her hotel which was about five minutes from mine. Since I was up and making coffee Tang woke up and I told her I needed to go shopping. She was cool got ready to go. This would be the second time luck saved my trip.

I was able to shower and meet Bun later that day. I was planning to only spend two days with her and then I could go off on my own another plan that didn’t work out. Bun decided to close her restaurant and planned to stay five days and offered to stay longer if I wanted. I was a little upset but Thailand had been great to me so far so I put on a smile and tried to enjoy the moment.

Since we had met in person for the first time and we were getting along well I asked her if she would like to cancel her room and stay in my room. She asked ‘What do you want?’ I told her ‘Nothing serious I’m not here to find a wife.’ She agreed and moved into my room.

We spent the next few days having fun on some excursions and daily aerobics. Even though she basically hijacked most of my vacation I had a lot of that girlfriend experience we all love and I had a great time.

The Last Day

The morning before my last day in Thailand Bun went home and I was able to try and meet someone new. I began to swipe and match with a local girl named Ann she works as a flight attendant. We planned to meet for lunch. The funny thing was she recommended the same beach restaurant as Tang so I suggested somewhere else. She was the most beautiful woman I’d gone out with so far but unfortunately she already had plans that night and was disappointed that I was leaving in the morning. She was cool and we’re still friends.

Later that day I matched with another girl and talked about meeting later that evening. After dinner I thought I would wait in a go go bar while I made plans. I don’t remember her name. Some guy that worked there came up to me and said ‘No phone.’ I said ‘I’m texting my friend’ and he said ‘No phone again.’ I left that place. The bar next door invited me in and I asked them ‘Can I text?’ They said yes but no photos.

I was unprepared for the mamasan. She was working me hard for a sale and asking what I like. All I said was ‘petite.’ She introduced me to a girl that she recommended and said she’d only just started a few days before and only had one or two customers. I don’t remember exactly what it was I didn’t believe her but later I was thinking that she did seem kind of new.

I paid the bar fine and we left. We went dancing for a while and the whole time this girl was doing tequila shots. She also asked if I had paid the bar fine paying the mamasan which I said I had. She was texting the mamasan and trying to negotiate with me using very few words. She only asked like two times lower than the price and on the second time I kindly refused. The mamasan ended up showing up anyway I guess she was there for moral support and the free drinks. It might also be the fact that I overpaid for the first girl I’m embarrassed to say but it was 500 US dollars. I should have negotiated but it was my last day and I still had travel money to spend.

The new girl spoke very little English and we just drank and danced. The mamasan gave me some encouragement and left after some time. After the mamasan left we went to my place for the night. Another sign she might have been new was she couldn’t hold her drink she threw up several times in the bathroom. I was a good guy I held her hair out of the way and got her some water. She just kept saying ‘You take care me I take care you’ in the cutest voice. We went to sleep after some aerobics.

All in all I had a good time and I left in the morning. I can’t wait to go back and I’ve already booked my next trip.