Thailand Romances and Difficult Demands
After years of watching videos and reading forums about Thailand, I finally made the trip myself. I had been working long hours in Dallas, saving up and dreaming of warm nights, cold beers, and the kind of freedom I hadn’t felt since my 20s. Bangkok was the first stop. I had booked 10 nights at a budget hotel near Sukhumvit Soi 22. Nothing fancy, but clean, air-conditioned, and only 1,000 baht a night.
I had plans to explore temples and street food by day and maybe grab a few drinks at night. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but I didn’t want short-time flings either something in between. You know, a girl who liked me for me.
On my second night in Bangkok, I wandered into the Thermae coffee shop. Despite the name, it isn’t a real coffee shop. It opens at around 8:00 p.m. and goes on until about 2:00 in the morning. The place is an underground cafe on Sukhumvit Road. Inside, it’s dimly lit, filled with freelancers waiting for customers while ladyboys linger around the street entrance outside. Nobody drinks coffee there it’s all alcoholic drinks served by staff, and the vibe is more hunting ground than cafe.
I figured I’d just sit, grab a beer, and people watch. 10 minutes in, a girl came over to me. She didn’t ask she just smiled and leaned in like she already knew I was going to talk to her. Her name was Fawn. She had smooth tan skin, long straight black hair, and a great body. She wore a simple dress, but it clung to her in all the right places. She must have been around 28 years old.
“You alone?” she asked. Her English was fluent too fluent and she spoke with that smooth, practiced tone that made me wonder how many times she had done this.
Fawn Makes Me Feel Special
I told her I was just having a drink to relax. She laughed like I’d said something clever. “I’m Fawn,” she said. “From Kalasin Province in Isaan. I work at a spa now, but not so busy. I come here sometimes to meet nice men.”
I bought her a drink. She ordered a vodka Red Bull and sipped it quick too quick, actually. She smiled and touched my arm, and I should have seen the signs already. She told me she liked older guys because they were calm, not crazy like young Thai boys. I was 52. She said she was 28. The age gap didn’t seem to bother her at all.
We talked for a while, and she never once brought up money or bar fines or anything else that would make it obvious she was a freelancer. She said she didn’t do this sort of thing often. She just had some time and needed to relax. I convinced myself that maybe she was one of the good ones the kind of girl who just needed a break from life.
We finished our drinks and she said, “Do you want to go somewhere quiet? If you want, I come. No need money. Just want to be with you.”
Fawn Starts Asking for Money
That line should have been enough to make me walk away, but I was jet lagged, lonely, and enchanted by how smooth everything felt. We went back to my hotel and had what I can only describe as a five-star aerobic session. She stayed the night, and the next morning she was brushing her hair in the mirror wearing one of my T-shirts and asking what I wanted for breakfast. I was hooked.
The next few days were like a dream. We visited temples, ate at plastic stores by the street, and she showed me around. She held my hand in public. She laughed at my jokes. She even helped me haggle with taxi drivers. She’d meet me in the afternoon and stay till the next morning. She never asked for money though I paid for everything and she seemed genuinely grateful, not greedy.
By day five, I had completely let my guard down. She told me she loved mango sticky rice, and her dream was to open a small shop in her village. She said her parents were farmers and she sent them money every month to help them out. One night, she stayed quiet through dinner and then told me her phone was broken and she couldn’t afford a new one. I offered to help and bought her a Samsung for about 6,500 baht not a top model, obviously. She looked surprised, but kissed me and said she’d never forget my kindness.
Two days later, she said her mother was sick and needed money for medicine. Again, I gave her 3,000 baht. She said she’d pay me back, but I waved it off.
Seeing Fawn With Another Man
The cracks began to show around day eight. She didn’t stay over that night. She said she had to help a friend early in the morning. I said okay, but something felt off. She left quickly on a motorbike taxi. I waited a while, then texted her but didn’t get a reply. The next day, she messaged late afternoon saying she had been tired from work, but something about her tone had changed.
I decided to find out the truth. I went back to Thermae that night and sat at the bar from around 8:00 p.m., watching the girls come and go. At around 9:45, I saw her come down the stairs. She looked exactly the same dress, heels, makeup, even the same flirtatious smile. She walked straight to a table where a foreigner was sitting, and within minutes she was touching his hand, laughing, and ordering a drink just like she had with me.
I felt sick. I stayed for another hour. Then I walked back into the Bangkok night. I didn’t confront her right then. I needed to think.
The next day, I waited again outside Thermae. When she came out and saw me, her face turned cold. I asked her how many men she had said the same things to. She didn’t deny it. Instead, she said, “This is Bangkok. You want love, you go home. You want fun, then pay.”
Learning the Truth About Fawn
I told her I trusted her and felt something was real. She rolled her eyes. “You think I do this for fun? You buy drink, you get smile. You buy dinner, you get hugs. You no pay, you no get nothing.”
That night, I didn’t go back to my hotel right away. I walked for hours around Sukhumvit, trying to figure out how I had been so naive. I remembered the forums, the videos, the warnings and I still let myself believe she was different. The truth is, she wasn’t. I was just another target in a city full of them.
I left Bangkok two days later. My last morning, I got a message from Fawn. It said, “Take care, tilak. I miss you already.” I didn’t reply. I knew she had probably sent the same message to someone else that same morning maybe while sitting at the same table in Thermae where I first met her.
Meeting Dang in Pattaya
I first came to Pattaya in early 2015 after years of listening to stories from friends who’d been. Most of their tales were filled with wild nights, bar girls, and heartbreak. So I arrived with my eyes wide open. I was 42 at the time, recently divorced, living in Perth and working as a plumber. I wasn’t looking for love. I just needed a break a bit of sun, some laughs, and maybe a bit of aerobics to forget the mess my life had become.
I stayed at a small hotel on Soi Buakhao a small balcony overlooking the street and a reliable air conditioner that became my best friend during those humid Thai nights. The staff were friendly and I didn’t ask questions, which suited me just fine. The pool in the back was surprisingly decent, tucked between two wings of the building, and I found myself spending an hour or two each afternoon cooling off with a Chang in hand. Downstairs, the bar was always lively by evening, with a few regulars and plenty of newcomers. The beers were always cold, the music a mix of 80s hits and Thai pop, and the company was easy mostly girls from nearby bars who’d swing by for a drink or a chat, perhaps freelancing. It wasn’t luxurious, but it had character and was the kind of place where anything could happen after dark.
I’d been in town for about four days, bar hopping between LK Metro and Soi Diana, when I walked into a small beer bar just off Soi Chaiyapoon. There were only five girls working, but one of them caught my eye straight away. She wasn’t the loudest or the most glamorous in fact, she looked a little out of place. Her name was Dang. She had soft features, wore no makeup, and had this quiet, tired look in her eyes, like someone who’d lived three lives already. She served me my beer with a shy smile, and I offered her a drink. She asked for a Coke, downed it fast, and slowly started to open up.
She was from a small village right on the Lao border. Her father had died in a motorcycle crash when she was nine, leaving her mother to raise both her and her younger brother alone. Life was hard, and her mother struggled daily, selling grilled chicken outside the local temple on weekends. Dang often skipped school to help out, watching her younger brother or preparing food in the early mornings. At 14, she dropped out entirely to work in a garment factory in Khon Kaen, sharing a tiny room with five other girls and sending most of her salary back home.
Dang Shares Her Past
But when her mother became seriously ill, everything changed. The hospital bills piled up fast, and Dang with no financial safety net and limited options borrowed money from a local loan shark to cover the costs. Unable to keep up with the interest payments and desperate to support her family, she made the heartbreaking decision to leave the factory and try her luck in Pattaya. She arrived with a small bag of clothes. It wasn’t the life she wanted, but she felt she had no choice. Each decision, she told me, was made to protect her family, even if it meant sacrificing herself.
She worked the bar seven nights a week and sent almost everything she earned back to her village. She said she hated the job, hated the way men looked at her, hated the way she had to smile even when she felt dead inside. I believed her. There was no sparkle in her eyes only this quiet dignity that made me feel something I hadn’t felt in years.
We spent the next week together. I paid her bar fine each night (500 baht) and gave her 2,000 baht for her time, but it didn’t feel like a transaction. We didn’t even have aerobics every night. Some nights we just lay in bed watching Thai soap operas while she translated the plot for me in broken English. One night we shared grilled chicken and sticky rice from a nearby vendor, and she told me stories from her village including how she used to catch fish with her brother in the muddy stream behind their house. Another evening we went for a walk along the beach, and she shyly took my hand. She laughed when I tripped over a loose paving stone, and I realized how rare it was to hear her laugh so freely. There was a warmth growing between us, built not on money or expectations but on something quieter and harder to define. We weren’t just spending time together we were slowly opening up to one another, piece by piece.
Dang and I Build a Long Distance Relationship
On my last night, I gave her my number and told her to message me online. I figured I’d never hear from her again but I did. Every day, she sent me photos of her family, her village, and her cooking. Never once did she ask me for money.
After six months of chatting daily, I booked another trip, this time for three weeks. We picked up right where we left off. I stayed in a small condo near Soi 15, and she stayed with me the entire time. She went out and collected breakfast for the two of us every morning. I was in love.
When I got back to Perth, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I spoke to an immigration agent and started the process to bring her over on a tourist visa. It wasn’t easy the paperwork, the proof of relationship, the costs. My friends laughed at me. Told me I was being taken for a ride, that she’d be gone the minute she got her hands on permanent residency. I had my doubts too, but I thought, “I’ll give it a go.”
Dang Builds a Family in Perth
When she came, she didn’t run off to the city or try to find other men. She stayed by my side every day. She helped around the house, cooked amazing Thai meals, took English classes, and got her driver’s license. One night, I came home from work and found her crying in the kitchen. She told me she was pregnant. We hadn’t planned for it. I was scared but I held her. And in that moment, I knew there was no going back.
We got married in a small ceremony at a Thai temple outside of Perth. A few of my closest friends came along. Most of them had changed their tune by then they saw how happy I was, how real she was. She gave birth to our son the following year a beautiful little boy with her eyes and my nose. She stayed home with our son for the first two years, then started working part time at a local Thai grocery store. We had a second child two years later a daughter.
I look back now and I can’t believe how lucky I got. The same girl who once stood behind a bar in Pattaya serving drinks to strangers was now my wife, my partner, the mother of my kids. I still get the odd warning from people here who hear our story. They tell me I’m naive that girls like Dang always go back to their old ways. But they don’t know her. They didn’t see the pain in her eyes when she told me about her past. They didn’t see the pride on her face when she passed her citizenship test. They didn’t see the way she held our kids when they were sick or cried when they took their first step.
I took a risk and it paid off. Not every girl from a beer bar is a heartbreaker. Some are just survivors, looking for someone to believe in them. I’m glad I did.
Dang Settles Into Life in Australia
The first few months after Dang arrived in Australia weren’t easy. She missed her family terribly. She’d cry sometimes at night and scroll through old photographs on her phone. I encouraged her to video call her mom and brother often. Eventually, they started having weekly Sunday calls. I even joined in sometimes, trying my best to use a few Thai phrases and making them all laugh with my pronunciation.
When she started working at the Thai grocery store, she met other Thai women who were also married to Aussies. They invited her to temple events, to weekend markets, and to small dinner parties. At first, she was shy and unsure how to connect with them often standing quietly by herself, just observing and smiling politely. But over time, she started helping with food preparations, teaching others how to make traditional Thai dishes like som tam and pad thai (obviously to the women who weren’t Thai). She learned to laugh at the Aussie slang she didn’t understand and eventually began using it herself.
She struggled with her English early on, but the friendly conversations and patient encouragement from the other Thai women helped her gain confidence. She began looking forward to weekends, dressing up to attend community events with pride. That community didn’t just help her settle it helped her grow into herself, bridging the gap between her past life in Thailand and her new life in Perth.
Visiting Dang Family in Thailand
For our first anniversary, we went back to Thailand together. This time I didn’t stay in a hotel I stayed with her family in their small house in the village. They laid out a thin mattress for me on the floor, cooked big meals over charcoal stoves, and treated me like one of their own. Her uncle gave me some homemade local food that nearly knocked me out it was so spicy. Her mother cried again, this time tears of joy. We donated food to the monks, released fish into the river for good luck, and even helped repair the roof of the local school. That trip changed me. I saw where she came from the struggles, the love, the pride and I understood her more than ever.
Now, nine years later, we still live in Perth. I run my own small plumbing business, and she works at a Thai cafe full time. Our kids are doing well in school. They speak both Thai and English. We go back to Thailand every two years. Dang’s family even came to visit us once, and it was the first time her mom had ever been on a plane.
A Late Night Encounter in Patong Beach
Hi Peter. I just wanted to share a bad experience I recently had in Patong Beach. This was my first time visiting Phuket, and it happened at around 2:00 a.m. when I was walking past some nightlife venues. Two women approached me. One was about my height, and the other was noticeably taller and more solidly built. They were definitely not ladyboys. They offered me a deal, saying it would be 3,000 baht for both of them. Before I could really process what was happening, they pulled me inside one of the go go bars where there were private rooms upstairs. At the front desk, I was asked to pay 1,000 baht up front, plus 500 baht for some items they said were necessary.
We went upstairs, and after everything was over, they suddenly demanded 10,000 baht each. I was shocked and reminded them that they originally said 3,000 baht total. One of them insisted, “No, it’s 10,000 each.” And when I questioned it, she threatened to call her boss.
I’ve watched your stories before, and I knew things could go downhill quickly if that happened. I only had around 19,000 baht on me, and after some back and forth, they eventually agreed to split the 10,000 baht between them and let me go. Afterwards, they offered me a free massage, which I accepted, thinking maybe they were trying to make up for the experience but the massage lasted less than a minute, and it became clear they were trying to push me towards a second round of aerobics. I declined firmly, and they stopped immediately. I honestly believe they were trying to get me to agree so they could demand even more money or bring in someone else to pressure me.
Learning From the Patong Beach Scam
Looking back, it was a rough first experience in Phuket, and I’d recommend others be extremely careful, especially when approached late at night. If you’re looking for companionship or a massage, it’s probably safer to go to a proper massage parlor where you pay at the counter beforehand. And if a girl tries to pull you into a venue you don’t plan to enter, it’s best to politely decline and move on. Also, always check ID if you’re going to spend time with someone and make sure everything is clearly agreed on beforehand. I still don’t know if these two women actually worked at the bar or were just freelancing inside, but I did overhear a quick exchange between one of them and a male staff member as we passed through.
I just wanted to share this to warn others. It wasn’t fun, but I hope someone else avoids the same mistake.
Meeting Nok in Bangkok
I thought I would share my story which happened very recently. I sent you my story of my trip last time I was in Thailand September and October 2024 but I will briefly recap that story before going into more recent events.
I am 38 years old from the north of England, and I would say I’m a well-traveled person. I have visited quite a lot of countries around the world and been a regular traveler since I was 21. You always think nothing can surprise or shock you because you have your head screwed on. I went to Thailand for the third time last October 2024, and I watch all the videos so I know what to look out for but I don’t think I’ve heard one with a situation I found myself in.
I went to Thailand for three weeks, and I was looking forward to meeting all the different types of women bar girls, freelancers, as well as normal girls. I like to experience all the different types of women there without wanting anything serious. I was just casual. I prefer to meet freelancers over bar girls if I’m paying for it, because I find bar girls expensive. By the time you pay the bar fine, all the ladies’ drinks, and then what they charge, freelancers are straight to the point and usually work out a lot cheaper. To be fair, I do like the odd bar girl because I have a laugh and play along with everything, not taking it seriously. And I find it funny when they think I’m being serious playing dumb is a good laugh.
Anyway, I went on the dating app Badoo and fancied meeting a non-working girl. I met a woman from the Philippines who was 42 and lived in Si Racha. I stayed with her a little while, and even though we had some aerobics, I just wasn’t into her and was not feeling it. I had come from Pattaya to meet her. She had a Thai friend let’s call her Nok. I don’t want to say her real name. The Filipina was video-calling Nok, and Nok asked if I had WhatsApp and I gave her my contact.
I was bored with the Filipina and decided to make up an excuse and head back to Pattaya for a few days. I had paid for another six nights in Pattaya, and after having more fun not taking anything seriously I decided to message Nok and we started talking. Nok lives in Bangkok, and I decided to leave Pattaya a day early and spend my last four nights with her before flying back to the UK.
Red Flags Appear at Nok House
Many of the horror stories I hear are about older guys with much younger women, but I don’t hear much about older Thai women. Nok is 48 ten years older than me but Asian women generally look a lot younger than their age, and Nok probably looked mid-30s, I would say.
Nok gave me her address in Bangkok, and I headed down in a taxi from Pattaya. Upon arriving at Nok’s house, I saw her house was up for sale. Nok told me that she was downsizing because it was a pretty big house and she just lives there alone. I thought nothing of it at the time. She gave me a beer, and it was quite early in the afternoon and I could sense she was drunk when I arrived. Red flag.
What happened next? I was in shock and didn’t expect it. Within 20 minutes of being at her house, she dropped her top down on purpose for me to see and then pulled it up again, saying, “Oops, it dropped down by accident” which obviously it hadn’t. I didn’t know what to say. I just laughed it off. She then went upstairs and shouted for me to come up, and she lay on the bed without any clothes on. Red flag again. I didn’t know how to react because I totally didn’t expect any of this it felt awkward after only being at her house for 20 minutes but I went along with it anyway.
The rest of the day, we were just drinking and having a laugh. Even though she was drunk, I could see she was an energetic person always cleaning the house and she cooked a nice meal for me.
Nok Reveals Her Complicated Past
The next day was when we really started talking. She told me about her life. She left Thailand and moved to Singapore when she was 21. She met a man from the UK working there who was a manager for an oil company, and she also lived in Malaysia, Japan, and the UK. She had a child with a Thai man when she was young, and that child is now grown up, lives in Laos, and they no longer speak. She’s only lived back in Thailand for three years and is originally from Khon Kaen.
She said her ex-husband is a wealthy man. They used to fly business class wherever they went, and she had three children with him two daughters and one son who is 18. She showed me pictures of her kids and said they used to go to international school in Singapore but now go to boarding school in Scotland. I can tell you from the pictures, the school looked like a castle and very expensive. She said her ex still works in Singapore.
Nok then told me about her ex. She said he’s a very bad man and that she hates him. She had a good life before, and now she hates living in Thailand. He left her for a younger Japanese woman and filed for divorce. She actually showed me the divorce papers, and there was an agreement. Her ex gave her 4.5 million baht in cash, a house worth 3.5 million baht in Bangkok, and a car. But in return, she could only see the kids on his terms he chooses the dates and books the flights. She sold her car a year ago and no longer has it. Nok’s ex booked her a return flight to the UK for two weeks after I was due back, and she showed me her 10-year UK visit visa with two years left on it. He only booked her one week and provided immigration with a letter with dates and his passport number.
She said I should come get her after she visits her kids and that she could stay with me because the visa allows her up to six months at a time. I wasn’t sure because I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but I thought: when I get back to the UK, it will be winter, dark at 4:00 p.m., and depressing. So I thought, “Why not? It will be company during the winter back home.”
Bringing Nok to the United Kingdom
The day came when I flew back to the UK. I didn’t really have deep feelings for her, but I was excited about having company with a Thai woman, and I wasn’t depressed like I usually am after leaving Thailand. I knew I’d end up spending a fair bit of money taking her for weekends away, meals, and so on which I don’t usually do myself because I prefer saving money for travel. Before Thailand, I had sold a lot of belongings and made decent money. So I decided to use that instead of my salary.
When the date came for her to return from visiting her kids, her son and her ex-husband’s partner were not happy and told her to get the flight back. She called me crying, and I told her to take the return flight and I would book her another to come back a week later.
The day came. I went to the airport to greet her. I had booked a week off work I work four on, four off so I thought the schedule would work out. The first week was great. She was aerobics crazy and always ready. The first big mistake I made was handing over £500 so she could go out while I was at work. Soon problems started. She was buying alcohol and getting paranoid, saying I was younger and would find somebody else. I didn’t want anything serious but played along to keep her happy. The paranoia when she was drunk was exhausting.
She had watched me enter my phone PIN without me noticing and found pictures of me and my ex-wife and went crazy. I explained we didn’t end badly and I had no bad feelings for her, but she kept bringing it up whenever she drank. She found the local pub and started going when I was at work.
Three weeks into her stay, I came home after a 12-hour shift to find her drunk at the pub, surrounded by five men. I took her home, and she shouted that I made her lose face. She was so drunk she could barely walk and smelled badly of alcohol. I said, “I bring you here and this is how you behave? You could have been taken advantage of.” She said again, “You’ll leave me for someone younger and you still love your ex-wife.” That £500 was gone in two weeks, and she stopped drinking unless I paid for it, so I had to control it.
Nok Has a Drinking Problem
When she wasn’t drinking, she was really nice. She cleaned the house, cooked Thai meals, massaged me after work, and even sorted all of my socks. She was very caring in that way. But more things started to come out. She had a heart attack in May 2024 and died for five minutes. She showed me proof and pictures. She also told me she got drunk in a casino in Singapore, missed her flight, lost all of her money, and no one would send money until a friend finally helped. That confirmed for me she had a drinking problem. When she had money, she drank constantly. She didn’t drink when I didn’t buy any.
She talked about wanting to get married, and I played along. She asked about a sin sod (dowry), and I told her I’m not paying a dowry for a 48-year-old woman with four kids. She said her ex paid one, but I reminded her she was in her early 20s back then. She wanted me to work six months in the UK, then live six months in Thailand. I agreed to come for her birthday in May, and she wanted to stay at a five-star hotel.
I questioned how someone who got 4.5 million baht, a house, and a car had no money left. She said she never worked a day in her life and was a housewife while her ex paid for everything. For someone with no money, she was also quite snobbish always telling people she lived in Singapore, Japan, and Malaysia, and that her kids go to boarding school.
In January, I took her to a Thai party with my Thai friends from work. She had never been to one and didn’t like mixing with other Thai people when she lived abroad. She got so drunk at the party, she embarrassed me in front of everyone. My friends had to tell me to take her home. One person even said, “Good luck. You’ll need it.” I felt humiliated and dreaded going back to work, but they were kind and didn’t say anything negative. I knew then I wanted her gone but I didn’t know how. She still had three and a half months left. I played along but only enjoyed the aerobics.
Then, good news came. Her estate agent called and said her house had sold and she had to return in three weeks to sign the paperwork. I was thrilled. She didn’t drink the last three weeks and acted normal, trying to leave a good impression on me but the damage had already been done. I took her to the airport and waited until she was through security. She cried, said she loved me, and “See you in May, darling.” I said the same but had no intention of seeing her again.
Nok Leaves and Asks for Money
The day after she got home, she asked for money, crying and saying she lost the 4.5 million baht, took loans, had to sell her house, and now had nothing. She asked for money for a hotel and food. I said no, because even if I paid it once, she’d ask again and again. I have no sympathy for someone who had all that and lost it all. She sends me pictures of hotels and messages trying to make me jealous, saying she will find someone else. I just replied, “Good luck. All the best. I know Thailand and no guy is going to take on a 48-year-old woman seriously. She will only have flings.”
I asked my Thai friends their honest opinion, and they told me no one liked her. They all thought she was a snob and very drunk.
The Lessons I Learned From Nok
Overall, I was never seriously into her, but I learned many lessons. Never take the lion out of the jungle. Once they leave their country, they change. Nok wasn’t like the warm, smiling Thai woman you usually meet. She had been spoiled all of her life and didn’t know how to manage anything when left on her own. I now understand why her ex left her she likely drank and gambled his money away but made him out to be the bad guy. When she was sober, she was good company, but she had too many problems and demons. I don’t regret any of it, but I would never do anything like that again, and others should be cautious too. Some people could fall for this and lose thousands. It wouldn’t matter if I gave her £10 or £10,000 nothing would help her.
I want to end this story, Peter, by warning your viewers. If you ever come across a Thai woman with a visa who has lived in your country, you might think it’s easy to bring her back but they’ve often been sent back for a reason by their ex-husbands.
I do love Thailand, and I will be moving there this September to teach English, and I hope to meet you for a beer. The only type of Thai woman I will now consider as a partner is someone a lot younger who is educated and has a good job and there are many like that in the cities. You’d be surprised how many are actually independent. My attitude now when I return to Thailand is that foreigners need to think like Thai men. A Thai man doesn’t put up with any nonsense and wouldn’t be with someone who is damaged goods. If more people thought like Thai men, they’d avoid a lot of problems. This is my lesson to take away for when I move to Thailand.
