Love from Singapore and Thailand

I had just finished a long day at work and decided to treat myself to a walk by the Singapore River and have a drink at a well known bridge at Clarke Quay. This bridge is a popular hangout with younger crowds and people who generally don’t want to pay for the overpriced drinks in the pubs and clubs in the area.

There I was in the muggy evening air. I strolled into the nearby 7 Eleven to get a drink ice cold water as I did not drink alcohol at the time. Meandering over to the foot of the bridge, I found a quieter spot to sit and started enjoying people watching.

From the corner of my eye, I caught two young Filipinas done up for a night out on the town. They approached with big, beautiful smiles and asked if I could assist them. I could see that the two of them had just had their nails done and they didn’t want to ruin them by trying to open the cans of vodka coolers they had just purchased from 7 Eleven. I happily obliged them.

From there, we hit it off and made small talk. The night went on full of laughter and conversation. They were so carefree, it seemed, and it made getting to know them easy. Neither Veronica nor I recall how that night ended, but we both remember it was us going our separate ways.

Fate Intervenes on Orchard Road

Weeks went by and I couldn’t stop thinking of them. But as fate would have it, I was walking on Orchard Road, Singapore’s premier shopping district, when I noticed curly brown hair (neatly down to the knees) bobbing in front of me. It was the ladies from that fateful night on the bridge.

I quickly tiptoed up behind them like a cartoon villain and started talking about them in ways that would make them blush. They abruptly spun around with wide smiles, and then a look of shock and amazement came over their faces. We all started laughing and carried on together as if the night on the bridge was just yesterday.

After this meeting, we decided to stay in touch because we had the same days off work, and we would run into each other once or twice a month usually by chance.

The First Crack in Veronica’s Armor

On one of these occasions, the girls invited me to stay over at their place as I had missed my last train. We took a taxi together to their apartment and continued to hang out throughout the wee hours of the night. When it was time to get ready for bed, I just took a small mattress on the floor and woke up in the morning with Veronica beside me. It will be hard for your listeners to believe it, but nothing happened between any of us.

It was on this day in the early morning hours that I would see cracks in Veronica’s emotional armor and a different person to who she portrayed herself to be. We hopped on the bus together, Veronica at the window and me at the aisle. Veronica wasn’t really there, though gazing dead eyed out of the window. She seemed to be off somewhere vacant in the way an abandoned house feels as you drive past without any care in the world.

I saw that in her in that moment, and my heart felt for her. The white knight in me ignited, but it wasn’t my place to do anything for her. Unknowingly, that would be the last time I would see her for nearly a year and a half.

MJ’s Departure and a Spark of Hope

Around 2012, I moved back to Canada to further my qualifications. When I returned to work in Singapore about 4 months later, I was fortunate enough to come across MJ while being out for a walk downtown. She dreamed of moving to Germany as she had met a man from there who accepted her son.

In our last meetup, she told me about how her and her son along with her German fiancé would be moving to Germany at the end of the month. It’s always sad in places like Singapore, especially for expats who stay long enough. You usually lose all your friends, not all at once, but slowly over time.

With MJ in the rear view mirror waving goodbye, she did something small that would spark the flame of a love so deep and burning with passion that she would feel the flames all the way to Germany. Knowing Veronica had been split up for the past 6 months or so, she mentioned to her that I was a good friend to MJ and that I could also be a good friend to Veronica.

The Kiss That Changed Everything

At this time, I was very miserable emotionally. Veronica, Marco, and I were still meeting up once a week to hang out as friends. But I was beginning to sense tension with Veronica and I the kind of tension that makes beautiful music out of laughter and your heart well up and flutter as if worms are gently eating your heart. We felt it, but neither of us wanted to rush into anything.

Soon, six months had passed in the blink of an eye. Despite me having no intentions of moving in that direction, I was blowing on cold milk, as the old Turkish saying goes. Then one balmy evening, after Veronica and I had taken the bus to her side of town and talked so late that I missed my last bus home, my taxi pulled up. I reached for the handle. Veronica grabbed my hand and pulled me back and planted a most welcome and heartwarming kiss. Not long, just enough to say it’s time.

From there, it is hard to believe we continued to take things slowly. But we did. We were both enjoying each other’s company regardless of the physical, and it gave us time to see if we really got along well not allowing lust to dictate a path to destructive behaviors.

Setting Boundaries and Building Trust

With a girl as beautiful as my wife, as you can imagine, a lot of men would give her attention. I requested that she delete every contact of every man that was not a family member. I explained that we cannot start any relationship on a shaky foundation. It was very difficult for her there was a sense of security knowing she could jump ship at any moment. I refused and told her if you cannot do it of your own free will, then we can’t move forward.

With that out of the way, we worked hard to improve our communication. We moved into a place on the east coast, and again we worked on communication. Veronica struggled with feelings of abandonment from her childhood. This would cause turbulence from time to time, especially when I wanted or needed time to myself. It was hard for her to communicate her emotions, and they often came out in fiery bursts.

When these episodes did arise, I met them with gentleness and calm, and she really appreciated this. As a good man, it is up to us to be the calm cove when their ship is being rocked by a sea of emotion. They will appreciate you for that.

Happily Ever After

Since those days, Veronica and I have constantly worked on having solid communication. Veronica has also been going to therapy for a couple of years now and has worked on her abandonment issues. Because of this, our relationship has continued to blossom. We moved back to Canada in 2017, and Veronica is now a Canadian citizen. When you find a partner who is willing to row the boat with you, you will both go far. But if only one person is rowing, you’ll just be stuck in circles.

Our relationship is far from perfect, but getting closer to it every day. After 12 years, we have developed a considerate, loving, and thoughtful partnership. The haters are going to hate. My wife and I are currently on a plane headed to Mexico to have a full on marriage ceremony.

Peter’s Take on Dating Apps and Boundaries

I agree with him entirely. Guys who come out here to Thailand he’s talking about Singapore, but I guess it’s true wherever you are in the world. If you meet a woman and she’s been on a few dating sites and you get into a serious relationship, I think it’s fundamental that you’ve really got to get her to delete all of those dating sites.

When I met my girlfriend, I met her on Tinder. I had a look at her phone when she was in the shower a little bit naughty, I know. I was the only one on that Tinder profile that she’d actually responded to. At the start of our relationship, she was getting guys contacting her because she was still on Tinder, but she would show me. In the end, we both agreed we’ve got to both delete our Tinder accounts, Bumble, whatever we’re on. That way, nobody’s going to contact her and nobody’s going to contact me. You don’t want guys contacting your girlfriend.

Okay. Right.

Story 2 From Alaska’s Frozen Tundra to Thailand’s Jungle Heat A Soldier’s Tale

Life in Alaska: Minus 40° and Total Darkness

I’m a 24 year old army veteran and I’ve been to a lot of places in uniform deserts, mountains, jungles, frozen tundra. But one experience stands out more than most. It happened around 1998 when I was stationed in Alaska. And not postcard Alaska. I’m talking minus 40°. The kind of cold where the air hurts your face and your eyelashes try to freeze together. And you learn very quickly not to touch bare metal unless you’re willing to leave a layer of skin behind.

Winter up there is also dark for long stretches. Not dramatic misery, just long gray days where daylight is short and forgettable. You wake up in the dark, work in the dark, and come home in the dark. And after a while, everything feels quiet, muted, and restrained.

Bringing Female Soldiers into the Platoon

When I first arrived in Alaska, I was assigned to an airborne support platoon, and at that time, the platoon was all male. Based on my experience, I immediately knew that was a problem. Our mission involved working with local populations, searches, and security tasks situations where female soldiers weren’t optional, they were necessary.

The Sergeant Major saw females inbound on the roster and I’m convinced some kind of internal alarm system went off. He stared at me and said, “This is an airborne unit. You can’t have females here.” I explained the mission requirement. He didn’t like it, but he listened. And even though he didn’t agree with it, he let it happen because he knew it was the right thing to do.

When the two female soldiers finally arrived, they turned out to be outstanding. Physically strong, mentally tough, disciplined, motivated exactly who you’d want beside you.

Thailand: Stepping into Full Color

The transition from Alaska to Thailand felt unreal. We left a place that was cold, gray, and quiet, and landed somewhere that felt like every sense had been turned up at once. Thailand wasn’t just warmer. It was brighter, louder, more alive. The light was intense. You could smell spices, fuel, jungle, food cooking somewhere nearby. The humidity wrapped around you the second you stepped off the plane.

It felt like stepping out of black and white and into full color.

The Snake, The Urine, and The Thai Sergeant

We started training with the Thai military, and I’ll admit I didn’t know what to expect. But it didn’t take long to realize they were tough as nails and just a little bit crazy in the best possible way.

One Thai sergeant gathered us up to talk about survival and hydration and explained that if you can’t find water, you improvise. Then he pulled out a snake, cut its head off, drained the blood into a cup, drank it, and then without hesitation peed into the same cup and drank that too, calmly explaining you could do it a couple of times before it became too toxic to drink. Every American standing there had the same thought: and we complain when our bottled water isn’t cold enough.

The Boxing Match

At one point, the Thai military suggested a friendly boxing challenge. The Thai fighter came out wearing traditional garments a headband and armbands calm, focused, ceremonial. Our guy walked out built like a refrigerator with fists. The Thai fighter was half his size. So we almost felt bad for him. Until the fight started.

First round was even. Second round still even. Then it became clear the Thai fighter had just been warming up and holding back. Third round: fists flying, feet flying, speed, precision, violence with manners. Our guy folded like a lawn chair at a family barbecue while the Thai fighter barely looked winded. They beat us, but they beat us politely.

Earning the Thai Jump Wings

At the end of training, we got to do something special: a Thai airborne jump to earn their jump wings huge wings with an elephant, easily the biggest jump wings you can earn. That meant sitting inside a Thai aircraft on the runway for a couple of hours with the doors closed and no air conditioning. From Alaska to Thailand, we weren’t sitting in airplanes anymore. We were slow roasting. It felt like someone set the oven to chicken and forgot about us.

Once airborne, the doors opened, air rushed in, and life returned to our bodies. We secured an airfield and immediately stepped off on a road march of at least 10 miles carrying full combat gear. Infantry soldiers were dropping left and right from heat exhaustion. Then the Sergeant Major’s eyes landed on my platoon specifically my two female soldiers. Both about 5’3″, both assigned as primary machine gunners and carrying heavier weapons than most of the men. They never slowed down. He watched them, looked at me, shook his head, and nodded. He finally got it.

I earned my Thai jump wings that day, and I still have them.

The Cashew Nut Reality Check

Later, we were offered a moral welfare and recreation trip to Phuket and James Bond Island. On the drive, the bus suddenly stopped and we were politely but firmly ushered into a Thai jewelry store. After listening to your channel, Peter, I now know all about jewelry store scams. But somehow I walked out with a ruby ring that later appraised for more than I paid. I escaped Thailand without getting scammed.

The bus also stopped at what was advertised as a local cashew nut farm. Inside the facility were rows of women seated at simple workstations, cracking cashews open one by one. No machines, no automation, just hands, tools, repetition, and time. Their hands were stained dark from the sap, permanently marked by the work.

Watching them work made me realize something I’d never once thought about back home. Every time I casually grab a handful of cashew nuts, someone somewhere worked far harder than I ever imagined just so I could snack without thinking. I stood there doing the math in my head. How many cashew nuts have I eaten in my life? How little effort I put into it and how much effort they had to put in for every single one. It was humbling.

Ladyboys and A Nipple Bite

First stop in Phuket was a legitimate Thai massage where a tiny woman twisted me into shapes. My spine still hasn’t forgotten her. After the massage, we walked around town admiring the nightlife. For a while, we were checking out how incredibly beautiful the women were. Then it hit us. We were in the wrong area. They weren’t women. They were ladyboys. We moved on immediately. No judgment, just not our thing.

Later, we ended up in a bar. While waiting for my buddy who had gone to an ATM, one of the girls Poh harbored me. I had a tank top on, and she leaned over and bit me right on the nipple. Intense pain. I did not cry. I did not strike her. But my soul left my body for a second.

Almost an hour later, my buddy came running back into the bar, breathing hard and sweating. He told me that after the ATM, he followed a woman back to her place, and when it came time to pay, she demanded more money than he had agreed. Then two Thai guys showed up. That’s when he ran full sprint, streets, alleys, obstacles, escape. Once I realized he was alive, we called it a night.

Final Reflections

Thailand was beautiful. The people were kind, welcoming, and unforgettable. The culture, food, and scenery were incredible. I’ve been to a lot of places in the military, but Thailand stands out, especially considering I only had a couple of days to experience it.

One day, I hope to come back to Thailand not on a training mission, not on borrowed time, but on a real vacation.