Falling for a Thai Freelancer and Losing Everything

This is the first time I’m telling my story involving a Thai freelancer.

I think the reason I have not shared it before is due to embarrassment and humiliation.

I know I will probably get ripped to pieces in the comments, but I do not want some young guy to travel to Thailand and do what I did, so I thought it is time to put pen to paper and get my story out there.

A Recent Story And A Painful Warning

It’s fairly recent, and I’m still not completely over it, so everything is fresh in my mind, and the scars haven’t healed yet.

I won’t go into every little detail about my time in Thailand with this freelancer as it will be hours long, so instead I’ll try to stick to the important part of my story and also include a little bit about myself.

I was born in the UK but I am an Asian man with both parents being Asian, and I’m 42 years old.

Back in my early twenties, I visited Pattaya a couple of times and really enjoyed it, but viewed it as a bit of fun, as it should be viewed.

I met a few girls there, had my fun, and then went home, keeping in contact with none of them.

Early Trips To Pattaya

I think that is how it should be when you visit Pattaya, easier said than done, as I found out later.

There were a couple of bargirls I got attached to during my trips to Pattaya, but keeping in contact back then wasn’t as easy as it is now, so nothing came of it.

Fast forward 20 years.

Throughout this time, I had a few relationships with women from the UK but nothing really serious came from it, UK women are just not my type I guess.

Eventually all my relationships just came to an end, some fast and some slow, but I’d find myself single again.

Returning To Thailand After Five Years

I had not been back to Thailand for about 5 years since my last time. Then last year I decided to go to Bangkok.

I was doing the typical tourist stuff for single men like myself, going to the bars, checking out Nana Plaza and going with freelancers.

This was only a short two-week trip, so I just wanted to have as much fun as possible while I’m there, as I did not know when I would be back again.

I ended up meeting a beautiful and what I thought wonderful freelancer, we will call her Jen but that is not her real name.

She looked like a model, and totally different from the other freelancers I had been with.

Meeting Jen In Bangkok

With all the other girls, I was happy to say goodbye to them in the morning and never see them again, but with Jen, the feeling was different.

I think it goes without saying that I did not plan on falling for a freelancer, I don’t think anyone goes to Thailand with the aim of falling in love with that type of girl.

But I was just so taken aback by her and amazed with how well we got along, we had a lot in common and just clicked right away.

I met her only the second week I was there, and from the first night I took her, we pretty much stayed together until it was time for me to leave.

I would pay her 5,000 a day, and she would stay with me all day, going out shopping, on dinner dates, to temples and bars, and then back to my place.

Falling For Jen

The only time she left me really was so she could go home and get changed, freshen up and then she would be right back.

I knew I was in trouble catching feelings for this girl, and thought to myself it will be fine when I’m back in the UK I can just forget about her.

Oh how wrong I was, it’s weird how your heart can play tricks on you when you least expect it.

When I got back to the UK I just could not forget about her and the time we had spent together, no girl has ever made me feel like that.

I don’t know if it’s because of all the failed relationships I’ve had in the past or what, but she made me feel special and loved.

Returning To Bangkok For Jen

I was totally falling for her and I was that smitten by her that after just 1 month back in the UK after meeting her, I booked a week off work and flew back to Bangkok to see her again.

This time it was even better than the first week we met.

She brought her clothes to my hotel and stayed with me every day, she did not work and we just spent the whole week together.

Yes I had to give her some money for staying with me, but it wasn’t a huge amount and a lot less than if I was just some random customer.

So after another perfect week with her, all I could think about when I got back in the UK was seeing her again.

Staying Connected With Jen

I kept in touch with her through the LINE app, where I got to learn a lot more about her and her background.

We would text for hours every day. It felt like things were getting serious and felt like we were in a relationship, even though nothing was official yet.

I learnt that she had a nine-year-old son who lived with her mother and father, and most of her monthly outgoing payments would go towards supporting them.

We talked about the future and a future together, she seemed really interested in being with me and I wanted to be with her also.

We agreed that February of this year I would leave my job and go to Thailand for 3 months to be with her and see how things work out between us.

Planning Three Months Together

We came to the conclusion that if the 3 months went well and we got along, then we should aim to be together in the future.

This was great for me, as a relationship with her is what I wanted at the time, I’m not ashamed to say that at that point, I was in love with a freelancer.

So February came and I packed my job in, at the end of February I was back in Bangkok starting our 3 months together.

I did not have a huge amount of money, but I had enough to get by and help her out a little bit.

Over the first couple of weeks together we spoke about the future and what we both wanted.

Building A Future With Jen

It seemed we were both on the same page and both wanted a relationship together now and in the future.

The plan for our future was to see how these 3 months went. If it went well, then I would return again to Thailand to take the next step.

We spoke about marriage but that is something I wanted to do well into the future, maybe 2 years after being in a relationship.

She also showed interest in moving to the UK with me if we got serious in our relationship.

Although I’d rather stay in Thailand with her, I think the UK would be our easiest option as she speaks the language and would be easier for her to find work, a normal job.

Visiting Cambodia And Her Village

During our 3 months together we did a lot, and I even took her on a small break to Cambodia for a few days. It was so nice being with her.

Cambodia is a nice place, but it has nothing on Thailand. Spending just a few days there was enough for me.

We spent time in her family village, I got to know her family well and they all seemed to like me.

Once we first arrived at her home, they must have known we were coming because the place was filled with her family, even the soi dogs were there.

She had a massive family, they all showed an interest in me and were very friendly even though only a few of them could speak basic English.

Meeting Her Family In Rural Thailand

I did not really like one of her brothers though, we had only been there about an hour until he asked my girl to ask me if I would loan him money.

Something to do with his car that he needed repairing so he could work, or something along those lines.

I made the excuse that I did not have cash on me then, but I would transfer it to him once I got back to England.

Just to be clear, I had no intention of borrowing money from him or any of the family. I knew I wouldn’t see it again if I did lend it to them.

She also had a sister that was also married to a farang, she was smoking hot.

Seeing Village Life

She lived in the village still and worked there. She had never been into the nightlife work and claimed to have met her husband online a few years back.

The family invited us to stay at their home. It was tough, no air conditioning and there were about seven of us in one room, but nevertheless, it was a good experience to see how the other half live.

They really did not have much money, and judging by the house that they all live in, they were barely scraping by. Makes you feel lucky in a way.

I really liked her parents too, they cooked for us, we never went hungry and they would do my laundry and stuff like that, just genuinely nice people.

Her family and relatives, they were all very nice but seemed very pushy for us to get married, it just felt strange.

Family Pressure To Marry

Yes, I loved her very much, but I wasn’t so sure on getting married just yet.

Plus, even if I did want to get married, I wouldn’t be able to afford everything that comes with it.

I was expected to pay around 30,000 pounds for a new house to be built in her village so her parents can live there, and help pay the bills for the next 2 years.

Yes, all of this had come up in conversation on the second day that we were there at her family home.

I had heard about Thai girlfriends’ parents wanting money from their daughters’ farang partners, but I did not expect them to bring it up so early.

The Cost Of Marriage In Thailand

Basically, if I were to get married, I would be supporting her, her son and her parents. That is something I did not want to do, nor could I afford it.

They were asking way too much from me, everything was already too much money before the price of a sin sod had even been mentioned. God knows how much they would have wanted for that.

Apparently she had a couple of brothers. One of them had a high-position job within the government. When asked why he didn’t help with money for her parents and everything else, she replied that he had a big family and needed to support them first.

She had an answer for everything when I would question her about money and why she needed so much from me.

My freelancer seemed to have a lot of debt she had to pay and had more monthly bills than I could count.

Jen Tells Me About Her Debts

She also claimed that she was scammed out of 500,000 Thai baht by a good friend when she went to invest in something but her friend took off with the money.

True story? I’m not sure, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but some of the stories she told me were just unbelievable at best.

I asked her why not cut down on her spending, maybe sell her car as she does not use that much, but my suggestions fell on deaf ears.

I even suggested to her about getting a job with her brother in the government. She claimed she makes more money doing freelancing than any job in Thailand, which I guess she is right.

When we spoke about her doing her job, she told me that she hated it and wished she could stop but she had too many things to pay every month.

Jen Keeps Working As A Freelancer

That may well have been true, and she has a lot of customers so I know if she stopped doing it she would lose a big chunk of change, but she would spend money as if it was going out of fashion.

For example, during the time I spent with her, she would buy a £200 dress, designer makeup, and would even spend hundreds of pounds on family and friends’ birthday presents.

She always looked very hi-so, always looked very beautiful in designer gear, with a face full of makeup. She looked like a celebrity most of the time.

I think she wanted people to see her as rich when in reality, she was just scraping by with her expensive spending habits.

Her habits are something I could not keep up with.

The Cost Of Supporting Jen

Of course I spoiled her and paid for what I could, but I just couldn’t keep up at the rate she was going, if I did I would be flat broke by the time my trip would be over.

For someone that hated doing freelancing she sure did love spending that money, and spending it fast, I haven’t known her to save any money, just doesn’t make sense.

Now back to my lady, the thing that broke my heart the most was that I did not have enough money to support her so she could stop freelancing.

I knew deep down inside that she did not want to do this type of work, but with how much she told me she made from doing it, it’s hard not to do it.

It really was heartbreaking because that is what I wanted the most, her to stop doing that type of work so we could build a relationship together.

Trying To Build A Relationship

I knew that it would be difficult, well pretty damn near impossible to have a relationship with someone that is still doing that work.

Believe me, if I could have afforded it, I would have allowed her to stop working.

While I was there with her, she would still have to work and it was both hard and painful.

She did tell me before I came over that she would still have to work sometimes because she needed money, so I couldn’t be angry at her for it.

I actually thought I could handle it, as it was only going to be for 3 months while we plan our future, but damn it was hard.

Living Around Her Customers

Sometimes I would be with her all day, and sometimes I would only see her in the morning, depending on how many customers she had that day.

And trust me, it wasn’t easy. Sometimes she would go out at 11 am and come back to the hotel at 4 am the next morning. It was brutal.

Somebody I cared about so much and was head over heels in love with, I would hear her talking to her many, many customers on the phone or texting them and making appointments with them.

Still, I was not prepared to take the leap and marry her just for the sake of it. And I could not ask her to stop freelancing because now I did not have a job and the savings I did have would not cover what she and her family are asking.

If her family was not demanding a stupid amount of money monthly and it was just me and Jen that I had to support, then maybe I would have taken the chance and gotten married to her because I was crazy about her.

Preparing To Leave Thailand For Home

The three months were coming to an end. I was running low on finances and getting a little bit homesick. For the first time, I was looking forward to heading back to the UK.

I mean, I did not miss the UK and I did not want to leave Thailand, but the relationship, finances and money demands to move forward became pretty draining for me.

I just wanted to go back to the UK so I could recharge, sort everything out and then plan the next steps.

At that point, I still knew I wanted to be with her, I just did not know how I was going to make it work.

One night, about a week before I was to leave Thailand, she got a text from a previous customer in another country.

A Customer From Europe

I can’t remember now where the customer was from, but it was somewhere in Europe, like Germany or something.

The text basically said something along the lines of “I love you, I will look after you and your family with money, I just got back to Bangkok and want to see you”

He also stated that he was going to give her 300,000 baht to prove that he was serious about being with her and supporting her.

A guy who can give that amount of money away like it’s nothing is a guy I really can’t compete with.

She told me that this customer was a guy that she had only met twice for a paid dinner girlfriend experience, and that they never went back to his hotel.

Jen Explains The Customer

I found the bit about not going back to his hotel very hard to believe but I had to take her word for it.

She said they met on Facebook dating a year prior but nothing ever came from the dates and he knew she was a working girl.

She showed me his Facebook. He was not an old man searching for a young Thai girl. He was in his 20s, and Jen was 30.

I knew I was in trouble when I saw pictures of the guy, I could see that he was well off and had a bit of money behind him.

Not sure why a young guy would be trying to get an older freelancer, but I guess we all have our own desires.

Jen Leaves To Meet Him

She then told me she had to go and meet him because it was a lot of money, she said she would be busy for a few days with him and other customers so I won’t see her.

She had been seeing customers the whole time that I was there, so I understand she would have to go and meet him, but I did not have long left in Thailand.

This was literally like a week before I was meant to leave, rather than her wanting to spend my final days here together, she would rather be out making money from customers.

So for the next and last week that I would be in Thailand, I spent the days alone, eating alone, exploring alone and just thinking what I’m going to do.

The next part is even more painful.

Five Days Without Contact

After she left to meet him, I did not hear from her for 5 days, I would send text messages and call her but I would never get a reply.

I was going out of my mind, not knowing what to do or who to contact to see if I could find her.

I’m not a tech-savvy person and I don’t use Facebook, but as she had shown me her customer’s Facebook, I decided to create an account to try and message him and ask about Jen, but I couldn’t remember his name.

So I searched for Jen’s name instead, we weren’t friends on Facebook because she knew I did not have an account.

Once I searched her name and found her on Facebook, I saw her.

Her Family Meets The Other Man

The girl that I had just spent the last 3 months with, the girl I left my job and travelled halfway around the world to be with, the girl whose parents wanted me to marry her, was plastered all over her profile with photos of her and the other customer together.

Selfies of them kissing, with captions about how happy they are and how much in love they are with each other.

A picture of them out on a date in what looks like a very fancy and expensive restaurant.

They had even gone to her family home where she had posted pictures of him with her family.

The family had just met me and were pushing me to marry their daughter, now they are meeting another guy? I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I felt sick to my stomach.

Jen Chooses Him Quickly

She can’t have just met this guy, they must have known each other for a long time, surely they can’t be in love with each other so fast.

She said that she loved me. I just kept thinking to myself, how could she do this to me? Better yet, how could I allow her to do this to me?

I had genuine feelings for her, and she knew this. I for some reason thought she was being truthful about having genuine feelings for me too.

I messaged her multiple times via Facebook, and about 1 day and 30 messages later, she finally replied with a simple “Sorry but I am with this man now, he can support me, I need to think about my future”

She wanted to be with this man after just meeting him, she knew nothing about him and according to her had only seen him twice for dinner dates.

Suspecting He Was Already There

I now have a feeling he had always been in the picture and not just some customer she had previously met for short dates.

She had probably been stringing him along too and trying to rinse him the same way she did to me.

Before him, when I was important to her, she had all the time in the world to see me, but now he had come along and she did not even want to see me before I left.

She told me that she wouldn’t have time to see me before I went back home, she just wished me a safe flight as if I was nothing to her.

I had to practically beg her to see me just for a short time before I headed back to the UK.

Breaking Down In Front Of Jen

When we finally met, I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t hold back the tears and the hurt, I just broke down in my room right in front of her. I really did love her.

She felt the same, she started to cry and it was a very emotional moment.

She repeatedly told me she was sorry and that she didn’t mean to hurt me.

She said her feelings for me were genuine and that she loved me, but because he could support her, she had to think about her future, her son and her parents.

Which I kind of understand, she has a lot to think about and money solves a lot of her problems, but did she have to go that low and hurt me like that?

Leaving Thailand Heartbroken

She could have told me from the start what she was looking for and that if a guy came along with a lot of money then she would have to be with him.

At least then I could have anticipated that happening and it wouldn’t have been so hard.

But I should have known that could happen anyway, I don’t know why I thought she would stay with me if someone who could support her came along.

If it wasn’t for Facebook, would she have even told me she had met someone else and wanted to be with him? Or would she have strung me along trying to get as much as she could out of me before finally binning me off?

I left and went back to the UK, the flight was horrible, I felt physically drained and tired, very sad and angry with her and myself.

The Journey Home

It was the worst and longest plane journey I have been on. I did not get any sleep and just stared out the window, trying to think about what I was going to do next.

I was going back to gloomy UK, no job, no girlfriend and very little money remaining in my bank.

Once I got home, I had no messages or calls from her, even though for some reason I was hoping she would have contacted me, I kind of expected that she wouldn’t.

A couple of days went by and I just couldn’t stop thinking about her, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I gave in and sent her a message on Facebook.

I tried to explain all my feelings to her, hoping she would understand how hurt I am and how what she did to me was wrong.

Asking Jen For An Explanation

I don’t really know what I was expecting by telling her all this, I guess I was looking for an explanation or something.

Maybe if she explained herself, gave me a genuine sorry and actually felt bad for how she treated me, I would have an easier time moving on? I don’t know.

I have spoken to her a couple of times online. I don’t know why. It’s probably because I still have feelings for her even after what she put me through.

Though the last time we spoke, I told her that it would be the last time I messaged her. I am done now.

All her problems will be solved by this new man, the future we had planned together was just a fantasy and she had no intention of following through with it.

The Rich Man Solves Her Problems

He can support the family, build the new house, help her with her debt and take care of her son. I hope they will be happy.

What I really can’t believe and what I think hurts me the most is she chose someone else over me just because he had deeper pockets. It’s such a horrible feeling.

We had spoken about our future together, moving away, getting normal jobs, starting a new life and everything else.

Maybe I’m a hypocrite but we all know money can’t buy real love, and eventually their relationship will probably come to an end, only time will tell.

Although saying that, that’s exactly what I was doing, I was supporting her with what little money I had, and in return, she stayed with me.

Wondering If Money Kept Her

If I was not supporting her, would she have stayed with me? Probably not.

The last picture I saw of her was on Facebook, a picture of her hand with an engagement ring on it.

So it seems like they are currently happy together and taking the next step in their relationship, even though they have not been together long.

Ah well, I guess I can’t blame her for choosing a rich man over me, but I can blame myself for being so stupid and falling in love with a freelancer.

At the end of the day, it’s her job, it’s in her blood.

The Warning I Should Have Followed

There are many warnings to not fall for a freelancer or bar girl in Thailand, and I never thought it would happen to me, but unfortunately it did.

The way we originally connected, I really fell for her and I thought she was the one for me, I don’t know why, but I thought even though she was a freelancer things would work out.

I guess it was just wishful thinking on my side, I knew all along that I would not be able to support her money requests if she left her work, but I still went along with the relationship.

I obviously have to be a man and blame myself partly as well.

That’s my story, have a laugh by all means but please don’t do the same as I did. Leave that heart at the airport and pick it up on your way home.