Thai Girlfriend Wanted Me To Pay Big Sin Sod

You really couldn’t make this up. I was on the trip of a lifetime hiking around Nepal. I wasn’t doing any of the mountaineering because I wasn’t that brave, but it was something I’d wanted to do for many, many years. It was my first solo trip. I was over 45. I think I’d put it off for so long because I followed the path that most people followed. Getting married, having a family, getting divorced and losing the family, but finally believing it was time for me to enjoy myself.

My eldest child had just finished school and entered the workforce, and I didn’t have any commitments or reasons to be working the job I was working anymore. I thought I’d take myself to Nepal for a month and start hiking around the trails that I’d always wanted to do. Maybe get up to a few thousand meters, hiking through the snow, looking at the sorts of things that were difficult but not too difficult.

When I got there, it was probably one of the moments in my life when a sense of calm came over me. I just remember feeling like all my troubles and problems and disappointments in life didn’t matter anymore. They’d vanished. They disappeared, and they weren’t part of me.

I started my walk having what can only be described as one of the best times I’d ever had. The first week was pretty much uneventful, apart from being very eventful in terms of how fantastic a time I was having.

I was staying at little lodges along the way. I had a huge backpack on and a change of boots. It was difficult to use them because of how wet they were, but there was a shared bathroom in some of the places I was staying in, which was something that I’d never experienced before, but uneventful in the sense of nothing life-changing happening.

I was doing the Annapurna Circuit. No guide was needed at the time, which was quite fortuitous as this changed a few months after I did it. You go from tea house to tea house, and it gets you up into the snow at the higher passes.

At the start of the second week, I continued along. It must have been my eighth or ninth day pretty much solo, bumping into people along the way. I was absolutely worn out when I arrived at my first rest stop that day, and I’d seen some incredible sights along the way as well.

I was starting to envisage a different life for myself completely, going back home and maybe doing something for a change as opposed to not doing anything at all. It was really exciting to think about being able to do that.

Meeting an Australian Traveller and His Thai Wife

When I arrived at my accommodation, this was nestled at the foot of quite a large mountain, very remote. They had a couple of other structures around, but it was extremely remote.

I was shown to my room, again, extremely basic, but I think that added to the fun even more. I took a rest on the bed before going downstairs to have something to eat, and I overheard some shouting. I hadn’t heard that before. It sounded like quite a big argument. I pricked up my ears, as you do, always nosy, wondering what’s going on. And I couldn’t really tell what was being said. I just thought, I hope they’re okay soon.

I went downstairs an hour later. I must have nodded off because I was so tired. I woke up, went downstairs, and aside from the owner of this place, there were a few travelers from the States, a guy and a girl, I think, in their mid-30s. And there was a guy from Australia with a girl that appeared to be, I guessed, local. I guess you were there finding yourselves going out on different walks and arriving at the same location and you start talking to these people who you meet.

As soon as the Australian guy opened his mouth, I knew that he must have been the one shouting, saying that he’s just here and he’s brought his Thai girlfriend with him, or his wife, he said, from Thailand, and of course that’s where they lived. I didn’t really think anything about that.

That evening, I was getting really well into the talking. The American couple were extremely adventurous, telling tales of things that they’d got up to ever since they’d arrived and the things they’d done in the past. They left and went upstairs, and I’m chatting to this Australian guy, and his wife went upstairs.

He said he’d been to Nepal a few times before. He was in his 50s, and he looked very fit and athletic. He’d done one of the smaller mountains in the past and it was a case of his wife listening to stories about him and wanting to go too. That’s what he said. She likes to see something online, apparently, and for her taking a picture of it was much more important than actually doing it. And according to him, she wanted to take pictures of herself somewhere like this, not necessarily understanding how difficult the walk was going to be.

He was saying, “Sorry if you heard me earlier.” It was difficult. And apparently she was complaining about not wanting to walk, but she liked to take pictures.

We’re in early 2023 at this point, which isn’t that long ago. I mean, it feels like yesterday to me. I found it quite amusing what he was saying, the stories that he shared about Thailand. He’d been living there for a long time. He’d retired there at a young age, and he’d managed to, from what he said, invest in property when he was young enough that he could afford it, and the prices went through the roof. He owns two houses and that’s enough money for him to live the life he’s living. Pretty big houses they must have been.

I felt envious in a way. Also, it’s amazing how people live though, telling me his life in Thailand and how great he had it. It made me think that perhaps I should go and have a holiday there for my next holiday. Very different to what I was doing at that moment, the trekking around Nepal, but it sounded like it could be something quite fun, and I started to think, why not?

I spoke to him for a few more hours, well into the dead of night, and he said where he was walking the following day, and that was pretty much in the same direction as me. I asked if he wanted me to tag along so we could go together. It sounded good to me, and it’s amazing when you meet someone and you connect with them and become friends. I asked what time he was probably going to wake up. And again, that sounded about right for me.

Walking Through Nepal With a Thai Couple

The following morning, I met him downstairs with his wife, who was really bundled up in a big thick coat. She seemed to be quite happy, but really vacant at the same time. She wasn’t really there. She didn’t want to be there, it seemed, but happy nonetheless. I said hi; she knew I was going to be walking with them. She had her phone, which she was using for the camera, ready and raring to go, fully charged. You could tell she was already snapping pictures outside the lodge, mainly of her and the scenery. Never really of her husband. Not once did I see her take a picture of her husband. I mean, it was a great view and an amazing view. And she looked happy to be taking those pictures of herself.

Then we set off and 20 minutes later she’s moaning and she’s umming and ahhing. Why are we going up a steep hill? Why can’t we go somewhere else? That was the only way. I didn’t care though. I found it amusing. Her husband seemed to find it quite funny, too.

We just seemed to be locked in conversation about life and places we’d been, but my stories were so much tamer than his. Where had I been? Not really anywhere exciting. He seemed to have been all over the world ever since he’d retired, and he seemed to be living life. He seemed to understand what life was all about.

We were going for a couple of hours, and we arrived at a place that was a rest stop. You would class it as an extremely tiny village catering to this type of trade. Very expensive food because of how difficult it was to transport the food to those places. We sat down and had a couple of hot drinks and at this point his wife had taken so many pictures, but as soon as she put the camera away, her demeanor changed incredibly.

I could tell he was getting a bit annoyed because this had been going on ever since they’d arrived apparently. He just said to her, “Pull yourself together.” They only had a couple of days left of their trip and they were going to get to this town and head back to Kathmandu before flying to Thailand. I was continuing on.

She did pull herself together. We started walking again, but she’s complaining about every single minute they were walking and it looked like it was not going to be good for them. We’d been running into people occasionally all the way. It was very picturesque. We got everywhere at the right time.

One thing happens though because she’s complaining. He storms off and I couldn’t really follow him. I was tired too and I started talking to her. The first thing she said was, “He never liked me.” That was the first thing she said when I said, “Are you okay?” He never liked me. What are you talking about? It sounded like a very strange thing to say to a stranger that you’d met on a walk. He never liked me. I’d never found out how long they’d been married yet. That hadn’t even come up. She just said they got married 3 months ago, apparently, and he met her 6 months ago. I found that strange. Why was she offering up this information? I felt it was none of my business. But again, he never liked me. He bring me here. I don’t want to come.

I felt like she was probably lying then because it was obvious that she seemed to want to be there because of the pictures that she was taking. She wasn’t able to post them because they didn’t have internet at the time. Apparently, according to him, she’d get back to wherever had internet and she’d post the pictures, and that would be validation that she’d been and done it, as opposed to the fact that all she was interested in was the picture, and she probably wouldn’t have even bothered going if she couldn’t have taken them. I never knew about the Thai mentality at that moment in time. I suppose it’s the mentality of many people in the modern world. They won’t do something unless they can take a picture of it and post it online to make other people jealous.

But again, he never liked me. I don’t know why I marry him. I don’t know anything. I don’t know what to do. He’s always shouting and he’s always angry. And I understood why he was angry because she was always complaining. But perhaps she was complaining because of this. I felt it was not really any of my business. But when you’re in a position like that, you’re on top of the world quite literally and you’re having a fantastic time. And given the fact that I felt on top of the world and I was really enjoying myself, I felt maybe emboldened to talk to her and ask her exactly what the problem was.

Her Family Money Expectations in Nepal

“When I met him, he promised to send money to my family,” she said. I didn’t know what she was talking about. I didn’t know anything to do with family problems in Thailand because I’d never been. He promised to take care of me and my family, but he doesn’t want to take care of my family. She said, “We give money to my family instead of coming here.” That’s what I wanted to do, but that didn’t happen. He wanted to come here instead.

I found that an incredibly strange thing to say. Suppose I knew that she was younger than him, quite a lot younger than him, but I didn’t really want to pry. He did seem to be in his early 50s. “I thought he was going to take care of me,” she said again. “I’m only 24,” she said, “And I have a baby, but he not take care.”

And again, you couldn’t make this up. I just couldn’t believe what I’m hearing. And again, I’m going with it because why not? It’s hearing something different, a different way of life, an entirely different way of life than anything I’d done before. Why wouldn’t I go with it?

It was exciting. It was fun to be in that position. So much different to the years I’d spent at home. Waking up in the morning at about 7:30 a.m. Getting up, going and having a quick shower, brushing my teeth, going downstairs, having some breakfast, having a coffee, opening the door of the house, walking outside, getting into the car, driving for half an hour to get to work, parking in the same car park spot, going up, sitting at the same desk, working for 4 hours, having lunch, working for 4 hours, getting back in the car, driving home, going home, helping my children with the homework, shouting with my wife about whatever problem she’s decided to envisage at that moment, going to sleep, and repeat five days in a row. At the weekend, doing everything she wanted to do. I’d lived that for such a long time.

When you find yourself in this very unique and different position, you just go with it. But she’s saying these things and I’m thinking I have no idea why, but okay.

And we catch up to him a bit later. He’d waited for us and asked me, “Is everything good?” I said, “Yes,” and we continue and end up staying at the same lodge that evening. They’re still chatting together and then they start having another quarrel. He said, “I’m going to go out for a walk. I can’t be bothered with this.” It was clear that it probably wasn’t going to last, the relationship that they seemed to have.

I spoke to him the following day. He said, “I’m probably going to not stay with her anymore.” “Well, you married her.” Then he mentioned something about he only wanted to do a bit of a party in the village. It wasn’t really a proper marriage or something like that. I didn’t know what he was talking about. I had no idea, and it wasn’t any of my business, but he didn’t have anyone else to talk to, and I was the person to talk to.

Understanding Her Work in a Pattaya Bar

He stormed out the following evening, went off for a walk, and then she starts talking to me more, saying where she met him, and she used to work in a bar. I used to work in a bar in my younger days, too. I’d worked behind the bar. I poured drinks and served drinks. Nothing wrong with that.

I didn’t know what a bar was in Thailand because why would I? But she said he met me in a bar and he paid for me to go out of the bar. I didn’t know what she was talking about, but okay, whatever you want to say. She said that he said he would support her. But I think he not do now properly. I found out he do the same to many girl before he meet me. He’d go up to say that he will marry, he has enough money not to care, and she didn’t know what to do.

She was like confiding in me and I was thinking, why are you confiding in me? I didn’t care again because it was just fun and interesting. She said, “I don’t know what to do because if I not stay with him now, maybe I have to go and work again and I don’t want to do that.” Again, I think it was that moment I asked her, “What do you mean by a bar?” She said, “Oh, that many lady that go from place like my village working maybe in Pattaya lady work there and man can meet them and take them out of the bar.” I think I cottoned on to what she was talking about and basically that’s how she was working.

Dear me, she said she’d been doing it for 4 years and she was tired of it. I don’t know why she was telling me this. Perhaps she was trying to tell me that I was the sort of person that maybe could be there for her. I don’t know. Maybe she was trying to tell me that she liked me because apparently or what I assumed was it must have happened hundreds of times before. So what’s one more? But I didn’t really pick up on that. Although it did appear looking back that that’s what she was trying to insinuate, maybe thinking about leaving him and trying to get some money.

I didn’t pick up on the fact that perhaps she was interested in me in a way that I had no idea why.

An Invitation to Visit Her in Thailand

He comes back and goes off, and we had one more walk the following day before getting to the place we were staying. Then they were going to be going back to Thailand and I was going to be getting on my way. He asked me if I wanted to continue the walk with him. And I thought yes, I actually would hope to be able to spend more time with the girl just to understand things more because I was finding out things about the world that I didn’t know. Interested in things that I had never seen and wanting to think about Thailand because it sounded like a very crazy place.

The next day with the walk was quite uneventful though. Didn’t have much time to speak with her apart from when we went for lunch and he went to take some pictures of something. She didn’t want to go, so she’s with me, and she said, “Okay, I’m going to leave him, I will leave.”

Would you like to come and see me in Thailand? That was a huge shock. Why did she say that? Perhaps because she knew I didn’t know anything about Thailand. Perhaps because she knew that if she was in Thailand, she could meet someone who had never been there before. Perhaps she found out the fact it seemed to be that I was interested in it, I was interested in learning about how things worked. But I didn’t have any knowledge of Thailand. Perhaps that would be easier for her to get some kind of benefit out of me and to manipulate me towards something that she was interested in.

Perhaps she saw me as an easy target. I don’t know. Or perhaps it was just something that you say to someone because you’re being friendly. That could have been the case, too.

I said to her, “Maybe I will.” Then she, I don’t know how to put this, took her hand and grabbed a certain part of my body. And what am I meant to think? I pulled back and she said, “No problem. No problem.” And I calmed down. She said, “I want you to come and visit me.”

And she did it again. I just said, “Okay, let’s talk about it.” And she gave me her telephone number. 5 minutes later, he comes back. We set off continuing on the walk. And I’m just thinking, “What’s going on?”

We arrive at the place where they’re going to be getting transportation back to Kathmandu and bid farewell. I thought I’m probably not going to think any more of this and it was a very weird experience but nonetheless an experience that I still cherish even though what happened after this just beggars belief entirely.

Changing My Flight From Kathmandu to Bangkok

But I continued on with my walk. I was meant to be there for a month, had been walking for 2 weeks now, and I was getting quite tired. I was having a fantastic time, though, and I could have continued, but there was just something in my head saying why don’t you go and meet up with that girl or why don’t you go to Thailand call her and see what’s going on.

I was so intrigued about this bar, this elusive bar that was described, so intrigued about what this was meant to be, because she appeared, and this is the thing that really made up my mind. She appeared to be a normal girl. She didn’t appear to be a desperate girl. She didn’t appear to be a girl who would do anything in order to kick a habit, in order to continue a habit. She didn’t seem to be a girl like that, that I would picture as being in that world. It really intrigued me. I didn’t expect to ever meet her. I thought it was a fun thing, but I thought why not go to Thailand for 2 weeks.

I could fly from Kathmandu to Bangkok. With the airline I was flying with and my return ticket, I would have to fly back from Bangkok. But I worked it all out. It would have probably cost me about £600 to book a new flight returning from Bangkok instead, as well as the flight there. It didn’t appear to be a fortune, plus the money on the ground in Thailand. But again, why not? It’s not going to cost me that much. I was intrigued.

I was intrigued about a guy who retired early and was living in Thailand, traveling the world with a beautiful wife less than half his age. A girl who talked about working in a bar, and I didn’t picture it or understand what it was, who did something that shocked me and asked me to go and visit her.

This understanding that perhaps life is something that you’re meant to grab hold of. When an opportunity comes your way, grab hold of it, take hold of it, and push yourself towards it. I made the decision. I’m going to do it. And it cost me a couple of thousand pounds all in. But so what? We weren’t that far from Thailand when I was there. So I just thought it was a big decision to make, but not a big diversion really. It was just part of my holiday.

I can remember getting to Kathmandu with no suitable clothes for Thailand whatsoever. I was worried about that. But I thought I’d worry about it when I got there.

I was starting to feel this love of travel and how it was taking over me. This love of independence, this love of spontaneity, being able to do something on the spur of the moment. I found it so alluring, so mesmerizing. Again, thinking back to my old life, you had a schedule you had to maintain. You had to be in a specific location at a specific time, regardless of if you wanted to be or not. The fact that you could be in Nepal and just decide to go to Thailand, it was addictive. That was what life was meant to be about. Although I wasn’t thinking this far ahead, I was thinking this is what life should be. This is really what life should be about. You should be able to do what you want. Of course, you need the money to back it up.

But I find myself flying from Kathmandu in Nepal to Bangkok. It didn’t take so long to get there. We’d taken off. By the time I had a bit of a sleep, we’re landing at Bangkok Suvarnabhumi airport. I didn’t change. I had pretty warm clothes on. And as soon as I got there, I only had walking boots. Didn’t have anything else. The first thing I did when I found a hotel for myself was go on a shopping spree. Very cheap stuff. Didn’t spend a lot of money. But I bought some flip-flops, some shorts, a couple of t-shirts, and that was more like it.

I didn’t really know what to do, though. Felt like a fish out of water. Like, what am I meant to do now? I suppose the excitement of doing something crazy, changing your plans, was now nervousness. Was this really the right thing to do? But I think I thought, well, I want to call her. Let’s see what’s going on. It had only been 4 or 5 days since they’d left. Was it too soon? I don’t know. But I thought at least I could have a couple of days settling in and think about her later.

Discovering Bangkok Bars Before Travelling to Pattaya

But the first night, I wanted to go and see what these elusive bars were. See exactly if they were like I pictured them to be. To be honest, they weren’t anything like I pictured them to be. I pictured them as being very behind closed doors, very nondescript, as if you have to know where they are to be able to find them. Like you walk up to a building, nobody really knows what it is, and you’ve got to knock on the door secretively and give them a secret code to be able to walk inside and say what you’re there for. That’s what I pictured it was going to be. That’s what I thought it was going to be like.

But when you arrive at a particular street, and for the life of me, I can’t remember which street it was that first night, and you can see the bars, which are open air, girls literally standing on the street looking like angels trying to get you into them. Huge flashing lights, this electrifying energy that emanated from those places, as well as the music and the sounds of the street next to you. It was just a moment in time that completely shocks you and takes you by surprise.

I went into one bar, had a couple of drinks, and was talking to a girl as if it was nothing. And I’m starting to understand her behavior now and how it made sense because the place I walked into, this girl was behaving quite similarly to how she behaved. I didn’t even know that it wasn’t the main area at this point.

Again, I can’t remember for the life of me what the street was, but there were two little bars down the street next to normal buildings. I thought it must have been great. I just happened to be in the first place I arrived, at the hotel and it was just amazing, everything, the extreme things, and it just felt so exciting like anything went and like life was there to enjoy.

It’s a bit later when you go a bit further and see it’s wilder and I suppose a little bit more in your face than some places are. I’m starting to understand that girl’s behavior though and who she was and why she did what she did.

I remember her saying she worked in Pattaya. I remember him saying they lived in Pattaya and I was in Bangkok. Where is Pattaya? I had no idea. I thought I would make my way to Pattaya in a couple of days after just living this.

And I had a great time in Bangkok. I’d met one guy I was speaking to who was from the States.

He was there on what he called vacation or what I would call a holiday. And he was completely blown away by everything, too. He said it’s his first time. Usually goes to Colombia, he said, a place I’d always thought about and pictured Pablo Escobar and things like that. I’m thinking maybe I should go there at some point, too. I wanted to travel. I wanted to see the world, but he’s saying that Thailand’s better and safer, and it’s the best place he’s ever been.

I spent time speaking to the same people every single day throughout my life, doing the same things every single day. Now I’m speaking to different people all the time, and it’s amazing. I’m having the time of my life.

I’d barely been in Bangkok for 3 days when I had already learned where Pattaya was and how to get there. And I found myself getting a bus from Ekkamai bus station, only three quid or something. Pretty rickety thing. It wasn’t as modern as some of them, but it was one of the blue and white buses, and I was just looking out of the window. A couple of hours later, I arrived at the bus station, with a throng of people outside trying to get you into whatever mode of transportation they had. I hadn’t booked a hotel. I thought I’d get to an area that seemed to be crazy and stay there. And that’s what I did. And I found a place and it was amazing.

Meeting Her Again on Soi Buakhao

A couple of days go by and for whatever reason, I just couldn’t get the idea of not calling this girl out of my head. I couldn’t get the idea out of my head to not call her and I felt like I needed to. I really needed to for whatever reason. I did.

I had a proper international roaming package on my phone, which was a godsend because I went to try and buy a SIM card and they wanted my passport. They wanted my passport to buy a SIM card. I’m not that sort of person. Absolutely not. Not going to give you my passport to buy a SIM card, and you just find out that that’s how they do it in Thailand. But it seemed to be crazy. Why would you give someone your passport just so you could buy a SIM card? And I refused. So luckily I had this package.

But I remember calling her and she didn’t answer. Thought it must have been a fake number. But I thought I’d try again in a couple of hours, which I did. I’d already had a bit to drink. Loving everything I’m seeing, loving the experiences I’m having and what I’m doing, and just getting up to this crazy and wild time. Hadn’t done anything with the girl yet. It just seemed to be, I don’t know. I was just thinking about her as crazy as that was.

But I called again late evening and funny enough she actually answered. I could hear that she must be in a busy environment. She said, “Hello.” “Hello. Do you remember me?” I said. She said, “No.” “I see you in Nepal.” “Oh, I remember,” she said. “How is your husband?” I said. “Oh, he go already. I not stay him already. Do you want to meet up?” she said. That was shocking.

She just said it. I said, “Yeah, let’s do it.” Couldn’t wait. Couldn’t think anything else to do. And I just couldn’t believe how life could be this crazy but also so easy as well.

She said again, “You want to meet up?” It’s as if she hadn’t understood that I said yes. And I said yes. Where should I go? And she said, “Oh, come to my bar on Soi Buakhao.” She was saying it like she didn’t care. Like it was so matter of fact. Oh, I work here. I go back to work here.

She’d been with that guy for 6 months apparently and got married to him. Obviously I found out it was not a proper marriage and now she was back in the bar. I didn’t know what to expect, but she told me where it was. Soi Buakhao. Where I was at the moment, I think I was having a drink on Walking Street. I thought that must have been the main area, but I pulled out the phone, turned on Google Maps. It’s about 20 minutes away. That’s not bad. I can walk that.

And I’m walking through what I can only describe as this amazing, vibrant, exotic, exciting place where absolutely anything you wanted seemed to go. Life didn’t seem to have rules there. Life was just amazing.

I eventually arrived at Soi Buakhao and she told me the name of the bar and perhaps I should have asked whereabouts it was because I couldn’t find it on Google. So it took me 20 minutes walking around being very tempted to go into lots of other bars around there because this place seemed to be very different to Walking Street. It seemed to be mainly for what I would say guys that looked similar to me. Whereas Walking Street you had people mainly from what seemed to be like India and places like that. Not that that’s a problem. I’m not saying that I cared about that, but it just seemed to be a different kind of place.

I’m looking everywhere for this bar and I’m thinking, should I call her because I can’t find it? But I noticed it was just in the distance when I was walking around right on the main drag. Starting to think, is this a good idea?

The Truth About Her Australian Partner

I walk in and she sees me straight away and comes and says hi. Oh, I come back to Thailand and not stay with him anymore because I not like him or whatever. I come back to work in the bar. I start talking to her and just remembering all the crazy things. I don’t know. We’d been speaking for a very long time, I would say. And she said, “Oh, I never marry with him. He’d just tell me to say that we marry because he was shy.”

That was a weird thing for her to say. What do you mean? He’d just meet me about one week before I go with him to Nepal. He asked me to go with him on holiday and I said yes. Oh, okay. So, what you’re saying is if you want to take a girl on holiday with you, you just have to ask them and they’ll say yes. I didn’t say it like that, but I felt like saying it like that. I said something like that and that seemed to be the case.

He’d just say that when we meet people, he’d say maybe tell people that we marry. He just say we don’t need to say we marry for a long time, but just say we marry so people will understand that we together, not that he just take me. If we say that we just meet and he pay for me to go with him, people won’t like it. Well, I didn’t understand. Then she said straight away, “No, it’s great to actually see you.” It’s like she was trying to change the subject.

But then she started talking again, saying he did promise to help my family and send money for them as a repayment for me to go too. But that didn’t happen the same way that I expected.

Basically, it turned out that this personality that he’d given was actually just a guy who meets girls and probably takes them places and that’s it. So not serious at all. That really did explain it a lot better than before, but I didn’t really know what to make of it or anything like that because why would I?

But I’m chatting to her and then she kind of kept saying, “I like you because you not go to Thailand.” She even said it, “You never see me in Thailand. I think you not see many lady in Thailand, so I’m special,” she said. And she’s smiling with a drink in her hand. I should be looking at her appearance and thinking she’s absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. And there’s not much left to the imagination, though.

But we’re talking away again. Everything that she said, part of it was a lie. Talking about her family and how he doesn’t care about this and help with the family. Perhaps that was a thing. I don’t know. I mean, she said it was. He was meant to help, but he didn’t. I just stopped thinking about it and just thought enjoy yourself in the moment.

Then I find she’s taking me out of the bar. I didn’t pay the bill that evening and she said, “Don’t worry, I take care of you.” That obviously, knowing what I know about Thailand now, that just doesn’t happen. Nobody does it like that. No girl does that to a guy. Or maybe girls do, but only if they have an agenda.

Perhaps she’d seen a possibility and a chance in me about my complete naivety when it came to all things Thailand. “No problem. I take care for you,” she said. I want to go with you. And off we go. Where do you want to go? Oh, I want to go to your hotel, she said. Well, she had me right where she wanted me. Couldn’t make it up.

I couldn’t believe that a couple of weeks before this moment, I was on the way to Nepal to do a month’s trekking. Now, I was in Thailand with a girl that I’d met in Nepal that said she was married to a guy that I found out wasn’t married, who had met her and taken her away with him, and now she’s wanting me. Couldn’t believe it. What was going on was crazy, but it was phenomenal. It made me look back at my old life and think, “What was I doing putting up with that for all that time?” I had no idea why I did. But even still, there’s no excuse complaining about that and thinking about it. But this was just crazy.

Falling in Love and Paying Her Bar Fees

She didn’t go after those first few days, saying she wanted me to take her out of the bar and spend more time together. She said she didn’t like working there. After 3 days, she said, “I need to go and speak to the bar and I will meet up with you in the evening.” Something like that.

So, I had a bit of time to myself, just walking around. I went to a few different places, just having a few more drinks. Speaking to one guy who said he was from Scotland, just arrived that month, very excited, and he said something that made me think about the whole thing. I’m here for a month, going to be in Pattaya for a couple of days. I’m going to meet a girl and I’m going to take her with me to the beach for a week and see how that goes.

But he was saying it as if it was normal. Perhaps this other guy who I’d seen in Nepal, he was trying to be one of the guys that take girls to the beach, but taking her to a different country entirely. Perhaps he was trying to outcompete guys that took girls places. And I would find out that guys took girls to different countries, too. And it was something that I thought you wouldn’t do, but people seemed to. You wouldn’t meet someone and do that. I didn’t think.

But I felt like I’d met this girl and I didn’t meet her in that world. She wasn’t shy about that world. And she was taking care of the bar when I was with her, because of course she didn’t think that I would want to pay for it and I wasn’t. So it was like I was not in that world like these other guys were. It made me feel better I suppose about myself.

It didn’t make sense to me how it worked there. And because of that she could see that and was perhaps using what she had and a little bit of money to try and wrap me around her finger.

But I spoke to him and was understanding what people do when they’re in Thailand now. And fair play to them I suppose you have to say. But I wasn’t there for that. I was loving the bar experience because it was something unique and different that makes life exciting for a change as opposed to very dull and boring.

I went up to meet her in her bar again that evening and then she said the first time, “Oh, I want to go with you, but I can’t keep paying for the bar because I don’t have money now.” Of course, I would say I’ll pay if you want. And I said, “I would love to pay.” And she would say, “Oh, that’s great.”

By the time I get to the end of the time that I had in Thailand, when I was meant to be going back home and going back to that life, I find that all I wanted was to take her with me. She had made me understand that she was out of that world now. And she’d worked in a position like that. She’d met guys in the past and been taken to places with guys in the past. She’d let me know what she’d done. And she, from what I believed was going on, was trying to open up about that and trying to get out of it and find someone who hadn’t met her like that.

I believe because of that she saw something different in me than all the other guys she’d met because she met me in a different situation. She met me in a very different place and she believed that she could have a better time with me and build something more serious with me because that is after all what she kept saying she wanted.

At that time, though, why would a girl want to work like this if she didn’t need to? I thought she was seeing something in me in a positive way where we could both benefit and make each other’s lives better. Perhaps her intention was she saw something in me that I was naive and stupid and I didn’t know Thailand. Therefore, perhaps this is her moment to be able to try and actually score and make bank, if you will.

Leaving Pattaya and Flying Home

Either way, I was smitten. It probably cost me, diverting from Nepal, a couple of thousand, maybe 2,500, but I needed to go back. I had her phone number and I did promise to keep in touch, but I just didn’t know how to contain myself. When I was leaving Pattaya and leaving her behind, knowing she was going back to the bar, it made me feel sick.

But she said, “It’s no problem.” She said, “Work is one thing and love is something else.” And she kept saying that throughout the time we were together. Work is one thing, love something else.

When she said love, she said she loved me before I left. And she said I never loved someone before. So working is not the same thing. Don’t worry. Love not the same. Again, trying to wrap me around her finger. That’s exactly what she was doing.

But I couldn’t contain myself when I was going. Getting to Bangkok and flying home. It felt like a dream had taken place and I’m being taken back away from this dream and I’d woken up. Arriving back at home with this understanding that you’re going to be back here to the daily routines that seem to be nothing more than torment for the past decades. And now I’m going to have to be living this torment all over again. I just didn’t want that anymore. I didn’t want to do it. I wanted out. I wanted a new life. That’s it.

Returning to Thailand With My Savings

Well, if I don’t want to do this anymore, I was thinking what I would love to do is travel. I’d met that guy who kept talking about how he traveled and other people who did things. I hadn’t mentioned more than that, but there was this guy I met who worked remotely. He said he made about £1,500 a month. Ever since the end of COVID, he’d been to eight countries, he said he spent a month in each with only £1,500 a month. He said it’s enough money.

He explained how he worked remotely and I thought I could do that. I didn’t have enough money to live, but I could do that. At least I thought I could. I had enough money to set myself up, I thought. Didn’t own a house since I got divorced. Didn’t have any connections to my country. My eldest was not my responsibility anymore. So, why not? Why not try? I could scrape together about $18,000, which wasn’t a fortune, but it was something, I thought.

And I just decided, and this is crazy, I couldn’t make it up. I decided after 3 days of speaking to her, a couple of hours each day, wanting to be there, 3 days after getting back home, that I am going to go and I’m going to go and have a new life and I’m going to get something that I want for a change. I’m going to go and I’m going to enjoy traveling. I’m going to go to different places.

I wasn’t thinking of living in Thailand. I was thinking go back to Thailand, see where things develop with her, not be like that guy who’s going to take her to different countries and think he’s a big man for doing so, but maybe meet her, get to know her, spend more time with her, and then travel around to different countries, spending bits of money, and perhaps we could be an item.

I should be able to make money. And I looked into how I was going to get work. After 3 days, I decided I was doing it.

2 days after that, I’m back in Thailand again. And you couldn’t make it up. That’s just how you can understand that life can throw you a curveball and you can either take it, grab hold of it or not. I took hold of it. I had no idea what was to come though and that’s the thing. Absolutely no idea what was to come.

Of course, the first thing I did was make my way to Pattaya and meet up with her. She was delighted to see me. I basically changed my entire life for a girl who I met in Nepal with a guy who said they were married to each other who said that they went to have a village ceremony or whatever that was because apparently that’s what they did just so he can have a sign of respectability when he’s talking to people.

That didn’t make sense to me because he could have said to me, “Oh, we just met two weeks ago and we came here.” I wouldn’t have understood that because he met her in Thailand, that it would have meant anything other than what it could have meant if it happened anywhere else.

I met her there though. She talked about this guy, lying about him, saying how she doesn’t like him. He promised me this and it wasn’t really a lie because when I got back this time, she’s saying, you know, what I actually understood now. Everything was true apart from the marriage and apart from the fact that he didn’t really send family money. Promised all this, promised all that.

What it eventually boiled down to, he seemed to promise that he would give her more money for her family. And that’s what it was all about. If he’d given her more money, she’d have been happy and obliged to walk like everyone else was doing. But the money wasn’t there, so she was upset and angry. Obviously, it turned out that he only wanted to have her temporarily and that was why this was going on.

Paying 40,000 Baht to Leave the Bar

But I find I’m with her. I mean, I’m just completely of the mind that she is just who I need to be with and I want to be with her. Nothing else made sense. Being sensible didn’t make sense. Being careful didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense apart from this urge that I wanted and needed to spend as much time as possible with her.

I’d arrived in Thailand straight to Pattaya. She meets me and she said to me, “Just if I want to spend time with you, I can’t wait. But we need to pay the bar some money for me to stop working. Just a little bit. Then I don’t need to ever go back.”

I asked her how much it was and she said it was 40,000 baht. That was a huge shock. 40,000 baht. She said, “Yeah, because if I not work, they lose me and they don’t have me to have drinks for them and things like that.”

I felt it was basic human exploitation. How can she have to pay 40,000 baht to stop working? But that’s what she said it was. That’s what it was. And as much as it felt strange, I felt like I had to agree because what choice did I have? I’d come back to Thailand to see her and this is what it was going to take.

But because of that, we were now together, living together. And the furthest thing from my mind was that I needed to work. I knew I needed to make money, but at that time I wasn’t thinking about that. It was the furthest thing completely from my mind and I’m just loving life. I’m with her and basically a couple of weeks go by and I’m there like the last time just like I’m on holiday.

I probably spent a couple of thousand out of my menial savings there like I was on holiday thinking every day I wake up, I need to do something. I need to work, need to make money, need to work remotely, and I need to settle down.

But every day she wakes up, because she always woke up a lot later than me, and it was like, “What do you want to do today? Let’s go here. Let’s do this.” And I’m going with it. I went with it for probably a whole month. Visa problems were annoying along the way, but they were sorted. But probably a whole month I went with it.

And one night she took me to a club with a couple of her friends and she was getting so drunk. I didn’t think about how she’s a lot younger than me. She’s still wanting to party and still wanting to do this. I thought she’s having a good time.

And again, it’s with me. I don’t know what’s going on. I think that I found someone who’s real and wanted to escape her old life. And I think that she’s met me and she actually feels that way about me and she loves me because of that. I didn’t know about the manipulation that was going on at every angle.

Living Together in Pattaya and Looking for Remote Work

After that month, I told her, “Why don’t we find somewhere to live? We can’t continue staying in a hotel.” And she said, “Yes, let’s do that.”

We found somewhere that wasn’t expensive, but she’s always wanting to go out and do things and do this and do that and do more and more every single day.

I would say it was another 3 months, probably around that. That was how it went and how it went and how we’re spending all my money. Basically going out all the time. It was about half my money all gone. Now it was time to look for something. But those 3 months, they were, and I have to admit it, the best months of my life.

But we needed to calm down. She said she understood, and she said she could go out and I could work. That was a weird thing.

You have to remember though, the money I’m giving her, I’m only giving her a bit. Probably 5,000 which she sent to her family.

It didn’t seem like a lot of money. It wasn’t like she wanted any money. At least it didn’t seem like that. It really wasn’t like that at all. It just seemed like she wanted me.

I started putting my head in the game and started applying for jobs remotely, which turned out to be difficult. But I thought I hadn’t looked into it too much and I just held on to the belief that it was going to be something I could do. And because I could do that, there’s no point looking into it first because it might ruin the dream and you don’t want to ruin the dream. But I always had this confidence that eventually I would be able to find something.

I am, though, spending time doing this. Not really too much, not really as much as I should have been because she goes out and I find I’m calling her and I’m going to meet her.

I thought it was because I really loved her at this point. I don’t know why, but I did. I just felt like she was my world. The way she acted with me, it was like I don’t know. I couldn’t see it any other way.

A Marriage Proposal and Gold in Pattaya

But it was like she didn’t really want money from me at all. That’s what it honestly felt like. Because of that, I thought the best thing to do was to get married.

And I asked her to marry me. I asked her to get married to me as quickly as possible. I didn’t know her that well, but I just thought with the whole situation and how it came together, it felt like it would be great, so let’s do it.

She said she’d love to do that. That made her happy, she said. And because of that, I was happy, too.

The following day when we actually get up in the morning, I’m starting to look about and you know, let’s get married. When it was agreed that that was okay, she said, “Can you buy me some gold, please?” And I thought that was harmless.

She wanted a necklace and a bracelet and a ring. We went to the gold shop. They seem to have loads of gold shops around. I didn’t know anything about gold. And it ended up basically costing me about £35,000, about three baht weight of gold, whatever that was.

But I didn’t understand at the time: one baht necklace, one baht bracelet, one baht ring. The ring looked ridiculous on her, but she seemed to like it.

Now we were engaged. I’m happy. And, you know, basically I went with £18,000, already spent half, now spent some of that again, probably about £6,000 left, and that was it.

And I’m starting to think once we get married, we’ll be able to go home together. We’ll be able to do that. I’ll get her a visa and I’ll work there. I can’t do the traveling that I expected because it was just maybe an excuse not to look for online work, this elusive online work that people seem to do that I was struggling with.

I just couldn’t be bothered with that. It was like I couldn’t be bothered to do it. I just wanted to enjoy myself with her. And everything though was basically one step away from realizing that I couldn’t do this online work. Didn’t have much money left. So, we can go home. And that made me calm down and enjoy myself again.

I did do some looking. I found a couple of places where they were looking for people to work remotely so they could work for less than they would work at home. I know there were opportunities that seemed to come up, but I thought once we get married, I will sort that out. The thought of going home made me calm down and still be able to enjoy the moment.

Visiting Her Family in Roi Et

I didn’t have much money, but because we were engaged and I knew her so well at this point, we’re going to see her family, aren’t we? Because that’s what was talked about before and I wanted to get married properly too and she said she did too.

I said, “Are you sure that guy didn’t go up to your family and do this? Because apparently he did and then he didn’t and then he did.” And it’s like, “No, he didn’t. It was just said that way.” Because he wanted respectability as if he knew everyone knew Thailand like he did. But of course, they didn’t. Again, he just said like that because he didn’t want people to think that he’d just take a girl so easily. Whatever reason.

But with that, we went up to her village in Roi Et, went up in a taxi, and that was 200 quid, and I’m spending money but thinking once we’re married things will be good and we can go home together.

We arrived and checked into a hotel and she said we can rent a motorcycle the following day and we can go and visit her family and we can talk about the marriage and we can get everything arranged. That sounded really great to me and we did just that.

Where she came from was very very remote. Nothing like the excitement of Bangkok or Pattaya or even anything in between. Think about countryside but think very poor. Think backwards. Think wooden houses with holes in. Think pickups parked outside them, probably bought on finance, and this laid-back lifestyle, but very friendly people.

I introduced myself. They didn’t speak a lick of English. I didn’t speak any Thai, and she’s doing all the translations. She said, “My family are so happy that I’m getting married. They wait for me to get married.”

I saw her child, by the way, who she hadn’t seen for a long time. Her parents were taking care of her child, but they were very excited that she was getting married. Everyone seemed to be. Apparently, they couldn’t wait. They can’t wait for everything.

And I tried my best to talk to them in a way I could, but it was through translations.

Sin Sod and a House for Her Family

Then came something else. She turned to me and they said, “For sin sod, can you give 500,000 and we can marry and we can build a house here?”

I looked at her and started laughing, really, because I thought she was joking. “What do you mean, sin sod?” I hadn’t heard of that. Oh, when you marry lady in Thailand, the man give money to lady family. My family say 500,000. Okay.

Some family, a lot more, she said. But my family, okay, just 500,000. They say they give this land here for me.

And she pointed to some land right next to the house. We can build small house here. We don’t need to live here all the time, but we can come sometime and live here in this house.

I said, “How much is the house going to cost?”

She said, “Oh, not so much. Maybe 1,500,” she said.

And she’s just looking at me dead set, serious in the face, like nothing’s wrong, like nothing’s weird or strange. In essence, she’d just asked me for like 2 million baht, which was over 40,000 quid. And at that moment, I had just over 5,000 in the bank and no income.

I had to ask her again, “What do you mean? It doesn’t make sense to me. Why do I have to pay this? We love each other. We will get married and we can go to Pattaya and I can try to work or we can go to my country. I need to work. I need to make money.” She said, “Yeah, no problem. We can do like this, but you need to do this first for family.” I’d never told her how much money I had or anything like that. I didn’t think it was important because as long as we were okay together, as long as we loved each other and cared about each other, then money is not a problem, is it?

Explaining My Savings and the Failed Marriage Plans

I felt like, well, now I had to tell her because I didn’t have £500,000. I had just over £5,000 and that was it. That had to pay for the wedding.

I thought the wedding might be £1,000. I thought that would take place and then once we were married, she would be my wife and we would settle down and she would start doing things my way. I thought that was what was going to happen.

I’d completely fallen in love with her. I really loved her, but she had me right where she wanted me to be.

And I told her, “Seriously, I don’t have 500,000.”

Then she started laughing. I not believe you. You have a lot of money. You come from England. You have a lot of money.

I think when she said that and she saw the look on my face, she realized that I didn’t have that money.

I said I have maybe 200,000. We can live okay. I can work. We can be okay together. Don’t worry. I love you, I said.

She looked like she’d seen a ghost. Really like she’d seen a ghost. The thing was I did. If I did have 500,000, would I have given it to them? The thing is, yes, I would. If I had enough money to build a house, would I have done that? Yes, even if that was the only money I had in the world, I would have done it because I cared about her so much. But I physically couldn’t. And it really did look like she’d seen a ghost.

She said, “Oh, maybe you can borrow money from someone. Maybe borrow money from family.” I said, “I can’t do that. I don’t have anyone that can lend me any money. I really can’t do it. I cannot get money. You tell family I can. We can get married and I can give money later.”

I said, “I can give money maybe in 5 years. Little bit of money every year for 5 years. Is this okay?” She said, “No, my family not okay. It not work like this one Thailand.” That was when you start listening to the way she speaks English and you start thinking to yourself, “What are you doing here?” She said it again. “It not work like this one Thailand.” That’s exactly how she said it. Not work like this one Thailand. What do you mean? It’s like, “What is going on here?” I just didn’t know.

An Argument in Roi Et and Returning to Pattaya

Then she started talking to her family and when she turned to look at them, she didn’t look as shocked and she just said, “Oh, I tell my family we come back later. We go then.” I was about to do the bow down to the family as if to show some respect, thinking we’ll sort this out later.

And we got on the bike, went back to the town, and then she started completely laying into me. This was in the middle of the street, right next to the small shop that had a couple of motorcycles for rent, just laying into me. Why you lie me? Why you do this? Why you do this? What I can tell family?

Not once had she talked about money. Not once had she talked about anything like that. And she was obviously so convinced that I must have at least enough money to do that. So convinced I would be stupid enough to do that, which I would have been if I had it. And that’s the sad thing that she thought that I was her ticket to half a million baht and a small house in her family’s village. She thought she was going to get that out of me.

And she would have done if I had it. But I didn’t. Because I didn’t. She’s ripping into me. You lied to me about this.

I had to try and calm her down. I not lied to you once. I never tell you I have any money. I never tell you anything. Yeah, you tell me you have job. Yes, I had a job, but I don’t have a job anymore. I’m looking for a job. I spent a lot of money when I came here. Now I want to get married to you. Can we get married and give money later? No. Thailand not work like this. You stupid man. You stupid. I don’t know what to tell family. I have to tell family you die. I tell my family you leave. Maybe they not have problem with me if I tell them like this. I said, “Well, we can go to Pattaya first.” And she said, “I not go Pattaya with you. What you do to me is so bad. You do this is so bad.”

I was really distraught. I just didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to do. I was heartbroken, but also coming to terms with the fact that she basically thought she was going to get something out of me. But I didn’t have anything for her to get out of me. And she didn’t think anything to check. Her plan had failed though, and all of a sudden, she’s completely destroyed and devastated because of this. And now it’s my fault.

Even though that was never talked about or agreed to or anything along those lines. It was just awful. That’s the only way to put it. “Not going to Pattaya with you.” She had a couple of things at the place we were renting in Pattaya. We were renting it together and I kept saying we but I was renting it really, wasn’t I? She was just, I don’t know, trying to get something out of me.

And you really couldn’t make this up. It was a completely crazy situation. A completely crazy ride that my life had taken. She’d left and I find I’m making my way to Pattaya myself. I go back to the room and all my stuff’s gone.

Luckily, there wasn’t much stuff. Luckily, it wasn’t worth a lot of money, but it had all gone. Couldn’t be bothered. I was too upset and too disappointed.

And I find for the next couple of days I don’t get out of bed because I am so upset and distressed and dejected, not understanding how this has happened.

Finding Remote Work After the Relationship Ended

Then I started to come round a bit and, as you do, go out. Then you start chatting to a girl in a bar and relaxing a bit and wanting to open up to someone, but feeling shy, never feeling too shy at the same time.

That’s what it was like. It just took its toll on me.

It took me a couple of weeks, though to get to the point where I’m starting to tell myself, “You don’t have anyone there to try and take money from you. Maybe you should try to find work. Maybe you should try that because that’s what you’re there for. If you don’t find something soon, you’re going to have to leave and go back home.”

And I still didn’t want to go back home. I tried to get my head back in the game and put something together.

I’m not going to say life’s been great, but it hasn’t been bad either since then because I found something.

Ever since, I’ve hoped to meet someone who makes me feel excited like that girl did. I think it was just how it happened, my lack of knowledge about Thailand, the fact that it was when I was in Nepal, a place I’d always wanted to go and visit, and the fact that everything added together.

And I want to get that feeling back like I was with her, but it’s never happened.

Travelling in Southeast Asia and Planning for My Future

I spent a bit more time in Thailand. I remembered that guy saying how he lived on £1,500 a month traveling around to different places and whatnot.

I don’t spend a lot of money. I stay in cheap accommodation. I eat cheap food, go on dates when I can, hoping to get that feeling back. But I don’t save money either. But I don’t care. I want to live and enjoy today.

So far, apart from Thailand, I’ve been to Vietnam. I’ve been a number of times to Cambodia and Malaysia and I want to go back to Nepal too. But that will be when I have to have some more money saved.

Life isn’t amazing because I don’t have enough money not to work, but life is what it is and I’m happy to be living it. Very different from anything I’d have expected before and you never know what each day is going to bring.

That event that took me there, the understanding that all she cared about was money, not even asking for or wanting much money from me to start with, thinking that all of a sudden she’s going to get this load from me, it really took me aback. It shocked me and it made me upset.

But who knows? Maybe I will meet a girl who’s genuine and real one day. Which country that will be in, I don’t know.

Or maybe, which is the thing I’m scared about the most, is I’ll have to go back home and be more serious about life because I don’t really have enough money or savings to live like this. Nothing for a rainy day.

But I do love living like this. The problem is it will get to a point in life, be it 10 or 15 years’ time or however long, when I can’t do this anymore. That’s what I need to make sure I have enough money in place for then.

I think it’s very, very crazy what happened. Although I’m completely over her now, I still think about her because I suppose she gave me the life I’m living now in some kind of roundabout way. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be living this life. And I am thankful to be living this life.

I’m just hoping and praying that I will find something that allows me to put something in place for my future. That’s what I’m concerned about now. But for the most part, I’m very happy living and enjoying.