The Spell of the Bar Girl and First Timers Tale

My first trip to Thailand was in 2016 when I was 35 years of age. I’m from Bury St Edmunds in England and left school at 16. Like many my age, I got married far too early. It was okay at first, but after the birth of my first child, my wife morphed into your typical household tyrant like your typical school bully.

By the time the second kid came along, she had already turned into a fully fledged howling monster. She was always nagging for a bigger house with a bigger garden, a bigger car, and wanted me to work my backside off around the clock doing all the overtime I could get. I went along with it at first, but it started to take its toll on my physical and mental health.

I had no choice but to divorce and move out and find a less stressful job. I lived for weekends when my lovely kids came to visit. I’m not a big drinker, and nothing bored me more than being with the boys down the pub talking about football and the single mums they had dated.

One day, my best friend from school days asked me if I wanted to join him for a trip to Thailand. To be honest, I’m not a great traveler, but he soon persuaded me with tales. He had been there before and told me about the beautiful Thai bar women and freelancers who would go with anybody provided they didn’t smell.

I had done a couple of flings with “factory reject” women desperately looking for a stepdad for their horribly behaved children or a baby before it was too late but I had no intention of bringing up somebody else’s damaged goods.

We found a very reasonable package deal online for two nights in Bangkok, then 8 days in Phuket. I couldn’t wait to go.

First Night Mistakes in Bangkok

Getting off the plane late in the afternoon and being hit by that waft of sweet smelling hot air was a great introduction to our adventures. You knew you were in a new land far from home.

Despite all the warnings we had been given, we got an overpriced taxi to our hotel. Our second newbie mistake was hitting Patpong and allowing ourselves to get talked into a ping pong ball show in one of those upstairs bars. It was far too seedy and pushy for us, and when we split after only 20 minutes, our beers came to 900 baht each. It was pay or fight our way out, and we were too jet lagged to put up any resistance.

We then jumped into a taxi to Soi Cowboy, which was fun. Every bar we went into, girls came and sat with us, but we never took anyone. After sleeping most of the following day, we hit Nana Plaza early, around 8:00 p.m. The energy and fertility of the place was just amazing. I had never been anywhere like it before.

We went into a downstairs bar at the back just to make sure that everything I had heard was true. We asked a waitress if we could take these girls out, and she said, “Of course, it’s a go go bar.” It was only then that we noticed the girls were far taller than the ones we had seen at Soi Cowboy, and it suddenly dawned on us that these were not real girls at all. We left hurriedly, a bit embarrassed.

We found a lively bar on the upstairs floor with real ladies. It was here that it happened.

The Connection with a Bangkok Bar Girl

I was glancing at a girl on stage when she pointed to herself as they do. When she finished her set, she came to sit with me and asked for a lady drink. To be honest, she was not the most attractive dancer in the world, but she spoke good English and had a certain something about her. She noticed my friend was on his own, so she called her friend over who quite frankly was the least attractive girl in the house. But my friend, being the faithful wingman he was, went along with it after initially recoiling in disgust.

Time passed fast, and we ended up paying the bar fine. The bar fine was 1,500 baht, which sounded a bit steep, but at the time we just didn’t care. My wingman seemed to have changed his mind about his one because he had his arm around her and they were kissing in the elevator up to the room. We parted ways, and what followed was the session of my life if you know what I mean. Instead of just going to sleep afterwards, we stayed another couple of hours just talking about ourselves, which was a mistake because it created a connection which wasn’t there before.

I woke up before her in the morning, and as I gazed at her long black hair lying so peacefully like an angel on the pillow, I couldn’t help thinking how kind fate had been to me in bringing her into my life. She was really upset when I said we were off to Phuket, so couldn’t go to her bar tonight. She stopped short of sobbing, but her emotions seemed genuine as far as I could tell. I struggled to hold back a tear myself. I had never felt this way about anyone before. She had put a spell on me, and I was smitten.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her on the flight to Phuket, and if I hadn’t been with a friend, I’d have returned to Bangkok during our Phuket stay.

Phuket was great fun but a different scene, centering on hundreds of beer bars and freelancers in nightclubs. The few go go bars I found were low energy, boring joints with unattractive ladies mainly well past their sell by date.

The following year, I returned to Bangkok alone. The first thing I did was go to my girl’s bar, but she was nowhere to be seen. Nobody had even heard of her until a mamasan was found who informed me that she had gone back to her village in Isan. I don’t know if I was disappointed or relieved, but kind of pleased she had quit the sordid nightlife.

A Healthy Attitude Toward Bar Girls

I have been back to Thailand every year since then, except during the pandemic, when I actually managed to get to Tunisia for a beach holiday. It was amazing to discover how easy it was to meet young local Arab girls in shopping malls and fast food restaurants more than happy to go to my hotel. You need to speak a bit of French, though. The only real difference from Thailand was that they did not work in bars and were far less crazy. Most said they were students.

I am now a confirmed bargirl addict but never go with the same girl more than once. There are just too many other beauties to try. There is no doubt that bar girls enhance a man’s ego and quality of life, even if only for a short time. You go home to your own country a foot taller with a warm glow.

I see bar girls as neither good nor bad and try not to generalize. There is no such thing as a “special girl” if she was really special, she would be so popular that she would not have time to hang with a guy like me.

Once you can distance yourself from your own emotions and testosterone, you can see bar girls as neither good nor bad, but a product of their culture and environment. It should be their brother’s job to care for the family, but some men up north are so goddamn lazy that the burden falls on their sisters, who are left with not many options given the low status and lack of education.

As soon as they hit the bars in the big tourist areas, they are soon corrupted by the other girls. They see nothing wrong in stringing along multiple farangs and getting them to support them financially with false promises. They will not remain young and desirable for long, so have to do the best they can while the going is good. It’s just life in poor countries.

I have no doubt the same is true in poor countries all over the world. The only difference being that those countries do not have the same tourist infrastructure that Thailand has. No guy in his right mind will want to spend his precious vacation time in Uganda or Venezuela when they can enjoy a safe and rewarding time in Thailand.

Story 2 A Success Story from the Philippines

I’m engaged to a Filipino named Daisy, who is 2 inches shorter than me. She’s working in Singapore as a care worker. I’m 48 now and she is 43. This is my first time being engaged but my second time meeting a woman from the Philippines. One of the Filipinos I work with knew I was interested in Asian women. He gave me Daisy‘s Messenger details, which he got from his partner. His partner and Daisy had worked together in Singapore before his partner moved to New Zealand.

Daisy and I started talking in April of last year when I was 46 and she was 41. We also did video calls always do a video call before meeting someone in person so you can see who you’ll be meeting. I see it as a safety precaution. We got along well.

After the Christmas holidays last year, I surprised her by telling her I was coming to meet her. Daisy told me she had her annual leave coming up in April, and she was so happy that we were finally going to meet after a year of talking. So I booked a flight and flew to the Philippines.

She met me at Manila Airport and took me to the hotel, where we spent the last 2 weeks of April together. At that time I was 47 and she was 42. I met her grown up son, and I also met her younger brother’s wife and their three kids while her brother was at work. One day, Daisy showed me around her area, and we had a great time together. We got engaged while I was there. Food over there is cheap and tastes great. I went over with 11 kg of luggage and came back with 24 kg just like the first time I went 7 years ago. I was there during the summer with temperatures over 40°, and then returned to New Zealand in early May just as winter was starting to come on. Two weeks later, I caught a cold.

After our time together, I went home and Daisy returned to work in Singapore. When I got back home, I asked her if she wanted to come to New Zealand to live, and she said a big yes. So I started the paperwork for her visitor visa in May, and it was approved at the start of July. She’s excited to be coming to New Zealand, and her flight from Singapore lands at the end of September at Christchurch International Airport, where I will meet her. Christchurch is the largest city in the South Island and the second largest in New Zealand after Auckland, which is the biggest city in the North Island.

We’re both a year older now. It costs a lot of money to move her through the different types of visas so she can stay with me permanently. When Daisy comes here, she knows things will be difficult from what she’s used to. One thing I forgot to mention earlier is that over time she started to understand my English better. We’re really happy with each other, though we both wish we had found each other 20 years ago. I went to the Philippines mainly because English is widely spoken there but there are Asian women who speak good English. You just must find them.

Story 3 The Hangover Moment That Ruined Everything

I first went to Thailand in 2012 as a 27 year old. I had just broken up with a Thai girl who was living and studying in Sydney, but had never been to Thailand before. I had planned the trip to go with her, but after we broke up I decided to go alone which was very new and scary for me as I had always traveled with a group of friends.

I had an absolute blast. I just loved going out and meeting people from around the world. I would go to the beer bars almost every day and never once felt lonely. There was always someone to have a beer with, and if not, the bar girls would always be entertaining with either flirting or playing pool.

In my job, I get six weeks’ holiday per year, so I’d split them into two lots of three weeks and go twice a year between 2012 and 2017. I just loved the place but especially Pattaya.

Moving to Thailand for an 18 Month Life

In 2017, I decided that I wanted to spend more time there and live there for about 18 months. I saved and lived in a tiny little flat in Sydney. I worked my backside off, worked all the overtime I could get, and had just about 2 or 3 days off a month. I managed to save about $50,000 Australian dollars and planned to live cheaply in Thailand, work on my fitness, and basically have a chilled lifestyle for a while. I also planned on finding a bit of work to help pay for everyday expenses either by doing some English teaching, making videos, or even finding something to do online. So it was early 2018 when I sold everything that I had which wasn’t much and just had a suitcase with clothes and a few other essentials. That’s all I had. I also had spent the last 18 months working out at the gym. I had a pretty good physique and was at the prime of my life.

I landed in Bangkok about midnight, jumped into a taxi and just asked him to take me to Nana for 300 baht, to which he accepted. He asked me what hotel I was staying in. I replied, “I don’t have one. I’ll work something out later.” To which he laughed. I’ll never forget that driver. We chatted the whole trip.

I got to The Stumble Inn Bar at about 1:00 a.m. and was too excited for sleep and decided to drink the night away before looking for a place to stay in the morning. It was a fun night, and as the sun came up, a nice young lady offered a massage. This was a great opportunity to kill a few hours before I started looking at hotel options. As soon as I laid down, I basically fell asleep for a few hours on the table. I woke up and there was no one around, so I left with my suitcase. I felt awful as I had not paid the girl for her services, but managed to find her that night and gave her the money and a large tip for looking after me and my suitcase that had my money in it.

After a few days of drinking and entertaining the ladies, the pace, noise, and hustle of Bangkok was getting a bit annoying, and I decided to get the big blue bus to Pattaya, where I’d search for a monthly apartment. I had a budget of about 15,000 baht a month. I looked at about seven different ones. It seemed to me the modern ones were nice but very small, so I opted for an older one just near Tree Town that was very old but was massive, with a great big balcony with a great view of Soi Buakhao. It was only 18,000 baht per month as well. It was also very close to Tony’s Gym, which I planned on visiting just about every day. A few weeks passed. I was still partying and drinking every day. I was eating Thai food from the streets and cheap restaurants and never had a problem. After a few more weeks, I started feeling run down, anxious, and started realizing that I was overdoing it on the booze. I had been drinking every day for a month. My muscle tone was rapidly fading away, and I was getting a beer belly. I had even begun smoking while drinking. Basically, I had let the city of seven Saturdays a week get the better of me and was finding it hard to do something else other than going to bars and drinking.

I decided I should move away from temptation for a while. I had an old friend who lived just outside Jomtien, so I got a little place near there and told myself that I needed to get fit again and cut down on the booze. This plan worked pretty well. I managed to get fitter, only had beers twice a week, and life was looking up again.

The Thai Lawyer Girlfriend in Jomtien

I met a lovely Thai girl who was a lawyer, who was on a weekend getaway. She was 28 and very beautiful. I was in love instantly. I stayed in Jomtien and would visit her and stay with her on weekends. She owned her own brand new condo. We got on really well, and we even went to visit her parents in Hua Hin a few times. They were quite financially comfortable not rich by any means, but comfortable.

I had this amazing girl who had a great job and who loved me very much, and I decided to move in with her. I would pay her monthly mortgage payments, which were cheaper than most guesthouses would charge for a month.

I had done a few visa runs to Singapore a city I really love and was just enjoying my life. I had been really good with my money, but it was in need of some replenishing. I had about $15,000 Australian dollars left. Me and my girlfriend decided that it would be a good idea for me to go back to Australia and work for about 6 months, save about $20,000, which would last me about another year in Thailand. So I lined up a job with my old company and planned to head back to Sydney.

The Night That Changed Everything in Pattaya

I decided to visit my friend in Jomtien a few days before my flight to say goodbye for 6 months. We hit the bars in Pattaya. He started buying shots, and we got wasted. I don’t remember too much of that night, but I woke up to my girlfriend’s call and realized there was a girl asleep next to me. I had done the unthinkable and taken a bar girl back to my hotel.

The hangover was horrendous, but the guilt was sickening. I ignored the call from my girlfriend and laid there for about an hour thinking about what I should do. The girl next to me woke up and went to shower and wow, she was a stunner. The room was a mess with bottles and glasses everywhere. I went to the balcony where there was my friend and another bar girl asleep. It really was like the day after scene from the movie The Hangover.

We all went out for breakfast, and we said goodbye to the girls. I felt terrible for my girlfriend and decided that I should not tell her what happened, as we had a really good life set up. She one day wanted to live in Australia. We had discussed living in Thailand and Australia together, and I didn’t want to ruin her or my dreams.

The next day we were in bed together. It was the day before I left. We were just watching random YouTube clips on my phone. A text popped up on my phone from the bar girl from Pattaya. It said, “I miss you,” with a photo of her in a very sexy pose.

As you can guess, my girlfriend was distraught. The next day I flew back to Australia. It was February 2020. I started my new job in Sydney and would spend all day texting her begging for forgiveness. She replied sometimes. She never officially broke up with me.

The pandemic was now in full swing, and I couldn’t get back to Thailand. To this day, we still talk. I still have hope that one day she will forgive me and the world will open up again, and we can live our lives together.

Story 4 The Second iPhone and a German Nightmare

I’m 57 now. I’ve been traveling both privately and in my work since I was 16, starting together with my older brother. Anyway, I wouldn’t say I’m new to traveling, but I had never visited Thailand before. Early 2017, I was about to go visit a friend and do a road trip on motorbikes, but just before our trip to his house in Hua Hin, he had a minor accident in Europe, so he was in no shape to go there. I had my ticket, and I decided to go see Bangkok by myself.

I was in Bangkok for a few days. I found Nana Plaza right away and had a nice time there. One evening, I met a guy who told me about an even better place called Pattaya. He said, “Let’s head down there together.” Not long after, we were in a taxi going to Pattaya. Once we arrived in Pattaya, I was left alone as my new friend had gone off to meet his friends but hadn’t invited me. I didn’t have a clue where I was in the city. I ended up alone on Second Road but found a small, comfortable hotel very easily and checked in.

After a good night’s sleep and a look around the next day, I went into Central Festival and bumped into the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. She was working there. I asked her if she’d like to come to dinner with me, and she accepted. At the time I was 50 years old, but I looked younger than my age, and I was fairly fit with no beer belly yet. Chatting away at dinner, she told me that she has a university degree. She had no tattoos that I could see, and she was born locally. My first impressions of her were that she was a very nice girl.

After dinner, I asked her if she would like to come and have a few drinks with me in a bar. She told me she never drinks alcohol and would never be seen in a bar. I ended up in Soi 7. I went into a bar and was immediately surrounded by lots of pretty girls, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl I had had dinner with. I was just kind of infatuated or in love with her already. The next day, I decided to hit the local gym for a workout, and I had a nice walk along Beach Road. Later in the day, I got to Walking Street and could hear all the commotion with the ghost screams from the beer bar complexes. I didn’t head into Walking Street. Instead, I decided to go back to my hotel with the intention of hitting some beer bars later.

That evening, I headed to an area of beer bars that had Thai boxing in the middle. I was invited into the ring for a friendly boxing match with the Thai guy, who I’m guessing was half my weight and considerably shorter than me. He promised not to hurt me, so I thought, “Why not?” Once in the ring, this little guy hammered me. I only lasted 5 minutes, so I thought it’s safer to get out and have a beer instead. Stepping out of the ring, very sweaty, with lots of girls clapping for me, my phone suddenly rang. It was the girl I had dinner with yesterday. She told me that she had packed in her job and would like to meet me again. She had installed the Line app onto my phone so was able to contact me.

I was very happy to meet her again, and we had another nice dinner together. Afterwards, we went back to my hotel, and she stayed for the night. I had really fallen in love with this girl very quickly. I had only checked into my hotel for 3 days but decided to extend my stay for 10 days so that I could spend the rest of my holiday with this girl. We moved to the Siam Siam Hotel, but to be honest it was far too far from the fun part of town. My 10 days continued as my first. I tried different bars every night but always ended up with my new girlfriend after she finished work at her job.

Marriage and a Life Between Europe and Thailand

When I returned home and went back to work, I just couldn’t stop thinking about this girl, so decided to head back to Thailand. It was now 2017. Once I was back in Thailand, we spent quite a bit of time with her family. She never asked me for anything, but I paid for meals and bought her small gifts not because she asked, but because I wanted to. Just some cheap, beautiful dresses because I liked to see them on her, and it was very small money.

Life continued like this. I stayed longer and longer each time. One time I stayed for 6 months. We traveled to Vietnam, Laos, and explored Thailand. She came to visit me in Europe on a tourist visa. She asked me if we could get married. Of course, I said yes. I loved her. I was so happy. So we married. We applied for a permanent visa for her in Europe.

Early 2019, I decided to go back to Europe to assist my mother who had had two operations back to back. We bought a new apartment in the same city as my mother, and we also have a very nice home in Spain. We traveled around Europe and took care of my mother.

Suddenly, in early 2020, the pandemic hit, and we were stuck in Europe in our new apartment in a small town close to where my mother lives. This is an hour from the capital, which meant we were in for a very boring few months. But Spain never suffered any real strict lockdowns like the rest of Europe.

About this time, out of the blue, I became quite sick. My legs and feet became swollen, and at Christmas I really thought that I might die as I was in very bad shape. In February 2021, I was diagnosed with cancer and had two operations. The latest one was in April. I’m now getting better and better, and these days I’m back at the gym again, but I’m not in the same shape as before.

I felt so happy that I met the right Thai girl, who supported me throughout my sickness. She’s made many friends here in Germany and sometimes has the odd night out with her girlfriends. She now also has a permanent visa and is currently studying and learning the German language.

Finding the Second iPhone and the Hidden Messages

She appeared to act slightly different not a lot, but I noticed it and asked her what was wrong. She said nothing. And then I found a second iPhone. I looked at the phone. It was exactly the same as her regular iPhone, but there were lots of messages in Thai on it. I took it to a friend that I trust to have her translate the messages for me. I don’t understand Thai at all, so whenever my wife talked with her friends in Thailand, I recorded what she was saying in Thai and sent the recordings to my friend for translation.

We were both shocked about what she was talking about. She was talking about staying with me until she received her passport, then she would be looking to meet other guys. She was also planning to meet older guys in shopping malls and Thai restaurants and those sorts of places, with a view to them paying her money that she could use to go back and forth to Thailand. At this point, I didn’t let on to her that I knew anything for a while. I just gathered evidence by keeping these recordings and having them translated. But eventually, I confronted her. I spoke to her in a very calm way and told her I knew what she had been speaking about for weeks. And of course, she denied everything.

So I played back the recordings and told her I had them translated. She started to scream at me and told me that I should understand that she needs a younger man, a passport, and she has to send money home to her family. And on top of that, she told me I had given her enough money to send her back to her family. So much for my loving, caring wife. She has just signed the divorce papers and will move out, but doesn’t realize she’ll get nothing as she signed an agreement when we got married.

The translator told me that my wife had planned this from the start and she was speaking with other friends who were doing the same thing. This was definitely a targeted operation that they’ve been doing for years. I’ve lost a lot of money, but it hasn’t cleared me out, and I’ve now learned a lot. When my wife realized she wouldn’t get anything from me, she started working in a Thai massage shop in the city and now sells her body nightly, as she doesn’t want to return to Thailand. She went to a lawyer and told him she didn’t understand the agreement that she signed at the beginning of the marriage, but I’d had it translated into Thai as well, so she got nowhere with this scam.

She will be 34 in October and now works full time in the massage shop, earning money by servicing different men every night. I later discovered that one of my grown up son’s friends had been chatting with my wife on Snapchat after they met on Tinder. A local bar owner who I’m friends with also contacted me and told me a story about her with another man, but by this time she had already left, so I wasn’t bothered.

To bring a girl to Europe is an investment. Everything costs you double. Your girlfriend will arrive with almost nothing, so you have to buy her everything again. She left a full wardrobe behind 10 pairs of shoes and boots, dresses, jeans, boots, beautiful expensive clothes, and so on. Upon arriving in Europe, you have to sign documents that state you promise to take care of all of her financial needs for at least a year. At least I didn’t lose everything as I had an agreement in place, or I would now be very poor. Her family had supposedly been taking care of our business in Pattaya. I checked my wife hadn’t read an email in over 6 months. My conclusion is that I have learned a tough lesson. Seriously, get an agreement in place. It’s the best advice I can offer.

Story 5 The Tequila Warning

I have been located in Asia since the early ’90s and made my first trip to Thailand in 1991. It wasn’t until the year 2000 that I took a girl out of a bar. It started off fairly tame but became a slippery slope, and by 2010 I was going two or three times a year for a week to 10 days to Thailand. During my stays, I would take a different girl out of the bar most nights. I rarely took the same girl twice as I was not really interested in a short term girlfriend experience while on holiday. I should mention that I am a Canadian and was a young looking guy in those days for being in my 50s. I learned to not go to the bar too late, not to drink too much, and to vet the girl before taking her out of the bar. By “vet,” I mean buy her a drink, check out her English, and more importantly check out whether there was some chemistry, some attraction, and potential for being a fun girl.

I have been with some of the most beautiful women in the world at any one point in time. After meeting a girl, I often would delay getting to the hotel so we could play a bit of pool or have a bite somewhere and have a drink to get us relaxed. The above is a background for my story. The story I want to tell is about a particular girl and what I learned from it.

This was in 2013 or so, and it was my last night in Bangkok with a flight at 9:00 a.m. the next day, so I would need to wake up at 5:00 a.m. so I wouldn’t be late for the flight. So I went to Nana Plaza to Rainbow 1, and it was fairly early. I met a beautiful girl that I quite liked. We left, and she wanted to visit another bar before heading to my hotel. I said okay, and we went to Rainbow 4.

She wanted to do a tequila shot, and I said okay. And then she had another, and maybe one more. I was wondering if this was a good idea but decided to trust that she knew how much alcohol was good for her. She hadn’t seemed drunk when we left Rainbow 1, but she was pretty wobbly now.

We took a taxi to my hotel, and we were rolling around a bit as she had been dancing. She asked me if she could use a shower, and I said yes, of course, no problem. She suddenly slips and hits the back of her head on the tub and starts moaning, and there is some blood oozing out of her hair. I get her into the room, apply pressure to her head, and suddenly she’s out like a light. I shake her a bit, and she won’t wake up. I sat back and thought about the situation. I could have a passed out girl in my room, or I could have a dead girl on my hands. I have to head to the airport in a few hours. Not good. What do I do?

She was breathing slow and lightly, and so I just waited it out. To make a long story short, she woke up and was a bit grumpy about her head, but she was very professional about it all if you can catch my drift. Boy, was I glad to see her walk out of that room. Moral of the story? Yeah, a bit of alcohol can help them loosen up and enjoy the experience, but when you don’t know how much they have had to drink before you meet them or know how well they know their own tolerance for alcohol, best to err on the side of caution. I won’t make those mistakes again but maybe some new ones, I suppose.