Costly Thai Romance with a 27 Year Age Gap

I got played and almost completely rinsed by a Thai woman in a way that was next level clever. Way smarter than the usual scams and traps I’ve heard about or seen. I barely got out before it turned into a total disaster.

I am in my early 50s right now. I first went to Thailand in my 40s after the divorce from my ex wife.

My ex was a Chinese woman who lived in my country. She was well educated, had a good job, was very family orientated, and by all accounts had her head screwed on.

After 10 years of marriage, we just drifted apart. I don’t think it was either of our faults. We simply fell out of love. Neither of us lost money or property or anything like that.

A Mutual Decision to Start Again

It was about a year after our divorce that I first went to Thailand and jumped straight into the bar scene, starting in Bangkok and finishing in Pattaya.

The first few times I went to Thailand, I loved it and it was amazing. It was what happened on my next trip to Thailand that I never saw coming.

I thought because I had been there a few times and been around the bars and the girls that I knew the scams at least the obvious ones and that I’d be fine.

Returning to Thailand

I went back to Thailand in the middle of last year. I started in Bangkok as I normally do and had a good time.

I spent the first two nights bar hopping around Soi Cowboy, and my God, the prices have gone up so much since my previous trips. In fact, in a couple of the bars on Soi Cowboy, the drinks were more expensive than they are back home.

After a couple of nights on Soi Cowboy, I did a couple of nights on Soi 4, including Nana Plaza.

I ended up meeting a girl in Nana Plaza, bar fined her, and ended up dating her for a couple of days. All was fine. I know the game and knew no feelings should be involved.

After that, I spent a couple more days off the drinks so I could recover. During that time, I was playing around on ThaiFriendly, just having a browse and seeing what’s out there.

Planning the Pattaya Trip

I was going to Pattaya soon, so I started looking at people there. I ended up coming across this 25 year old Thai woman who looked perfect.

Normally, I would wait and let the girls message me first because we all know what they are after, but this girl was way out of my league, so I messaged her straight away.

There was a big age difference, like 27 years or something, so I did not expect a reply from her, but hey, no harm in trying.

Surprisingly, she actually replied to me, and then we were away, planning to meet.

Just for the record, I know the score, and I’m not one of these guys who fall for the first girl they see, so I was honest with her and told her straight.

Telling Her I Would Be in Pattaya

I said that I would be in Pattaya for a bit, that I was just on holiday looking for a good time, I’ve got no wife, not looking for anything serious or long term, and I know it’s going to cost me.

It’s better to keep it straight and simple in my opinion. Some guys give all the sweet lovey dovey talk and try to make the girl fall for them. Not me. I was there for fun only.

For her to spend the days, it was going to cost me 4,000 baht per day, on top of me paying for everything else such as the dates, food, drinks, taxis, etc.

Maybe I overpaid, but like I said, she was well out of my league, so I accepted the deal. I said sure, that’s fine. Then we kept messaging back and forth, nice and easy, figuring out the meet up details.

So after that was set up, my friend and I, both of us from Sweden by the way, travelled up to Pattaya together.

Explaining My Plans to Him

I did let him know that I planned to have a holiday girlfriend type of thing with this girl that I had met on ThaiFriendly, which he was fine with, as he loves to go out alone and be a bit of a player. He’s always got stories to tell when we meet up the following day.

Within an hour of me getting to Pattaya and checking into the hotel, she was already in the lobby waiting for me for our first night out together.

The first night was incredible. We went out for some drinks, then went to eat at one of her friend’s restaurants, and then we went to a bar where some of her friends worked.

I didn’t ask if she worked there also because, to be honest, I did not really care. It was just a holiday thing and that’s it.

But my God, she was stunning, and I felt like the luckiest fool alive being with the girl. I know I’ve said it before that she was out of my league, but she really was. She was easily in my top five Thai girls I’ve met on my travels.

A Self Deprecating First Impression

I wouldn’t say I am super ugly, but there was a huge age difference, so I think everyone, including myself, knew what this deal was.

We spent the night together that night and the following three days also, and every minute with her was great. I wasn’t even interested in going out on my own or with my friend. Being with her made me the happiest at that point.

I was having such a good time with her that after only a few days, I asked if she’d come with me to Hua Hin once I left Pattaya. I was only planning to stay there a week anyway.

She said yes right away, but of course I had to pay for everything, which was completely fine with me and I understood.

Anyway, remember the part where I said I knew the score and I knew what kind of arrangement this was? Well, that kind of went out the window as we spent more time in Hua Hin together.

A Short Visit Becomes Something More

I was only meant to be there for two weeks with her and then fly home, but I ended up cancelling my ticket and extending my trip for an extra two weeks just so I could spend more time with her.

Every single day with her was perfect for me. I never got bored of her, and I don’t think she got bored of me either.

Even when we went to bars and there were other girls and customers about, she would still be touchy and flirty with me even though there was a clear age difference.

She made me feel good, and at that moment in my life, that was something I hadn’t felt in a while.

Her background is that she is a single mum and has three kids. She used to live in the UAE with her ex boyfriend, but it turns out he wasn’t very nice to her, so she left him and flew back to Thailand.

Her Isan Background and Pregnancy

She grew up in Isan, got pregnant at a young age, never went to university, and had nobody looking after her, nor did she have any sponsors.

That is what she told me, but I find that hard to believe because with how she looks, I’m pretty sure she could get any guy she wanted.

She said that when she came back from the UAE, she struggled to make money in Isan, so she went to Pattaya to find work.

These are her words. She said that she went to Pattaya because it had a lot of restaurants she could find work in, a nice beach, and she could make friends easily.

Now, I don’t want to be rude, but come on. We all know the reason she went to Pattaya. I don’t understand why these girls lie. She knew I was there for fun and wouldn’t care if she was a bar girl.

Giving Her the Benefit of the Doubt

But I gave her the benefit of the doubt and just gathered she didn’t really want to tell me the truth because she felt embarrassed or ashamed or something like that.

The rest of her story lined up perfectly, though. She went into so much detail about the job in the UAE, like exactly what they made, how the shifts worked, little stories about the people she worked with.

It sounded like someone who’d actually been there grinding it out every day. But yeah, more on that part later.

Before I left her, I did give her the money we agreed on, which in total came to about 80,000 baht. I think it should have been more than that, but this is the number she asked for.

On top of that, I paid for everything: hotels, trips, food, clothes, shopping, pretty much everything. I don’t think she ever spent a single baht.

The Cost of Supporting Her

This might sound like a lot of money, but I got what I wanted and so did she. I enjoyed every day with her and had an amazing time, by far the best girl I had met in Thailand by then, and probably the best time I’d had in Thailand also.

The problem was, after I had given her the money and we left each other at the airport, she sent me a barrage of messages telling me how much she loves me, how she had enjoyed our time together, and that she didn’t want me to leave.

She told me that she knew I wasn’t looking for something serious or a girlfriend, but she had fallen completely in love with me and didn’t know what to do.

Bearing in mind, she was saying all of this before I had even stepped foot on the plane to leave. I guess all that money made something click in her head.

Once I got back home, we did message each other a few times. It wasn’t all day every day like some couple, but it was more than I’d normally text other girls.

Where I Slipped Up

I guess this is where I slipped up and let feelings creep in because after a month or so of being home, I started to miss her and think about her more than I should have.

I admitted to her that I liked her and was missing her. Of course, she said it back to me and was telling me to come back so we could be together again.

And that was the plan. I was going to go out again in the near future to spend another holiday with her, but life happens and I ended up needing surgery on my knee.

This was a blessing in disguise for her, really, because during recovery I was just at home resting, so it gave her the perfect chance to really work on me. And because I didn’t really have anyone around me either, she was the only person I’d talk to.

One night she asked me if I actually loved her and meant everything I said to her, and you know what, I think a part of me did fall in love with her at the time, so I said yes.

Seeing the Relationship Differently

The more we talked, I could see that she was getting really into this. She was practically planning out a future with me and wanted to come and live here in Sweden.

Although it was mainly her talking about a future together, I would be lying if I didn’t say a little bit was me as well, encouraging her and telling her how much I liked her ideas.

I did also send her money just to help out. She never straight up asked, but she did hint at it, saying she needed to pay rent and things like that. So I would give her 5,000 baht a week, not a big amount but enough to help her a little.

Anyway, about seven or eight months after my first holiday with her, I was back on that plane to Thailand because I really wanted to see her again and understand what I’m actually feeling.

Half of me wanted to just have fun, but the other half of me felt like there was something there between us. Obviously, the age difference didn’t help with the negative feelings.

What Held Me Back

I think that was the biggest thing holding me back. It was a huge difference, and I don’t think anyone would agree with it. To be honest, I don’t even know if I’d agree with it myself.

When she came to pick me up at the airport, she ran and gave me a hug and kiss in front of everyone, and it felt so good to have her in my arms again.

We went back to Hua Hin to the hotel we stayed at before and even requested the same room that we had last time.

This trip wasn’t all about fun and bars. It was actually romantic, and again I had a great time. If I wasn’t sure before, I was 100% sure now. I had completely fallen for her.

She even told me that she wanted to get married to me so it would be easier for her to come to my country.

The Detail That Changed Everything

Now the part that you have probably been waiting for, the part where everything went wrong like they normally do in stories about farangs falling for a Thai girl.

One night while I was there and we had just got back to the hotel from a fancy restaurant, she went in the shower and left her phone out.

The devil on my shoulder told me to have a quick look. I’m glad I did, but I probably shouldn’t have.

I saw that she had ThaiFriendly recently open, so clearly she still had an account on there. I was led to believe that we were pretty much a couple now and she wouldn’t be using dating apps.

I looked at her messages on there and yes, it was full of guys that she had recently been chatting with. She had even been talking to a guy earlier while we were at the restaurant.

Messages on Her LINE Account

On her LINE account, there were a couple of guys that she had been texting, and they had been sending money to her, which I found weird because she had never asked me directly for help.

I closed the phone and put it back, my mind racing on what I should do next. I did not want her to think I had been shady or gone through her phone, so I decided not to say anything and just act like everything was normal.

I thought I could figure out what to do next once I got home. I didn’t want to bring it up there and then and ruin everything, but now I was unsure about everything.

A couple of nights later, we were back out at a restaurant just having drinks and food. I noticed she would be on her phone a lot more, and obviously that sent my mind racing.

I asked for the bill before even asking if my girl was ready to leave. She could see that I was angry and not in the mood. She kept asking what was wrong. I just said that her phone looked like better company than me.

Returning to the Hotel

Once we got back to the hotel, I just asked her if there was anything or anyone else I should know about, to which she kept saying I was the only guy in her life at the moment.

I confronted her and told her that I saw her on the dating app and knew she had been talking to other guys while out with me, including asking them for money.

She of course denied it, but I told her I saw the messages and even told her the guys’ names.

It just ruined everything for me. I couldn’t act like it didn’t happen and just ignore it. I told her I wanted to end it when I got back home.

I told her she could leave now if she wanted, but she absolutely blew up. Huge drama, crying and screaming at me like I was the one in the wrong.

Both Sides Made Mistakes

I guess we were both in the wrong really. She should have been honest and I shouldn’t have looked at her phone, so I’m partly to blame.

Anyway, while she was crying and going mad at me, she tried to explain herself. She gave me the excuse that she did not think I would come back to her because farangs normally always say they are going to come back and never do.

She said she was keeping her options open because she was scared, but that I was the only guy she wanted and that’s why she never directly asked me for money and only asked them for money because she didn’t have any feelings towards them.

She swore that she would cut off all the other guys she was talking to and delete all her dating apps if we were officially together as a couple.

I know what you are thinking. I walked away from it all, didn’t I? Didn’t fall for her words and move on to enjoy myself?

Believing Her Story

Not even close. I bought every word she said to me. All that sweet talking, all the talking about the future, all the talk about her wanting just to be with me. I believed it all.

I was sucked right in, and she convinced me that this relationship was the right step to take and we could be happy together.

So I stayed with her. We even started talking about marriage more, looking at visas for Sweden, the requirements and what papers were needed.

I even paid for her to start having Swedish lessons online. Speaking Swedish is not a requirement for the visa, but it sure is a big help both with the process and life there, even though most of us can speak English.

We agreed that when I got home, I would still send her weekly support and money for emergencies if she needed it, and she said she would be faithful and not lie to me again.

Returning to Pattaya

So that’s what I did. A couple of months of being home, I was supporting her, making plans with her, and by all accounts everything was good from both sides.

The problem now was with me. I just had this bad feeling in my gut. I couldn’t quite get rid of the fact that she lied to me before about what she was doing while I wasn’t there. Who’s to say she isn’t still doing it?

So one night, my thoughts got the better of me and I decided to download the dating app again. I used my friend’s pictures with his permission, created a profile, and set my location to Pattaya.

I just wanted to test and hope that my gut feelings were wrong, but of course all the bad feelings came true when it took me less than an hour to see her still on the app and online.

I messaged her from the account. She was saying stuff like she is single, had only been in Pattaya a couple of weeks, didn’t work in a bar, all the crap she had said to me when we first met really.

Planning Another Meeting

It wasn’t long before she was arranging to meet up. She was all ready to come to the hotel that she thought this account was at until I cancelled the meeting and said something had come up.

She got really angry and told me that if I was playing around not to message her because she was looking for something long term and not here to play.

So yeah, my gut feeling was right. Everything and anything she had told me had been a complete lie, and obviously she wasn’t serious about any of the plans we had been talking about.

The next time we video called, I asked her straight, were you serious about our future plans? Do you really want a relationship with me? Are you still working in Pattaya and are you on dating apps?

She denied it all, even got pretty mad at me for not trusting her, telling me that if I want this to work then I should be able to trust her with what she says.

Showing Her the Evidence

That tone quickly changed when I showed her the screenshots of her account and the messages she had been having with the profile I created.

At first she denied it, but after I showed her the screenshot, there wasn’t really much she could do other than admit it to me.

She did try to downplay it by saying it wasn’t serious and that she just needed extra money for something, but that was all BS because she knows she could have asked me if that was the case.

She didn’t need extra money. She just wanted more money, which I can understand, but she should have told me and not told other men that she was looking for something serious.

I knew damn well I should’ve walked away right then, but I stayed.

Asking Her to Tell the Truth

I told her to come clean about everything or I would not be supporting her anymore and I’d just block her, say goodbye to all of our plans.

She did come clean, well I think she did anyway. She told me that there is a man in her condo building that she sees on a regular basis and a couple of other regulars, but apart from that she is not hiding anything from me.

I obviously did not believe her. I think anyone would see she is not telling me the full truth. There are bound to be a lot more men that she isn’t telling me about.

What an absolute humiliation. I should’ve dumped her right there and then, but I didn’t. By that point I think she knew she could walk all over me and I’d still stick around.

Not sure if I already said this, but at this point I was giving her 20,000 baht per month, plus covering the cost of her condo and other extras that she might need. That just adds insult to injury.

Booking My Flight Home

I had already booked a flight back to see her and we said we were going to try and fix things, but as soon as I landed in Bangkok and checked into my hotel, I just thought to myself, what the hell am I doing?

I was meant to meet her the next day, but that night I just told myself I can’t do this. I am being taken for a mug, and I’m the one allowing this to happen.

I texted her the next day and just told her it was over. I couldn’t do this anymore. All the lies and the secrets were just too much for me to forget that they happened.

I stayed in Bangkok for a few days on my own, trying to enjoy myself, but I just wasn’t in the mood. No matter which bar I went into, I just felt bored and couldn’t get in a good mood.

After a lot of begging from her, I decided to get a taxi to Pattaya to see her. I figured the least we could do was talk face to face and get everything out in the open.

Going Out in Pattaya

I got to Pattaya and we went out to a restaurant and had some drinks. The atmosphere was obviously bad and it wasn’t at all like it was on the previous trips with her.

She ended up begging me to give her another chance and saying sorry that she ever did any of that and that she hadn’t spoken to anyone after I caught her.

After that, we went back to the hotel and I told her if she wanted to prove herself, let me look at her phone.

She was reluctant, but as I said that I was not going to be angry or leave, she finally allowed me to look.

At first it looked all good. I couldn’t find the dating apps, but she was sneaky. She had put them together in a folder with other apps. Her face dropped when I saw them.

Stopping Contact with Other Women

This time, I didn’t even open any of them or read any messages. I had already seen enough.

That was it for me, and I think she knew that I finally meant it this time. I told her that after this trip, we were done. I wouldn’t be coming back to her.

I am not a cold hearted person, and I kind of knew what I was getting myself into, so I couldn’t really blame her, and I understood it in a way. It was her job after all.

I didn’t hate her. I was just angry, I guess. I didn’t want to leave her empty handed, so right before I left, I gave her 20,000 baht, a bit of money to help her get started on her own. So we finally called it quits, even though I think she was still hoping for something.

We said our goodbyes and I went back home. I did not expect to hear from her again, but once home she would randomly call me when she was drunk, and it would do my head in, so eventually I ended up blocking her.

Waiting for the Next Development

A couple of months went by and I got a friend request from her on Facebook. That’s when I saw her real Facebook profile for the first time.

I am not sure if she added me to rub it in my face or she simply forgot what she had on there, but her profile was very revealing.

Her profile was full of different guys while she was in the UAE. She was always trying to show off pictures with money and would have captions like “My customers treat me good.”

So yeah, her whole story about her past was completely made up. She even had screenshots on her profile of guys sending her money.

I was pretty much over the feelings side of things by then, so when I saw it all, I just had a little giggle to myself that I allowed her to play me like that. I wasn’t hurt, but I was embarrassed in a funny way.

Leaving the Door Open

I didn’t even block her because I wasn’t that bothered anymore. She would send me random messages now and again, but I’d reply with a one word answer or something. We never really got into a big conversation again.

The last time we actually spoke, she told me that she doesn’t go with customers anymore and that she got a job in a bar in Pattaya where she works for just lady drinks.

Whether that’s true or not, I don’t really care.

It seemed like she was doing okay for herself and I wished her good luck, but that seemed to get her irritated with me for some reason and she ended up blocking me on everything. That’s probably for the best. It takes away the option to message her.

We always hear about men getting played out in Thailand, and I was one of those men who thought I was too clever to catch any type of feelings for these ladies.

Writing Down the Warning Signs

Just writing it all down makes it obvious how silly I was being. Everything was right there in front of me the whole time.

It could have been a lot worse. What if we did get married and I did end up bringing her to my country? It would have probably financially ruined me and left me broke.

Without a shadow of a doubt, if I had brought her here, she would have left me for someone else once the visa had been accepted. I’m certain of that.

But I wanted to tell you this story for a specific reason. She never made any of the normal, obvious mistakes. There was no “sick buffalo,” no broken motorbike, no brother in trouble. None of that usual nonsense you hear about.

By all accounts, she made it seem that she was a normal girl who was genuinely searching for a better life and a good relationship.

The Good Girl Story Falls Apart

She built up her whole “good girl” past with a crazy amount of detail. She was smart about filtering me on Facebook. She never once tripped over her own lies.

If I hadn’t made that fake profile and checked ThaiFriendly one last time, I’d probably be married to her right now. And I’d be in some serious trouble, losing money left and right.

I did lose a bit of money on her, money that could have gone to something a lot better, but it didn’t financially ruin me like some guys you hear about.

The real damage was to my feelings. That got pretty banged up. But I’ll get past it.