Married Man Being Blackmailed By A Thai Girl

I am an engineer that works in Bangkok, I stay in Thailand for about 10 months out of the year with the other 2 months spent at home.

I am currently married in my country, and my problems begin with me having an affair on my wife in Bangkok leading to disastrous results.

I have always stayed faithful to my wife that I do love with all my heart, but being alone in Thailand, I lost my will power.

I will refer to the Thai girl I am having an affair with as my girlfriend or Nok in this story.

How My Thailand Nightmare Started

So, how did I go from being a faithful hardworking husband to meeting this young single Thai girl?

I met Nok on a regretful night while I was out with work friends.

We do not go to places like Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy when we go out, just some normal bars with no bargirls, just customers having a drink, mainly foreigners.

I have been to all of them places that I just mentioned before, but I had never taken a girl, its just not the type of scene for me.

The Fateful Encounter Outside 7-Eleven

At one stage in the night out with my friends, I went next door to the 7eleven to buy some smokes.

The 7eleven was next door to the bar so I stood outside while having a smoke.

Nok who I did not know at the time came over and asked for a lighter, she was already in the bar with her friends.

She was a cute little thing to look at, but now I know that looks may be deceiving.

We got chatting, one thing lead to another and we exchanged phone numbers.

This happened to be the biggest mistake of my life and how I wish I could go back and not give her my number.

The Roller Coaster Relationship With A Thai Girl Begins

Since that day, we have been meeting and formed some type of relationship, which has been a roller coaster ride from the get go.

It was ok in the first couple of weeks, going out dating and her being in a good mood all the time.

It was just a casual relationship meeting up when both of us were free from work and had nothing to do.

Casual dating and casual fun, that is how I wanted to keep it.

Her Controlling Behavior Emerges

Quickly, her mood would change and she would become very demanding, to which if I did not give into her demands she would go absolutely crazy at me.

She wanted to see me more and more throughout the week, and even though I would refuse at first, eventually I’d give in and meet her.

It is mad the effect she had on me, I completely lost my backbone with her and did not stand up for myself.

This was not like me at all, I have never been the type of person to let someone walk all over me, but I was completely under her little finger.

Thai girls can have this effect on people. 

She Moves In Without Warning

She would start coming to my apartment early in the relationship, bringing a few pieces of things such as clothes and toiletries and leaving them here.

She would start showing up unannounced after work and then spending the night at my place.

I did not think too much of it at first but sooner or later, she had moved in with me, and this was very early on in the relationship, maybe like 3 weeks into it.

She never asked if she could move in, nor did we ever discuss it, she just made herself at home and never left.

A Little Background On My New Thai Fling

As far as I know, she does not work in the entertainment type of work. She is not a bargirl, so she says.

She claims to be a cashier at a normal bar, I have visited her working there before and it’s just a bar that has more Thai customers than farangs.

It’s actually a decent bar for the locals, I think I was the only farang in there the times that I visited.

She comes from a very poor background but has stated she would never resort to any work that a lot of Thai girls do in the tourist night life area.

I have cleaned it up so you can read it on YouTube, but hopefully the listeners know what type of work I am referring to.

Toxic Control She Has Over Me

She is very controlling with me and up until now, she did not know about my life back home with my wife.

She did not know that eventually I would probably leave Thailand and go back home.

Our relationship has just been a complete headache and I should have never have messaged her after meeting her outside the 7eleven.

I can’t put it into words how much I regret going to buy smokes that night.

But like I said at the start of my story, its nobody else fault but my own.

Few Good Times, A Lot Of Bad Times

Although 90% of our relationship has been rocky, I must admit that she does take care of me good and does everything around the apartment.

That’s the good thing about Thai women, they can be very caring and know how to look after you.

It’s just that they can flip out at any minute over the smallest of things.

One minute she is all happy and in love, the next minute she’s fighting with me claiming that I have multiple women on the go, which is not true.

Her Extreme Jealousy and Suspicion

When we go to restaurants, the mall or anywhere public, she will be watching me like a hawk to see if I am looking at other women.

One time I smiled at the waitress after ordering food, and the whole time she was asking me while I am smiling like that at her, do I like her, would I rather have her?

It was insane. 

She has completely taken over my life, I even enjoy my work a lot more now because it means I can be away from her.

The 8 hours that I am work is like heaven to me, I will even say that my phone has died just so I don’t have to talk with her.

Even when I want to go out with friends, which is very rare, she will tell me if im allowed or not, and if im allowed she will even say what I should or should not wear.

I have never met anyone as suspicious, possessive, controlling and manipulating than her.

How I Lost Myself in This Relationship

All reasonable thinking and logic left my brain once I met her, the signs where there early that this would be a toxic relationship but I still went ahead with it.

She sucked me in with her cute and innocent demeanour during the first week and then just completely changed.

One time, during one of Nok’s morning crazy tantrums, I went to work and returned to discover that she had been through all my personal belongings, my laptop, emails, messages, photos, phones, everything.

She discovered that I am married back home, have a wife and family that I take care of and that we are still together in a happy marriage.

She now knew more about me than I knew about myself, and has threatened me several times to use this information against me and contact my wife.

How she got my passwords to all of my stuff ill never know, she is sneaky beyond words.

My Life Is Now in Her Hands

My life is now in her hands, I have been completely exposed and im open to several forms of attack, which again is completely my fault.

I am not sure what possessed her to go through my belongings, maybe the thought of losing me eventually, im not sure, but this shows the type of woman I am dealing with.

I dread to think the lengths she will go to ruin my life, I wouldn’t put anything past her.

She is ready and willing to inflict maximum damage on me when the time is right for her.

Here is another part to my story, my contract in Bangkok ends in 1 year and there is a big chance I will be moving back to my country with the same company.

Doing the same thing back home that I do in Bangkok.

There is still a chance that my contract gets renewed here in Bangkok, but it’s not likely.

Nok’s Delusional Expectations

Anyway, Nok knows this but she lives in a fairy tale and she believes that we will stay in touch and be completely in love with each other even though im back home.

In her head, we are in a perfect relationship, she does not see anything wrong with it or her actions.

This is all normal to her.

Even though she knows I have a wife back home, this doesn’t seem to phase her in the slightest.

My Struggle Between Two Worlds

Believe it or not, and it might not seem like I do, but I really do want to live an honest life with my family once I am back home.

Even though I have been an unfaithful husband, the thought of leaving my wife or getting a divorce has never crossed my mind nor is it something I ever plan on doing.

I am constantly lying to them, and I think a big part of me is with Nok because I don’t want her to expose me to them and ruin our family.

If I leave Nok now and just break everything off with her, I know that wouldn’t be the end of it, I know she would do whatever she can to ruin me.

On the other hand, I also know that I am being a coward by continuing this relationship with Nok and lying to my wife.

No matter what I do, its going to be the wrong choice and ill be hurting someone along the way.

But I really don’t know what else I can do right now, Nok really has me eating out her hand.

Her Threats and Blackmail

Every time she flys into one of her rages, she will threaten to go to my family, my work, social media and whatever else she can do to expose me.

The thing is, when me and Nok first got together, my wife actually caught me somehow and found out about Nok. 

To this day I don’t know how my wife found out, I tried to keep it as private as possible but she still managed to find out.

After pleading with my wife and explaining that I have only met her a couple of days ago, which was actually true, she gave me the benefit of the doubt.

It was not easy convincing her to give me another chance, she did talk about her doing the same and meeting other men.

She gave me the whole speech about im not the only one that is alone, she is alone too, which is 100% true and I can’t argue with that.

In the end she gave me another chance but told me that if I were to do it again, then she would leave me and not take me back.

The Lie I Continued to Live

I promised my wife that there will be no more Nok and I just missed my wife so I wasn’t thinking straight.

I think a part of that was actually true and not an excuse, I think I missed my wife too much that I tried to find what we had in someone else.

Being alone and away from your other half, its easy to look what you long for from someone else.

Or maybe I am just making excuses for myself, I don’t know.

After my wife giving me another chance, she thought Nok was long gone from my life, unfortunately, that was not the case.

She believed that Nok had left me alone but this is far from the truth and I live with that guilt every day, yet I still carry on.

I should have broke it off with Nok then and there as soon as I told my wife there would be no more, stupidly I did not.

No Love, Just Regret

Just to be clear, I have no romantic feelings for Nok whatsoever, there is nothing there on my side and I just wish I could get her out of my life.

To be honest, I don’t think there ever was any feelings, I think I was just a man that craved a bit of female attention, and she shown it me.

I have recently tried to leave Nok and told her that she has to move out because things do not look good for our future.

But of course, she twisted my arm and brought up all the information she has found out about me.

She has literally said that if I were to break it off with her then she would contact my wife and tell her what has been happening.

Nok is actually unaware than my wife had already found out about her once before.

Trapped In A Thailand Relationship Nightmare

It’s like I have no choice than to be with this woman, I literally can not leave without the risk of losing everything from my family to my job.

I do think if my wife did find out that I had been unfaithful again, hearing it from Nok and not me, she would not give me any more chances.

This nightmare has been going on for about a year now, with everything slowly falling apart both in my personal life and my health.

Again, I am not looking for sympathy, I was the one that decided to do the dirty on my wife and go back behind her back.

I need to face the consequences, and I don’t blame anyone but myself.

My job is currently not flexible, I have to stay in Bangkok for at least 1 more year before I can return home.

I can’t just up and leave Thailand because I will lose my very well paying job that I support my family back home with.

A job like this does not come by every day, and you have to be a skilled worker to do my type of job.

But even so, it’s not like that if I go home, all my problems are gone.

She is still going to be there online, interfering in my life, and I know without a shadow of a doubt she will do everything she can to make my life hell.

The Fear of Losing Everything

I don’t want to lose my family or my job and I know it will be Noks goal to make that happen, I just know how her mind works.

I wish I could just sit her down, talk to her like an adult, and explain to her why this isn’t working and that we need to stop.

But that is just impossible, she wouldn’t listen and she will carry on pretending that we are in a serious loving relationship.

I have told only a few friends about my situation and they have said I should record evidence of her behaviour and go to the police.

They said that the police probably hear stories like this all the time and would actually help me out, especially if I paid.

But going to the police is something I do not want to do, I don’t want to provoke her.

If I went to the police about her, she would come back at me 100x harder.

Even if the police went to talk to her and tell her to stop and stay away from me, I doubt she would listen and it would just add fuel to the fire for her to continue.

She will think that because I went to the police about her, she needs to get her revenge on me.

A Lose-Lose Situation

She has all the information and proof she needs to get some serious revenge on me If she wishes.

Really I am in a lose – lose situation, I can’t see much of a way out.

If I leave Nok, she will ruin my family, my job and most probably my life.

If I stay with Nok, I lose my wife who I love a lot.

I know me saying that I love my wife a lot, people might say well if that is true then I wouldn’t have done what did with Nok, but its the truth, I do love my wife, I just made a huge mistake.

I already know what I want, I want to break off with Nok, get as far away as possible from her and never hear from her again.

I want us both to forget that we ever happened and put it in the past.

That’s just wishful thinking, I know it can’t be as easy as that.

Exploring an Early Thailand Exit

Ultimately, I am exploring options on how I can go home earlier, without telling her but still being able to work for the same company.

If I do find a way to go home earlier, i plan on telling my wife everything before Nok does, at least then hopefully I can retain a little trust with my wife.

The only bad side to that, is if I told my wife everything that has happened, she could leave me and to be honest, she has every right to do so.

She has already forgiven me once and gave me another chance, there is a big chance that she wouldn’t do that again.

But I think that’s my only option, I would rather it be me the one that tell her and not Nok.

Then there is the other side, what if I tell my wife and in the end it turns out Nok was completely bluffing and never contacts my wife.

I would have dropped myself in it and ruined the relationship, but I guess if that did happen then at least I would have came clean with my wife.

The Final Countdown

I can’t take another year of this, I really need to get home.

It will take time, I will be constantly looking over my shoulder and waiting for Nok to strike, but that’s what I need to face.

I mean, once I leave, what has she got to lose? She has already lost me so she will do whatever she can to ruin me.

I really would love it if Nok was bluffing about doing anything, and she would just move onto the next guy when I leave, I can only hope for that.

I guess im sharing my story for some advice but mainly a warning to others that cheating on a loved one just because you are not physical with them is a bad thing and can end in tears.

I will submit a part 2 if anything else happens in my life, but for now, this is where I am at.

I know I have been stupid, unfaithful and deserve to be in this situation, but I am still welcoming all advice or stories from anyone else that has been in a similar situation.