A Journey Through Southeast Asia in Search of Love

I am planning to be married by the end of 2026. As I write this, my Thai girlfriend of Chinese descent – let’s call her Flower – and I are still trying to figure out our future together. So I remain hopeful, but you just never know. Bringing two lives together from different cultures and countries isn’t an easy task. Thanks, Canada, for refusing a visa for my girl to visit me twice so far – and hopefully not a third.

So I hope your Western viewers who are searching for love in Thailand are aware that dating and falling in love isn’t all rainbows and unicorns once you take it to the next level.

When I started my search for a life partner in Southeast Asia, I did so mostly because the juice wasn’t worth the squeeze with modern feminist Western women from my point of view. Perhaps I’m not a catch from their point of view in return. So off I went with no hard feelings on my part. It’s a shame what’s happening on the dating market in Canada where I live the past 10 years or so. We should all go where we are wanted, but it would be nice to make choices with no judgment as long as it hurts no one.

I say this because the “passport bro” movement certainly has raised the eyebrows of many Western women. It’s truly bizarre to me because they don’t want the men anyway that are searching for love elsewhere.

As mentioned in my first story, I ended up whittling down the many women I was chatting with on Tinder to meeting a lovely girl in Saigon, Vietnam. Unfortunately, this love story came to an abrupt end thanks to some deceit on her behalf – but with no hard feelings and a great learning experience had by me. After this, I met my hopefully forever love, but we were very on and off for a year, so I continued my search for love.

Ho Chi Minh City, Singapore, and the Search Continues

In a hole after visiting Thailand twice to meet Flower, I was about to go visit her for a third time in the middle of 2023. However, we kept bickering about silly stuff – mostly due to communication issues – so I canceled my flight and told her after that I did so. She had already booked flights for us to Singapore, so she was rightfully upset with me. It took a lot of work to win her back after this, but I obviously managed to do so eventually.

When our fledgling relationship ended, I went back to Tinder. This time I decided to meet a few other girls while traveling around – not just focus on one again. I ended up in Saigon for most of my one-month trip in June 2023 to spend time with two lovely girls who have proper jobs – one a flight attendant for VietJet, and the other a manager in an accounting department for a large Western company.

The 22-year-old flight attendant was flighty, so it was one day and over – no aerobics, unfortunately. She was out of a magazine but immature and cocky. I would have simply enjoyed aerobics with her, but that wasn’t to be.

So the next day I met the manager – a 31-year-old divorced woman with a bit of a chip on her shoulder. But I understand her chip because I have one as well. We got along well and ended up together the first night. Wow – even non-bar girls are something to experience.

However, my trip was a little boring because most days I was alone while she worked. And I’m not one to take advantage of the bar scene or hanging out with those bar girls. And because I did most of the tourist stuff with my first Vietnamese girlfriend the first time I visited Saigon, I pretty much wandered around the city grabbing a coffee and trying local restaurants. I only saw my girl whenever she could make the time.

Meeting Other Women in Saigon and Bangkok

Oddly enough, my new girl had a business trip to Bangkok while I was visiting her, so I followed her to spend time with her in Bangkok whenever she had free time after her day was done. While in Bangkok, we had a little disagreement which drove a wedge between us, so I told her that maybe it’s best to move on. She agreed.

I decided to then meet a girl from Bangkok who I had chatted with as well. She was happy to hear from me. We spent a few days together in the evenings when she was done with her office job hours – to eat dinner and enjoy aerobics. But as quick as it started, it was time for me to head back home. After a few days, her English wasn’t great and we weren’t that compatible. We both realized we weren’t meant to be and parted ways.

I had a flight out of Saigon to get back home to Canada which I couldn’t change. My flight from Bangkok to Saigon to catch my flight home was actually also booked with the Vietnamese girl. We hadn’t spoken after we ended our short time together, but we met at the airport and we rekindled our interest in one another while waiting for the flight. We enjoyed our time together minus a disagreement which I can’t even recall what it was about – but she certainly had a stubborn attitude to her, as I do, so we were both at fault.

We continued to chat long distance after I arrived home, so we decided to meet again in October 2023 to visit Tokyo and spend time with her in Saigon again.

The Tokyo Disaster

October came quickly, and I was very busy before heading to Japan, so I didn’t have much time to plan the trip properly. She wanted me to, but I relied on her. She wasn’t too pleased with that – as I should have been more involved with the planning.

Never visit Tokyo as a tourist unless you’re fully prepared. The scope of it – things to do, places to see, and public transport hiccups – caused some friction between us within a couple of hours. I teased her about missing an earlier train to take to our hotel, and the fireworks immediately began. Sarcasm definitely isn’t part of the Vietnamese culture.

She was ready to sleep on the streets. She disappeared on me. I didn’t have a SIM card, so no idea where I was and no money on me. She basically stranded me. But I luckily figured out where our hotel was, and I had her luggage. A couple of hours later she messaged me and met me at the hotel to pick up her luggage. I apologized through gritted teeth because the trip was planned around her.

We worked through it, did some aerobics, and started the vacation from hell. The next day – I would need to visit Japan again to get a proper experience. I was fighting jet lag, the girl, and public transit the whole six days we were there. I was so frustrated with her attitude – as she was with me – that I didn’t even want aerobics with her after the first night, even though aerobics with her was fun and probably would have been the only highlight of the trip.

Anyway, at the airport when we were leaving, it was a smile and good luck – nothing else needed to be said. We simply went our separate ways.

Singapore: The Taiwanese Girl and the Filipina Helper

I went to Bangkok to check out the progress of a condo development where I bought a condo and also changed up the rest of my trip. I still went to Saigon for a few days after a quick trip to Singapore, since I had the flights booked and I didn’t want to lose any more money.

After a few days alone brooding in my hotel in Sukhumvit – where I also got my first ever forced happy-ending massage (but I must say, an experience all men should have) – I booked four days in Singapore to visit for the first time. I scheduled to meet three girls for dates while there.

One I truly liked – a well-educated Taiwanese girl working and living in SG for the past 8 years. She met me at the airport and we spent the first three days of the four days I was there together. We held hands, kissed, laughed, and talked a lot. We enjoyed our time together immensely, but there were no aerobics. Even though there was a tension between us, she didn’t like our age gap. I am white, so her parents would have frowned on it. And the long distance with no plans to live in SG was the biggest issue. She isn’t about to leave her job for an old white boy from across the ocean – is basically what she was saying. We have remained friends to this day.

The second girl – a Filipino helper I was supposed to meet – was planned as more of a hookup with potential for more. But because I was enjoying my time with my Taiwanese buddy, I decided to pass. She was disappointed but appreciated my honesty. She’s a real sweetheart. She has gone back to the Philippines since then – a true sweetheart, like most Filipinos I’ve ever spoken to.

Which leads me on to the third girl. I met her on my last day before leaving Singapore to go to Saigon. I met another Filipino helper I had scheduled to potentially meet. I only met her when the Taiwanese girl and I – on my second-to-last night in Singapore – had the discussion that we are better off as friends.

Meeting Spirit in Singapore

On the afternoon of my last day, I met a very spirited Filipina – let’s call her Spirit – who has definitely found a place in my heart. We met as she was walking her employer’s dogs in a beautiful park. We spent quality time chatting and exercising, and then she invited me to the condo gym where we worked out together. After a good workout and a kiss, I left and then explored another part of the park before heading back to my hotel – where there were some jerk monkeys. Watch out for those monkeys.

I ended up getting slightly turned around and set off an alarm at a water filtration park I wasn’t supposed to cross. I thought I was going to get arrested, but they were nice and got me back on the path. Spirit actually messaged me asking where I was, and I told her the situation. She immediately came to find me, brought me water, made me a sandwich, and sent me on my way again. I mean – she was perfect.

The next morning – the morning of my flight out of SG – we met again. Her employer hadn’t left at the time they were supposed to, so she was late meeting me at the MRT stop. It didn’t give as much time before I had to catch my flight. She told me to follow her, so I did. She snuck me to her room where we had some quick aerobics – for our one and only time – before sending me off again. I then met my Taiwanese buddy at the airport for a final hug goodbye before going to Saigon for my third and last time in the foreseeable future.

The Bar Girl Ex and the Limits of Patience

While in Saigon, I spent some more time mostly alone, but I did get a second happy-ending massage and enjoyed it way too much. So that was my last – I can see it leading down a rabbit hole. I fully appreciate the appeal for fun like that now.

I also saw my first girlfriend once at a bar on Pasteur Street she was working at, to say hello. This happened to be my first experience at a bar with bar girls. I was very uncomfortable with the atmosphere. I brought her a couple of ladies’ drinks as she explained to me how she made money, ordered out some food for us, and then politely made my escape from the loud music when the night was just starting out.

I couldn’t believe the job she does. She arrives at 7:00 p.m., leaves anywhere between 3:00 and 6:00 a.m. depending on the night, entertains clients, drinks all night, fools around all night with different guys, loud music, smoky – 7 days a week on a six-month contract at a time. And who knows about her after-hour activities after the bar? I didn’t ask about that because I didn’t want to know or make her feel uncomfortable with those types of questions.

When I was there, I saw my first glimpse of a guy in his 60s – I’m guessing – fooling around with two early 20 beauties at the same time, kissing one and then the other, and then grabbing them everywhere. So use your imagination. One of the girls is a good friend of my ex, and she looked straight into my eyes as I watched her while she was making out with the guy. I turned quickly, but I felt her eyes on me as I’m sure she felt my judgment and empathy. I left soon after that. It’s a way to make money and they need the money, but it’s just too crazy for me. I knew my limits.

The Filipina Long-Distance Dilemma

Throughout my week in Saigon, I spent most of my time video chatting with Spirit. We got along very well, but reality set in for me. She was under contract until May 2024 and told me she was going to sign again, but her employer was about to give birth and wanted her. They also promised Spirit they would be traveling to Bali and England throughout the year and that they would be taking her along. She wanted to keep a long-distance relationship until she was free, but I wasn’t willing to wait that long.

I decided to end things when I left Saigon to go visit Chiang Mai for my first time – to meet a woman I had chatted with online when I first went on Tinder and kept in touch with her.

Honey: The Wealthy Woman I Couldn’t Love

With 6 days left on my vacation, it was time to meet a woman who I knew was very serious about getting into a relationship. Closer to my age, wealthy, independent, no children, and very feminine – we’ll call her Honey.

I got a hotel, but half the time I slept at her house just outside the city. She treated me like a king. I mean, guys – this is the kind of woman that a good man deserves. But I’m not a good man because I just couldn’t fall in love with her. For one reason: she is a beautiful woman – sexy body, well-kept, smart – but for me, when I see a woman who has had obvious plastic surgery, it doesn’t attract me. However, everything else about her was screaming at me to commit.

After a wonderful 9 days exploring Chiang Mai with a sexy personal tour guide who satisfied my needs and checked most of my boxes, it was time to fly back to Bangkok for my final days before heading home. We said our goodbyes, and I promised to be back to see her even though I didn’t have a physical attraction for her.

While in Bangkok, I met up with Flower quickly where we enjoyed dinner together but parted ways angrily. We definitely have fire for one another and always have. I hope we can both tone that fire down, though. Still a work in progress.

Anyway, because Flower and I were still on the outs, I planned my next visit to January and February 2024 around spending time with Honey.

Bangkok and Koh Samui with Honey

I arrived in Bangkok early January 2024 and I spent the first week alone exploring the usual sites and enjoying the food. I got an Airbnb in the Phrom Phong area, but it was a bit uncomfortable because I had to sneak in and out since short-term stays aren’t allowed at the condo development where I stayed. Lovely condo, pool and amenities, but I checked out early and got a refund because I didn’t want any problems.

Honey then met me at a hotel in the Chinatown area. We spent two weeks there. The hotel was a bit rundown – definitely not a four-star as advertised – but we made the best of it. First time getting on those river taxis – my personal highlight – and what a great way to get around Bangkok. Cheapest way as well, from what I’ve found. Always something new to discover in Bangkok every time I go – from a huge night market out of nowhere to a supersized mall to an old Buddhist temple to restaurants and everything else Bangkok has to offer. I love it.

During this stay, Honey and I got to know one another better. A very sweet person and wanting a simple life with a man to love who loves her back. I found communicating with her difficult because she never initiated conversation and seemed always worried about saying something wrong. And I had a hard time looking past the plastic Barbie ladyboy look that seems to have become a beauty standard here. It boggles my mind why this is. Aerobics was okay, but it was seldom and I forced myself.

Still, I committed to spending time with her, and we had a week’s stay in Koh Samui planned as well. Our stay in Koh Samui wasn’t memorable – I hate to say it. I was disappointed. The hotel was nice, but there was broken glass all over the beach, roaming packs of stray dogs, little to do, not much choice in food, and very touristy. Everything felt like a tourist trap. And we were just simply not compatible in all ways.

Our trip back to the mainland by speedboat was the highlight. The waves were up – lots of moaning, groaning, and green faces. I thought the boat was going to break apart at any moment. Fun experience, though.

Honey went to Chiang Mai, I went to Bangkok. The plan was for me – after a few days in Bangkok and then Singapore for 3 days as a visa run – to join her for all of February in Chiang Mai. But obviously that wasn’t going to happen, and I thought she knew this when we parted ways at the airport.

Reuniting with Flower

When I was in Bangkok, after a hard discussion with Honey that she didn’t accept, I again reached out to Flower. We met for dinner and spoke amicably for the first time in a while. It went so well that we spent the few days I was there getting to know one another again. It was like we were dating for the first time. I respected her for this – no aerobics – which I think made me realize that I like how difficult she is. It’s a good thing – not being easy and respecting someone’s values and morals.

We had to part ways for me to do my visa run. While in Singapore, I finally had lunch with a Filipino girl I didn’t meet the first time there – purely as friends. It was the least I could do for not seeing her the first time. She had a boyfriend and I had Flower, so it was understood no boundaries could be crossed. I don’t know what it is about those Filipinos, but my God, they are all so sweet.

I also quickly saw the Filipino helper to drop off something personal she gave me and wanted returned. There were some tears, but we left each other somewhat amicably. My Taiwanese friend was in Taiwan when I visited, but that’s fine. I did spend a couple of days with another friend I met online when I first started Tinder two years previous. We always kept in touch, but sporadically – basically a love-hate friendship. The first time I was in Singapore, she was in Egypt or God knows where – she’s always traveling somewhere. A feisty over-50-year-old Singaporean who retired early – another stunner, would never guess her age. Anyway, it was great meeting her as well. Tinder was great for me, and I met a lot of wonderful women the past couple of years.

I will admit there is tension with the Singaporean woman, but she’s really angry at me for not choosing her – partly because of this, we would never work out. I avoided aerobics to not complicate matters with Flower. Anyway, the trip was nice to bring things to a close so I could focus all my energies on Flower.

Bali and the Rekindling

While in Singapore, I changed up my trip by choosing Bali to spend 3 weeks on a beach. From Singapore I flew to Bali alone. Bali is definitely a tourist trap and it needs some love, especially in the main tourist areas. There’s some fun and beauty to it, but I was bored silly and annoyed by all the scammers. Out of all the places I visited, Thailand remains my number one spot.

Anyway, I booked a flight for Flower to join me in Bali for my last week there. This is when we truly rekindled our love once again. But even during this week, there was some drama. However, when we laugh, we laugh hard.

After a memorable week exploring Bali together – where I was so happy to see Flower (who is a bit of a princess) climb a mountain at sunrise like a trooper – we flew back to Bangkok for the last 10 days of my trip. Flower and I spent as much time as we could together in Bangkok after her work, where our love blossomed to where we are today. I even took her twice to a five-star bar on Soi Cowboy where I saw her dance for the first time. She’s a quiet girl, so it was nice to see her dancing – but I was mostly keeping an eye on things, making sure the other guys kept their distance.

One final note which I’d like to share for your viewers: once girls become westernized, it’s over. Move to Thailand like I will – ASAP.

Story 2: The Naked Girl in the Stairwell – A Twilight Zone Experience

I am sending you an interesting personal story of mine – a crazy and shocking incident that I guess you haven’t heard before.

Let me give you some background on myself. I’m an Asian man in my mid-50s who has been in love with Thailand and its people for the last 40 years or so, ever since I traveled there for the first time in the early ’80s when I was a teenager. I’ve been visiting regularly, making two or three trips per year. I have a decent business in construction and design in my home country, and since it’s my own established business, I can take holidays at my discretion.

I am currently married to a beautiful Thai woman from Bangkok. She is an entrepreneur and is now set up in my country. We have been together for about 13 years.

The story I wanted to share took place before I met my wife. Back then, I was going through a painfully disastrous breakup from my ex-Thai girlfriend from Chiang Mai.

I would like to mention that throughout my years in Thailand, I have never been into short-term relationships – always preferring long-term associations in romance, as these are far more intimate. I had two girlfriends before I got married. The story I want to convey to you was actually a rare fling on my part when – as I mentioned – I was on a break from my last relationship. At that time, I was in my early 40s.

So to the story.

The Night Out in Nana Plaza

Out of serious frustration at the constant tribulations of my last long-term endeavor in love, I decided to have a casual fling during a short-term go-go bar excursion. I was staying at the Mercure Hotel on Sukhumvit Soi 11, where the hotel staff knew me well as I was a regular guest.

On that particular night, I went to a go-go bar on Soi 4. The establishment was in Nana Plaza. I entered the bar around 9:00 p.m. I was drinking alone, as I usually do. I don’t catch the eyes of the pretty Thai girls – being on the podgy side and very Asian-looking with a receding hairline. Although modestly aside, I am entirely unimpressive.

One young dancer caught my eye, but I waited before calling her to sit with me because in these establishments you have to be patient and cautious. The girl – let’s call her Tan – was a lovely, slim, tall 23-year-old with very good social communication skills in English, although I speak Thai relatively well.

She sat with me for more than an hour, getting very cozy and hands-on (if you get my meaning). As she got warmer and more comfortable with me, I explained my intention to her: that I wanted to party with her as I was feeling down and I needed a lift-me-up. That was the truth, as I never had the intention of taking girls from go-go bars to my room – that was never my style anyway. She happily accepted and asked if she could invite two of her close friends to sit with us. These girls were from her area in Isaan and were her best buddies in the bar.

One of the girls – let’s call her Pom – was a petite little beauty with a small but fully endowed body. All four of us had a merry time drinking at the bar, with all three girls hanging onto me like octopuses.

Bar Fines and a Night Out

After 2 or 3 hours of drinking, Pom whispered in my ear that I should bar fine the girls and go dancing and partying at another bar on Soi 4, as I was paying too much for ladies’ drinks inside this go-go bar. Trust me – I had really racked up a large bill that night, as the mamasan and her aunties made sure I bought drinks for them as well besides the girls. I was happy to hear this suggestion from Pom.

So I discussed it with Tan, and she was more than happy as well. I bar fined Tan and her other friend (as Pom was off work that day), which cost around 600 baht per girl. Some of the girls hang out in the bar even when it’s their day off to make extra money.

We moved to another large bar outside the Rongrat Hotel which had pool and live music. I would like to mention here that I negotiated a payment of 1,500 baht per girl for their time just for going partying with me. Of course, all of the charges were on me as well. We kept on dancing and drinking, and it was really great fun. This is when I found myself being more and more attracted to Pom, as she was the sweetest thing I could imagine – and she really was.

As the night drew on, I found myself wanting to take Pom to my room. Around 3:00 a.m., we were sitting outside the bar eating some Thai food, as the girls and I were fully loaded and head-heavy at this time. Pom was sitting beside me holding my hand, and I asked her if I could take her back to my room. She smiled and agreed. This simple joy made me overjoyed.

Although this decision had a very detrimental effect on Tan. When I told her, she lost all her charm and became very serious. Soon she declared that she wanted to leave, which she did along with her friend. This surprised me as I had made no commitments to her.

After another 30 minutes or so, Pom and I – both considerably drunk but happy – returned to my room on Soi 11.

The Sleep Disorder and the Morning Shock

I would like to mention here that I suffer from a sleep disorder and I need to use a CPAP machine to sleep. Anyhow, we were just too tired for anything, and I just changed for sleep. Pom seemed relieved at this. We talked a little and kissed her goodnight with a promise to continue when we woke up.

Now the story gets interesting.

I woke up at around 6:00 a.m. for a toilet call. I took off my CPAP mask and groggily looked around. To my amazement, the space beside me where Pom had been was empty.

“Oh, she’s in the toilet,” were my first thoughts. I called her a couple of times with no reply, so I got up and walked to the toilet. To my shock, it was empty. My first thought was that she had gotten up and left. For this I felt a little disappointed.

After I returned to the room, I got the shock of my life – a feeling I will never forget. All her clothes, undergarments, shoes, handbag, and even her mobile phone were still lying around in the room. It’s amazing to think of a Thai woman getting separated from her phone – impossible.

A Strange Morning in the Hotel

I panicked. This meant the girl was still in the room. Believe me, I looked all around – even in the wardrobe, under the bed – even poking my head out into the halls. But no Pom.

Now I was afraid. What could this mean? A person just cannot disappear. I considered many options, even checking the windows to see if they could be opened. What was relieving was that the main door chain was taken off, which meant she probably left the room – but without her belongings.

I was sitting trying to figure out what had happened when I got a call from housekeeping asking me to come down to the hotel office on the first floor. They didn’t want to answer anything over the phone, so I quickly got dressed and went down to the office.

The Naked Girl in the Stairwell

There was Pom sitting in the housekeeping room – barefoot with a small towel around her petite body, crying her eyes out. She saw me and nearly jumped on me with a very strong hug, crying even louder. I was shocked and didn’t know how to address the situation, along with a housekeeping manager (a woman). I kept trying to ask her what was wrong to no avail – she just kept sobbing.

I asked the manager what happened. The story goes like this:

At around 5:00 a.m., the security guard saw a naked woman in the hotel stairwell moving about endlessly up and down on the CCTV. They called the night manager and went to collect her. She could not remember where she was, how she got there, why she was naked, and most importantly – who she was with.

It took the hotel office some time to check back all the CCTV footage on all floors to identify us walking in and taking the lift to my room. As I mentioned earlier, I am a regular at this hotel, so they traced my room number and called me. That was that.

I collected her and literally carried her back to the room.

The Aftermath

In the room, she continued sobbing and did not answer any of my questions. I made us both coffee and tried to calm her down. I put her in bed and cuddled with her. She continued hugging me tightly and sobbing, as the ordeal had really shocked her.

After some time she calmed down and – in true Thai style – continued to keep quiet about my questions anyway. She laid down for some more time and relaxed, and I was nodding off again when she came on to me and started to kiss me in the most affectionate way. It ended up as one of the best aerobic sessions I remember to this day – passionate the first time and super active passionate the second time.

We rested for some more time, after which she got up, showered, dressed, and got ready to leave. As I invited her to breakfast which she declined, I asked her if she needed any money for her time, to which she politely said no.

I called her near the bed, sat down with her, and hugged her again. I took out 2,000 baht plus the 1,500 baht promised and pushed it into her handbag, to which she just blankly looked at me with a very polite thank you.

As I escorted her to the door, she turned around, looked me in the eyes with tears accumulating at the corners, and said “I’m sorry” in Thai. I hugged and kissed her again, after which she seemed to relax.

The Girl Leaves the Hotel

When she reached the door, she asked for my phone number. This was a true test of my self-control. I didn’t want to get entangled with bar girls – however beautiful and charming they were – especially with the current events that had occurred. I just brushed her off, saying that I had just arrived in Thailand and I didn’t own a Thai SIM card. I took her number and promised to call her that evening again after I bought a SIM – I knew full well that this wouldn’t happen as well.

Now in full confused mode with this girl – as her activities were something out of The Twilight Zone – believe me, I felt sorry for her. And believe me, she was a wonderful and gorgeous person. But someone you just don’t want to continue with.

Anyway, that’s the last I saw of her. It’s also the last time that I paid to take out a girl from a go-go bar. It was a lot of fun – I enjoyed myself – but it was expensive, and I had that weird experience.

I often look back on this night, and I still can’t figure out what happened. Why she left the room. Occasionally my wife and myself will have a drink in Soi 4. My eyes are always on standby, looking out for that pretty girl that I met on that fateful night.