Singer and the Spontaneous Kanchanaburi Weekend
I was staying on Khao San Road in Bangkok for a couple of days before going up to Kanchanaburi, the Bridge on the River Kwai. I kind of like the backpacking district of Banglamphu. It was not a case of saving money; the whole area was electric, and you feel so alive.
I had only 3 days left, so I wanted to cram in as much as I could. My routine was to drink cold beer during the day before popping into a massage parlor in the late afternoon before dinner. A half-hour oil massage was 350 baht.
The massage lady was not that pretty, and judging her age to be in her mid-to-late 40s it was obvious it was not her first rodeo. After a few minutes and some teasing, she suggested a fuller service if you know what I mean. This is quite uncommon in this area, but it was in a private room and no other customers. I kind of anticipated this and had some loose notes in my pocket. I grabbed my shorts and offered her 400 baht and explained that’s all the money I had left.
After several bouts of tutting and sighing, she got to work and all was good in the world. I felt great and had a skip in my step.
After showering and changing clothes, I went to dinner on my own and had some street food. After many beers and some bar hopping, it was getting late, around 1:00 a.m. The place was starting to slow down, but I found a live band that was quite good the old favorites, Khao San Road classics. Thankfully, we were spared from the usual “Hotel California” that you normally hear 10 times a night. It went on to around 3:00 a.m., and I was still buzzing.
The Midnight Invitation on Khao San Road
Walking back to my guesthouse, some massage girls from an upmarket massage beauty parlor called me over to sit with them and chat on those tiny red plastic chairs outside in the road. The massage parlor was one of those communal bed ones in open view from the street and was geared up to the young backpackers mainly women having their toenails painted or whatever they wanted to do. It was closed and the lights were out, but the Thais seemed to run on Duracell batteries 24/7.
The manager wore a smart suit and spoke perfect English. The other girls wore a generic massage uniform. They appeared to always be grazing on nuts and snacks sold by street vendors.
As soon as I sat down, they asked me if I would like a drink. As it was so late, I suggested it was impossible but they quickly pointed to the 7-Eleven store. Of course, I was going to pay but with cheap prices. I took a shopping list from all of the girls. Most had those small bottles of white wine, and a few wanted beers. Two girls came with me to carry all the shopping.
It looked like no alcohol was allowed to be sold at that time in the morning, but if you know the right people, it was okay. On my way out, I accidentally kicked over a beggar’s can, and change coins went flying, and most went into the darkness. Naturally, farang must pay so I was told 100 baht was needed to compensate his loss.
We drank several rounds, and the light of the morning was approaching. We talked about the shop, and I asked if any customers asked for more than just a massage. The manager explained some South Korean tourists insist, and there was a special room in the back. She pointed to a young Korean boy sitting across the road and said something in Thai. He burst out laughing and punched the air.
I talked about my plans about going to Kanchanaburi in the morning, and it was a Friday night. They all asked if they could come with me. I took this as a joke and said, “Yes, of course anyone is welcome,” and got back a belly aching laughing session.
The Kanchanaburi Invitation
The manager pulled me aside and said, “Seriously, I will go with you.” I still thought she was joking and explained my girlfriend back home would not be pleased. But 12 hours of solid drinking had taken its toll on my senses. I said, “Yeah, all right.” I still thought she would never really drop everything and drive 130 km away just like that.
She basically called my bluff. It was like a military operation. A Grab taxi magically arrived 30 minutes later, and I was whisked off to collect my belongings while she went back into the shop and got changed into her normal clothes.
The sun was fully up now, and as the air-conditioned taxi was weaving its way through the morning rush hour and across the Pinklao Bridge, I asked, feeling stupid, “I don’t even know your name.” It was a name I had asked several times, but I kept forgetting it was a difficult name. So we agreed to abbreviate it to “Singer.”
I know it’s not very dignified to be called after a beer, but she thought it funny.
As I was sobering up, she explained that I had agreed to pay for the accommodation, drinks, and food as Kanchanaburi was not an expensive destination. I reluctantly nodded, completely guilt-ridden. I said, “No aerobics. Absolutely no aerobics. Separate beds and no touching.” I had a girlfriend back home, and I had to look her in the face on my return. After all, I went with the excuse of going to Thailand to jungle trek and relax with a good book, drinking herbal tea.
Arriving at a rather expensive floating guesthouse on the river that she picked out, we got into our twin room. As I started unpacking, she went straight into the shower and promptly exited stark naked.
The Floating Guesthouse
Male chemistry took over. Within two minutes of getting into the room, she had made a move while I was standing up in absolute shock, watching long-tail boats speed past with screaming Thai day trippers from the open balcony. I could not move and was under her spell.
I vaguely heard a cheer as the last boat hurtled past me, creating a large bow wave, rocking the floating pontoons and sending me into quivers. I thought, “No aerobics!” and she just shrugged and got dressed.
That night we had a fantastic dinner overlooking the Kwai River while the sun was setting. Her appetite like all Thais is bottomless. She consumed incredible amounts of food and was not shy in ordering exactly what she wanted.
After a few beers watching the last red sky turn into darkness, we headed into town. We talked about her past she had a French boyfriend and a grown-up daughter. She said she is 51 but looks much younger as they always do. She was very shrewd and streetwise, but I did not feel I was taken for a ride at this point.
We went into the Aussie Rules bar, and all the jaded expats were comparing their latest hard luck stories and doomed private prison monologues while we knocked back several large Leos. She suggested we visit her friend’s bar. The place was a bar girl up joint, but I felt strangely superior to the other customers haggling for short time.
Everyone seemed to know her. She brought drinks for the bar girls. To my horror, she got up and walked over to the bar bell. If this bell is ringing, the whole bar gets a free drink at my expense. It was like slow motion as she reached up and tugged that bell like the bar was on fire.
The Bar Bell and Bangkok Nightlife
“No!” I cried while freeloader tourists rushed from all directions, dived into the bar area, and demanded their drinks. “What have you done?”
She sat me down and said, “Relax I’m paying.”
We later staggered out and got into a tuk tuk and were racing across town to the Thai party street along the river, past the Japanese Road Bridge. She stood up and leaned out of the tuk tuk with her hands in the air her black hair was fluttering in the wind, her blouse was riding up.
We went into this huge hangar-type nightclub full of young weekend Thais with all their beer fountains and side dishes of unknown snacks. The live band was in Thai, but I really enjoyed it. Somehow, she managed to bag a table right below the stage. The band was very well known, and the lead singer with her blue hair really pumped it out.
This was my second day of constant drinking, but for some reason I was not getting drunk.
On the way back, she blacked out in the tuk tuk, and I had to carry her into the guesthouse room. After a few mouthfuls of bottled water, she came to and got a little intimate. Her clothes seemed to fall off with little ease and tugging at my belt. “Oh god what have I got myself into?”
Back in Bangkok
The next morning came all too quick, and before long we were back in Bangkok. I explained I had a flight the next morning, so wanted a nice hotel as one last treat and to get some good sleep. She wanted to come with me and said she could not go home because of some family quarrel. I again agreed but reiterated I need to have a quiet night as I was exhausted.
Naturally, this was never going to happen and we were out again until 3:00 a.m. She seemed to recognize a lot of friends, and silly me had to pay the bill for drinks. Strange how they always order a large Heineken when they’re not paying the bill.
It got slightly edgy at one point with an argument between one of her colleagues about missing her shift but soon was forgotten.
I left the hotel around 5:00 a.m. while she was sleeping but I think she was probably awake. I tiptoed towards the lift and made my escape. She never asked for any money although she must have kept the room deposit of 500 baht so I thought I had a lucky escape.
In early 2024, I had spent 10,000 baht in 24 hours including the accommodation, food, drink, and Grab taxis. So overall, I was very pleased and relieved.
Looking back, it was the most exciting weekend I’ve had for a long time for obvious reasons. We left as complete strangers with no telephone or email addresses exchanged. I would say it’s not the first time she’s blagged a free weekend away and I don’t blame her. She could have robbed me or extorted more money, but she didn’t.
The 10,000 Baht Weekend and Reflection
I took a calculated risk, and this could have really gone badly. I always think the worst in people, and this has kept me safe for many years but maybe it’s time to rethink. I now firmly believe in living for the moment. I’ll cherish the good times as Thailand always delivers.
