How to Make Friends and Avoid Loneliness in Thailand

One of the biggest questions I get asked here by guys who want to move out here is: “How do you meet friends? How do you meet people in Thailand? I’m not a drinker.” Not me personally them. “I don’t drink alcohol. How do you meet friends here?”

I do know guys plenty of guys who come out here with big expectations that they’re going to live their life in the sun. And unfortunately, after the first sort of 3 to 6 months, the veneer kind of comes off. All those party nights and the girls and all the rest of it you know, these are the drinkers. But even guys who come out here who don’t drink it’s even more of a problem for them because it is very hard to meet friends if you don’t know how to go about it.

You Are Not Alone

First of all, on this subject of meeting people you come to Thailand, how do you go about it? The first thing I want to tell you is you’re not alone. When you come out here, a lot of people feel a bit lonely. Even myself sometimes I’ll be honest with you, I’ll really put my hand on my heart and be completely honest with you.

I was with my Korean wife I’m separated now, divorced. I was with her for 33 years. My kids are now 24 and 27. I was always used to having somebody around me. Even when my kids were in their rooms playing on games or their PCs whatever they were doing my wife would be watching her Korean TV dramas. I could always hear something in the background. There was always somebody flushing the toilet or running up the stairs.

Then when you’re suddenly thrust into a situation where you’ve left all your friends behind in your own country, and you’re now in your apartment on your own two rooms, it’s a Sunday afternoon, it’s very, very hot, I’m not going anywhere, I’ve got nothing to do a lot of the guys who I know have gone back to the States or back to Europe. It can get a little bit lonely. I’ll be honest with you it can do.

But what’s kind of saved me from it is having a YouTube channel, because guys contact me and they want to have lunch or have a few beers, and I’ve built up a nice community of friends now because of this. Some guys have become good friends. Other guys I meet them once and never see them again.

How to Meet People Without Drinking

You’re not alone. So I’m going to go through everywhere where you can meet people. Let’s look at the scenario. You’ve sold your house. You’ve brought your cash over here. You’ve got your apartment, wherever it is, in whichever city it is. Obviously, if you live very rural, then it’s a lot more difficult. You’ve got to be near some foreigners if you want to meet friends and Thai people as well. I’ll talk about meeting Thai people as friends too.

1. Join a Gym or Sports Activity

One of the best ways to meet people is any kind of clubs. You could join a gym or a sports activity. This is for guys who come out here and they’re non drinkers they don’t want to go to bars and they want to meet people. Fitness centers, swimming pools, or even just the outdoor areas.

The great thing about the parks here is that they have free equipment that you can use cardio equipment. You get some girls there, some Thais, and a lot of foreigners use these. There are parks all over, especially in Bangkok. Any kind of club a gym, a swimming club these communal workout areas in the park if you go there regularly, you’re going to become a familiar face, and you’re going to start talking to people naturally. People will speak to you, and friendships can come out of that.

2. Golf Huge in Thailand

Golf is huge in Thailand. It doesn’t matter if you’re not very good at playing golf there are always people looking to make up the numbers. If you are a golfer and you come out here, especially towns like Hua Hin and Pattaya, they’re very big golf towns. They have some fantastic golf courses. That’s a great way to meet people.

3. Expat Clubs and Hobby Groups

Most cities have groups that meet for breakfast, lunch, or coffee. These are focused on socializing and not drinking. It’s all online as well. There are a lot of hobby groups, especially in major towns here in Thailand photography, motorbikes, cycling, fishing, chess. They have all these groups here.

One of the best ways to find them is on social media. When you’re here, get onto Facebook and search for I don’t know “chess club” or “cycling clubs.” Cycling is big here in the parks in Bangkok. You go onto those groups and you can write to the person who runs it and say you’d like to come along on a ride or a run, and they’re open they’re not stuck up. They’re not going to say no.

4. Beach Town Activities

If you’re somewhere like Jomtien, which is very, very nice, you’ve got paddle boarding, diving, sailing, water sports. That all brings people together. Any kind of club if you join a diving club, you’re going to meet some great guys, aren’t you? It’s a good way to meet people.

5. Voluntary Groups and Charities

Another good way to meet people, if you’re at a loose end and you shouldn’t be working here if you’re on a retirement visa, by the way voluntary groups are very, very good. They have some good charities and voluntary groups out here. For instance, rescue dogs there are a couple in Pattaya, they have them in Bangkok. There’s always something to get involved in.

I know there’s a charity not far from here that makes 20 kilos of rice and vegetables and gives it out to poor people. They’re always looking for people to assist.

6. Mixing with Thai People

You might think, “Oh, that’s going to be a bit hard. I don’t speak Thai.” Actually, it’s easier than you think. If you do make the effort to speak a little bit of Thai you don’t need to be fluent even if you can just greet somebody in Thai, say hello, thank you, thank you for having me here it’s actually quite easy.

The way you meet Thai people there are a lot of festivals in Thailand. There are a lot of things that go on at the temples, and a lot of the time the public are welcome to come along and get involved. A typical example was about a year ago at Wat Arun on the Chao Phraya River they had a big volunteer cleaning day. Several hundred people went along there, got their mops and buckets out, and there were a lot of younger foreigners there. Great to see.

7. Language Schools

You might want to learn Thai, and you might go to a language school. If you go once or twice a week to a language school, and there are other foreigners there other nationalities they’re doing the same as you, having lessons twice a week. It’s only common sense you’re going to be seeing the same people once or twice a week for a long time. There are going to be people in that group that become friends, and you can say, “Hey, let’s grab a meal after this.” So language schools are a good way.

8. Coffee Shops and Coworking Spaces

I’m not talking about just Starbucks. There are a lot of independent coffee shops that have sprung up now. They have guys who will go in there with their laptops and spend a few hours. They have work spaces for people to come in drink coffee or tea, herbal tea, whatever you fancy and they’ll have an area set aside for you to work, a communal area. You go and take your laptop in there and do whatever you’ve got to do for a couple of hours every day. When you find the right one, you’ll meet people. It’s a great way to meet people some people have become great friends.

9. Cooking Classes

Cooking classes are another fun way to learn about Thai food while chatting with people in a relaxed environment. Learning to cook Thai food is actually a lot of fun. I learned to cook some Thai food not very much I didn’t stick at it very long because I don’t have a lot of time because of YouTube. But I did do a little bit, and it is fun, and you do meet the same people.

10. Yoga and Muay Thai Classes

Yoga classes or Thai boxing classes again, these are something you would do every week, and it’s a good way to meet people and Thai people as well.

An Unexpected Benefit of Meeting Decent Thai Women

Now, I know I’m going a little bit off subject, but I’ll come back to what we’re talking about today. Another benefit of doing these kind of activities a lot of these clubs and get togethers will have decent Thai women who go to them. Maybe some of the Thai women have had foreign boyfriends in the past who have gone back to their own country, and they speak a good level of English.

There are a lot of good, respectable Thai women here, and they’re open to relationships with foreigners as well. So this is another benefit of these clubs.

Mindset Matters You Have to Make the Effort

Don’t sit at home and wait for friends to appear because they’re not going to appear. You need to be the one to say hello first. You need to make the effort. You might wake up, have a cup of coffee and some toast, and think, “You know what? I can’t be bothered.” And you sink into this kind of semi depression. That’s when you should get yourself in that shower, put some clothes on, get out there, and just have a walk around the mall go and drink a coffee see if you can meet some people.

People are much more approachable here in Thailand. I don’t know why if I’m in the UK, it’s very difficult to meet new friends because people are not open. They’re a little bit closed. But here in Thailand, we’re all in the same kind of boat. We’re expats living out here, and people are more susceptible to saying hello and making friends.

Build a Network Without Expecting One Best Friend

Not one best friend. Some people will become close, others just acquaintances, and that’s fine. Over time, you’ll find your circle. The good news is once you build up one or two, maybe three friends, they’ll start introducing you to other people, and your circle of friends will eventually grow.

Prepare Yourself for the Emotional Rollercoaster

If you haven’t been here before, you need to prepare yourself. If you’re coming out here as an expat, the first 3 to 6 months will be amazing. Long term it’s amazing as well you’ve got great weather, great food, the people are nice, you can travel, it’s cheap. But it’s that first 3 to 6 months you’ve been coming out here for holiday vacation for a couple of weeks, and it’s all glitzy when you come out here again. It’s all new to you. You’ve got your apartment, you have to go to the various malls and buy your big screen TV and all your bits and pieces. And then eventually you settle down, and depression and loneliness can be a problem for some people out here in Thailand. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and it’s something you really need to think about before you come out here.

As always, I’m not trying to make a scare tactics video something to make you think, “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t go to Thailand.” As I said, it’s a great place. I’ve been out here for 3 years now. It’s been fantastic. I’ve had my ups and downs. There have been times when I’ve woken up and I didn’t want to get out of bed because I just felt nothing. There have been times when I’ve been sat on my sofa at 6:00 in the evening I’m not a bars person anymore now where I’ve just felt down. But that’s human nature. That’s everybody, isn’t it?

Final Thoughts

If you are coming to Thailand, don’t worry. It is all good. There’s just certain things you need to take into account before you arrive here.