Thai Policeman Lie That Cost Everything

I have been to Thailand many times but I always say it takes at least three visits to learn the basics such as how to deal with bar girls avoid scams and know where to go and where not to go. By ‘where not to go’ I don’t just mean safety as Pattaya is relatively safe I mean in terms of money.

For example when on Walking Street do what it says at the entrance of Walking Street keep walking. Soi Six is the same. Of course go and take a look it’s a sight to see but keep walking or you’ll get ripped off. No I’m not a cheap Charlie as I say but I am sensible with my money. Therefore I refuse to be ripped off.

But as I mentioned earlier it takes time to find the quieter areas that still offer the same options as the two areas I mentioned but are lighter on the wallet. In Pattaya you could spend as much or as little money as you want but we must understand that we are in charge of what we do.

First Pattaya Visits

Let me tell you my first visit to Thailand was truly a shock to the system. My friend and I stayed at the Diamond Beach Hotel just off Walking Street. We arrived in the mid afternoon and were unloading our luggage from the taxi. Suddenly we hear ‘Hello hello! Where are you from handsome man? Do you want to drink?’ the whole lot. You know the sort of stuff they come out with. I’d never experienced anything like this in my life.

Anyway we checked into the hotel had a quick shower and went out. We had a few beers at the Carousel Bar surrounded by ladies who in my eyes looked like supermodels. We then had the mandatory look around Walking Street had a meal and took a walk down Beach Road. I was in heaven. This was my first night in Pattaya.

It’s pointless to tell you about the rest of my holiday because those who have visited Pattaya will know. But I will say we spent a lot of time in and around Soi 7 and Soi 8. After the first time we decided to go again but we stayed in the Pig and Whistle on Soi 7. It was reasonably priced and the food was quite nice. The following year we stayed over the road at the Destiny 7 Hotel. Because I don’t drink during the day I liked staying here because I had a nice pool and there was a 7 Eleven next door. Happy days.

Learning the Pattaya Game

Now as I mentioned at the beginning you eventually learn the ropes. The ladies are mainly full of BS so eventually you start talking the same talk as they do. I’m sure we’ve all done it.

I’ve been many things while talking to these girls a retired teacher a shop owner and ‘I’ve got two cars and a big house on the hill back home in the UK.’ In reality though I worked in a warehouse and lived in rented accommodation. But hey they play the game so I play the game too. But they’re not stupid they’ve heard it all before.

Remember all you see in Pattaya is fantasy. It’s what has been sold to you so sell it back I say.

I’ve seen girls who wait with their two week millionaires for his taxi to the airport only to begin his journey home in tears as he leaves the city. Later that same night they would be with a new two week millionaire.

This without going into all the details is a brief summary of my first three visits to Pattaya. I would like to say ‘Thailand‘ but Pattaya bears no resemblance to the normal beautiful and friendly people of the rest of Thailand.

After three visits to Pattaya I decided it was enough for me. It was like being locked inside a sweet shop you would eat a few then you’d be sick. So at that time I decided I would not return to Pattaya.

Enough of Pattaya

I always relate to the advice an Australian man gave me. He said ‘If you can smile on the plane on your way to Thailand and smile again on the plane on the way home then you’ve had a good trip.’ Personally I find it very true.

I’ve been three times now played the game with only a few minor scratches. But now is the time to say been there done that. Little did I know that trying to play the game in the future would come back to bite me on the backside in a big way that I could never imagine.

Thai Friendly and Kop

I did return to Thailand several more times and I visited Phuket Hua Hin Krabi among a few places but I never met or found may I say wife material which deep down I wanted to find. Oh well.

I kept working back home in the UK and instead I holidayed in the usual Brit places like Spain Turkey Greece etc. A few years had passed and I started to feel lonely. I wanted a good and happy relationship with a lady no matter which country she came from.

One evening while browsing on my laptop I came across a site called Thai Friendly. Intrigued I decided to take out a three month subscription. I contacted several ladies and a few ladies contacted me. At first it was okay but I wasn’t interested in a lady who had had kids. Also there were the usual scamming culprits on the site. I talked to one or two for about a month but either they were not what I was looking for or to be fair I was not what they were looking for. So I stopped looking for a while.

One day when I came home from work I saw that a lady had shown interest in me. Those of you who use or have used Thai Friendly will know that this is what happens when someone likes your profile.

The lady called Kop was stunning with a profile that said she had a master’s degree and was the head of English at a school in the south of Thailand about a six hour drive from Bangkok. I thought she looked amazing and I had the feeling that she could be an ideal wife. However I wondered how a lady with a master’s degree and a highly respected job in Thailand could be interested in a warehouse worker from a tough city in the northwest of England.

Despite my doubts I decided to send her a message back and show interest in her. The next morning Kop replied to me with a very nice and polite message. We talked about our time difference and agreed on a time that would suit us both to talk because it was winter here in the UK Thailand is seven hours ahead.

Talking With Kop Online

The next day we exchanged messages and Kop and I started talking on the Line app. She wanted to see me on camera so feeling nervous I called her. She seemed very happy and said she could see I’m real. We then exchanged messages every day and small messages at random times.

The Retired Policeman Lie

One day Kop asked me about my work in the UK. I was afraid that if I told her I worked in a warehouse she wouldn’t be interested in me anymore. So I instantly said the first thing that came into my mind ‘I was a retired policeman.’

To my surprise she seemed very happy with my answer. After much thought I thought there would be no way to find out that I wasn’t a policeman in the past. However I was wrong and the consequences would be very bad.

A few months later as the weeks went by we video called each other every day and grew closer developing genuine feelings for each other. She was the most beautiful person both inside and out that I’d ever met. We were falling in love without a doubt. She never talked about money and we never discussed lovemaking. This doesn’t happen with a true Thai lady who has been taught traditional Thai values.

One afternoon she messaged me saying that there was something she needed to talk to me about. She revealed that because she used to be in the police she felt the need to tell me. She said that she would understand if I never wanted to contact her again.

I was shocked and thought that Kop had deceived me. I had fallen in love with her despite this. I replied asking her to tell me. An hour later she shared that her brother was a politician and was involved with the mafia.

While I knew nothing about the Thai mafia I naively believed that they were only those who owned a few bars in Pattaya or Bangkok. I told her that her family situation wouldn’t affect our relationship. For the first time she said she loved me and I reciprocated. I was thrilled and couldn’t wait to meet her in person.

Kop Reveals Her Family Problem

The next day I asked my boss for three weeks off in January. He agreed and I booked my ticket to Thailand through Emirates Airline. I shared the itinerary with Kop and she called me in tears of joy. We were both excited about our upcoming meeting and started talking about marriage. We knew it sounded crazy but we were in love and that was all that mattered.

As January approached we talked about where I would stay. Without hesitation she invited me to stay with her at her house which was a two hour drive from her family’s home. She said she saw me as her future husband and wasn’t afraid because she had never slept with a man or been to a bar. I felt like the luckiest man in the world to meet such a lady.

Arrival and Kops Home

When I arrived in Bangkok we arranged to meet at exit door number eight. As I walked towards it my heart was pounding. As I approached she lightly tugged on my arm and there she was. I went to give her a kiss but she linked arms with me instead.

We walked towards a taxi area below arrivals but she said that her brother had sent a car to take us to her home. We got into a top of the range Mercedes and the driver put my luggage in the trunk. Kop and I held hands and talked the whole way to her home. She had bought food and drinks for me and we were excited to spend time together. She told me that her family wanted to meet the following week which made me nervous.

I noticed that the driver was watching me in the rearview mirror which made me uncomfortable. However I assumed it was because I was a foreigner.

Out of respect I’m not going to talk about the first week that I stayed at Kop’s home but everything was perfect. She took me to many nice places. We joked like two teenagers and we were in love. What more does a man need?

I remember one evening I asked her why she had never married. She then for the first time told me that she had a lot of land. She was the owner of the home where we were staying and she was the owner of her mum’s home. She said she had never met a man who could match what she had so she never married. She said her family once introduced her to a man but because he was in the mafia she didn’t like him.

I was beginning to worry about meeting her family but could not think about anything going wrong. When we got married she would come to England with me and I would probably only see them once per year.

Meeting Kops Family

We drove to the district where her family lived and checked into a hotel about five miles away. We then visited her mum who was such a nice and very welcoming lady. She did not want to go out for a meal she cooked for us. I nearly died when Kop said it was spicy. She looked at my face and she and her mum laughed at me. But I have to admit it was nice.

Later that night Kop’s sister came with her husband and it was a really good night. I began to think the ‘mafia’ was an exaggeration.

We eventually drove back to the hotel and Kop said ‘Tomorrow we meet my brother. He wants to look at you.’ I have to admit I was nervous. I said to Kop ‘Does your brother drink?’ She said yes he likes whiskey. I said ‘Before we meet I’ll buy him a bottle.’ She smiled and was happy I did so.

The next evening we arrived at her brother’s home. Now by Thai standards this house was pure luxury. There were two top of the range cars on the drive. We walked around the back and there sitting outside was Kop’s brother and his wife with two Thai men.

Kop introduced me to him. He certainly didn’t seem like the friendliest of men and he was definitely checking me out with his eyes. He talked to Kop for a while in what seemed to be a business like manner and Kop was behaving like she was subservient to him. But I put it down to Thai hierarchy within the family.

The two Thai men disappeared and I then presented him with the bottle of whiskey I bought for him. He was asking me questions and Kop was translating for me. He was obviously suspicious of me and I was trying not to look or feel uncomfortable.

The Lie Gets Exposed

He disappeared for about 15 minutes and the mood with Kop and his wife became more relaxed. I could hear her brother talking to someone on the phone inside the house but I didn’t think anything of it. He came back outside and poured himself a whiskey. He then said something to Kop and she looked nervous.

She said to me ‘My brother says you don’t look like an ex police officer.’ I said ‘How must a policeman look?’ Kop then told her brother what I said and I felt like he thought I disrespected him.

About 30 minutes later two highly decorated policemen arrived wearing more medals than Colonel Gaddafi. I just knew my lie had been uncovered. Two other men appeared from nowhere but were told to stay in the background.

One of the high ranking policemen spoke to me and they took great joy in seeing the shock on my face as he spoke perfect English. I was embarrassed and scared.

He asked me ‘Why have you tried to deceive your friend’s sister and her family?’ Stupidly I said ‘What do you mean?’ At that point Kop took her hand off my knee under the table. He said ‘Do not lie. We knew you were never a police officer.’

I tried to tell them the truth but Kop’s brother didn’t believe me. He ordered Kop and the two men to leave. At that moment I didn’t know where they went.

The Airport Threat

The police sat down and stared at me. Kop’s brother pulled out a small handgun from his bag and put it against the back of my head. I was terrified. He said something to the police and they told me ‘You are very lucky. Collect all your things from the hotel and tonight you will be taken to Bangkok Airport.’

I didn’t dare mention that I also had things at Kop’s sister’s home because it might have pushed him over the edge. He pulled the gun away and I thought he would kill me.

After a long time Kop returned and said everything was in the car. Luckily I had my passport money and tickets in the bag I had with me. Kop looked at me with hurt in her eyes and asked ‘Why did you pretend with me?’ I said ‘I’m sorry.’ She said ‘Now I will walk the path and never look back at you.’ With that she left and I never saw her again.

The two men who had taken Kop to the hotel gestured for me to get into the car. Kop’s brother spoke to the police and they warned me that if I ever returned to Thailand he would know and he would kill me.

After a nerve wracking journey I saw the signs for the airport and felt relieved. When the car pulled up to departures my ticket wasn’t valid for another 12 days but I didn’t care. The driver pulled up and the other Thai man took my bag out of the boot. He didn’t speak but looked deeply into my eyes.

I was still shaken up but I didn’t care now because I was at the airport and there were CCTV cameras everywhere. It was 430 in the morning and there wasn’t a soul at the Emirates check in. I walked upstairs but the Emirates office wasn’t open either. I was still shaking inside so I decided to go outside for a cigarette.

Final Goodbye to Thailand

As I walked towards the designated smoking area I saw a familiar face. It was one of the ‘guards’ and he said very abrasively ‘Stupid farang.’ I said no and walked back into the airport safely.

Unfortunately when Emirates opened up there were no seats available that day but they put me on standby after I told them a family member was very ill and I must get back. Luckily I got a flight back to the UK that afternoon.

As the aircraft took off I thought ‘Game over.’ And as we climbed into the clouds I took one last look at Thailand below and said goodbye. I never returned again.

I often wonder how my Thai angel is and what she is doing now and I often wonder how things might have been if I had told the truth about my work. I guess I learned how to lie after visiting Pattaya.

Lessons From the Lie

If I can give some advice from my story there are two points I would like to make

1. In Pattaya play the game. The bar girls play the game very well so be forever vigilant and play the game too.

2. Think about the bar girls you are falling in love with. If she works at the bar seven nights per week and gets the bare minimum of five customers per week (I’m being generous here) do your maths. That’s 260 men per year and probably more. So is she really wife material? I think not.

Do not do what I did. If you are lucky enough to be given the chance to settle down with a true Thai lady who holds true Thai morals do not make the same mistake as I did. Because these ladies are not fools they are very well educated. And if you tell them just one lie no matter what you say to them they will think everything you have said is a lie too.

Story Two Forty Dollar Fake Rolex Adventure

I am recently divorced and have lost much faith in the quality of American women who are single and over 35. In my opinion beautiful women in the US over the age of 35 are probably single for a reason. I do not see myself ever getting married again and am content with filling my remaining days with fun and casual relationships.

My friend told me I need to experience life abroad if I’m lacking faith in American women. I thought to myself ‘Damn I knew I was friends with this guy for a reason. What a great idea!’ Without delay I booked my plane ticket and hotel accommodations. The two weeks I now needed to wait until my departure was starting to seem like an eternity.

Finally the day came where I left for Bangkok. I wish there was an easier way to get to Bangkok the length of the flights were the worst part of my trip. I had an overnight layover in New York. As I left my New York hotel for dinner I was asked by a man on the street if I wanted to buy a Rolex. I looked at him and saw the watch in his hand. It looked identical to my real Rolex watch back home. I was actually quite impressed with the detail the watch had. Unless you are a fine jeweler or you own a Rolex you would probably never really know.

He would sell it to me for eighty dollars. I told the guy that I wasn’t in the market for a watch but if he wanted to sell it to me for forty dollars maybe we could do business. He didn’t say anything and looked away. I figured he got his feelings hurt and I began walking away. He said ‘Wait wait okay I’ll sell it to you for forty dollars.’

I had contemplated bringing my real watch with me but never having been to Thailand I didn’t know if it would draw the wrong attention. So I left it at home. This proved to be a wise move. Nonetheless I now had a fake one to wear on my trip that I didn’t care about.

First Night in Bangkok

Here I was in Bangkok and I just checked into my hotel. After hearing your stories which I listened to on the flight over I felt like a seasoned vet. I had a paper copy of my passport. I chose not to take pictures of my passport with my phone out of fear that if I should have a run in with the police I would possibly have my phone confiscated as they had confiscated passports in some of your stories.

With my valuables locked in the hotel safe I left the hotel with no destination in mind. I was going to ride the breeze in Bangkok and see where it took me. My goal was to look for beautiful women everywhere I went and that wasn’t hard to do. There were pretty women everywhere.

I found myself at Hooters Nana as I was quite familiar with the Hooters brand. I was talking up some waitress and she was fixated on my watch every time she came to the table but never mentioned it in words. After a few beers I began walking down the street and found myself in a beer bar. It was early and there weren’t many people there yet.

I was speaking to the mamasan. I asked if she had any new girls of legal age that worked for her who hadn’t been tainted by the bar girl life yet.

The Watch Gets Attention

She explained she had a girl recently start working who was from just outside Chiang Mai but she had not agreed to be bar fined yet. I sat there drinking beers and when the woman showed up she was introduced to me. She was very pretty funny and polite. We laughed over a few beers and she kept rubbing my arm and kept running her fingertips over the watch on my wrist.

I began thinking to myself ‘Wow how easily these women fixate their attention on my fake watch.’ I asked if she was interested in being bar fined to spend a couple of days with me and she explained she wasn’t ready yet. I told her I understood and that I was going to move to another seat and I would talk to her in a little bit.

As the evening approached two women showed up to work that were absolutely stunning. One looked to be built for speed and the other was built for durability. I smiled at them and they walked by. They soon came back to talk to me. A few lady drinks later we were laughing. One kept holding my hand playing with my watch and the other kept whispering in my ear.

Speed and Durability

I began to think to myself first I am taking a fake Rolex with me next time I come to Thailand. And second what are the chances I can bar fine both girls tonight? As a typical American man I want both. So I asked them what their long time bar fine cost was and offered them both more if they would come back to my hotel. They wasted no time agreeing to do so. I was going to do my best to wear both of these girls out.

After a night of fun all three of us passed out in exhaustion. The next morning I woke up laying in the middle of a king sized bed. I had two beautiful naked women draped over me and thought to myself ‘Do I really have to go back to the US?’

I woke both of them up and asked if they wanted to get breakfast. While one got up to shower I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to shower as well. All three of us were in the shower together and the fun from last night continued. Finally we were all cleaned up and left for breakfast.

I said goodbye to ‘Speed’ and ‘Durability’ the nicknames they will both forever have in my mind until I draw my last breath. I was glad I didn’t have to choose at the bar because after an evening with both and both having lived up to their new nicknames I still couldn’t pick just one.

The Older Woman Mystery

After I said goodbye I ventured back to my room. The housekeeper who was plenty beautiful in her own right had just gotten done with cleaning my room and changing my sheets. I needed some more rest as the five hours’ sleep I’d just got was not enough after the night of fun I’d just experienced.

That day I took in the sights and chatted up a woman who was having lunch at a nearby restaurant. She was much older than Speed and Durability but still gorgeous and carried herself with class. I asked what she did for work and she changed the subject. I told her I wasn’t there to cast judgment on her for her line of work I just wanted to get to know her better. She changed the subject again and I didn’t want to be so pushy so we carried on some more.

I asked what it would take for her to show me around Bangkok. She explained she was not ready to give out her phone number or Facebook but if I was serious I would meet her the next day at the same time in the same restaurant. I smiled and she paid her bill and left.

I love sushi and for dinner found some of the best sushi I’d ever had. I visited a few beer bars that afternoon and wasn’t pleased with my choice primarily because I had spent the previous evening with two perfect tens. I figured I would return to the same bar as the day before.

As I sat at the bar the younger girl who I first bought lady drinks for the previous day came and sat next to me again. She was so shy compared to the other two but was very sweet and smelled like a succulent flower. After a few drinks I told her that I would still like to take her out and spend some time with her. She agreed to go and I paid a bar fine and we left.

On the way out Speed and Durability spotted me. As I smiled at them holding the new girl’s hand they looked at each other like ‘WTF?’ I could see the jealousy on their faces.

Back to the Beer Bar

Back to the beer bar and I was pleased thinking about how my life in Thailand is going. I must be dreaming. As I walked into the bar the same one I tend to be a creature of habit I was greeted by Speed and Durability. They explained that the new girl told them what my watch was worth and how she only went with me because she was going to ask for it.

I’m thinking a fake gold watch with a blue face and diamond bezel I have become a prime attraction to these girls.

That night Durability spent the evening chatting with another customer as the bar was pretty busy and I was conversing with Speed. After yet again paying the bar fine I was ready to take Speed back to the hotel and see just how well she can run the race by herself again. She lived up to her nickname a young filly that could run in the Kentucky Derby.

The next morning I had set my alarm early so I could shower before meeting Anong. Speed wasn’t enthusiastic about getting up and out so early but I told her I had some Zoom meetings to do on my computer and needed the place to myself. She left.

The Day With Anong

I met with Anong. She was right on time. I asked her where we were going and she suggested we get out of the city to visit a couple of places. I paid for a rental car but asked if she would drive as in the US we drive on the right side of the road. She agreed.

At the first place we went she insisted on paying because I had paid for the rental car. As it turned out we kept taking turns paying everywhere we went. I was thinking ‘Wow a fairly attractive woman who unlike the others is not with me just for money.’ My first mistake since arriving in Thailand.

We spent the entire day and into the evening with each other. She got a phone call. After she hung up she said it was her younger sister who wanted to have a few drinks with us. I thought ‘Okay.’

The girl showed up. She was a solid nine and looked to be about 15 years younger than Anong. The drinks were flowing. I had no idea where we were. I was pleased to know we had returned the rental car.

While Anong was in the bathroom her sister who never told me her name asked if I was willing to go back to her apartment for more drinks. I wasted no time saying yes. As soon as Anong returned we left. A short walk to the apartment later followed by a few beers Anong and her sister were arguing about which one had better physical features.

They asked my opinion and I remember telling them that in order to properly judge the two of them they would both have to undress so I could take another look. They both did. After undressing they began kissing me before I could give my opinion. I was thinking ‘Holy hell thank goodness I didn’t have to declare one of them the loser.’

The Apartment Setup

The new girl and I spent the evening gallivanting around Bangkok at night. We made our way back to the hotel where we fooled around before we went to bed. It wasn’t the passionate intense workout from the night before but much more intimate.

I woke up the next morning as she was getting out of bed to use the bathroom. I looked over her phone screen was on and was on a jeweler’s website. She was looking up how much my watch cost. I pretended not to have seen it but I can imagine what she was thinking when she learned my watch cost over thirty five thousand dollars. She had no idea it was a fake.

We said goodbye and I was then resting in my room checking my emails. I looked down at my computer when I saw the time on the screen. I thought ‘Oh hell I have to be at the restaurant for lunch in 15 minutes.’ I jumped in my shoes and ran downstairs and briskly walked to the restaurant from the day before.

There she was the older woman from yesterday. She told me her name was Anong. We sat and had lunch. She explained she had to get back to work but would be happy to spend the day tomorrow showing me around Bangkok if I was still interested as she would have the day off. She again said she wasn’t willing to give out her information but if I wanted to take her up on her offer to meet here the next morning at nine. I promised her I would be there.

Her unwillingness to give me her contact information or tell me what she did for work was adding a level of mystery that was rather intriguing.