Why You Have to Go to Thailand for an Unforgettable Experience
Why My Friend Said I Had to Go to Thailand
“You have to go to Thailand,” my friend told me. He just got back from his summer holidays, and it seemed like he’d found his new favorite place. Those were the first words he spoke when he came over to mine after he got back. He started talking about his exploits, the luxury hotel he stayed at for 20 quid a night, the cheap beer he drank at the best bars the world had ever known. But most of all, Thailand was home to the most beautiful girls he had ever laid his eyes on.
It all sounded like he was trying to sell me something. I was trying to find out what his angle was. I didn’t think it was possible that someone could be so enthusiastic about a country. I looked at him like he was not sharing the full side of the story. And I just said, “Oh yeah, what’s the catch?”
He knew me very well, saying, “I knew you’d say that, but the thing is there is no catch. It’s heaven on earth. There’s no place I would rather go and no place I would rather be than the bars of Pattaya.”
We ended the conversation, but the words he had shared were now emblazoned in my mind.
How His Thailand Obsession Began
He called me the following day, talking about how much he missed Thailand. He met a girl there, said it made his old girlfriend look crude in comparison. He really did seem to be missing Thailand, but I wasn’t yet aware of just how much it had taken hold of him.
The next time we met up about a week later, he seemed to have lost about a stone in weight. He said he hadn’t eaten since he got back. He’d just been drinking water completely lost his appetite. And he started talking about Thailand again, saying how he’d wake up in the mornings, he’d leave his hotel and go for a walk around a place so unrecognizable for someone who had never been there. He’d go for breakfast and spend £1.50 for a full English. He’d go and spend 70p for a beer in a bar where he was able to talk to girls who at home would be far out of his league. But in Thailand, it was a situation where he was out of their league. But he didn’t care because they were beautiful and everything he dreamed of.
He talked about how after having a few late morning drinks, he’d go back to the hotel and swim in the pool before heading out again for lunch. This time he went for Thai food maybe on the street and he’d sit on the corner looking at all the girls walking by. He’d then go and join them in the bars, more drinks before dinner in the evening, and his pick of the girls. He said he was spending about 50 quid a day, not including the hotel.
The situation he was in back at home made him feel like a different person. He was nervous. He was jittery, like a fish out of water, and he wanted to go back. Then he asked me to go with him.
Why I Agreed to Return to Thailand
I wasn’t about to fly all the way to Thailand just so he could go and relive some fantasy. Everything he spoke about sounded like it was an exaggeration. He was looking at it from his perspective, from his angle, and he wasn’t clear enough with me about what he actually thought it was going to be like for a second time. He wasn’t clear headed enough to understand that there was something else going on. Perhaps what he was saying was real, but it can’t be as good as he claimed it to be.
He wouldn’t leave his house. He said everything wasn’t the same anymore. He stopped going to work. He lost his job. He was eating into his savings, covering his rent and bills. And I just hoped he’d be able to snap out of it. He just kept saying Thailand was calling. Thailand was reaching out to him, saying, “I’m here. Come and enjoy me.” And that’s all he wanted to do.
Watching My Friend Deteriorate After Thailand
I tried calling him the next few days, but he didn’t answer. So, I went round to his house, and he was just laying there in a daze watching the TV, trying to find anything to watch that would somehow get him back to Thailand, even if only in mind. Travel shows were what he watched. And I even went this time and saw him shouting at the top of his voice at the TV when the travel show that evening showed a holiday in France. “How was that possible?” he said. “That’s not acceptable. They should show holidays about Thailand.”
I thought he needed to seek professional help, but I hoped he’d get out of it. He turned to me and said, “I need to get back to Thailand. Come with me.” I told him if I could get some time off work, I would. I was starting to get intrigued. Perhaps he was just imagining how good it was. Perhaps he overhyped it and it wasn’t going to be as good as he thought, but I was starting to think that I needed to go and have a look with him.
I went to work the following day and hadn’t taken any holidays yet that year, and I said, “I need two full weeks. When is the soonest I can have it?” They were quite lenient and just said, “Give us a week’s notice and you’re good.”
I went back to my friend’s house that evening. He was still on the sofa, empty crisp packets strewn around. At least he’d started eating again, but there were also discarded beer cans all over the floor. It seemed he’d been drinking heavily to try to get himself somehow back to Thailand, even if only in his dreams.
I told him, “I’m ready to go, and I can go next week.” He stood up wide-eyed and said, “I don’t have any money to go.” And he slumped back down into the sofa, a look of desperation on his face. But then he stood up again saying, “I’ve got my credit card. I could get two weeks out of that maybe more.”
Booking a Second Trip to Thailand
That was when I thought he must be really desperate. He was my friend, but who was I to tell him not to use his credit card? Perhaps going again would remove these feelings he was having. Perhaps he would see Thailand was really just a country. And perhaps when he returned, he’d be able to get back into living a normal life.
I asked him if he was sure, and he said yes. So we booked tickets to go on the coming Saturday for two weeks. As soon as those tickets were booked, he changed almost like a druggie who had just had his latest fix. His face lightened up. The look of distress was starting to change to a look of hope and excitement.
I left for my house and was looking forward to seeing exactly what Thailand was all about.
More Signs of His Thailand Obsession
I got on with getting through that week at work, and my friend was still not working. I hoped when we got back after the holiday he’d be able to find a new job. He was just living Thailand in his mind. I went round on the Wednesday and all the lights were off. Some of the pictures he’d taken when he was there last time he had pinned onto the wall behind the TV so when he was watching TV he could glance up and see. He had a lamp shining on them. But aside from that, it was pitch black inside the room.
I was thinking that he must have been having a nervous breakdown or a mental breakdown or something. This was not normal behavior. I should also mention that he hadn’t shaved, hadn’t even showered it seemed, or had a haircut. He was just wearing one of those white vests, which wasn’t looking white anymore, and he looked very disheveled. He was as thin as a stick.
He was looking excited, though. But then he said, “What happens when those two weeks finish?” I laughed at him. Then he said that, but I could tell he was serious. And I told him, “Usually when you go somewhere for a second time, you start to understand that what you saw the first time were just your first impressions. Second impressions are often not as good.” I convinced him that that was the case, and he nodded his head. And I told him I’d come and pick him up on Saturday morning to go to the airport. And I told him, “Make sure you’re presentable.”
I pulled up in my car on the Saturday morning, turned off the engine, and I was just about to open the door and knock on his door. But it swung open. My friend was back. He was looking a lot more presentable, and he was rubbing his hands together as he sat in the passenger seat next to me.
Getting Ready to Fly Back to Thailand
“Thailand you’re going to love it.” He kept telling me. He kept telling me to be careful. Don’t let Thailand grab hold of you. He told me that. How odd Thailand seemed to have grabbed hold of him. “That’s all that mattered,” he said. I told him that’s nothing to worry about. I’m not going to be like that. He looked at me with a really strong look as if to say, “Don’t talk such sacrilege.”
“Thailand is like nothing you have ever seen,” he kept saying. “It will change your life forever. Your old life will become meaningless, boring, and pointless.” He sounded so dramatic when he was saying that. I couldn’t help but laugh. But when I started to laugh, he shouted, “Just you wait and see. Just you wait and see.”
It almost felt like after he said that, there should have been that music that plays in films to heighten the dramatic effect.
Flying to Thailand for the First Time
We got to the airport, and he’s guiding me like I’m an imbecile. “You have to do this. We need to get a trolley and put our bags on it. We need to walk over to the check-in desk and check in. Then you put your bags on. Then you show them your return ticket so they know you’re coming back and we can get through.” I allowed him to feel like he was in control. Even though I’d been on lots of flights before, for some reason, he thought flying to Thailand was a unique experience.
I distinctly remember seeing him look at the people in the next check-in lane for a different flight to the Algarve in Portugal. He started chuckling to himself and he turned to me and said, “Idiots. They have no idea.” I took offense to that. I love the Algarve. But he said, “In the next two days, you will think no more about the Algarve. Thailand is all you will care about, and all your world will revolve around.”
I thought he was being overdramatic when he said that. How was it possible that a country in Asia would change my life in a way like I could not even imagine? As far as I was concerned, he was just not in a fit state mentally unstable. Perhaps Thailand was as good as he said it was, but perhaps that’s only for him. Perhaps that’s something about his character that caused him to have these feelings. I doubted I would be in the same boat.
We went through security and we still had 2 hours to wait before the plane was due to take off. We went for something to eat. My friend is literally skipping about. Seeing a grown man skip across an airport is a sight to behold. And then we went to a bar in the airport and had a few very expensive beers. Again, my friend is laughing at the price of beer, saying it’s completely ridiculous. The prices in Thailand were so cheap, it made it feel like they might as well be free. He just wouldn’t shut up about Thailand.
We eventually boarded the plane and we took off for the 7 hour flight to Qatar. That was where we were going to be changing planes. The first flight seemed to go quickly. My friend was still not shutting up about Thailand. He heard two guys in the row next to us talking about Thailand, and he stood up straight away and went to talk to them. And they’re talking about all the things they’d done in Thailand before. It was like a little club some kind of club that if you didn’t know about, you were regarded as being unenlightened.
The second flight, however, seemed to drag on. It was slightly shorter than the first one about 6 hours but it felt longer. An hour or so into that flight, I was already ready to be there. There was a Thai air hostess working, and he was speaking to her in the Thai he learned in the last trip. He seemed to be speaking it very badly, but he felt so proud of himself. She seemed to be a bit uncomfortable.
Arriving in Pattaya in 2006
We got there, and my friend is acting like a child that’s just received a brand new bicycle. He said we needed to get a taxi now to Pattaya. We hadn’t booked any hotels. My friend said that only idiots book hotels. You can just go and check into one when you’re there. A lot better, he said. When he told me that the taxi to Pattaya was going to be about 2 hours, I said, “Why don’t we stay in Bangkok?” “Pattaya is better,” he said. “Okay, then let’s just go.”
So, we went through immigration, picked up the bags, went through customs, and we were in Thailand. My friend is ecstatic. He seems to be the person I remembered, the person I knew all those years. I had him back, and it was only because we were in Thailand. We found a taxi at the airport and we went to Pattaya.
This was 2006 and it would be the year that both our lives changed forever.
As I sat in the taxi asking my friend to maybe stop talking about Thailand for a while because we’re already here, I’m starting to actually think: what happens if what he’s saying is true? My friend had built this picture about Thailand. What happens if it’s exactly like he says it is? Am I going to get sucked in? Am I going to lose control? Am I going to be a shaking wreck who will have to leave my job because I wasn’t able to function anymore because I missed Thailand?
I started actually laughing at myself when I was thinking about that. I didn’t think it was possible that a place, a country, could do that to you. Who in their right mind would have thought that something like that was possible?
Checking Into a Pattaya Hotel
We got to Pattaya finally, and my friend jumps out of the taxi before it barely came to a stop. He seemed to have a sense of urgency like we can’t waste even a single minute. He almost throws the money at the taxi driver. Not in a disrespectful way, but just like, “Here, take it. Keep the change. We need to go.” He grabbed the bags out of the boot of the taxi, gives me mine, and took his. And he physically ran inside the hotel. It was the one he was staying at before, and he said, “Two rooms.”
They asked for the passports. Those are handed over. And he’s restless. He’s moving from one foot to the other, kind of like he wants to walk somewhere. It’s all he’s talking about. “Why is it taking a long time?” he said. “Hurry up,” he kept saying. And the receptionist just looks up at him and smiles.
Finally, we get the keys and he grabs them out of the receptionist’s hand. “That extra second he managed to save by doing so would be worth a lifetime in England,” he said. That’s what he said to me. Unbelievable, I know.
“How about I’ll meet you down here in 2 hours?” I said. “Let’s freshen up, have a bit of a rest, and then you can show me what Thailand is all about.” He looked at me like I had a problem like I was being somehow disrespectful. “2 hours?” he said. “If it takes you 2 hours to come down, I’m not going to be here. Who do you think you are?”
I actually started bursting out laughing when he said that. And then I think he understood how crazy he was being and he started to laugh as well. But he did say, “You’ve got 15 minutes. Take it or leave it.” Looks like I didn’t have much choice.
Rushing Into Pattaya Nightlife
So, we both went to our rooms, freshened up, and I actually got down within 10 minutes, but he was already there. He said he had a quick shower, put on some new clothes, and he was there waiting, tapping his fingers together, trying to do anything to make the time pass quicker. As soon as he saw me, he stood up a lot of excitement on his face like I’d never seen before and he guides me out of the hotel, which was very close to the street that had lots of bars on it.
When we got to the street, we were on Second Road. He pointed down it and just said, “Tada!” His arms thrust, pointing at the wonder of the street. “Here we are,” he said. “This is where the magic happens.”
The First Pattaya Bar and Cheap Thai Beer
He’s almost running at this point running to get to that first bar. And he walks in, and I follow. And immediately, three or four girls surround us. He orders us some drinks, and they arrive not long after. And he orders drinks for the girls or two of them. When the drinks arrive, a container was placed on our table. A little bit of paper inside indicating the price of the drinks.
“Look at this,” he said in a quiet voice. He was almost giddy, almost excited to show me how much the beers were costing. He pulled out the piece of paper and I took a look. One beer 60. That was 60 baht. At one pound for 70 72 baht I think we were getting that that was under a quid. I pulled the bill closer to me. Perhaps the light wasn’t great in the bar and it wasn’t accurate. Should there have been a one in front of that? But no 60 baht. That was cheap.
But why was he getting so excited about the price of beer? He drank his in 3 seconds no time at all. And then he got another one. “You can have as many as you want here because they’re so cheap,” he said.
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe what he was doing and how happy he seemed to be. I was enjoying myself and having a good time. There’s no question about that, but it hadn’t taken a hold of me. It didn’t own me like it seemed to own my friend. He was in his element, talking to girls, ordering beers. He’d only been for two weeks, but he now considered himself to be the expert of experts. He felt like he knew everything. Every time I suggested something, he would shrug his shoulders and looked at me like I didn’t know anything yet.
We’d be walking past a bar and I’d say, “Should we go into this one?” And he’d look at me like, “Nah, that’s no good.” When asked how he knew that, he just said he knew. Maybe he went in there last time and didn’t enjoy it. That could only have been the reasoning behind it saying such a thing.
How My Friend Lived for Pattaya Bars
After the first bar, a few drinks in each, I can see the appeal. It is fun, and it’s very different to anything I’ve ever experienced before. But it seems like it’s become my friend’s world. That’s all he wants to live for all he wants to exist for. And I dreaded what would happen when the time came to go home.
Every time we’d walk into a bar, he’d be the one who you’d see shouting across from one side of the bar to the other, saying hi to the girls, ringing the bell. Not to mention the fact that he was using his credit card for this holiday, but he wanted to be that guy. He played the part well, but it was such a shame that he didn’t have anything to back it up.
After a great first day, it was getting late in the evening, and he said he wanted to go to one more bar. He led me out of the street we were on onto Beach Road, walked a bit further, and then up another street. The bars there seemed to be less in your face. He walked past four or five of them and then turned into one. As he was walking, he opened his arms and noticed that a girl walking over to him was doing the same. They embraced, and she spoke first, saying something like, “Nice to see you so soon.”
He turned to me and told her that this was his friend. I said hi. And then he told me that this was his girl last time. He then said, “I think it’s time we part ways for the night. I’ll meet you downstairs in the hotel at 10:30 in the morning.” I knew what he meant, so I left that bar and went for a walk around myself.
My First Night in a Thai Bar
I was still undecided. It hadn’t yet grabbed hold of me like it had my friend. I didn’t want to force it. If I was going to fall in love with Thailand as well, it would need to happen naturally. I walked back onto Beach Road and I found some bars along there and went in one that seemed to have a good atmosphere. I walked in, went to sit next to the bar, and pulled out a stool and ordered a drink. Because I wasn’t with my friend, I wanted to see if that experience would be different.
Not long after, a girl came over and asked for a drink, and I obliged, and we started talking. One thing that I noticed: when my friend spoke to the girls, he spoke in a different way. He wasn’t speaking to them in proper English. He seemed to speak to them like they spoke to him. I hadn’t been able to do that yet. When you speak in proper English, you get blank looks like, “What on earth are you talking about?”
Instead of asking her, for example, “Which part of Thailand do you come from?” it would be, “You come from where?” Things like that. And as soon as I started to do that, the conversation became a lot easier. She understood when I spoke like that. And when you forget that you’re speaking English completely incorrectly, you start to find yourself getting deeper and deeper into the moment.
The girl you’re talking to is beautiful. She’s got her hand on your lap. You’re holding a beer and she’s holding a drink. And both those drinks combined would be half the price of one drink for myself back home. My eyes were starting to be opened, and I finished off the night with her like you can do.
The Morning After My First Thai Bar Night
The next morning, I woke up in a panic. I looked at the clock in the hotel and it was only 8:00 a.m. Had I just had the best night of my life? All I wanted to do was to do that again. I looked in my wallet and the hundred quid that I had taken out in baht just after we left the hotel the following day it appeared like I had just over half of it left. I worked out I spent 45 quid. 45 quid. Wow.
My friend was on to something. No way. I just spent 45 quid and I got all that. And I did all that. 45 quid. I couldn’t sleep anymore after waking up. I was too excited. I was pumping. I felt like I needed to go now. I only had two weeks here. We needed to make every single second count. That’s when I remember my friend hurriedly grabbing the room keys out of the receptionist’s hand for that extra second. Every second did indeed count. Not only that, while I was thinking about this, I was wasting time.
I quickly showered, nursing the hangover I had, and went and knocked on my friend’s door. He was still asleep, but answered it not long after, and I said, “We need to go. We’re wasting time.” He opened the door a bit wider and sort of gestured with his eyes behind him towards the bed as if to say, “I can’t right now, but I’ll meet you at 10:30.” I don’t think I even said okay. I just nodded my head and walked hurriedly towards the elevator.
I left the hotel and walked to the bars. None of them were open as you’d expect, but there was a small restaurant opening that served breakfast. I had a full English £1.25. My heart’s pounding in my chest. This sense of finding the Garden of Eden it was played out in plain view, and I had front row tickets to the party.
How the First Week in Thailand Flew By
As well as having that breakfast, I had some beers in the morning starting off the day well and I went back to the hotel and met my friend at 10:30. His girl was still with him, and he said, “I think we should do something before hitting the bars mid afternoon.” I just wanted to go to the bars now, but it did make sense that we needed to see something else. His girl recommended somewhere, and we got in a taxi and went there. It was nice a nice place, gardens. But I could see attractions like this in Europe. Why am I in Thailand to look at flowers? But because my friend was with his girl, I suppose it made it better.
We went back to the hotel after visiting that attraction. I vowed to never go anywhere in Thailand again that you could have a similar experience to in Europe. There was simply no point. Thailand was there for Thailand things. And I’m thinking about all these things and planning my future. And Thailand seems to be right at the forefront of it. It was scary how it took hold. Unbelievable how it grabbed me. I felt like I belonged to Thailand now. But I would quickly understand that you might belong to Thailand, but Thailand doesn’t value you as an asset.
When we got back to the hotel, his girl left and went back to work. I looked at him and said, “Don’t you mind?” He said, “No, I’m going to another bar and there’s another girl that I met.” He was acting like he was a real player a real stud. And in that situation, even though it might be weird or even slightly controversial, he was living like that.
We went out and hit the bars together, each one better than the next. Each one a vivid depiction of the best dreams you could hope to grace your nights. My favorite was a very small bar. It was intimate. It seemed to be off the beaten path down one street, but you had to turn down another smaller one to get to it. And the girls in there were even more stunning than I’d seen at the other bars. You’d go in and order some drinks. They’d come over and talk, but the night was young, and you’d want to go somewhere else. You’d pay the bill, looking at it, thinking, “How was that only 7 quid?”
Thailand’s Cheap Nightlife Drew Me In
From there, you’d go to another place. Then he’d go to a restaurant and have a slap up meal for £2.50. Then we’d go to one of his favorite bars. He’d meet one of the girls that seemed to be equally as in love with him as the other and repeat. We usually spent time together until around 10:00 p.m. Then we went our separate ways for the night, and that night was no different. It was a repeat of the night before and again the whole day. I spent 47 quid that time.
And you’re laughing to yourself, thinking you found some kind of loophole in the matrix. You can do anything you want for hours and hours and hours with the most beautiful girls in the world around you, and it’s costing you less than a basic meal for one with a few drinks at an okay restaurant at home. The value for money was mind blowing. You have to see it to believe it.
And I could see my friend being drawn in like he was last time. But the problem was I was now getting drawn in. Any thoughts of life back home didn’t make you feel upset. It scared you. It sent you into a panic. And that worry that you’re going to get ripped away from the Garden of Eden I think that’s the only way you can describe it. You are being ripped away from the Garden of Eden against your own will. I knew I would need mental resilience, but I did worry about my friend.
The first week of our time in Thailand it went by. Each day better than the next, each night an order of magnitude better than the one before. And there’s nowhere else you’d rather be, and nothing else you’d rather be doing. Life made sense in Thailand. Life was what you wanted it to be in Thailand. You were who you always thought you were in Thailand.
Feeling Free to Be Yourself in Thailand
And I think that’s the thing that is important to talk about. When you’re at home living in a house that perhaps isn’t the sort of house you actually want to live in. You’ve got a car, but perhaps it’s not actually the type of car you really want to drive. And you’re working a job that you definitely don’t want to be working. You’re not who you are. For most people like that, that’s not who they really are. This is who they’re being forced to be. You’re being forced to act a certain way, be a certain way, and to do certain things. In a world where you have no say in what any of the rules or regulations are these have been imposed on you by people who do not have your best interests at heart.
But in Thailand, it felt like you were unshackled from those rules. There was a disconnect between the two places. And in Thailand, you could be who you wanted to be. You could do what you wanted to do. And it made you feel absolutely amazing when you did.
The final week went by too quickly. I made sure to make each day count. Up at 10:00, breakfast with some beers, bars as soon as they opened, and the beautiful girls everything. I took everything to 100 every time. In a way, I wanted to get it all out of my system. I wanted to do so much that I would get bored of it. The problem was, you never did. The more you did, the more you wanted it. It was like a never ending spiral into oblivion.
But when it came time to go home the day after, we had one last night. One last night to go all out. Realistically, there wasn’t a chance to come back for at least a year. We reasoned with ourselves: we need to somehow pack a whole year into one night. And what a night it was. It was the best night of the trip. Led to the worst hangover of the trip.
The Final Night Before Leaving Thailand
Waking up knowing that within a few hours you’ll be in a taxi to Bangkok and a few hours after that you’ll be on a plane home. It was like someone telling you you’ve got only a few hours of freedom left. I was still mentally able to understand that it was important to go home. As much as I could have stayed in Thailand forever and lived that life forever, I knew it was unsustainable and more of a holiday.
But my friend was not in a good way. He wasn’t built like that. He was almost shaking. Shaking at the knowledge that he was going to be forcibly removed from Thailand against his will from his world. He kept saying it was a violation of his human rights. As a human, he felt it was his right to be able to live where he wanted to live.
I tried to explain to him that it didn’t work like that. “If you had enough money, you could come and do what you wanted, but you don’t.” And then he looked at me. “My car I could sell that.”
I thought about all the feelings I was having how much I loved Thailand and didn’t want to leave. But I knew I needed to, and I could cope with that fact. I’d get over it, and I’d be back at work in a few days’ time. But he didn’t seem to be able to get over it.
Why My Friend Refused to Go Back Home
I tried to say, “How much money could you get for your car?” But he didn’t say an amount of money. He said, “8 weeks, 9 weeks. I could get eight or nine weeks out of my car.” “And then what? I could max out my credit card.” He said, “Oh, how much is that? Two more weeks 3 weeks maybe? Maybe by then I can get a job as an English teacher or something. Then I can live here permanently.”
He didn’t want to go back. He left the hotel quickly and came back with a big wad of cash. “From the credit card,” he said, smiling. He didn’t look scared anymore. He didn’t look upset anymore. He was happy because he was staying in Thailand. He looked at me and said, “I’m not going back.”
I thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. I tried to say, “You have to. You need to go back. Pull your life together. If you can pull your life together, you could come to Thailand again soon. But you need a foundation. You need something to build off.” But he wasn’t having it. He just said, “Don’t worry, I’m staying.”
Then he asked me if I could sell his car for him. As a friend, I felt like I had to say yes, even though I didn’t want to. I was thinking there’s no way he’s actually going to stay there. But I had all my bags packed, and he walked over and paid for another night in the hotel. “I’m staying,” he said. “There’s nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind.”
Selling His Car to Stay in Thailand
I did try, but it was hopeless. Thailand had him, and it wasn’t letting go. I just hoped he’d get bored and come home before he completely destroyed his life.
I got into the taxi myself, got to the airport in Bangkok, and I’m getting over the holiday already. I’m remembering everything about it the amazing memories but I know I could do that again if I wanted to. But it wasn’t sustainable to stay there. When I finally boarded the plane, I was worried about my friend. I didn’t know what he was going to do. But I had to let him live his life. He was a grown man in his 40s, but he had that addiction that Thailand addiction which many people say is worse than being addicted to drugs.
When I got home, I got to my house and I was actually starting to feel happy to be back. It was good to separate the party atmosphere of Thailand and the reality of home. Some guys are not able to separate those two things. Once they find Thailand, they need Thailand. They need it, and nothing else comes close in terms of importance for them.
Trying to Help My Friend After the Holiday
I was waiting to hear from my friend, waiting for a call. He had his mobile with a Thai number, and I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. He asked me to sell his car for him, and as a friend I knew I needed to. I couldn’t say no, but I needed to speak to him first. He called me about 10 days later saying sorry he hadn’t called. He was just living. And he asked me if I’d already sold the car. When I told him no because I was waiting to hear from him and I tried to get in touch and he never answered he sounded extremely upset.
“I need the money,” he said. “You need to sell it for me today,” he said. “How do you expect me to sell it in a single day?” I said. But he said he needed the money. “Can you front me some?”
I went round to his house where his car was parked up and took some pictures of it and hoped somebody would buy it soon. It took 2 weeks to sell, and I had fronted him some money first. It was a huge worry a huge concern. How was he doing? But I had to remember that he was a grown man able to do what he wanted with his life, no matter how ridiculous it was.
I’m just getting back into work. Don’t really have many thoughts about Thailand anymore, but you do think about that particular night or that particular girl or that particular bar. You have a smile and think, “Oh, I’d love to go back.” But it’s not your be all and end all. I was hooked when I was there. It was a spell, but I didn’t belong to Thailand. Thailand hadn’t taken me. It hadn’t taken a hold of me. I mean, it did, but it let go. It hadn’t let go of my friend.
His English Teaching Job in Thailand
When he finally called me after a month, his voice was different, and he asked me to do something. He said, “I need you to go into my house, go into my bedroom, and in the middle drawer of the dresser, there’s 500 quid cash. Go and get it and send it to me.” I tried to tell him, “Don’t you think it’s time to come home?” But he said no he didn’t want to. He was trying to find a job teaching English. He wanted to stay there.
Reluctantly, I did as he asked, just hoping that eventually he’d call saying he was coming home. But his house was still in the same mess it was when I saw it a few days before we left. Crisp packets and beer cans none of it had been cleared up.
Three whole months passed, and I didn’t give it much thought anymore. He was obviously living his life. Obviously not thinking about me, which was fair enough. We were best friends, but he’s going through a patch in his life and he needs some time alone.
He called me up out of the blue unexpectedly. I was at work, but he told me he got a job teaching English. The thought of him teaching English he wasn’t the sort who you thought would be able to do that. He said he was paid about 500 quid a month. Not a lot of money, but you have to remember that was about 37,000 baht back then, and that stretched a long way. He said he found a cheap room and he was able to go out three times a week. When he said that, you could hear the sound in his voice drop. Only be able to go out three times a week as opposed to every day. That ripped at him. That tore him to shreds. And I could hear it in his voice. But I still thought he’d get over it.
Returning to Thailand to Find Him
But the months dragged on, and I don’t hear from him, thinking, “Should I go to Thailand?” It was coming up to the time when I could have a holiday, and I needed one. Maybe I should go to Thailand. I knew I was able to separate the two. It might be difficult when you’re there to imagine coming back to this, but you can do it.
When I was thinking about that, over the course of the next few months, I got a call. Only it wasn’t from him. It was from a girl who said she was his girlfriend. She said he’d lost his job and he’s in a right state, and she doesn’t know what to do. He was an only child, and he wasn’t close to his parents. They were already in their 70s, and apparently they weren’t interested to help.
I was thinking about going to Thailand anyway, so maybe I can have a look at him and see what he’s up to. I decided to take my holiday off, and they’d let me go as quickly as I could. 2 weeks in Thailand it’s going to be my second trip. And I flew 2 days after.
Finding My Friend Overstaying in Pattaya
I thought about my friend when we went to Thailand last time. He was showing me everything like he was a seasoned expert. And I quietly admit to harboring those feelings as well when I got to the airport and checked in and boarded the plane and landed in Thailand. Taxi straight to Pattaya. Only this time, I’m repeating something I’d already done. And I feel like an old hand. Got to Pattaya, same hotel, checked in, and I feel like I’m back where I want to be. I was so fortunate to be able to separate the two worlds. So fortunate.
I tried to get in touch with my friend and his girlfriend, but I couldn’t, and just hoped they’d call back. So, I left a message for both of them. I was there. It was my holiday, and I was going to enjoy myself. I’d worry about my friend when he got in touch with me. I went back to the bars, and what a brilliant time. I noticed that the price even ever so slightly had gone up. The pound wasn’t as strong, but it was still strong, and it still felt wonderful and cheap. I enjoyed the night, and one of the girls remembered me, which felt good, and that was fun.
And the next morning when I woke up, I tried to get in touch with them again. His girlfriend actually answered. She said she was worried about him. He’s just staying in his room, and he’s not doing anything. I went to meet his girlfriend. It was one of those girls that I saw him with last time. And she took me to his room where he was. It was awful. Tiny place. He was just lying there on the bed, completely disheveled, unshaven, and it looked to me like he shouldn’t be there.
I asked him, “Don’t you think it’s time to go home?” But he didn’t want to. Then he told me he hasn’t even bothered to do his visa. If he wanted to leave Thailand, he would have to pay a 20,000 baht fine at the airport 500 baht a day, up to a maximum of 20,000. And he’d overstayed too long. If he was caught in Thailand, he would be in for a world of hurt. He just looked at me and said that he needed to stay in Thailand. He needed to be there. This is where he belonged.
Paying His Fine and Bringing Him Home
I asked him if he knew he was in a state, and he said he did, but he said he didn’t know what to do. I knew there and then that I had to intervene. I couldn’t let him do this. And I said, “I’m here for 2 weeks. I’m here to have a good time. You want to have a good time with me? You’ve got to go back with me at the end.” I just hoped he wouldn’t get caught on overstay. “Take yourself back to England, get yourself sorted out, save up some money and get your head straight, and you can come back.”
He just kept saying “no” like in a weary voice. So I just left and hoped that he would see sense. I really enjoyed my time there, but I kept trying to convince my friend, and eventually I think he saw that the writing was on the wall and it was because I kept explaining to him that he needed to sort himself out. If he did, he could go back to Thailand.
He told me that he hadn’t paid his credit card bill, so he’d have ruined his credit. I told him not to worry about it. You can’t do anything about that now. You’ve just got to sort yourself out.
It was on my last three days there that he’d sort of pulled himself together, made himself look presentable, and we had three wild nights. I could tell he was enjoying it, and that’s where he wanted to be. I just dreaded when it was time to leave. I’d have to pay for his flight and the fine at the airport if he actually went through with it. But he said he would. I think when he realized that if he didn’t, his life would probably be over caught on overstay, maybe even blacklisted he had to do it.
When it was time to go, I paid for his ticket. I paid his fine, and we flew home together. It seemed like he was a wreck, shaking uncontrollably. But I drove him to his house. I hadn’t seen that for months, but when he tried the key, it didn’t work. He hadn’t been paying his rent, of course, and they changed the locks, and there was already somebody else living there. I had to let him stay with me.
Saving Money for His Return to Thailand
And a week later, he was starting to come around. He always talked about Thailand, though wanting to be in Thailand. But I think he saw that the only way he could get to Thailand was by doing something about it. He couldn’t just be in Thailand if he didn’t make a possibility of it.
He did manage to turn himself around just and I think the only reason he did that was because Thailand was calling him. We didn’t see each other very often after he moved out of my place. He had a sole focus of getting money. He worked countless hours on two or three different jobs. Didn’t want to go out anymore because that would be wasting his Thailand money. He didn’t want to do anything other than go back to Thailand.
We’d meet up occasionally, and all he’d talk about was when he was going back. I just bet he would get into the same situation as he did before. And he called me out of the blue months and months later it could have been a year saying, “Let’s meet up. I’m leaving.”
We went for a drink, discussed old times, and it was still all about Thailand. He said he’d saved up enough money to be able to get to Thailand. He looked so happy, and I just told him I wished him the best. Have a good time, but be careful. Don’t get into the same state that you did last time. He laughed and said he wouldn’t, and we parted ways.
The Last I Heard About His Thailand Addiction
The last I heard from him we didn’t keep in touch very much after that. He started off okay in Thailand, but he got drawn back into the world that he loved, spending too much money, and things were starting to get more expensive in Thailand, and he was complaining about that massively. “I have given my life to Thailand,” he would say. “I gave my life to this country, and all it has done is take what I loved away from it and made it worse.” He was furious about that, but there was no saving him.
I didn’t speak to him again after that. He sent me a message saying he was moving to Cambodia and that was that 15 years or something ago like that. I don’t know what happened to him.
Thailand owned him. Thailand could have done anything it wanted to, and he’d have gladly accepted it if it meant he could stay there.
It’s important to say that Thailand is an addiction for some people. I had a mild addiction to Thailand, enough that I continue to visit and love it there and always will.
If you are the sort of person that can easily lose control, Thailand could ruin you.
