A 1990 Journey from Bangkok to Chiang Rai

My story is from my first trip to Thailand around 30 years ago in 1990. I’m an American and was studying in New York City. I decided that after finishing my degree, I would take a long trip somewhere new and exotic.

After doing some research, I decided on Southeast Asia because the price was much better than other destinations. Just finishing graduate school, my bank account was not exactly flush with money, as you can imagine.

I was able to get a courier ticket to Bangkok for $500 return. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of a courier travel ticket, but you basically travel very cheaply as a courier, and the courier company uses your luggage space to ship cargo. My ticket was $500 US dollars when the best one I could find for myself was $1,500. It’s funny how I could get a ticket nowadays for about $500 return in today’s dollars.

The terms of the courier deal were that I had to return within six weeks and I couldn’t leave Thailand. So I set about planning my adventure. Basically, I decided to wing it and had not made any hotel reservations. In general, I wanted to relax on a tropical island, visit Bangkok, another island in the south, and visit the north of the country as well.

Very few people from New York (or America more generally) made the 24-hour-plus trip to Thailand for travel or vacation, so I knew very few people who had been there. Remember, this is back in 1990. Most of my knowledge came from travel books and brochures in particular, a book called “Southeast Asia on a Shoestring,” which was a backpacker’s bible back then. I was quite naive as to the nightlife situation in Thailand and other aspects of Thai culture. Most of the references to the nightlife in the book were about how one could easily get ripped off, so I made it a point to avoid places like Patpong and Soi Cowboy. Soi Nana wasn’t around in those days.

Personally, I was quite a handsome man at the time. Writing this story forced me to dig out some of my old photographs from my trip. I was also in very good shape from my weightlifting and powerlifting, though focusing on my doctoral theses did cause some flabbiness. That said, I was still in better shape than most men my age. The story follows a relationship I had with a Thai woman named Far (spelt F A R) that I met in Pattaya and had a somewhat rocky relationship with.

Sharing a 21 Dollar Miami Hotel Room on Arrival in Bangkok

I set off on my long flight to Bangkok, connecting in Narita. On the Narita to Bangkok leg of the trip, I happened to be sitting next to two American women, and we struck up a conversation. They were backpacking through Asia on their way to Nepal and would only be staying in Bangkok for one night.

We agreed to share a hotel room to save money, and at the airport found a room with three beds at the Miami Hotel, which is still there today and is located on Sukhumvit Soi 13. $21 for the room, so only $7 each. No funny business with the ladies; it was all above board.

It was about midnight after we checked in, and we set out to get some street food. We found a noodle store that had set up some tables and chairs on the sidewalk. It’s interesting how the Thais shimmy up the electric pole to tap into the electrical lines to power the lights and the cooking equipment.

Back then, Sukhumvit was a one way street going east, I believe. No skytrain yet. But the crafty Bangkok drivers carved out a single lane illegally going in the opposite direction. This led to a head-on collision just a few meters from where we were sitting between a car and a tuk tuk that was going in the wrong direction.

One of the American women I was with had just completed medical school, so she felt compelled to assist and went over to the accident scene. But there was not much that she could do because the driver was already deceased. Quite an introduction to Thailand.

How Koh Samet Led Him to Pattaya

The next morning, my American lady friends left for the airport, and I set about traveling to Koh Samet. I mostly spent my time lying on the beach, drinking beer, and getting massages from the sturdy women who plied their trade amongst the tourists at the resort.

I met a French man named Pascal, and we talked over a few beers in the evening. He was heading to Pattaya next and suggested I travel there as well. He told me where he’d be staying, and it was within my budget. So since I was winging it, after staying a few days in Koh Samet, I was on my way to Pattaya.

A 500 Baht Introduction to Pattaya Nightlife

I checked into the hotel Pascal recommended. I didn’t see him at first and left to wander about Pattaya, walking along Beach Road and such. After wandering about for a while, it was clear to me that Pattaya did not have much from a cultural perspective though there were plenty of ladies trying to pull me into the bars in South Pattaya. I was still fearful that a visit to one of these places would extract a large amount of money from me. I was naive.

Back at the hotel, sitting in the courtyard having a drink, I was approached by a male hotel employee. He asked if I would like some female company. Keep in mind that I’m completely naive here, and thus proceed to ask how that would work.

He said that for 500 baht, a lady would spend time with me, and that I could send her away after or she would spend the night with me if I wished. I didn’t have a huge budget, but 500 baht back then was only $20 US dollars. So since I was alone and otherwise a little bit bored with Pattaya, I agreed.

He went to make a phone call, and a short while later came back with two Thai women and asked me to choose which one I liked. I found this a little bit awkward to make such a choice openly in front of the ladies. Both were attractive, but one was a stunner: long raven hair and nice eyes. She was also a bit more full figured than most Thai women, who at the time mostly looked a bit undernourished relative to Western women.

The stunner of the two girls was a girl called Far, with whom I’d have a relationship over the next several weeks.

Spending Several Days with Far in Pattaya

Far and I went back to my room and started getting to know each other a little better. Far was not too old, no children, and from Chiang Rai province. She had completed high school and spoke English well enough for us to have decent, if simplistic, conversations.

We spent the next several days drinking beer on the beach, jumping in the sea in the afternoon, and in the evenings of course multiple daily “aerobic sessions.” I could feel that Far was taking a liking to me beyond just being a client.

After several days of this routine, I was getting a bit bored with Pattaya and decided to end my time there and move on to visit Bangkok. It was also draining my budget, as I’d learned that the expectation was that if you’re spending time with a girl, you’re also paying for her food and drinks. Far didn’t eat much; food was pretty cheap back then, but she had a good beer drinking appetite.

So I told Far that my time in Pattaya was coming to an end and I’d be heading to Bangkok next. Expecting a degree of sadness on her part, she surprised me by immediately suggesting that I come back to Pattaya after I toured Bangkok. I was certainly taking a liking to her—who wouldn’t?—and I agreed to return. She gave me the phone number of the house where she stayed and said to call her when I returned to Pattaya.

Exploring Bangkok’s Temples Before Returning to Pattaya

I found a cheap guest house on Khao San Road and spent a few days in Bangkok, visiting the cultural sites: temples, klongs (the canals that run through Bangkok), night markets, etc. I met up with a very cool Australian guy, and we did the tours by day and spent the evenings drinking rum of which he’d brought an ample supply from Australia.

I did my best to keep expenses low to save my money for Pattaya, thanks to the Australian friend and his rum, because beer was typically the biggest part of my budget.

After a few days, I called Far and told her that I’d be back in Pattaya after the day after next. After another day of touring and drink, I said my goodbye to my Australian friend who kindly gave me a bottle of rum for the road and made my way back to Pattaya.

Returning to Find Far Had a New Boyfriend

Arriving in Pattaya and checking into the hotel, I called Far’s house. I was quite surprised and shocked when the woman who answered shouted down the phone: “Far not here. Have new boyfriend.” She then went on to say, “I send you new lady. Take care of everything, okay?”

Needless to say, I was a bit stunned by this—very disappointed, in fact. I called back a second time but also got the same response. I decided to take a walk around Pattaya, found a small bar overlooking the beach, had a few beers, and considered my options.

I suppose I was naive back then, and Far wasn’t interested beyond just keeping customers happy. I really wasn’t interested in staying in Pattaya without Far, so I decided to stay the night and move on the next day to Koh Samui.

Dang Becomes the Hotel Employee’s Replacement

When I got back to my hotel in the late afternoon, one of the male employees noticed I was alone and approached me: “You want lady?” Feeling lonely and a bit buzzed after my daytime beer drinking session, it seemed like a good idea.

He came to my room a short while later with two ladies. Same routine. I chose the one I found more attractive, and we sat in my room getting to know one another. Dang was 27 years old, she had two kids, and also from Chiang Rai province. She was certainly attractive, but not a stunner like Far, and her body showed the effects of childbirth.

We got along well. Her English was passable, and we spent the evening at a bar, and she spent the night. The next morning, she asked if I’d like to spend another day with her, and I agreed. She said she needed to go home and get a change of clothes, eat, etc., and would be back in two or three hours. She’d bring a bathing suit, and we could spend the day on the beach and go swimming.

Far Confronts Him After Seeing Dang

While waiting for Dang to return, I headed out for breakfast. On my way back to my room, I walked by the room of a Canadian guy I’d met the day before. He invited me into his room for a chat. He was playing dominoes with his lady friend and guess who showed up? It was Far.

She ran into the room, threw her arms around me, and started crying intensely. I excused us, and we went back to my room, where the crying turned into intense anger.

“Why you take another lady?” she yelled, along with other words of anger.

I did my best to explain that I was sad and disappointed that she didn’t wait for me and that I thought I was nothing special to her. She said that she really liked me but that she had to go with someone else—I guess she didn’t get to pick and choose her customers. She said that she really liked me and it’s not her fault that she couldn’t meet me.

After a little more crying and me apologizing, she pushed our conversations towards a makeup “aerobic session.” Just slightly awkward, because I’m expecting Dang to return at some point.

Far and Dang Join Him for an Awkward Beach Day

Dang does return and it’s awkward, because we’re sweaty from our “aerobic session.” Far and Dang talk a bit in Thai, and of course I don’t understand it. It turns out that Far will accompany us to spend the day also. Very awkward for me, but I do my best to drown it in beer.

When we return to the hotel after a day at the beach, Far says that she needs to go back to her other client, but that she will come back tomorrow and she’s free then. She also says that I should spend the night with Dang since I’d already paid. This was very awkward. Far was basically saying to me: “Sleep with this woman tonight, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

At this point, I say to Dang, “You cannot stay with me.” In retrospect, a big mistake, because it causes her to lose face another Thai cultural point that I’m not familiar with. Ultimately, they both leave. I get some dinner and turn in early, sleeping alone.

The next day, Far comes to see me, and all is good between us. We spend a few days in Pattaya with the usual routine of drinking, going to the beach, and hanging out in the bars or discos in the evening.

Travelling to Koh Samui Without Far

Then I tell her that I didn’t come to Thailand to spend all of my time in Pattaya, and that I’m planning to travel to Koh Samui for a few days. Far says, “Many beautiful ladies in Koh Samui cannot let you go there alone.” I tell her that I cannot afford to take her. She starts to bargain down her daily rate, and ultimately I say to her, “Okay, I can maybe pay your daily rate, but I can’t afford your daily beer consumption.” So of course, I head down to Koh Samui alone. Far recommends a place to stay in the Lamai Beach area. She also gives me some pictures to give to the bartender at a local bar from a past visit.

I fly to Surat Thani and take the overnight ferry to Koh Samui and check into the Lamai Resort. After settling in, I head to the nightlife area and find the bar from Far’s pictures. I have a few beers there. The nightlife area back then was much underdeveloped: a bunch of drinking kiosks right on the sand, with one or two ladies working the bar who would play the usual bar games.

I move over to one and meet a very cute and attractive Thai woman named Wan (spelt W A A N). Wan is half Malay, half Thai, no kids, speaks English very well, having spent time in Malaysia and Singapore. We play Connect Four she usually wins. She is a cool and enjoyable person to be with. At about midnight, one of her friends comes over, and she informs me that they are going to the disco (which opens at midnight) and asked if I would like to join them. I agree. We spend the night dancing and sweating at the disco it’s in the open air, no air conditioning.

I’m a little surprised as Wan pays for every other round of drinks. When the disco closes, we go to yet another small outdoor bar that’s still open, until the sun came up. I ask where she would like to go, and she says, “Back to your place” meaning my place.

We wind up spending the next few days together, enjoying each other’s company. I was genuinely confused with Wan, wondering if she would ultimately want to be compensated for spending time with me. I asked her outright and she was insulted. So we hang out, drink, and have “aerobic sessions” until it’s time to head back to Pattaya.

My last night there, we say our goodbyes, and I go to bed early, get my wake up call for the ferry back to Surat Thani.

The Ladyboy Who Followed Him Around Lamai

An interesting side story to my time in Koh Samui: in the Lamai nightlife area was a small cabaret show, and when not performing, there were a good number of ladyboys milling about. One took a particular liking to me. She was a real stunner drop dead gorgeous is a better description. In a white mini dress, long black raven hair, and long tanned legs with high heels.

She kind of stalked me around the nightlife area, inserting herself between Wan and me when we were dancing, throwing her arms around my shoulders and dancing very closely to me. I found her sitting on my rented scooter waiting for me at times. She apparently speaks no English but tells Wan how much she likes me.

On the day I leave Koh Samui, I had an early morning ferry to catch. I’m riding the pickup truck to the ferry, and it was making various stops. It goes through the nightlife area and stops close to an all night bar. The sun was now coming up. My ladyboy friend is there, looking as sexy as ever. She sees me at the back of the pickup truck with my luggage and clasps her hands in front of her chest, tilts her head, frowns to express sadness at me leaving.

She then walks over to the pickup truck in the sexiest way possible, throws her arms around my neck, plants a big wet kiss on me, turns, and walks away without saying a word. Much to my surprise and to the shock of the others on the pickup truck. I don’t have any interest in ladyboys, but she made my loins stir at that moment lol.

Far Invites Him to Celebrate Songkran in Chiang Rai

So I head back to Pattaya and spend a few days with Far. Songkran (Thai New Year holiday) is coming up, and Far informs me that she will be heading back to her village in Chiang Rai and invites me to come along. She and several other girls from Chiang Rai are renting a minibus to drive them, and I can ride along. Since I’m kind of winging the whole trip, a chance to visit a Thai village and celebrate Songkran sounds interesting. I agree to go.

However, the day before we’re due to leave for Chiang Rai, Far informs me that I cannot ride the minibus with them. Dang (remember her?) is on the same minibus and refuses to ride with me. Can I figure out a way to get to Chiang Rai on my own? Which starts my next mini adventure.

Far gives me the address of her village written in English, and I’m off to Chiang Rai.

A Songkran Eve Dash from Chiang Mai to Chiang Rai

Trying to get an internal flight with one day’s notice and the day before the Songkran holiday is a major undertaking. I was able to get a flight to Chiang Mai but not Chiang Rai. I would need to take a bus from Chiang Mai to Chiang Rai.

I arrive in Chiang Mai on the eve of Songkran. On the airport shuttle bus into town, I meet another American, and we chat. At the bus station in Chiang Mai, I get a tuk tuk to take me to find a hotel. But after about an hour or so, it’s hopeless. We went from hostels to high-end hotels, but there are no hotel rooms in Chiang Mai to be found as it’s Songkran.

So I find a nice outdoor bar to spend time and consider my options and run into the American I’d met on the bus. A nice stroke of luck. I tell him about my lack of a hotel room, and he agrees to keep me company over a few beers. We wind up drinking until sunup, at which point I get a tuk tuk to the bus station.

I somehow managed to choose the wrong bus station winding up at the one for the locals: no air conditioning, with five people seated across on non-reclining seats versus the one for tourists, which has air conditioning and large, comfortable reclining seats.

I feel bad for the Thais seated next to me because my naturally broad shoulders take up precious room. But of course, they’re kind and gracious and practice their English with me, even though I can barely stay awake my head is flopping around like a rag doll most of the four hour trip.

Finding Far’s Village with Help from a Chiang Rai Taxi Driver

The bus arrives at Chiang Rai station, which in 1990 is a dusty unpaved lot with lots of dirt in the air from all the traffic. It’s probably 40 degrees and bone dry at this time of year.

I search the bus station for someone who speaks English, and it turns out the station manager is quite fluent. He then finds a taxi driver, reverse translates Far’s address, and drives me to Far’s village in about 30 minutes.

It’s a small village with underdeveloped homes and no paved roads but it has electricity. There are no individual home addresses, so the driver helpfully went house to house inquiring about Far’s home. Finally, we’re directed to her house. Her aged parents answer the door and speak not a word of English, but fortunately point up the road where Far is riding around on a scooter.

She’s a bit surprised and very happy that I made it.

Drinking and Celebrating Songkran in Far’s Village

The village is in the middle of the Songkran festival. Far takes me to a number of her friends’ and relatives’ homes, and everyone is happy to celebrate with a farang (foreigner). There’s plenty of beer and homemade gut rot rice wine to be consumed. Everyone wants to throw water on the farang.

In town later, we go down by the river, where much of the town is picnicking and celebrating. As the farang celebrity is in town, the little girls are blowing me kisses, and several men ask me to come and have a drink with their families.

I get extremely drunk and somehow wind up back at Far’s house passed out. I’m just happy that I didn’t vomit and embarrass her. We spend the next couple of days celebrating Songkran though a little more subdued after the first day’s excesses.

Discussing a Return Trip and a Future Together

Sometime around this point, Far starts talking about me making a return trip to Thailand. I’m non committal given my situation, but I tell her I’d love to come back when the time is right. She also mentions in somewhat broken English that she will get a passport and a visa so she can travel as well. I’m good with this.

My time in Thailand is getting short, and I need to check in with the courier company that sponsored my flight to Bangkok. Far informs me that there is one phone in the village hard to imagine these days and we go there, and the phone is not working. There will be no repairs soon due to Songkran.

The rule is that I need to check in with the courier company at least three days before my departure. So Far suggests we spend three days in Chiang Rai city, and I can make the call from there.

We say our goodbyes to Far’s family, take the bus to Chiang Rai, and check into a nice modern hotel. After shaving and showering with cold well water for three days, I’m pleased to be back to a modern bathroom with running hot water. We get cleaned up and spend time touring Chiang Rai and resuming our frequent “aerobic sessions.”

Leaving Chiang Rai After an Argument About the Future

It comes to the morning of my last day in Chiang Rai. Far and I exchange addresses. She’s asking about my return trip, and I tell her I’m not sure. We talk some more, and it becomes clear that her expectation was that I’d return fairly soon and when I do, she’d return to America with me. Hence the passport and visa.

I tell her that I can’t commit to that—who can commit to a long-term relationship after just a few weeks? This makes her very, very angry with me, and she storms out of the room with a harsh goodbye.

Not wanting to separate on such a negative note, I chase her down the hall. She comes back to the room. More angry talk. She’s very angry with me and with herself. After half an hour or so, she leaves for good.

I was very sad for our relationship to end in such a negative way. I don’t think I did or said anything to create such expectations but perhaps again it was me being naive about Thailand and the girls. In retrospect, visiting her village was likely a signal of something deeper, but at the time I just didn’t see it that way.

I never heard from Far again after returning to the US. I did write her a letter and got it translated by a local translation agency, but never heard back from her.

A Final Bangkok Hotel Bar Conversation Before Flying Home

Quite depressed at this point, I head to the airport and fly back to Bangkok, checking into the airport hotel. I plan to go to bed early for my early morning flight back to New York. I thought my Thailand adventures were over at this point but there was one more interesting episode. After checking into the airport hotel, it was early evening, and I headed down to the hotel bar for a snack and a couple of beers. I sit at the bar, have a couple of beers and a snack, and decide to pay my bill. As I speak with the bartender, a gentleman seated a few stools down from me looks over and says, “You sound like an American.” I agree, and he starts a conversation. “We don’t see many Americans down here,” he says. He convinces me to have a couple of beers with him his treat. He’d love to spend some time with an American.

We have a few beers, and he tells me his story. He’s a Vietnam vet who returned to the US to a hostile atmosphere for returning soldiers. He had trouble adjusting to life back in the US and fondly remembered his R&R time in Bangkok. He’s actually getting a bit teary eyed describing his post war experience. So he moved to Thailand to be with the girls. Being from the Army Corps of Engineers during his wartime stint, he was able to land a great job making a ridiculous amount of money—$100,000 US dollars a year in 1990—building golf courses. He enjoys life in Thailand and now has a Malay wife who allows him to enjoy the Bangkok nightlife periodically.

He’s at the hotel to get a massage and spend time with his favorite Thai lady from the hotel spa. Yet another cultural shock for me that his wife allows this. Continuing over beers, I describe my various experiences in Thailand, and being naive, he laughs at me. “Haven’t you heard the song ‘One Night in Bangkok’?” he says, haha. I told him I’d heard the song but didn’t pay much attention to the lyrics.

So I decide it’s time to get to sleep, but he insists that we go to the hotel spa, sit in the hot tub, drink a couple of beers, and get a massage from the ladies working in the spa. He will treat me which is great because I’ve exhausted all of my money by now. We head to the hotel spa, and after the hot tub, we’re asked to choose a lady for a massage from a lineup of half a dozen or so. He picks his favorite Number 109 (it’s funny how I can remember such small details from that long ago) and I pick the one I find most attractive.

I say goodbye to my new friend. My lady takes me to the hotel room, where she gives me a bath, a massage, and an “aerobic session.” I really didn’t expect such a service to be offered at a respectable hotel. After my lady friend leaves, it’s now about 3 a.m., and I need to leave for the airport. It might be hard to imagine, but at this point I’m actually getting bored with all of this. I just stay awake until 5, head to the airport.

I’ve never been good at sleeping on planes, but I sleep practically the entire way back to New York, waking only to change aircraft in Tokyo. Such was the adventure of my first visit to Thailand. Tremendously enjoyable, but certainly a cultural shock and a reverse cultural shock when I arrived back in the US.

Story Two: Beer Bar Games That Cost Only 20 Baht

This story relates to beer bars and an alternative way to have fun. I don’t go out often, but when I do, I want to have fun otherwise, what’s the point? I’m past the age where I want to bar fine ladies and take them away from the bar, but that doesn’t stop me from having a lot of fun in the bar.

A woman working in a bar is not necessarily her first choice of employment. They are working in the bar for one reason: to make money. Once this is understood, the customer has a better understanding of what is hoped and expected of them.

These ladies would rather be at home with their families, shopping in the malls or markets, or watching a Thai soap opera than calling out to every handsome man, trying to entice them into their bar and have a drink.

Okay, here is one of my regular routines. I will go into a bar with a bunch of bored ladies staring at their phones. I sit down, order a beer, and I’m soon joined by one of the ladies asking for a ladies’ drink. I will buy her a drink, and after the opening chit chat (“Where are you from?” “How long have you been here?” etc.), then I jump into playing the game.

I give a 20 baht reward for correct answers.

This has the ladies squealing with delight when they win.

A Beer Bar Word Game Using Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

One of my games is to ask a bar woman if she has ever heard of the English word “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” Of course, they have never heard of such a ridiculous word, and they tell me so.

I then flag down a passing Westerner and ask him to tell me the long word from the movie Mary Poppins. Nine times out of ten, they repeat the word perfectly with a big grin on their face. The bar girl’s jaw drops to the table. I almost never lose 20 baht on that one.

Personal Trivia Games That Cost 20 Baht per Answer

One of my favorite games, I call it “Personal Trivia.” This one can take the jingle out of your jeans, but the girls really enjoy it. Again, a correct answer earns 20 baht. After the question, I give three potential answers, one of which is correct.

Normally, this draws a crowd of about three or four girls to my table. Here’s how it goes:

I ask a question like: “How much do I weigh?” Then I stand up, turn around, and listen to their answers. Some pick the right answer and get their happy reward of 20 baht.

I continue on with meaningless trivia questions about how old I am, how long I have lived in Thailand, how many kids I have, etc. You get the idea.

It’s hilarious and profitable fun for them as well as for me.

The Underwear Colour Game That Draws a Crowd

The most fun question is when I ask them: “What color is my underwear that I’m wearing?” I give them three choices.

The squeal they let out when I unzip my fly to show the color of my boxers is great fun!

Lesson here: you can have a fantastic time in a Thailand beer bar without paying a bar fine. Just be creative.