Steve And Ploy Bar Girl Marriage Story

I would like to tell you a true story about a friend of mine who married a Thai bar girl and brought her back to the UK. For the sake of this story, I will call my friend Steve. Of course, that isn’t his real name. This story goes back about 25 years ago.

Becoming Friends In Bangkok

I first met Steve in a bar on Sukhumvit Soi 4 late in the afternoon. The bar was very quiet, other than Steve and I, there were no other customers in the bar. So naturally, we got talking, as often happens with guys in bars.

At the time, I was living in Bangkok as I had employment here. It just so happens that Steve also lived full time in Bangkok, but he was about 12 years older than me and was now retired. You know when you occasionally meet someone and you just click, you get on very well. This was the case with Steve and me. We became instant friends and would meet most nights and frequent the bars.

One thing we had in common, we both didn’t think much of Patpong, so we never went there. Our nights out normally took the same routine. We would start off at Soi Cowboy for the earlier part of the evening. Eventually, we would head over to Nana Plaza, and at weekends especially, we would end up in the Thermae Cafe. In those days, the Thermae stayed open nearly all night.

We also went to Pattaya at least once a month, where we would hit Walking Street, which at that time was completely different to what you see now. Walking Street is so much more commercialized than what it was back then. It was a place that guys went to let off steam. These days, it’s full of Chinese and Indian tour groups along with Western couples.

Nothing to do with the story, but I just thought I would mention that back then, the girls were very much more pleasant than they are today.

Rose Bar And Ploys First Night

At the time, Steve had an apartment on Soi 3, just across the street, so he used to take the girls back to his apartment, very close. Back then, the girls always wanted to stay all night rather than short time, as there were usually four to six of them sharing a room without air conditioning. So to sleep in a nice air conditioned room was something to look forward to for them.

Steve and I both agreed that we never wanted full time girlfriends as we were having so much fun. There were just so many beautiful girls to choose from back then.

One of the bars we used to visit upon first entering Nana Plaza, and before hitting the go-go bars, was a small bar called the Rose Bar, which is no longer there. It was on the second floor where Spanky’s go-go bar is now located. There used to be two bars where Spanky’s is, the Red Rose Bar and next door to it was the Hogs Breath. We would always have our first drink in the Red Rose as you could sit outside on the balcony and people-watch as people were coming and going from the plaza.

Neither Steve nor I had ever bar fined a girl from the Rose Bar because, while it was a nice quiet bar to people-watch from, the quality of the girls, well, let’s just say they weren’t the A team. They were all nice girls and very friendly, but they weren’t the sort of girls Steve or I were interested in. Certainly not to bar fine.

Anyway, one day we decided to meet up early in the evening and have dinner, then have a few quiet ones in the plaza as it was a midweek, maybe a Tuesday or a Wednesday. As usual, after dinner, we headed to the Red Rose for a beer.

Upon entrance, Steve immediately noticed a girl he had never seen before and pointed her out to me. This one kind of broke the mold, as she was very pretty and petite. Again, for the sake of the story, we’ll call her Ploy.

Ploys First Night In Bangkok

The story goes that it was Ploy’s first ever night working in a bar in Bangkok. She had one young daughter back in Isaan and had been abused by her arranged husband. According to the owner of the bar, who we knew well, she hadn’t ever been bar fined as it was her first night in the bar. We had no reason to think this was untrue as we had never seen her in the Rose Bar before. However, obviously she could have come from another bar in another part of Bangkok or another city. But she was very shy, you could tell from her nervous smile when we looked at her.

Steve was the kind of guy that even if he didn’t find her attractive, he would have bar fined her anyway. It would have given him satisfaction knowing that he had been her first customer in the bar. But things turned out very different from a short term transaction, which is what would normally happen.

Steve Falls In Love With Ploy

Both Steve and I had heard all the stories that the bar girls normally tell you when you’re in a bar, you know the kind of thing: “I’ve only just started in this bar tonight,” or “I don’t go out with customers, I just make money on the commission from the drinks,” or “I have a sick mother, so I’m working to buy her medicine.” The normal sort of stuff.

Steve bought Ploy a drink. Her English was nearly non existent, and there were no translation apps back then, so I don’t know how they communicated. Steve paid Ploy’s bar fine. I ended up staying in Nana Plaza by myself but eventually met a little cutie who kept me entertained that night. I didn’t think anything unusual about our night out, as we had both met someone and gone our separate ways. This was normal.

Over the next few weeks, we tended to stay in the Rose Bar longer than we normally had, which I kind of found irritating and boring because, although it was a nice quiet bar to have the first beer in, it wasn’t the sort of place you’d want to spend a couple of hours in. Steve was getting into a habit of paying the bar fine as soon as he arrived at the bar, then we’d go off, hit some go-go bars, and Steve would go back to the Rose Bar to pick up Ploy.

This was happening more and more, and eventually I told Steve that I would hit a few bars by myself and when he was ready to meet up, he could call me.

These were the days where the mobile phone was just starting to come into existence. I think we both had the original Nokia, remember those little brick phones about 4 inches long? Anyway, after a while, I noticed Steve didn’t want to come out as often as we had been going out in the evenings. When I phoned him in the afternoon, there would always be some reason why he didn’t want to meet up: he was feeling tired; he’d been shopping all day; he was expecting a phone call from his son in England; or he was meeting a lady he had met in the daytime in a shopping mall.

Don’t get me wrong, he would still meet me and we would still go out, but it was just getting less and less frequent. After a while, it kind of fizzled out to the point where I gave up calling him as he would always have an excuse. So I would meet up with other friends. We still chatted now and again, he would call me in the afternoon or I would call him, and we would have long conversations about what we had done the previous day and so on.

Steve Confesses Over Coffee

One Sunday afternoon, I think it was, I wasn’t doing a lot. So I called Steve and I said, “Look, it’s been ages since we’ve met up. Why don’t we meet up for lunch one day in the week and we can catch up?” To which he agreed. After lunch, we decided to go somewhere quiet and have a coffee. It was while having coffee that I pressed Steve and said, “Look, you’re not the same. What’s happened? Do I put it down to old age, or do you have some problems going on? I’m your best friend. You can trust me. If you have any issues or problems, maybe I can help.”

That’s when Steve confessed everything to me. He went on to explain that he had fallen deeply and madly in love with Ploy. At first, it had been purely physical and nothing more than that. He went on to explain that over time he had fallen head over heels for Ploy and couldn’t stand the thought of her leaving the bar with other guys.

Unbeknown to me, he had moved Ploy into his apartment, which explains why he was no longer going out in the evenings. It all made sense to me now. Steve’s reasoning was that he wouldn’t have problems like other guys who have dated bar girls, as she only started in the bar that first night when we had met her and hadn’t been exposed to other farangs.

I said, “Steve, look, how do you know she didn’t go out on short time after you paid her bar fine and got back before the end of the night? If she wasn’t there and you got there first, she could have simply said she’d nipped out for something to eat. How can you be sure that she didn’t work in another bar in some other entertainment venue?”

It was like talking to a brick wall. I just couldn’t get through to him. He had made up his mind and had decided that Ploy was the love of his life.

Something I didn’t mention was that Steve was 60 at the time and Ploy had just turned 40. I didn’t really see too much of Steve after that lunch. However, we did keep in touch by phone, and he would always update me and tell me how happy he was living with Ploy. She hadn’t raised any red flags, and he had no reason to suspect anything. I was fully expecting to receive a call from Steve one day telling me how she had robbed his apartment or gone off with another farang, but I never did get that phone call.

Moving Ploy To The UK

The next bit of news from Steve was even more shocking than what he had told me over that last lunch. Steve decided he was going to move back to the UK full time. He was going to take Ploy with him, marry her, and take Ploy’s daughter to the UK also, who had been living with them in Steve’s apartment in Bangkok.

What could I say? I wished him the best of luck and told him to keep in touch, which he promised he would.

Life In The UK And Steves Death

The day finally came for Steve, Ploy, and her daughter to fly out of the old Don Mueang Airport to start a new life in the UK. Good to his word, Steve did keep in touch and would occasionally send me an email with details of what was going on in their lives. So far, so good, according to him. This was when email was in its infancy, I think we were using Windows 3.1 back then.

After about a year of Steve moving back to the UK, my employment in Bangkok had also come to an end and I was unable to find a similar job in Thailand. So I made the decision to also head back to the UK.

About 5 years had passed and I hadn’t heard anything from Steve. I had lost his email address, so couldn’t contact him. I was sure he would contact me sometime in the future so I would have his email address again, but he never did.

Anyway, one day out of the blue, I get an email, and it’s from Ploy. The English was far, far from perfect, but I understood most of the message. Ploy told me that she got my email address off Steve’s computer. Ploy went on to explain to me that Steve had died several weeks earlier of a massive heart attack. This news was devastating to me, as Steve had been my best friend in Thailand. And although I hadn’t spoken to him for years, it really made me sad when I heard the news.

Ploy and I exchanged several emails, and the story goes something like this.

Not long after arriving in the UK, Steve bought a very nice house in a town called Oxford and paid for it in cash. The house had been paid for fully, so had no mortgage left on it. Steve had also set up a trust fund for Ploy’s daughter to go to a private school later on in life when she was a bit older.

Ploy Becomes A Wealthy Widow

Steve was a fairly well off guy, so I know he probably had several hundred thousand in his bank account, which Ploy would now have access to. In a nutshell, Ploy had been left a wealthy widow with a house that she now owned, a lot of money in the bank, a car, jewelry, and of course the trust fund for her daughter. I found all this out later.

Funeral And Chris Warning

At the point of the first email that I received from Ploy, I asked Ploy when Steve’s funeral was taking place and would she mind if I came along and paid my respects. Ploy was very happy for me to go along to Steve’s funeral and also suggested I come back to the house where she would be holding a small party for friends.

On the day I attended Steve’s funeral, it was winter, so very cold. It was a very sad occasion for me personally, as I had so many fond memories of the good times Steve and I had had together in Bangkok. It’s surprising how many memories flood the brain when you’re in a situation like that. It was difficult for me to hold back my tears, as he had been a good friend and although I hadn’t seen him for years, I felt that I had lost someone very close to me.

After the funeral, we all headed back to Ploy’s house, where there was a lot of Thai food laid out on a table. This is when I first met Chris, Steve’s son. Chris was a nice guy, but he went on to tell me that he really never liked Ploy and felt there was something not right about her. Steve was quite angry that Ploy would receive much of his father’s estate.

Chris was the one who told me about Steve’s finances. I was quite surprised how open he was about discussing his father’s financial situation, I suppose he just wanted to speak to someone about it. And Steve had mentioned to Chris that we had been good friends in Thailand.

So, this part of the story was done and dusted for me. I went back home and carried on with my life. I never really heard anything about Ploy until years later.

Ploy Returns To Thailand

Apparently, after Steve’s death, Ploy sold the family home in Oxford, sold the car, emptied her daughter’s trust fund along with Steve’s bank account. Ploy then returned to Thailand with her daughter and went to live for a while upcountry where she was from. She paid cash to have a house built for her mother in Isaan. She also bought a brand new pickup truck for her brother and generally spent a lot of cash while in Isaan.

Ploy eventually moved back to Bangkok and left her daughter with her mother to take care of. Ploy opened a massage parlor with what money she had left. Apparently, she also liked to gamble. The massage parlor was located somewhere around Sukhumvit, but for some reason it didn’t work out and she lost all of the money that she had invested, probably it was a bad location off some side street.

Desperate for money and now approaching 50, Ploy took a job in a beer bar on Soi 4, where apparently she still works today.

Ploy was a bar girl success story. She had it all. She met a farang who swept her off her feet and took her to England and set her up with her daughter for life. Today, she is in exactly the same place she was all those years ago, desperate for money and working in a beer bar.

There’s an old saying that is bandied around by foreigners in Thailand and has been for years. It’s still relevant today, “You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can never take the bar out of the girl.”

A Night In Thai Jail In Phuket

I have a story for you that took place around 3 years ago. At the time, I was 22 years old and living in Vietnam teaching English. I had never really been a serious drinker when I was back in the States, my home country, but after moving to Asia, the exciting nightlife really brought that side out of me.

Me and my friend used to hang around the red light district in Ho Chi Minh City quite a bit, but that was peanuts compared to what I was about to experience. I wasn’t moving to Thailand permanently, but I had just finished my Vietnam experience, which had been quite similar. I needed to do a visa run before re entering Vietnam. I planned to stay in Thailand for just a couple of nights, enjoy the beach during the day and the nightlife at night. But after experiencing it for just one day, I decided to stay longer. I settled in Phuket for my daily activities.

One night, I was riding my motorbike from my hotel to Patong at around 8:30 p.m., which was about a 15-minute ride away. I had learned from past Southeast Asian nights out to only bring around $60 with me when going out partying. If I brought my entire wallet, it usually ended up with me waking up the next morning a couple of hundred dollars poorer and with a stranger in my bed. I didn’t want that to happen. So I set off to Bangla Road with around 2,000 baht in my pocket.

I did my usual routine of pre gaming with a small bottle of cheap 7-Eleven vodka on the beach to save money and get a buzz before hitting the bars and clubs. I was completely dumbstruck by how awesome the nightlife was in Phuket. Beautiful girls were walking around everywhere, and the party vibe was perfect. It really did have the best all round welcoming vibe, much more so than Vietnam.

I got into drinking at the bars and dancing with girls. By around midnight, I had already spent all of my money. I’m not even sure how I blew it so fast, probably buying drinks for a lady friend. Needless to say, I was pretty drunk by this point. I had to take my motorbike home as I didn’t have enough money for a cab. Thinking back, I could have handled things better.

I walked around the beach for a bit to try to sober up. Once I felt reasonably okay, I made a huge mistake.

Arrest Near Patong

In Vietnam, drinking and driving isn’t really considered a serious offense. I had done it many times. If I got pulled over, I would usually slip the cop about $40 and be on my way. I thought it would be the same in Thailand. I didn’t realize that Thailand had recently started cracking down hard on drunk drivers. The country has one of the highest rates of motorbike related deaths in the world.

So I headed back towards my hotel, still a bit buzzed but feeling okay. As I left Patong, everything looked clear, and I honestly wasn’t even thinking about getting pulled over. Then I made a left turn and saw police lights, many officers, and a few unfortunate foreigners already pulled over. This didn’t concern me too much based on my previous experience in Southeast Asia.

A young, tall Thai officer flashed his flashlight into my eyes and signaled for me to pull over. He demanded I turn off the bike and step off, which I did. Then he said, “You must be drunk,” and pulled out his breathalyzer. I had spent a good amount of time trying to sober up and wasn’t even 100% sure I’d fail the test. I blew into the device, and it read 0.7.

I thought, “Great, I’ve passed.” In the US, the legal limit is 0.8, but apparently in Thailand, it’s 0.5 or lower. I can’t remember exactly. The cops lit up like they had just caught me committing a murder. The officer said, “You cannot drive.” That’s when it hit me, this wasn’t like Vietnam. In Vietnam, the cops didn’t get this excited about drunk drivers.

I tried to reason with them, telling them I wasn’t drunk and that my headlight was just broken. Then I asked how much money they wanted, and I told them to follow me to my hotel where I would pay them. They just said no and led me away. They told me to get into a truck and wait there while they continued pulling people over.

As I was walking towards the truck, I saw another unlucky American guy getting the same treatment. I got into the truck and found five other foreigners already sitting there. I asked them what’s going on and if we could just pay them off. A Canadian guy looked at me and said, “That’s not going to work, man.” That’s when it really hit me, this was bad.

Breath Test At Police Station

The Canadian told me not to worry, though. He had a plan. He said they were going to officially breathalyze us again at the station, but if we had a penny in our mouth, it would throw off the reading. I thought to myself, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” But he really believed in it and gave us each a penny just in case.

They took us to the police station, and we sat down at a big table. Some time went by, and just as the Canadian predicted, they went around with a breathalyzer again. He was first. I was curious to see if his trick worked. He blew a ridiculously high number. His theory was officially confirmed as nonsense.

They went around the rest of us. On the second test, I blew a 0.6. That’s when everything hit the fan. We were both further into the police station.

Phuket Jail Cell

They took all our possessions, fingerprinted us, and documented our entry. Then we were placed into a cell. The cell was bare, no blankets, no pillows, no comfort of any kind. It held about 11 people, six Thai guys with tattoos and five foreigners. There was just one hole in the ground for everyone to use as a toilet. The noise from the neighboring cells made those walls seem paper thin.

As they were placing us inside, I asked them what I could do to get out. They didn’t respond, just uncuffed me and shut the door. I was full on panicking at this point.

The Thai guys, mostly young men with tattoos, seemed amused by how scared we were. It was as if they had seen this all before. One Australian guy with us suddenly started screaming and yelling. At the time, I thought it was genuine, but looking back, I think it was an act. He said he needed his medicine from his hotel room or he was going to die. He put on quite a show, and it didn’t help my anxiety at all. Thankfully, the police escorted him out of the cell.

Eventually, I couldn’t help but fall asleep. I used my t-shirt as a pillow and managed maybe 4 hours of sleep. Waking up in that tiny jail cell was probably the worst feeling I’ve ever had in my life. The hangover didn’t help either. I was thirsty as hell and noticed only the Thai guys had snacks and water. I asked the guard for water and was ignored. But one Thai guy saw me struggling and gave me some water from his bottle. I thanked him deeply. It was the first positive interaction I’d had in there.

It was Friday night when I was arrested, and I didn’t realize the courts wouldn’t open up until Monday. I thought I’d just pay a fine and I’d be out. I chatted with the other foreigners and made a few friends.

Bail And Missing Phone

Eventually, the guards announced our bail bond would be $1,200. I forget the exact baht amount, but that’s what I remember. They gave us our phones back briefly so we could contact someone to bring the money. Everyone else had someone to call, but I told them I was alone and needed to return to my hotel to pay. They agreed.

The next day, when everyone else had gone and it was my turn, my phone was missing. I told the guard, who said he’d look for it. He didn’t come back for ages. Meanwhile, everyone else was on their phones except me. He finally returned and said, “Phone not here.” That was it. I felt horrible. What was I going to do now? How long would I be stuck in here?

All of my cellmates were slowly released after paying their $1,200 bail. I asked each one to contact the US embassy for me. When they got out, they promised they would.

Kindness Of Strangers

That second night, I was alone in a cell with six Thai guys who surprisingly turned out to be some of the kindest people I’d ever met. They had people dropping off food and drinks for them. When they saw I was hungry, they shared everything. They even gave me a pillow. Later, when they brought out cigarettes, I looked on with envy. They noticed and offered me some. We smoked and joked in broken English all night. They were truly awesome guys.

I learned they were all in there for substance-related offenses. Each had the option to pay a huge fine or spend 3 to 5 years in prison. Apparently, each year spent in prison reduced the fine by 100,000 baht, and they were waiting for it to drop enough to afford it.

Despite everything, I was genuinely enjoying their company. This was one of the most real cultural experiences I’ve ever had. One guy’s girlfriend even snuck in some banana moonshine from Vietnam. It wasn’t much, but strong enough to get us all a bit tipsy. We played simple games like flicking a folded paper into each other’s hands to pass the time. I showed them one I had learned in high school, and they loved it.

They told me not to worry. Drunk driving wasn’t as serious for foreigners as it was for Thais. They advised me not to pay the bail, but wait until court, where the fine would be lower and reduced by the time served. That turned out to be true.

Court And Kind Officer

Monday morning came, and I was brought to court. It was a long, strange process. I was shackled and waiting in a crowded holding area. An old Thai man, clearly mentally unwell, was walking around shouting. It was a surreal experience. Eventually, I saw the judge. Everything was conducted in Thai.

I noticed all the other foreigners I was arrested with were dressed clean and neat, while I looked like I’d been sleeping on cement for 3 days. We all got minimum penalties between 2,000 and 3,000 baht, discounted for the nights we had already spent in jail. But I still didn’t have any money.

So what happened next? Believe it or not, a Thai police officer who worked in the prison section offered to pay my fine if I paid him back with an extra 500 baht. I happily agreed.

The story doesn’t end there, though. When I returned to the police station the next day to repay the officer and collect my passport (which they had retrieved from my hotel), something strange happened. As I was walking out of the building, I saw the police chief walking towards the station with a very attractive girl. I whistled to the officer next to me and signaled “hot girl alert.” He looked at me and asked if I wanted to get a massage with him, or maybe something else. I asked what he meant, and he said he knew the girl and that he could give a nice massage and other services. I declined, thinking this might be some sort of a setup.

Just goes to show you where the local police department’s priorities were.

Lessons Learned In Thai Jail

Anyway, that’s my story.

Lesson learned, Don’t drink and drive in Thailand. Another lesson learned: Thai people can be some of the kindest people in the world. The guys who helped me in jail were lifesavers. I even returned later with boxes of sweets, soldiers, and cigarettes hidden at the bottom of rice boxes to thank them. They were great people. I hope to meet them again someday and thank them one last time.