Another Farang Statistic? Regretful Marriage

I found your channel while I was searching for some advice and answers about my farang – thai marriage.

Just wish I had found a channel like this the first time I arrived in Thailand.

It’s very interesting listening to all these stories and especially the comments sharing raw advice to the guys in the stories.

Hopefully I can get your viewers advice on my story as well, if you post.

Feel free to post my story but if you can please change the names or remove the names from the story.

Thanks!

So, let’s get into my story.

How I Met My Future Thai Wife

I work on a boat for a living, and im out at sea most of the year, this meant that I would visit a lot of random countries, some good, but also some bad.

Working on this boat is the reason I ended up in Thailand, at the time, it wasn’t my choice of country I would have visited, it never even crossed my mind to visit Thailand really.

Turns out, it would become my favourite country that I have ever visited.

I quickly fell in love with the place, especially the food and how the people treat you there.

I wasn’t huge on the night life scene but I did have a dabble now and again, it’s changed a lot since then.

I also met a nice Thai lady on my first trip, we pretty much hit it off instantly and it wasn’t long until we was in a relationship.

I won’t bore you guys with the dates and stuff, just know that it was perfect at the start.

Getting A Thai Girl Pregnant On My First Trip

Things went pretty fast, maybe too fast between us, and she fell pregnant really early in our relationship.

Because of her pregnancy, we decided to get married and that happened 9 years ago, and we’ve been married ever since.

During our marriage we have also welcomed 3 more beautiful children into our life.

The hardest part up until now has been me working away for 7 to 10 months of the year, though not all at the same time.

I have been going back and forth to Thailand every chance I get.

My wife doesn’t want to move to my country and up until now, that was fine with me as im away a lot it would be pointless, though I would have liked my children to grow up here.

Spending around 2-5 months per year in Thailand with my wife seemed to be fine for us both anyway.

Now before I go into the next part of my story, I think I need to make a few things clear with the listeners.

When I met my wife, even after we got married, I did not know much about how some thai women work, especially bars girls.

My wife wasn’t a bar girl by the way.

And I hadn’t done any research or heard any stories like the ones you share. I really wish I did because I think I would have planned by future a bit different.

After 9 years of marriage, I think the penny is finally dropping, and the more I hear about farang – thai relationships, I can’t help but feel like this maybe happening to me.

Back to my story.

For the first part of the marriage, around 5 or 6 years, it was going fine, we both seemed happy with the arrangement and there was rarely any disagreements.

I think being away from each other for long periods of time kept the spark going and made us miss each other, so it was always a nice feeling when I’d be able to visit again.

Sending My Thai Wife Money Every Month

I send my wife around 3,000 dollars a month, remember im not a random farang sending a bar girl money, im a farang that’s married to a wife and has kids with her.

Im not rich by any means but I save a lot of money due to my work and being away all the time, I don’t need to pay rent, food, gas etc.

So I think 3,000 is an ok amount. Though I do have to work more than I’d actually like to to keep it at that amount

My wife claims this goes on bills, help with the kids, food and all the nessarities.

However for the last couple of years, towards the end of every month, she will say that she has spent up and needs more money for one thing or another, mainly the excuses has something to do with my kids.

I really do not think she is being honest with me when it comes to money.

I know it’s expensive raising kids, but in Thailand, 3,000 – 3,500 dollars a month should be enough.

My Wife Keeps Asking Me For More Money

I always give extra when she asks as I don’t want to second guess her and then my kids go without something they need.

They don’t live in a big villa with a pool or anything fancy like that, just a standard thai house with a couple of bedrooms.

If all the money demands wasn’t there, I would be able to be away at sea less and at home with my wife and kids more, but it seems I don’t have much say on any of the decision making.

In fact, whenever I do try something new or do things my way, it’s normally always wrong in her eyes and im in the dog house, even if it goes well she will pick fault with something.

She gets really stressed out at me for no reason, she is not the same person I first met.

I Would Love To Be Able To Live In Thailand With My Children

I would love to find a different job so I can be at home every night with my wife and kids, but obviously I can’t work in Thailand, and she does not want to move to my country.

Things would be totally if we moved to my country, better life for my kids and basically just an easier way of life.

Im from Canada by the way.

I haven’t looked too much into visas for foreign wives in Canada, but from what little info I have read, it doesn’t seem as hard as other countries. So she could easily come and find a decent job to earn the money that she keeps complaining about.

I have tried to explain to her over the years on how the kids life would be so much better and easier if we made the move to Canada, but she just does not want to listen.

I guess I can rule out that she did not marry me for a visa.

Another issue is that she lives in some type of dreamland, every month she is coming up with new business ventures she wants to do.

Last month she wants to open a laundramat, this month a hair salon, and next month probably a shoe store, I just don’t know.

And guess who would be funding these ideas? That’s right, me.

She Wants Me To Buy Land and A Bar In Pattaya

However, I think she knows that although she gets as much as she can out of me, she knows I won’t be investing in anything.

One time she wanted us to open a bar in Pattaya, I quickly made it very clear I would not be buying a bar in Pattaya, or any property in someone else’s name.

There was some land for sale near her parents house in Isan that she wanted me to buy.

This actually was a good idea at the time, as the kids would be near their family if they ever needed help.

Although I wasn’t clued up about Thailand laws, I made sure to do my research, and I learnt that the land wouldn’t be in my name, or only a small percentage of it will be in my name, I can’t remember the exact law as it was a while ago this happened.

Anyway, once I learnt that, It was a clear no from me about buying the land.

We have had a good marriage considering all that, of course we have had our ups and downs, but always managed to come out on top, I just feel like she doesn’t respect me anymore.

She is just not the same person I first met.

Now, I know marriages go through a honey moon period where everything is perfect and the reality kicks in.

No relationship is perfect, we all have our flaws, ups and down, but this woman I married is really turning into someone I can’t stand to be around.

She’s constantly angry at me, talking down to me, and one wording text replies when im away.

She knows im alone on the ship with no family or friends around, she knows I miss my kids completely, sometimes I feel like she does this on purpose.

And when she does want to talk and contacts me first, it’s normally to do with money, which will again lead to more arguments.

I did really love my wife, but slowly falling out of love with her, and I really don’t trust her when it comes to money.

Is My Thai Wife Just Using Me For Money?

It seems with the way she treats me, she has already fallen out of love with me and is just holding on for the money.

When we first got together, she did ask me for money because her family was in need.  later when we got serious, she admitted that this was a lie and that she was sorry.

I forgave her and considered it a one time thing because we wasn’t in a relationship properly and she was the one that admitted it to me, if she never told me about it I would never had known.

I don’t know. I feel like im kind of trapped on what to do.

Sometimes I feel like just saying “right I want a divorce” we break up and both move on with our lives, but that’s easier said than done when kids are involved.

And im not one of them part time dead beat dads, I love my kids with all my heart and the thought of never seeing them again hurts.

I know if we got a divorce she would get the kids and probably use them as a weapon against me.

Using My Kids As A Weapon To Get What She Wants

In fact, during a couple of arguments she’s done just that, said something along the lines of “You’ll never see your kids again”.

Im not sure about Thailand, but in Canada, the mother gets the kids almost 100% of the time after a divorce.

I wouldn’t like to spend my time going to Thailand and staying in hotels and fighting to see my kids, having to obey to her every demand.

And if you did not know, Thai’s stick together, she could turn her whole family on me with a click of her fingers.

I wish she was a reasonable woman, where we could break up and have a good arrangement of when I can have the kids. I’d still be willing to support her financially if im allowed to still see my kids.

Listening to other stories and reading online, I feel like it’s literally me in the story, stunned and don’t really know what to do.

Thai Culture Vs Western Culture

I know Thai culture is different, and I do really respect it, ive done everything I can to help her and keep her happy but she has just turned into a money hungry woman.

Im not young, in my early 50’s and I have some bad characteristics like everyone else does, im not perfect and im not a saint by any means, but I don’t think I could treat someone the way that she has been treating me for the last hour or so.

I think ive already mentioned that she wasn’t a bar girl, and hasn’t done any entertainment work.. well, as far as I know. But she did grow up poor, so maybe that is why she is this way with money, I don’t know.

I have never even been allowed to take my kids to my country to visit their other half of the family, I want them to meet everyone.

I Just Want To Be With My Kids Now

If it was up to me, I would bring my kids to live with me full time.

Im sorry ive been rambling on here, Im just trying to figure out how I got myself into this position, and still im none the wiser on what im going to do.

Im pretty sure we have to break up, I can’t go on living like this.

I guess my next step in my situation is contacting a lawyer both in my country and in Thailand, to see if there is anyway I can get custody of the children, though im very doubtful.

I would even settle for 6 months in Canada, and 6 months in Thailand with their mom.

All that being said, I don’t have anyone else to blame than myself.

We got in a relationship pretty quick and she got pregnant pretty quick also, and we all know it takes 2 to tango.

Maybe if she didn’t get pregnant, our relationship would never of taken off, who knows.

No Regrets… Kind Of

Though I don’t regret it, because I love my kids with all my heart, they are the best thing to happen to me, I just wish things turned out a little different between me and their mom.

Im sure im not the first person to marry a disrespectful, money hungry, life destroying woman.

Anyway, thanks for reading the story, and to anyone that might be listening to my story, I will be reading the comments and I look forward to any advice given.