The Kindness of a Thai Bar Girl

Normally, when returning from Thailand to the UK, one of the first things I do is book my flights back out for the start of the autumn season in Thailand. However, when I returned in spring 2026, unfortunately, due to the troubles in the Middle East, flight costs had gone crazy.

I checked Thai Airways and the flights had more than doubled in price. I was gutted. I love Thai Airways because as soon as I get on board, even queuing up with all the Thais and farangs at Heathrow for check-in, I feel like my holiday has started.

Hearing the Thai voices and seeing the smiles of Thai passengers at check-in and boarding are all part of the excitement. I walk down the boarding passage onto the plane, see the flight attendants in their traditional Thai uniforms, and I’m greeted with a wai and a smile. It’s just incredible. The traditional Thai music playing in the cabin as I look for my seat is all part of the excitement of the journey.

I wait for takeoff, feeling the thrust of the engines as the plane accelerates down the runway, just waiting for that second when you realize you’re airborne and on your way to Thailand. Then you sit back on the evening flight, enjoy your first Singha beer, and it truly feels like you’re almost already in Thailand. As I chat with others on the plane about plans and past experiences whilst drinking an ice-cold Singha, it doesn’t get much better.

Unfortunately, owing to the cost of flights in the spring, I chose a different route to Thailand this year, opting for a cheaper flight from Heathrow to China and then 6 hours later, another flight from China to Bangkok. Sadly, these flights definitely didn’t give me the same buzz or excitement as the Thai Airways flights do. They were a drag rather than an exciting part of the holiday experience.

The other difference with not taking the Thai Airways evening flight and instead opting to travel via China was that the flight didn’t land in Bangkok until after midnight. So, after clearing Thai immigration, it meant that the MRT and the BTS were well and truly closed for the night and wouldn’t reopen until around 5:00 a.m. with the first train out of the airport not leaving until 5:30 a.m.

So, I arrived at Suvarnabhumi Airport on Thursday, 24th of September in the very early hours at about 1:00 a.m. I made my way down to the basement level of Suvarnabhumi Airport, waiting for hours for the train station to open so I could get to Makkasan, then transfer to Phetchaburi and continue on to Bang Sue to catch the first morning train down to Hua Hin.

I knew only too well that if I missed this 7:30 train from Bang Sue, it would be about another 10 hours before the next train down to Hua Hin. So I made my way to the basement along with other travelers waiting for that first train out in the morning.

I opened my case and started sorting out the contents that had shifted during the journey. Whilst looking for a change of clothes, I looked around; there were various travelers sleeping on seats while others like me were wide awake. All of us were waiting for the station to open at 5:30 in the morning before continuing our journey.

An Empty Suitcase and a Request for Airfare

I’d been there about half an hour when I noticed an Asian man walking towards the row of five seats where I was sitting. He had got up from another set of seats about 15 meters away and my first thought was why is he heading in my direction? There’s no reason for him to come over here other than to try some sort of a scam. So, my guard was immediately up.

He was pushing a dark gray metallic carry-on suitcase with four caster wheels. What I noticed was the ease with which he was handling this suitcase. It was odd. It looked to me as though the case was empty. Another red flag. I had just spent the last two days traveling, seeing people pushing these types of cases, probably with 10 to 12 kilos inside. This case was empty and clearly had very little weight to it.

Is this a stage prop? I thought to myself, as this guy homed in on me and sat down right next to me. I didn’t make eye contact, and I continued sorting my belongings. However, despite him sitting right next to me, his approach hadn’t prompted any acknowledgement from me.

I waited for the scam to begin. I didn’t have to wait more than a few seconds before his performance started. “Me so hungry,” he whined as he rubbed his belly. “Me not eating for 7 days.” I turned my head and I glanced at him. He didn’t look to me like someone who hadn’t eaten for 7 days. “I have no money,” he bleated.

I looked him in the face, then turned my head and stared down at the nearly full bottle of Singha beer he was clutching in one hand whilst holding a large unopened packet of Marlboro cigarettes in the other. For someone with no money, somehow he had found a way to get beer and cigarettes. He noticed I had spotted his bottle of beer and quickly made an excuse that a security guard had bought it for him. Yeah, total BS, I thought to myself. You’ve bought that from the 24-hour basement 7-Eleven along with those cigarettes. There was no way this clown was getting even one baht out of me.

His English was passable, although not completely fluent. I asked him, “Are you from the Philippines?” “No, me Thai,” he said. This was the sort of half-ass scam I would expect in the Philippines. “So, not the Philippines, then?” I asked again. “No, me Thai. I need to get flight from Chiang Mai. Me in Japan motorbike accident hurt my leg bad. Me have to get flight home to Chiang Mai, but me have no money for flight.”

If you’re going to run the bad leg scam, then try limping next time, I thought. Again, something about his manner reminded me of being approached like this in the Philippines. I wasn’t entirely convinced by his claims of being Thai. However, most Filipinos who speak English, even in the provinces, speak much better English than this guy, and he didn’t have a Filipino accent either. Yes, this guy was actually Thai.

The other thing that initially made me question whether he was Filipino was that most Filipinos are incredibly happy and sociable and could get on with just about anybody. It’s very common for them to strike up conversations with complete strangers simply because it’s in their happy natures to do so just like most Thais. They can be incredibly kind people too.

As someone once said, if Filipinos were tropical fish, you could drop them into any aquarium anywhere in the world and they would happily get on with any fish. Having spent a year living in a house in London with about 10 Filipino nurses, I would have to agree with this.

Never lend Filipinos your karaoke machine, though. Yes, they can all sing fantastically all night long. However, say goodbye to the karaoke machine. The Filipinos have it now. I learned this lesson the hard way.

Refusing the Flight Ticket Scam

Having realized this guy was actually Thai, I thought, “The money for a flight ticket scam.” So, this is where it’s going, I thought to myself, you can get a third-class train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai for about 200 baht.

I completely ignored his hard luck story. If this had happened in the UK, I would have already told this clown to f off. However, I’m not in the UK. I’m a guest in Thailand. And even though this guy is clearly trying to scam me, I’m not about to kick off with a Thai in Thailand and be rude. This would be a very bad idea, even with a scammer. Maybe something about my appearance or the fact that I was sorting out my belongings made me look like a Thailand newbie. Nope, not a Thailand newbie. So jog on, Chancer.

Then came his request. “You have money? You give me money for airfare?” I replied, “No, I have no money.” “You have money. You just arrived Thailand.” “You money?” I replied again, “No, I have no money.” “But you must have money. Come Thailand, you pay flight me,” he continued. “No money,” I said. And with that, I started writing in a small notebook and completely ignored him.

There was silence for about a minute whilst he was clearly thinking through his next move. Then came the line again. “Me so hungry, not eat seven days, no food, me hungry.” I completely ignored this and I continued writing in my notebook.

Then realizing there was no way he was going to get me to fall for the airfare scam, he changed his approach once again. “Me so hungry,” he said, rubbing his belly again. “You give me 200 baht for food.” “No,” was my reply. “You give 200 baht food,” came the demand again. “No,” yet again, was my short reply. I can say no for the next 4 hours until 5:00 in the morning, I thought to myself. He wouldn’t get one single baht out of me. “You give me 100 baht.” His price had dropped yet again. “No,” came my short reply.

He then proceeded to grab my left thigh, jabbing and squeezing my leg in various spots, clearly feeling to see if I had money or a wallet in my pocket. Jokingly, with a grin, he said, “I give you massage.” This guy was really starting to piss me off now. I grabbed his wrist, squeezed it tightly, slowly moved his hand away from my thigh, and placed it onto his own thigh. I went back to my notebook.

There was another silence, a pause of about a minute. Then he spoke. “I buy you coffee then.” “No, thank you,” came my swift reply. “I buy you food,” he said. Well, this was a loss of face for him now, offering to buy me coffee and food. Clearly, this guy wasn’t as broke as he had claimed. He then proceeded to pull a roll of Thai baht out of his pocket. He couldn’t even close his hand around the bundle of notes. “I have over 10,000 baht. See,” he exclaimed, brandishing the roll of money towards me, and waving it from side to side.

The money was most likely scammed from other travelers at the airport, possibly that very day. I looked at the roll of notes, nodded, and went back to my notebook. Then he sat there for another couple of minutes in silence before standing up and walking back to the seats from where he had come.

I sat and considered what had just occurred and the attempted scam. In some ways, this was quite a clever scam, and the location he had chosen to carry it out was in some ways genius. The basement floor of Suvarnabhumi Airport, minimal security at that time of night, and a captive audience for this scammer to prey on like some sort of parasite. Well, probably until the station opened at 5:00 in the morning. Tourists and travelers, many arriving in Thailand for the first time, flushed with cash and not even able to get out of the airport by train until 5:30. Yes, this scammer had thought it through.

I wondered how long he’d been doing this and how many times he’d run the scam. He couldn’t run it too many times without the Thai authorities picking him up. However, he’d clearly done it a good few times and was making enough money from it. Fancy being a tourist or a traveler and not even having been in the country for 30 minutes before someone tries to scam you, not even out of the airport.

The Young American Backpacker and the Footlong Sandwich

I was sitting close to an all-night Subway sandwich bar in the basement. Various travelers had been ordering whilst I was sat there waiting for the station to open. The aroma of freshly baked bread and the smell of the hot fillings was absolutely amazing. However, it was nearly 300 baht for a footlong sandwich or, alternatively, 60 baht for crispy pork and rice. Life is full of choices and I had chosen to wait.

I knew that when I arrived at Bang Sue station at about 7 in the morning, I would have just enough time to sit down in the food court and eat my favorite crispy pork and rice for just 60 baht before boarding the train to Hua Hin with a crispy pork takeaway as well. All for just 120 baht in total. Thailand really is an amazing country. The food, the Thai people, and the culture. It’s not surprising that so many people love Thailand so much. There really is no other country like it in the world.

I sat alone again on the row of five seats writing in my notebook. After some time, the beautiful aroma of delicious Subway sandwiches drifted very close to me as a young backpacker with a suitcase sat down at the opposite end of the row of seats. Wow, that footlong sandwich smelt so very good.

I thought maybe I should warn this young guy that he might get approached by the potential scammer. I looked up from my notebook only to see the same metallic dark gray suitcase, the shredded black fashion jeans of the scammer approaching very fast. In fact, he was only about 3 or 4 meters away at this point, too late to warn him now, as the scammer seconds later slammed himself down in the middle seat and immediately went to work on this young guy.

It was probably his first time in Thailand and he’d probably been in the country for less than 30 minutes since clearing immigration and this is what greeted him. It would be a baptism of fire for him. I sat and listened. Surely this young guy has the intelligence to spot this scammer. Well, I hoped he did. The same old lines came out again. “Me so hungry. Me not eating for seven days. Me have no money. Food not afford.” He said this while still clutching another large bottle of Singha in his hand.

Before I could say anything, the young guy just handed over his footlong sandwich, saying, “Please take this,” before he’d even had a chance to unwrap it and take his first bite. The speed at which the scammer moved on this young victim was disgusting. It was too late. The scammer instantly took a bite. He then proceeded to eat the entire footlong in front of his young victim, slurping and gulping down the sandwich. It almost seemed to me that he was teasing and playing with this young guy.

Having finished the sandwich, he screwed up the wrapping and just threw it on the floor. Then the flight scam started to play out again. “Me have no money. Me need to get flight Chiang Mai.” He spewed out his lies once more.

I thought after what I just watched, if this young guy looks anything like he’s going along with a scam, I’m stepping in on this one. Losing a footlong sandwich, I suppose, could be chalked up to a life lesson for this young guy. Hopefully, it would toughen him up for the next scammer.

It seemed the young American guy had learned his lesson, though. The price of this lesson was his footlong sandwich. However, as I had hoped, he had clearly learned his lesson very quickly. The young American backpacker said a firm no, packed up his belongings and left. The scammer then left too, and I was once again alone like the other travelers, waiting for the station to open a few hours later.

I did notice that by 5:00 in the morning, as the basement started to fill with people again, the night scammer had vanished. Did I get scammed and ripped off in various ways the first time I came to Thailand like this young guy? You bet I did. And it cost me more than 300 baht. However, at least most of us managed to get out of the airport first.

Story 2 Meeting My Thai Wife in Bath

It’s not a typical crash and burn story. There isn’t some dramatic beginning followed by everything gone wrong. And there isn’t a big ending where it all falls apart. If anything, it’s the opposite. It’s just a story about two people from very different backgrounds who somehow end up making a life together in England that works. Let me tell you a bit about me and my situation. I am 39 years old from southwest England and I am a partner in an engineering firm with my brother. My wife is 29 and she’s Thai Chinese from one of the suburbs of Bangkok. Her family are quite wealthy and have been involved in land, property, and business for generations.

We met in Bath, which is a town in England, when she was studying for a degree in international management at a local university. At that time, I was 30 and my wife was 20. She lived in a large apartment with two other Thai girls who were also studying at the same university. So although she was a long way from home, she had a few friends around her.

She also worked part-time in a local Thai restaurant near the center of Bath, which is where I first met her. In my 20s, I’d previously visited Thailand several times with friends, and had always loved it. I’d become particularly interested in the Sukhumvit nightlife, the great food, and of course, the beautiful and friendly Thai women who seem so easy to meet and form relationships with, even if it was just for 2 or 3 weeks.

I should probably explain that I was never really a monger. I wasn’t the type who went to Thailand specifically looking for women. But when I was single and traveling around Bangkok, I did enjoy spending time around Nana and Soi Cowboy. I found the whole area fascinating and great for a night out. It was a completely different side of Bangkok from the normal tourist stuff, and I like seeing different parts of the city.

Anyway, back to how I met my wife. The first time I saw her serving in the restaurant, I remember thinking to myself, she was absolutely stunning. She wasn’t trying to get attention or impress anyone. She had this very polite and timid manner, but I guess there was quite a strong personality underneath it. She could be really warm and friendly, but she wasn’t somebody who was just going to agree with you and keep you happy.

Naturally, I started going to the restaurant a bit more often, sometimes twice a week, just to have a little chat with her or see that beautiful smile. Looking back, I was probably acting like a stalker, but no harm done. She started to get to know me, and we would talk about my visits to Thailand. Things took a turn when she started asking if I’d had relationships with Thai girls while I was on holiday. Of course, I would deny it.

Eventually, I asked her out and she said no. A week later, I asked again and she said no again. This happened several times. I’m not sure whether she wasn’t interested or whether she was just being very careful, but she certainly wasn’t making it easy for me. Eventually, she agreed to go out with me on the understanding that a friend could come along.

Things naturally moved incredibly slowly. We started going out together and spending time talking more often, but it took months before we even had our first kiss. Looking back, I think that was probably a good thing. We had plenty of time to get to know each other without rushing into anything.

After a few months, the barriers finally came down and things were very different. The chemistry between us was pretty good and the relationship suddenly started moving a lot faster. She began staying over at my house and let’s just say the aerobics were sensational and frequent.

As I mentioned, I already knew Thailand reasonably well, which I think helped. I had traveled around the country, spent quite a lot of time in Bangkok, and visited places that most tourists never really see, but knowing Thailand as a two-week tourist is one thing. Becoming involved with a Thai girl is something completely different, and I found that out fairly quickly.

Marriage and Our Beautiful Twins

Initially, her family weren’t very happy. They found out she was seeing a foreigner. I did understand why. I wasn’t Thai, and they didn’t know my family or where I’d come from. I didn’t have the same background or connections that they did. From their point of view, I was just some farang who had appeared in their daughter’s life while she was studying in England.

There was also the 10-year age difference which didn’t exactly help. They were polite to me, but there was definitely quite a bit of resentment at first. To be honest, I don’t think I’d have been completely relaxed about it either if I’d had a daughter studying thousands of miles from home who suddenly told me she was seriously seeing somebody 10 years older from a completely different country and culture.

My wife though wasn’t particularly bothered by any of it. She understood where her family were coming from, but she also understood me. I think that’s one of the things I liked about her.

Eventually, after 3 years, we got married. The entire proposal, engagement, and marriage situation was fairly stressful, and you can imagine her family weren’t happy about it and wanted full control. I could write an entire story about that chapter of our relationship.

One thing I would like to add is that there was no sin sod. In fact, her family paid for everything. All I had to do was turn up and shut up.

After another 18 months, our beautiful twins came along. That was the turning point with her family, I think. They are both doing really well at school and are happy, confident kids.

They have had the slightly unusual experience of growing up with two cultures around them all the time. Thai wasn’t just something that came out when we visited Thailand. It became part of our normal life at home.

Learning Thai and Family Meals in Bangkok

After the kids were born, I decided to learn Thai properly. And over about 2 years, I got to the point where I could actually hold a decent conversation and think in Thai.

It wasn’t easy. There were plenty of times when I wondered why I’d made life so difficult for myself. The tones were pretty hard. The sentence structure was completely different. And there were times when I knew exactly what I wanted to say in English, but couldn’t work out how to say it in Thai.

Eventually, something clicked. I stopped translating every word in my head and started understanding what people were actually saying.

One of the biggest steps for me was being able to sit around a table with my wife’s family and follow their conversation without constantly needing someone to explain what was being said.

I think that also changed things with her family. There wasn’t some big moment where everyone suddenly decided they liked me. It happened gradually. Every holiday I kept turning up. I learned more of the language. I respected their traditions. I looked after their daughter. And eventually, I became a great father to their grandchildren. I traveled to Thailand with them, sat through countless large family meals, and learned which relatives were going to ask awkward questions and which ones were just going to keep putting more food on my plate.

My wife’s social circle in England is interesting as well. She has quite a few Thai friends, and they aren’t all from the same sort of background. There is what you might call the English-based hi-so Thai crowd. Many of them come from wealthy Thai Chinese families and are married to Chinese, Singaporean or Hong Kong men. They tend to have comfortable lives and maintain frequent connections with Thailand with lots of their social life revolving around restaurants, travel, family, business, and the Thai community.

Then there is another group she knows through temples, Thai food events, and other Thai community activities. Their circumstances can be very different. Most are married to older Western mongers, often divorced men, and there is quite a lot of drama around some of the relationships and marriages.

My wife has never really been interested in that side of things. She doesn’t drink, smoke, or play cards, and she’s never been particularly interested in getting involved with the usual Thai drama.

Over the years, she’s told me stories about Thai women she knew who had relationships outside their marriages, sometimes with more than one man. I am also aware of more than one woman who I suspect is an ex-bar girl who supplements her income by working in a local massage parlor. As far as I know, her husband who works offshore isn’t aware.

Our Marriage and Two Cultures

Anyway, my wife still goes back to Thailand several times a year. Her family are there, she has friends there, and there are also business reasons for her to go back. She enjoys being there and the kids love going, too. So, quite often she takes them with her. I’ve got used to them going without me. And to be honest, I actually enjoy having some time to myself when they’re away.

That brings me back to how unusual our life probably looks from the outside. I have a Thai wife who grew up in a very different world from me. Two children who are growing up speaking both English and Thai and a second family of sorts on the other side of the world. And then there’s me sitting at a family table in Bangkok speaking Thai to relatives who when they first met me weren’t particularly sure about this English guy who had turned up in their daughter’s life.

Our marriage isn’t perfect. Obviously it isn’t. We have cultural differences and we don’t always agree about money, family, parenting or how things should be done. Sometimes we look at exactly the same situation and come to completely different conclusions.

Another thing is that I feel pretty unwanted at times when our Thai family get together. I get it. I am a farang and will never be fully accepted. This works in my favor, however, as I’ll fly down to Phuket myself for a long weekend and immerse myself in the Bangla Road party scene, if you know what I mean.

And then there is the subject of money, which once again I could write an entire story about. Suffice to say, it’s quite a private topic with her. I assume she is involved in several family businesses, but I am not allowed any access to this side of her life and I don’t ask.

On the whole though, it works. And I think one of the reasons it works is that neither of us has ever tried to turn the other person into something they aren’t. She hasn’t become English and I haven’t become Thai. We’ve just ended up somewhere in the middle. We have adapted well together and respect our own traditions and cultures.

When I think about how unlikely it probably looked when we first met, it’s quite funny. An English guy in his 30s getting involved with a Thai university student from a wealthy Bangkok family isn’t exactly the obvious combination.

Story 3 The Kindness of a Thai Bar Girl

Early one evening, I was walking around Pattaya when I decided to get some street food.

The lady was cooking everything to order and it wasn’t just sitting out in the open. I ordered some chicken and rice and I asked for it not to be spicy. Back home, the spiciest thing I will order is a chicken korma. The food was cheap, tasty, and delicious, but it was spicy. Well, to me anyway.

I should explain that my stomach doesn’t handle hot and spicy food very well. I started coughing and getting bad heartburn and acid reflux. I decided that a few ice-cold Changs might settle things down.

I went to a gentleman’s club on Soi Pothole where I’d been a few times during my visit. I sat down with a lady whom I’d seen on previous visits. She commented that I didn’t look well, so I told her about the street food and my lack of tolerance for spicy food. She just laughed.

Over the next 30 minutes, the heartburn and reflux got worse, resulting in several trips to the toilet to be sick.

When I returned from one of these trips, the lady I was with had gone. I thought, who would want to spend time with someone being sick?

Anyway, she reappeared with a bag. She had been to the local pharmacy and bought me some medication. I drank some heartburn medicine straight from the bottle.

Another 30 minutes passed and I was okay. The lady would not accept any payment for the medication, nor did she have to leave the club to help a stranger. But I’m very glad she did.

I did take her out of the club and treated her well as a way of saying thanks. I told the mamasan that she had a little treasure working for her.

Story 4 The Night the Bar Security Came to My Rescue

I found a bar near Walking Street that had a pool table. The girls were good-looking, great fun, and not pushy about getting customers to buy them drinks.

I visited several times during my trip, played pool with the girls, the security guard, and even the mamasan. I bought the girls and other staff drinks without acting like a two-week millionaire. Each time I visited, the girls screamed with excitement, and I felt like I was being treated like a king.

One night when I visited, I was the only Westerner in the bar. There was a group of around eight men from another country that many Thais do not like. They were being loud, obnoxious, and demanding attention. Yet, they didn’t seem to be spending much money.

Some of the girls left them and came over to me. I was sitting with around three girls. I bought drinks. The girls were chatting and laughing away and we played some pool.

Now, this seemed to annoy the other group of men. They started shouting at me in their own language along with a few swear words in broken English. Initially, I ignored it, but as time went on, it got harder.

One of the group approached us and accused me of stealing his girl. I tried to deescalate the situation with humor, and I even offered him a drink. This just seemed to enrage him further.

By this time, security had noticed, as had other members of staff, and they tried to calm it down. The rest of his group came over and I thought, I’m one person and I’ll probably get a good kicking.

The next thing that happened was amazing, a bit like the cavalry arriving in a Western. Suddenly, the security guard was joined by security staff from neighboring bars, and they formed a shield between me and the group of men. I won’t lie, it was thrilling and scary at the same time.

I spoke to one of the girls and suggested that I leave through the back door and go elsewhere as I didn’t want any trouble. I left through the rear of the bar quickly, caught a baht bus and disappeared to another area of town.

I went back the following night and left a very generous tip for the security guy who along with other security guards probably saved me from a good hiding.