I Rushed Into a Thai Relationship and Lost Everything

This is my story about how I met a Thai girl online, rushed literally every aspect of the relationship, and ended up in the worst place possible.

At that stage in my life, I was pushing 60 years old, never really had a real relationship, had no kids, and didn’t have the best outlook on life.

Some may even say I was pretty desperate to meet someone, and I would agree with them.

I think because I hadn’t had much luck at home in the dating world and was close to retirement, that’s why I started looking online and expanding my search beyond my own country.

I had never even been to Thailand. Yeah, I’d heard about it, I’m sure most people have, but it was never really on my list of places I wanted to visit.

It wasn’t long until I started talking to a lady who was living just outside of Bangkok.

Getting to Know Her

She looked very cute, was nice to speak to, and spoke really good English, though I’m not sure if she was using a translator at the time.

As we began talking more and more, she told me she had children and had nothing to do with their dad, as he left them not long after she got pregnant a second time.

I never did find out what she did for a living, though. I think she had just been bouncing around jobs and taking whatever came her way, but she told me she never really made much money.

She was 29, so there was a big age difference, but I still thought at that age she would be mature enough to have a relationship with.

I asked her what she really wanted out of life, and her reply was to get out of Thailand and have a better life for her and her children.

It really did sound like she had some goals in life, and the fact she was putting her kids first was a big plus for me.

Friends’ Warnings and the Visa Problem

I did tell a couple of close friends about this woman I’d been talking to and told them I was considering going over sometime if she wanted me to.

They seemed happy for me because they knew I was lonely, that was until I told them she was pretty poor and trying to make ends meet for her family.

They told me not to send money, as a lot of girls from that part of the world use online dating to try and get money from people in the West.

Luckily for me, she never asked me for money, which I’m glad about because I probably would have given in and sent her some.

We talked more, and I asked her if she would like me to travel to Thailand to come and see her. She said yes but said she’d much prefer if she could come to me instead.

I had to explain to her that it’s a lot harder to get a visa to come here than for me to go there. She’d have to jump through hoops, and it’s not a quick or easy process.

Planning the First Trip

With that said, we agreed that I would go to Thailand first, and if we still wanted to see each other after my trip, then we’d attempt to get her a visa.

After a couple of months of talking and video calling, I did really start to like her, even though I’d never met her.

It was the things she said, the attention she gave me, and the fact that she seemed like the kind of person who wanted a better life that drew me in.

Not to mention, this was the first time in a long, long time that a woman had actually shown me attention and cared for me. It was a totally new feeling for me, and I’ll admit, I loved it.

I’m not much of a traveler either. I’d probably been to 4 or 5 different countries in my 60 years of being here, and Thailand would be the furthest place I’d ever traveled to.

Although I was extremely nervous, and some of my friends thought I was pretty crazy, I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to meet this woman, even if things didn’t work out in the long run.

Booking the Trip

In my head, if things didn’t work out while I was there, then at least I’d be close to Bangkok, and I could just travel there for the rest of my trip.

I’m sure a lonely, single old man like myself would have a lot of fun there, especially after reading about these so-called bargirls.

We spoke for a few more weeks, and I asked her straight: Are you sure you want me to come? Because if so, I’d rather come now than wait more months. Are you sure you’re okay with everything? Our age difference, distance, and anything else that might cause a strain?

She promised me that she really liked me and didn’t care about anything that might hold us back. She wanted to give it a proper shot, and so did I.

I told her I’d come the following week and fly to Bangkok. I told her this on a video call, and she was smiling and acting all excited.

I asked her if she could have the day off work and meet me at Bangkok airport, as I had no clue how everything worked there or how to even get to where she lived.

Warnings Before Bangkok

She said she wouldn’t work but needed money to get to Bangkok, which I thought was fair, so I sent her like $50 or something, nothing crazy, just enough for transport.

So the flight was booked: 1 week in Bangkok, then we’d decide where else to go for a week, and then back to Bangkok for me to fly home.

To say I was nervous is an understatement. I felt excited and sick at the same time.

One of my friends actually tried to talk me out of it, saying that I was being set up to be scammed and she probably wasn’t who she said she was.

As stupid and cringe as this sounds, he didn’t know her like I did, even though I’d never met her.

We had talked about a lot of stuff, and we video-called just about every day, so I knew she was exactly the person she said she was.

Arriving in Bangkok

It didn’t even cross my mind that she was out to scam me until my friend said so, and I just brushed that off because I didn’t believe it for a second.

From what I already knew about her, she was perfect for me, exactly the type of woman I was looking for, so anything negative that friends said, I completely ignored. I wasn’t going to let her go without even trying.

After the long flight to Thailand, which felt like it took a week to get there, I finally stepped off the plane in Bangkok. Reality was now setting in.

I got through immigration after waiting like an hour in line, thinking that she might have left because it took so long and I didn’t have a SIM card to contact her.

But there she was, standing there, waiting for me, looking more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

She looked even more beautiful than she did during our video calls, and at that moment, I actually felt like the luckiest person alive that she wanted to be with me.

First Impressions of Bangkok

For some reason, it didn’t feel awkward when we met. I felt so much at ease, and I think she did too, probably because we’d been talking for months prior, so it felt like we already knew each other.

Her English was actually pretty good, not exactly great. I had to repeat myself a few times, but that’s probably because of my accent. She spoke good English.

After our first meeting, we jumped in a taxi and headed to the hotel.

In the taxi, we didn’t stop talking. Everything just flowed so well. My first impression of her was just perfect.

She was sweet, nice to talk to, and very touchy, holding my hand and stuff, something I read online that Thai people don’t usually do in public.

Once we got to the hotel and I was unpacking my stuff, she video-called her mom and her children, I think just letting them know she was in safe hands.

Our First Days Together

I waved to them on camera, but that was it, as they didn’t speak English. Though I watched her talk to them and felt pretty good, and sad at the same time.

I liked that she was a family person, but it was pretty sad because, looking at them, I could see they lived in a pretty poor environment.

During our times chatting online and video-calling, I knew I liked her, but actually meeting her in person, I knew then that if she didn’t like me, this was going to be hard, because I was totally head over heels for her at that point.

It was early evening once we finally got everything settled and got over the nerves of our first meeting, and she asked me if we could go out.

The plan was to get some food, a couple of drinks, and then back to the hotel.

She took me to a seafood restaurant on Sukhumvit Soi 11 (I think it was), and then we walked around that area, getting a couple of drinks here and there.

Discovering Bangkok Together

My first thought of the place, if I’m honest, was that I didn’t like it.

The area looked dirty, the traffic was insane, pollution was crazy, and I couldn’t walk 10 steps on Sukhumvit Road without someone asking me if I needed something.

The strange thing was, the people asking weren’t Thai, they were African.

I did eventually warm up to the place, though, after a couple of beers in a bar on Sukhumvit Soi 4, where we sat on the balcony, chatting and laughing while looking out at the mayhem on the street.

She joked and said she’d take me to Nana Plaza next door. After she explained what it was, I said it’s probably best we don’t go there on our first night meeting.

For the next few days, we pretty much just went out during the day, with her showing me around the malls, temples, and trying different types of Thai food, some of which burned my taste buds off, and then at night, we’d relax with a couple of beers.

The American Couple’s Advice

Things were actually going so well between us, and I started to feel like we were both falling in love, not to mention that Bangkok really grew on me, and I started to fall in love with the place too.

One night, while we were sitting in a bar on Sukhumvit Soi 8, we got chatting to another foreigner-Thai couple, he was from the U.S.

He told me how he met his Thai wife, that they lived in Isan and were in Bangkok to sort out her visa so they could visit his family.

They both used to live there, so the visa wasn’t hard for them, but they decided to move back to Isan for a cheaper life.

He told me about how they’d both had enough, in the U.S., they were making good money, but by the end of the month, it was all gone.

He said their money lasts a lot longer in Thailand, and they live better than they did back home, a nicer and bigger house, friendlier people, cheaper bills, and just all in all, a hell of a lot cheaper.

Thinking About Life in Thailand

I noticed firsthand some of the things he said, like when we went out for a meal, even the beers were a lot cheaper here than back home.

After that night, everything that American guy told me about living in Thailand stuck in my mind.

I was constantly thinking about how life would be living there and if I could actually pull it off.

I wanted to be with this girl and thought we could have a happy and successful relationship, but I knew getting her to my country would be difficult due to the visa and all the other stuff that comes with it.

Before leaving Thailand, we went out for our last meal. We both spoke about how much we loved this trip and wished it could last.

She told me she was serious about me and wanted a relationship with me now and in the future.

Leaving Thailand

I floated the idea past her about me retiring in Thailand and us living together with her children, didn’t have to be in Bangkok, could be anywhere she wanted.

She told me she wanted a better life for her children and said Thailand didn’t offer that, she’d much rather move to my country to be with me.

She wasn’t against me moving to Thailand, but I understood why she wanted to move out and come to a Western country, and once the kids were old enough, me and her could move back to Thailand if we wanted to.

Returning back to my cold and lonely country was really a punch in the gut. Neither of us wanted this trip to end.

She came with me to the airport, and it was heartbreaking for us both.

She didn’t ask for anything, but I asked if I could give her some money to get home and some spending money for her and her kids, to which she accepted.

Planning a Future in Germany

Once I got home, things carried on as normal, chatting every day and video-calling when we could.

We got more onto the subject of her coming to Germany and more about our future together.

She told me she wanted to come to Germany and live here with me, not returning to Thailand anytime soon.

When I asked her why she wanted to move here so badly, she just told me she didn’t like it in Thailand and knew that she wanted to be in a relationship with me, and that it would only work for a short time if we kept it long-distance.

Of course, I didn’t want to lose her due to the distance. At this point, I was madly in love with her, so I started looking into getting her to Germany long-term.

The easiest and almost guaranteed way for her to come here long-term would be for us to get married in a proper wedding and get a visa that way.

Marriage and the Visa Process

I didn’t actually mind marrying her. Like I said, at that point, I was completely in love and thought we made a great match. I couldn’t have ever imagined meeting a girl like that, she was perfect for me.

I did tell her about this and the benefits it would have for her if we got married and she came here.

Surprisingly, she said she wanted to get married anyway, regardless of whether it helped with the visa or not. Again, she was saying all the right things to me.

So we arranged for me to go back to Thailand, and we’d officially get married. Before I knew it, I was back on the plane heading there.

Against all the warnings from my friends, we went ahead and got married in Bangkok, a proper marriage, not one of the Thai types that aren’t exactly official.

Back home, I started working on the visa straight away, getting all the paperwork, proof, and everything that was asked for. It really was a difficult process.

Waiting for the Visa

I don’t want to get too political, but certain people can come to Germany easily, get everything paid for, and live a happy life, yet people who actually want to come here in a legit way have to go through the proper process.

We were told the visa process would take around 8 to 10 months.

Although that was a long time, it gave us enough time to keep working and saving money for the future. I wasn’t quite ready to retire just yet anyway.

Because we were both saving, we agreed that I wouldn’t take any more trips to Thailand while we waited for the visa, as that would keep costing money.

Now that she was technically my wife, I supported her financially. I wanted her to spend as much time with her family as possible because she’d have to come here alone first.

Plus, she didn’t have a steady job, so I knew saving money would be difficult for her.

Starting Life in Germany

I didn’t support her with a great deal, maybe 1,000 euros a month to keep her going.

Finally, the visa came, and she was approved to come to Germany. We were both excited as we read it together on a video call.

Everything was starting to feel real now. Could my life actually be looking like it might be going somewhere now? Better late than never, I guess.

I can remember waiting for her at the airport, a bag of nerves, feeling like a complete wreck.

I still remember seeing her and her reaction to the German weather. Funny but lovely moment, thinking back.

The first day together, we just drove around. I was showing her things like the grocery stores here, the streets, and the cost of everything.

Supporting Our New Life

She couldn’t believe how expensive things were here compared to Thailand.

But she loved seeing everything, constantly smiling and saying how different it was to back home.

This was her first time out of Thailand, so it was great to be sharing this experience with her.

I could tell she was really happy to be with me, and that night, she really did show her happiness when we got back to my home, or should I say, our home.

With her coming here on the type of visa she was on, she wasn’t allowed to work legally just yet, so the only income we had was from me.

We came to the agreement that I would continue to give her that 1,000 euros a month so she could send it home to her family while she wasn’t working.

Life in Germany

And while we were in Germany, we’d live from my income. It felt like the right thing to do at the time, and I didn’t want her to worry about her family back home.

I wanted her to be happy here and not miss home and end up leaving. Supporting her financially was the manly thing to do.

From then on, things were pretty good. Thai women make really good wives and are very caring.

All my friends and what little family I had really liked her and approved of everything once they got to know her.

She was always cooking, cleaning, taking care of me, and showed a lot of respect to everyone.

She knew I was working hard, and since she didn’t have a job, she tried to do whatever she could around the house to help out.

Missing Thailand

I couldn’t believe that me, a 60-year-old man, had this beautiful, perfect Thai woman as my wife. It always felt so good when we were out in public, and I could show her off.

One thing I struggled to get used to, and what she struggled with as well, was the food.

She would cook Thai food, and most of it I couldn’t eat. It also took her a while to get used to the food I ate. But other than that, life was perfect.

This went on for a while, and eventually, she was able to start taking German classes at a school.

Things were looking up, but you know when you have a gut feeling something is wrong? That was happening to me.

She didn’t directly tell me anything was wrong, and I just thought maybe she missed home or her family, or just life back home.

Moving Back to Thailand

When I asked her about it, she did admit that she missed home. She said I hadn’t done anything wrong and still wanted to be with me but wanted to go back to Thailand.

I fully understood, to be honest, moving from Thailand to Germany, where she didn’t know anyone, didn’t know the language, and everything was just different.

I wasn’t against the idea of moving to Thailand, really. I was about to retire, and we had quite a bit of savings by now, so we made the decision to move there.

The only smart thing I did in this whole story was not sell my house. I kept it just in case things went south, and sure enough, that’s exactly what happened.

We arrived in Thailand together. I was only on a visa exemption entry, there was no point in going through the whole process of getting a proper visa just yet.

I thought we were going to get a nice condo in Bangkok or something, like we’d spoken about, but after we visited her family, she wanted us to get a condo close to them, as she wanted to be near them.

Money Problems Begin

I’m not a snob or anything, but the condos around that area weren’t really much to look at on the outside, and the inside was even worse. But if it made my wife happy, then so be it.

After 2 months of being there, I extended my visa, as I was starting to find myself settling in and feeling a bit more comfortable.

The problem was, we were going through a lot of money, and I didn’t even know where it was going.

Yes, we didn’t live like we were saving money, but we also didn’t go crazy with it. Still, it seemed to be draining fast.

I was still giving her family 1,000 euros a month. At first, I didn’t mind, but now we had to watch our spending, so I spoke to my wife about stopping it or at least reducing the amount.

Of course, she took it badly and went into a fit, complaining that I needed to support them because she wasn’t working and that I’d promised to do it before we got married.

The Laundromat Plan

That is true, I did promise, but I didn’t realize it was going to be every month for over a year. They didn’t need that much, and they should have saved some of what I’d been giving.

From then on, my wife was completely different, not the woman I first met.

She would complain about every little thing the second her eyes opened. I was walking on eggshells all day with her, and nothing I ever did was good enough for her.

She kept hinting that she wanted to start her own business by opening a laundromat or something, just so she could support her family, even though I was still giving them 500 euros a month (down from 1,000).

Being the sucker I am and wanting to be on the good side of my wife, I finally gave in and offered to help with her little business. I gave her the equivalent of 7,000 euros to get the ball rolling.

This made her happy, and she went back to being the loving, caring woman again, for about a month, until I had to leave.

The Business Money

I could have done a border run, but I decided to tell her that I needed to take care of some things back home first and then I’d come back.

I told her before I left to start with her business and keep me posted about the progress. We left on good terms, and everything seemed back to normal again.

About 2 days after I left, she asked if she could have an extra 2,000 euros to get more stuff for her business. In my head, the money was being put to good use, so I transferred it to her.

The problem started about 1 month after I got home. She kept asking for extra money to get things for her business, but I never saw anything.

There was absolutely nothing to show for it, and when I finally said I wouldn’t give her anymore until she showed me what she’d actually spent the money on, she came clean.

She told me she’d given her family half of it because they needed it for one thing or another, and the other half she’d saved.

Ending the Marriage

I stuck to what I said and refused to give her anymore money until she actually started doing something with it, but that never came. She would just call me names, get angry, and say horrible things like she regretted ever meeting me.

It took long enough, but I finally had enough. Yeah, she did make me extremely happy, and I don’t regret meeting her, but the way she treated me towards the end was just unacceptable. Nobody should be treated like that.

I broke it off with her and said we should get a divorce. She blocked me everywhere and didn’t speak to me.

Luckily, I still had my house, like I said. I had money saved, yeah, not as much as I would have liked, but still enough to survive.

She could have easily taken me for everything, and I think if I hadn’t finally put my foot down, she would have.

I’m sharing my story because I don’t want people to rush into things. No matter how lonely you are in life or how much you think this woman is the one, take your time.

Lessons from the Relationship

Some men don’t have the guts to stand up for themselves and say enough is enough. Before they know it, they’re broke and going back home to nothing.

I’m just getting on with life now. I don’t exactly regret meeting her, I just regret rushing things and spending money. No regrets, but many lessons.