A Love Story That Worked From Hua Hin to Perth
I started going to Thailand about 12 years ago. I love the place. I have experienced many stupid and crazy things over the years and I have traveled a fair bit around the kingdom. In my 35 plus visits to the country I always seem to end up in Pattaya. I took a few beautiful Thai ladies on one week holidays to the islands etc. Sometimes I kept the same girl for two or three trips before all the fizz went out of the bottle if you get my meaning.
I met a lovely girl in Pattaya about eight years ago. She was 10 years younger than me. We traveled on lots of holidays around Thailand plus Laos Cambodia and Singapore twice. She also came to visit me here in Australia. I had asked her to come over for a longer period to help me as I was ill but she said she was too busy. So as you can imagine that didn’t go down too well with me. Needless to say the relationship came to a screaming halt.
After a few months of recovery I was back to full steam. On my next trip I stayed at my favorite hotel on Soi 10 and I was a frequent visitor of Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza. Nothing too exciting on that trip so I decided to try somewhere new and booked a trip to Hua Hin. I had met a lady online; we spent a couple of nights in Bangkok before going to her place. It was all good for a week before she started with ‘I want I want’ and ‘I need I need.’ It transpired she was not the very nice girl I thought she was so I immediately upped and left and headed straight over to the main bar area near the Hilton Hotel.
I hadn’t booked anywhere to stay and I was carrying my luggage with me. After wandering around for about 30 minutes I was starting to get tired and I went into a boring looking bar just to get out of the heat have a cold one and rest my legs. I asked a girl in the bar if she knew anywhere locally I could stay. Being what she thought was a rich farang she immediately pointed at the five star Hilton Hotel. This totally pissed me off and I decided I would get drunk instead of hotel hunting.
After about five minutes of my drink the bar manager told me she had a girl that would take me to a hotel and I could leave my bag in the bar for now. So I went along with this girl who didn’t speak a word of English I’m not exaggerating. She took me to what was probably the worst hotel in Hua Hin and definitely the worst hotel I’ve ever stayed in in Thailand. The hotel told me it was $20 a night but I found out later they gave the girl $10 back so it was actually $10 a night. I don’t think it was worth that. I paid my $20 and went back to the bar with the girl. I proceeded to get very drunk with her and as I had no idea where the hotel was she had to come back with me after the bar had closed.
Well believe it or not that was the start of a love affair and we soon upgraded to a much nicer hotel. This was just before COVID so we went to Laos and Cambodia for the New Year. How we got together when she didn’t speak a word of English I don’t know but we did. We lived together in Hua Hin for about two months. She studied English and worked in a massage shop. I had to return to Australia to get a retirement visa to continue my holiday. Within a month I was back in Thailand. My memories of Pattaya were too much so off we went together me and Madame Hua Hin.
The Rejected Perth Visa
Anyway after a couple of months I bought a small condo in Pattaya. She continued her English studies and massage work. I asked her if she would like to come to Perth in Australia. ‘Yes yes’ was her reply. So after Bangkok to deal with immigration again meanwhile I had to come home to transfer some money at the same time I received news from border control that her holiday visa had been rejected as they thought once she was in the country she posed a flight risk. We were both shattered at this news.
Now this bit of the story is totally unbelievable and it nearly made my head explode on hearing it. But it transpired that when immigration had called her in Thailand she couldn’t remember my name as it was printed in my passport and that was the main reason her holiday visa was rejected. You couldn’t make it up. Mind you to be fair to her my name is very difficult to pronounce especially for a non English speaking person.
Never been one to give up I taught her to pronounce my name perfectly. It only took about three hours. We applied for the visa again and a year later we were married in Perth. That was five years ago. She has a successful massage shop in Perth and we are both still madly in love with each other. She now speaks quite good English as well. And yes that was the first bar she worked in and I was the first farang she went with hence why she spoke no English at all.
You see it’s not all doom and gloom. You can get lucky if you’re looking for a serious girlfriend but actually at the time I wasn’t. We plan to visit Thailand soon. The problem now is I still love Thailand but she loves Australia.
Story Two A Backpackers Paradise Thailand in the Early 90s
I had been working in the financial district of London in the 1990s working in the accounts department. This was very depressing for a young man in his early twenties. I found it hard to meet girls as I hated discos or loud pubs. I sometimes went on all male holidays with friends to Benidorm to watch revolting acts like Sticky Vicky and a live show with a couple doing stuff on stage while the dads with nylon Manchester United shirts were drinking from old style pint glasses and were on a works fortnight holiday.
I was seeking adventure and was drifting through life. To my delight I found myself being made redundant from my company and they gave me a nice leaving salary packet. Most people would have put it as a deposit on a house or bought a car but I wasn’t ready to settle down. The delays on the trains every day were ruining my health and the mind numbingly boring job made me desperate to escape. I was to become a backpacker.
I went down to the African Travel Centre in King’s Cross and found an advert for a London to Cape Town trip overland. After spending a couple of years backpacking solo around Africa (30 out of 51 countries) several bouts of malaria corrupt police sheer squalor constant begging harassment agonizing chicken buses rammed with livestock and having to pay a large bribe just to walk down the street that’s another story altogether. Anyway like most travelers I had my fair share of pay for play ladies but it was not particularly hard to find a nice girl in Africa without paying her in fact it was almost too easy. Apart from being considered a rich white man it was a status symbol to have a white boyfriend that opened doors to upmarket NGO restaurants and hotels.
But in the end it was just a ruse to escape poverty and they were considered mere upmarket call girls by everybody.
I kept hearing about Thailand from other travelers but thought it was just full of old men. The backpacking scene did seem appealing with full moon parties and relaxing without the constant pestering from beggars. It was time to see for myself.
Coming from a one bedroom cell in the Catholic mission in Kinshasa in what was then Zaire to Bangkok in the early 90s was like going to another planet. Suddenly everything works public transport clean guesthouses hassle free good food and nice welcoming locals. I thought I had wasted all these years on expensive visas and struggling through dusty streets in the towns and villages of Africa. Bangkok was Utopia compared with those hellish places safe cheap and easy to make new friends.
Khao San Road in the Early Nineties
Like most backpackers in their early 20s I headed straight to Khao San Road. It was considered the Holy Grail of backpackers cheap beer young Aussie girls in their braids and fisherman’s pants fake driving licenses and all the latest bootleg Hollywood releases playing at every guesthouse. The service culture of Asia could not be more different to Africa or even Europe. The difference was night and day. It was possible to do anything.
I got to know Bangkok very well and started to get to know the receptionist at the official youth hostel I was staying at. Tom was really sweet and shy and I felt I could not make moves until we had been on several dates.
Koh Chang The Trip of a Lifetime
After a few weeks and a visa run later she casually asked me if I would like to join her and four of her classmates from the English language school for a trip to Koh Chang. The thought of going to a tropical island with four girls and me was every man’s dream. I couldn’t sleep that night with excitement. It was only for the weekend but we all met up on the Friday lunchtime at the bus station. She introduced me to her friends Kit a no name girl and a boy called Park. It turned out that Park was a gay man I think Thais call it ‘gay’ out of respect. I had no problem but my ultimate fantasy was reduced by one.
The bus journey was fairly uneventful and we had to change several times to a small pickup truck and then the slow boat to the island. In those days it was not developed so much. So I let them speak to the locals to find cheap accommodation. We found a small hut made with crude bamboo with separate rooms. I was asked if I could share with Park. I politely declined and they all laughed.
The next day we all changed into our swimming costumes to go for a snorkeling trip. As I undressed in my room it all went quiet and I could tell they were peeking through the gaps in the bamboo canes. I thought ‘Why not?’ and I gave them a damn good show. In my 20s my manhood was pretty much always stuck on semi mode especially with an audience. A few muffled giggles it was the sign. I knew they had seen my ‘little me.’
We boarded an old fashioned fishing boat and were handed life vests and headed to a reef. The Thais tend to never leave the shore without life vests. We all jumped off the boat and it was amusing to see them floating around not actually diving down to see the corals and fish due to the buoyancy of the life vests. I could not help showing off diving and retrieving sea urchins from around 15 feet. The girls looked very petite and lovely in their black one piece bathing suits. I had to do some emergency dives to hide my excitement.
The crew on the boat were very knowledgeable about the local marine animals and I inquired using the girls to interpret. I asked if there were any sharks. The crew all looked at me and shook their heads but later spoke in Thai which I could not understand. Later that night it was explained to me that asking about sharks was considered bad luck for fishermen but at night large tiger sharks would come in close to the shore.
After a feast of crab sticky rice and king prawns I plucked up the courage to ask Tom who was the hotel receptionist to take a walk on the beach with me. It was greeted with whistling and laughing from the others. We strolled down the hot humid beach eventually stopping and sitting on the white powder sand. She looked stunning with her long black hair waving in the gentle breeze. Like most Thai girls they look a lot younger than European girls. I knew for sure she was over 21 but I just could not ask her as it’s considered rude and she was so pure and shy.
Leaving the Beach With Regret
We talked a while and went back to the hut. The others were already in their rooms and we said goodnight and went to our separate rooms. I knew I would regret this but I had done the moral and respectful thing. This would be a slow burn. Nothing was said the next day but we had to get back. On the way home we managed to get a minibus to take us all the way back to Bangkok. It rained the entire journey but I could not help thinking I could have had mad passionate love in paradise and chickened out.
Moving In
A few weeks on I was invited to stay in another girl’s apartment (name that I can’t pronounce to this day or let alone spell) and contribute to the rent. I was very happy to get out of the 30 Baht a night fan dorm room with several other loud backpackers. Her apartment was a bit shabby but perfectly adequate for a single person. To my surprise there was only one single bed. I immediately said I would sleep on the floor but she just smiled and said ‘No need.’ First night was a bit awkward but it was agreed no aerobics and it was just a ‘friend thing.’ Most nights I went to sleep with a flagpole in my shorts if you know what I mean. She wasn’t the best looking girl but I didn’t want to upset Tom and try my luck.
I could look Tom in the face and say nothing had gone on.
Another visa run and hanging out with the three girls (Park had disappeared at this point) it was the best time of my life. We regularly met up in the evening and had street food. Knowing where to go was one of the benefits of knowing the locals. Mostly Northern Thai food and salty small fish was one of my favorite things on the menu.
A Night at Narawans Family Home
One of the girls called Narawan was working as a tour guide in one of the big hotels near Sukhumvit. She would practice her speech in English on me describing the Reclining Buddha and the Floating Market. She was the most confident of them and had a nice bob cut hairstyle and a nice proportioned figure with a larger than average chest. She asked me if I would like to stay at her place for the night. I didn’t want to jeopardize my friendship with Tom but now I was getting all the signs and I knew I could not hold on any longer. I thought ‘Tonight is the night.’
She had a small car it was clapped out but just about running in the Bangkok traffic. Her house was a two story in a quiet little street. I walked in only to find her parents doing the washing up in the small kitchen. I did a Thai ‘wai’ greeting clasping my hands together to show them respect and I bowed and said the best ‘Sawadee khrap’ I could. I was obviously deflated and knew my chances of a hot passionate night were almost zero. I slept in her bedroom while she slept with her mother.
In the morning she came in and kissed me on the cheek. It was very early and the Thais seemed to function on little sleep. She dropped me in town on her way to work while sipping a large iced coffee we had got from 7 Eleven. I plucked up enough courage to ask her if she would like to come up to a jungle resort in the mountains. She smiled and said as a travel agent she could get staff rates. We decided to go on the trip the following weekend. Finally I would get my wicked way.
She picked me up in her car. We drove to the countryside and got a long tail boat which took over an hour to reach the resort. It was pitch dark when we arrived but this place was out of this world. The huts were made from granite and marble. We dropped our bags and headed out for dinner. That night was the most passionate night of my life. Being in my early 20s it went on until we could hear the roosters calling out first light.
After this we went to empty hotel rooms where she worked or wherever we could to have some privacy. On one occasion we were around Tom’s place and we made love in the shower. I was halfway through the act when she said ‘Tom could join us.’ It was past the point of no return but this really stuck in my head. Two girls would be the ultimate fantasy. The moment was lost by her parents coming in and we got dressed and dashed out the back. I never had another chance again and that’s one of my biggest regrets.
My money was running out and Narawan was getting very clingy. She knew it would end soon. Several crying sessions followed each time we were intimate. She even offered to move up to another hotel chain in the north of Thailand and support me. I just knew I would rot and become an alcoholic like many farangs before me. It was time to go back home.
Goodbye at Don Mueang Airport
On one dreaded day me Narawan and Tom took the final taxi to Don Mueang Airport and said our goodbyes. We knew it would be over. I had precisely 143 pounds in my bank account and would need to save up for 12 months before returning to Thailand. She had been the sweetest and most generous person I’d ever met. To think she knew I had no money and she offered to let me live with her for free.
Years later I heard Narawan was working in Dubai and Tom had found a Western husband and was now living in Europe. Life’s too short and it’s true it is wasted on the young. I will remember those days to the end for I have already been to paradise.
Story Three The Two Day Rule A Lesson Learned on Koh Samet
Upon opening the door I was pleasantly surprised that she had not Photoshopped or filtered her profile pictures which is quite common on dating apps. I invited her in and first made sure she was not a ladyboy with some keen observation skills I have developed over time. She told me she was from the north and had two children living with her mom and dad. She was absolutely stunning but I could tell maybe she had some surgery to enhance her beauty which was fine by me.
After about 15 minutes in the room we’re off to a wine bar not far away. Sitting across from her at the wine bar I was even more amazed at her beauty and her English was very good. I knew this was going to be a good night. We talked and laughed for about two hours and she had three or four glasses of wine and I had at least four or five beers. We left the wine bar and walked down Second Road holding hands like it was our honeymoon. I noticed a few guys in the bars giving me the thumbs up. I felt like I’d hit the jackpot.
We stopped at another bar which her friend owned and had one more drink. I bought her friends a round of shots and then we left. Back at the hotel the aerobics were amazing. She was feeling pretty relaxed after the wine and seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. She stayed the night and left around 8 AM in the morning. Before she left we made plans to see each other again in the evening.
She showed up at my hotel of course 30 minutes late as expected. She suggested a restaurant called Sky Gallery so we hopped into a taxi and off we went. I was quite impressed with the restaurant beautiful view good food and great ambiance but definitely pricey. Dinner appetizers wine and cocktails for the both of us was about 3500 Baht. After dinner we repeated the same as the night before she brought me to another bar which her friend owned more drinks more rounds for her friends. Back to the room for an even better night than the previous one.
The next day she texted me and said her and her friends would pick me up at around 6 PM and she had another restaurant she recommended. She showed up with three friends a lesbian couple and the driver which all seemed to be a lot of fun. Off we went to another restaurant on the ocean which again appeared to be pricey. The five of us ate and drank and enjoyed ourselves but I was starting to see a pattern emerge in the back of my mind. I knew she was using me to treat her friends to an expensive night out.
We left the restaurant and the bill was again 3000 Baht. She almost seemed disappointed that it wasn’t more money as more money meant more face in front of her friends. Anyway we all headed back to Central Pattaya and hit a live rock and roll music bar and drank for a few hours and yes it was all on me. Back to the room and another repeat even better than the last.
The Koh Samet Daily Rate Problem
The next day when she was leaving I told her I was off to Koh Samet tomorrow for a few days and I would see her when I return. I could see the disappointment in her eyes the gravy train was coming to a stop. She asked me if she could go and I answered without thinking and said yes.
That evening she showed up at the room same time as always but this time with her bag packed. We went for another night visiting her friends’ bars with me being the farang always paying the bills. Honestly it was starting to get a bit old at this point. That night we returned to the hotel and I had a few drinks and decided to throw her a curveball. I told her she could come to the island with me and enjoy the resort room food and drinks but I would not pay her daily rate on top of that. She could enjoy an all expenses paid vacation on me but with no extra fee for her services.
This is where things took a turn. The tears began to flow and her face turned red with anger. She then stormed out of the room with bag in hand. I soon received a call from the front desk ‘Hello mister everything okay? Your lady cry when she leave.’ I explained we had a misunderstanding and things were fine. The next few hours I received a barrage of angry text messages from her and I could tell she was really really angry. She explained that she had made arrangements with a driver and asked me not to cancel with him I assumed she had a kickback. I agreed not to cancel and help my gram with the offer I had made reiterating to her she could take a few days off and enjoy a vacation at my expense but she wouldn’t budge.
The next morning the driver arrived and off we went to the ferry boat to Rayong. During the ride I couldn’t help but think she could have easily had me bumped off. I heard several calls between the driver and somebody who I assumed was her checking on me that I’d not taken another girl with me. Yes she was that mad.
After landing at my hotel in Koh Samet I started to second guess myself. Had I been a bit too harsh? Was I going to be lonely the next two or three days? Was I being a cheap Charlie? After dropping my stuff off in the room I headed into town. I went to 7 Eleven for the usual room supplies beer peanuts water etc. As I was heading down the alley back towards my hotel with supplies in hand a cute young lady with jeans shorts and pink lipstick appears out of nowhere and says hello and asks me if I want a massage in my room. Needless to say I needed a massage and something to get my mind off that last 24 hours.
I had a great time in Koh Samet and every day I realized that I dodged a financial bullet and that she would have run up the hotel bill lounging at the pool beaches dinners cocktails and wines. And at the end of the day the lesson is always stick to the two day rule. The girlfriend experience can become the bad girlfriend experience quicker than you realize.
Back From Pattaya and Jomtien
Story Four Living the Dream An English Teachers Success in Bangkok
My name is Paul. I am 55 years old from London. Here is my story.
Eight years ago I was a headmaster in the UK enjoying high end holidays and activities. I had a decent standard of living in a lovely part of the UK with two lovely girls just about to embark upon their university education. Everything was great except emotionally I was in a mess. I was involved in a somewhat toxic relationship with someone who just did not give me the support which I needed. Despite trying to fix our marriage of around 20 years things quickly fell apart and it all ended in divorce and me eventually working as an English teacher here in Bangkok.
Initially I had two Thai relationships which just didn’t work. The first lady was from Chiang Rai and was working here in Bangkok but things were up and down and she just wanted to get married which I knew would not work as we had nothing much in common. The second lady was from Sukhothai and was the classic gold digger type. By then the money was coming in again as I took a leadership position in an international school in Saudi Arabia combining work in the Middle East with plenty of breaks here in the Land of Smiles. This moody insurance clerk enjoyed living in my rented flat in Bangkok enjoyed high end trips to Japan and Singapore we even went skiing in Korea but her mood swings were extreme. She was often invited and hit me three times. Once I moved back permanently to Thailand the tax free cash dried up.
She did not like it when I forced her to rein in her excessive spending on pretty much everything. This lady was particular to the extreme and in hindsight I have no idea why I stayed with her. So do be careful if you wannabes get stuck in a similar rut as it will end in tears.
Once on a trip to Rayong in the south she stormed off on a boat at 6 AM after sitting up on the veranda of our hotel all night with a face like a smacked backside. Silly me I followed her as without me there was no way she could have got herself back to Bangkok as she left everything including her ID and cash on the island. This was four years ago.
So I’m again on the Thai Cupid dating app for round three. This time things were much more successful as I had learned from some of my previous mistakes. Luckily for me back in Sisaket in the north of Thailand around the turn of the millennium a teenager was fantasizing over the legendary footballer David Beckham. Jump forward 18 years and she had naturally set up her search profile on the said app. Her face didn’t drop too much as I walked out of the arrivals hall at the airport and we fell instantly in love.
What Worked in Thailand
Maybe it was my advanced and scary use of English which attracted her perhaps my height unlikely my fat belly. But whatever you look like you do to a certain extent have a unique selling point here in Thailand where the minimum wage is barely 10 pounds a day. So be careful.
Very quickly I was renting a condo on the top floor of the same block where she lived with her mother and two very young children. It all worked out very well. As a trained primary school teacher I loved children and her mother was harmless enough and always smiled at me. We had our ups and downs but we had our own space. She would go to work daily she also worked locally where she was a biology teacher. I did likewise. Slowly and steadily the relationship began to build up and be successful.
So for all of you wannabes thinking of throwing in the towel in the West how has it worked out for me? Well employment was fairly easy to obtain although I’m a fully qualified teacher (other nationalities might struggle) and I now work as an English teacher in Bangkok in a small international school. My salary is pretty grim compared to what I was earning back in the UK and Saudi but we do rent a superb three bedroom detached house in a gated suburb of Bangkok which is very affordable plus we have had some Japanese holidays prior to COVID. I always spend less than my limited salary and I can just about stay afloat financially.
Our relationship works very well because we kept our own space for the full two years and the love blossomed as she and her children learned more English. The eight year old girl now speaks fluent English and her younger brother is not far behind. A few weeks ago my girlfriend was confused over some random phrase I was using but her daughter was easily able to translate for her and that felt great for everyone.
Anyone embarking on a lifetime in Thailand should remember that it takes a lot of hard work to keep things going. One needs a unique selling point often money is not enough. Once you have progressed beyond the stages of extreme aerobics and fantasy it is necessary to have a plan. For me it was easy. My unique selling point is that I have fully accepted her family. I absolutely adore her children and so do my own children back in the UK who have both now been here and bonded with everyone.
My girlfriend is hard working and intelligent and she usually copes with my moaning every 90 days when something goes wrong at immigration or twice weekly when someone (usually in a minibus) deliberately pulls out in the path of my motorbike. She has a great sense of humor doesn’t really mind my slightly weird views of life and finally she does not want a British passport.
A Future in Isaan
Our future once I eventually retire is probably in Isaan with a couple of trips back home to England every year. I do miss some aspects of the UK. Thailand is a friendly place with lovely people but it is different. I can communicate in basic Thai and have taught myself to read and write some words but things are hard work. The years are different here they count differently. Logic is not always logical. So if you learn to speak the language then as long as you can afford it I recommend your move to Thailand.
My partner is a lovely lady. She has her beautiful children who I love as my own. Her family are normal and there are no massive financial payments just to stand still as in so many other relationships here which we read about normally ending in disaster. The 20 pounds I paid to join Thai Cupid for just one month was worth it. Back home I would just not have had any matches but here I had more than I could handle. So it was the best investment I ever made.
I am literally living the dream decent weather no cynical issues of light reduced depression every November to March as back home the petrol is dirt cheap I swim every day and am surrounded by hard working students with a 1950s mentality to work ethics which my fellow British teachers and friends can only dream about. I am in the best relationship ever. I love my partner and her family and I recommend this lifestyle to anyone once you hit your middle ages as I literally feel like a new man.
