My First Thai Girlfriend and Black Magic

This is a story about my first ever Thai girlfriend, and what went on in our relationship, if you can even call it that.

I will share how I met my girlfriend, how it ended and all the weird stuff that happened leading up to us breaking it off.

It was also my first solo trip out of the country, so it was a big learning experience for me.

I Plan My First Solo Trip To Thailand

I always wanted to go backpacking and visit other countries, I just never had the time or maybe that was just an excuse.

As I was not getting any younger, I finally pulled the trigger, booked a few months off work and decided to do a tour of Southeast Asia.

The original plan was for me to go to Thailand for a couple of weeks and then maybe travel to neighbouring countries before making my way back home and carrying on with my life.

I will be completely honest, the only reason I wanted to go to Thailand was because the nightlife interested me.

I had heard a lot about bar girls, and some no strings attached fun was something I was very much looking for.

However, that plan failed when I fell head over heels for a Thai girl, and I ended up staying in Thailand on a very long extended holiday.

I Arrive At A Thai Guesthouse

I was due to stay at a guesthouse that I had found online. It was very basic, but as I only planned to be there for 2 weeks and did not think I would be in the room much, I decided to book it.

After the 2 weeks was up, I was going to head to Cambodia for a couple more weeks and then make a plan there on where to go next.

Maybe Laos, Malaysia and the Philippines before finally heading back to my country.

The guesthouse is where I first met my girlfriend. She was a cook there.

She was also a bunch of other things such as cleaner, waitress and even sometimes would be checking guests in. Her name was Kwan.

Kwan wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the world, but there was something about her that would set me off and she had the cutest smile that could pick up anyone’s mood.

Kwan Becomes The Guesthouse Favorite

You know that feeling when you’re attracted to someone but have no idea why? It was like that.

You could tell by the way that other male guests looked at her that she was popular and attractive in some ways.

She was also a fantastic cook at the guesthouse.

Reading the reviews of the guesthouse before coming, they all seemed to mention the food. In fact, the guesthouse got a name for itself due to the food that was cooked there by Kwan.

She wasn’t the main chef or designed the menu or anything like that, she was simply the cook, but she did it with so much skill and pride.

It doesn’t matter which type of food she was cooking for the guests, either Thai food or Western food, it was simply delicious at all times.

Kwan Works Hard At The Guesthouse

Guests really loved her and in turn she loved the praises and tips that she would receive.

The guest house was full of single men, so it’s no shock that she made a lot of money in tips.

There was also another waitress there named Gift.

She was a bit older and more attractive than Kwan, but did not give off the same bubbly vibe. Like I said, there was something about Kwan that just drew guys to her.

She told me that she also tiled some of the rooms at the guesthouse. I believe she could have built her own hotel, managed it, ran it and done any other job that would be required.

She literally was that skilled, and I’m not exaggerating.

I Enjoy The Thailand Nightlife

But anyway, I wasn’t there to admire the guest house, I was there to experience the Thailand nightlife.

I would go out pretty much every night, going to new bars, bargaining and having fun with the bar girls.

Some evenings when I did not want to go out, I would arrange a freelancer and get a short time hotel for a few hours or bring them back to the guest house.

I mostly got short time hotels, because I was a bit paranoid about these type of girls knowing where I stayed. I thought it was best to play it safe.

This was the life for me. I was happy doing what I did, despite what other people may think about that type of lifestyle, I loved it.

I know a lot of people judge this type of tourist, and I fully understand because I was judgmental at first. It’s not until I experienced it myself that I understood why people do this.

The Guesthouse Manager Makes A Surprising Proposal

One evening coming back to my room, after meeting a young lady for short time at a different hotel, I ran into the manager of the guesthouse.

She was also a beautiful Thai woman, from Isaan, married to a Swedish guy that helped her run the house.

Probably just helped her financially because I never saw him there. I’m not even sure if he was in Thailand or not.

The owner asked where I had been today, and for some reason I told her straight: “Short time with a beauty.”

She wasn’t stupid. She knows why a lot of single men come here. She has probably heard and seen it all before.

But her reply left me stunned and gobsmacked.

The Manager Suggests Kwan As A Girlfriend

She replied: “Why are you bothering with bargirls and freelancers? You are going to be here longer than 2 weeks. People like you always end up extending.”

I’m not sure what she meant with “people like me.” Maybe she was referring to people that come for the female fun that Thailand has to offer.

Then she said: “Why don’t you take Kwan or Gift to live with you while you are here? They can take great care of you for little money each month. They are both honest and maybe you can fall in love and get married. I know they are looking for farang husbands. You should take one and stop wasting money on bargirls that will leave you after a short time.”

I just stood there with my mouth wide open once she said that. I did not know where to look.

At first I did not know if she was joking or being serious, but I could tell by the look on her face that she was indeed being serious.

It was like she was trying to be a Mamasan for her staff. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

I Begin Thinking About Kwan Differently

As I did not know what to reply, I just laughed and said “Ok I will think about it” and off I went to my room.

Even though I was not attracted to Gift, I was very attracted to Kwan at the time. Though it never really crossed my mind to spend time with her. I had a separate fund that I had been saving up for that kind of fun.

And I certainly wasn’t looking to be anyone’s farang husband, let alone someone’s boyfriend.

I wanted the paid type of fun because I wasn’t thinking about something long term. I wanted to be a butterfly with no strings attached.

And staying in Thailand for longer than 2 weeks was not my plan. I wasn’t trying to meet anyone.

That being said, the manager really did plant a seed in my mind. I went to bed that night thinking actually it would be nice to spend time with Kwan.

I Make A Move On Kwan

For the next 2 days, every time I saw Kwan I was juggling with the thought of asking her if she would like to spend the night with me.

My thoughts eventually got the better of me, and 3 days after speaking with the manager, I asked Kwan if she wanted to spend the night with me.

I told her that it would just be a bit of fun while I am here, that I will pay for, and that it doesn’t have to lead to anything serious.

She was fine with this, and that very same night, we went on a date together after she finished work.

We went out for food and drinks. I wanted to break the ice so having some drinks I thought would be a good start.

After a few drinks and getting slightly tipsy, she suggested that we get some beers and continue back at the hotel.

Kwan Spends The Night With Me

We all know what that means. It was like music to my ears. I agreed, paid the bill and off we went.

As soon as we got back to the room, I don’t think her feet touched the floor. She instantly pushed me on the bed.

The bedroom fun was great, but it wasn’t too late in the night when we finished so we continued with the drinking and chatting.

Once we had drunk up and it was getting pretty late, I told her she could spend the night if she feels comfortable.

She agreed, and we had another session before finally going to sleep.

I really enjoyed our night together and her company. It was the first time spending the night with someone that I wanted to see again.

Kwan And I Spend More Nights Together

The next morning, I asked her if she had any plans for the evening and if she would like to go out again.

She replied that she was working late but would come to my room after work if I wanted.

I was completely fine with that. It just meant I would have to stay in the room and wait for her, rather than going out to the bars.

We had another night like the first night, drinking and bedroom fun. She also stayed over for the night.

Kwan Moves In As My Holiday Girlfriend

Two days after spending the first night with her, she moved in with me.

She was pleasant to be around and I could easily see myself not getting bored with her and enjoy having her around.

We had discussed the money, and she was happy with 10,000 baht a week to stay with me and be somewhat of a maid with benefits.

This would also be on top of her salary for working at the guest house.

As a live in, sleep in, maid that also gave fantastic bedroom fun, I guess I could have called her a holiday girlfriend at that point.

Kwan And I Rent A Condo Together

After 2 weeks at the guesthouse and almost every night spent with Kwan, we both agreed that it would be nicer and better if I rented a condo.

I had already decided I wanted to extend my stay in Thailand, so renting a condo seemed better practically and financially.

I got a condo not too far from the guest house so that Kwan and I could carry on our agreement.

It was great for me. I was alone during the day while she was at work. I could go out exploring, getting up to mischief or just relaxing by myself.

Then night time, Kwan would come over, do the house work, do the cooking and cleaning and then we would hit the bedroom for a bit of fun.

Also during her breaks, Kwan would sometimes come over for a bit of fun. She was a very eager lady that wanted to do it almost every hour of every day. Sometimes she would even tire me out.

Kwan Takes Care Of Our Condo Life

Although she was not as experienced as most of the bar girls or freelancers that I had met in the past, she was still good and willing to do most things.

This became much more than a girlfriend experience. It was unbelievable and I was very happy with this agreement we had.

Because although the bedroom fun was great, that wasn’t the most important thing. It was the other stuff she would do like cleaning and cooking that mattered.

Kwan Saves Money For Her Mother And Her House

One night, Kwan and I was talking, and she told me that at that point in her life she had one goal, and that was to save up around 150k Baht to rebuild her mother’s house and that being with me and working, it was helping a lot for her to meet that goal.

She would sometimes work 16 hour days, and still find the time to come over and take care of me like nobody else had before.

I would sometimes travel and be away from the condo for a night or 2.

This did not bother her and she would still stay at the condo alone.

She knew deep down that I would be going with other women, because Kwan and I wasn’t anything official. At that time it was just business.

Kwan would just tell me to be careful and always wear protection, watch my drink, don’t get robbed and was genuinely concerned for me.

Kwan Helps Me Explore Thailand

She saw that I quickly became fascinated with the country and the culture, so she would take me to events, temples and eat out at Thai food restaurants whenever she had free time.

She would even tell me where to go and when to go if she had work.

My trip would have just been full of days hungover and night times spent in the bars with bar girls if it wasn’t for Kwan.

As I already said, she wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the world, but she was very caring and hardworking. She tended to my every needs, and after a few weeks I was starting to fall in love with her.

There was one problem though, the food.

I was becoming addicted to Thai food and Kwan’s cooking. She would joke that she wanted to make me fat so that she would be the only woman that found me cute and others wouldn’t want to be with me.

Kwan Begins Asking Me For Money

The arrangement between Kwan and me went on for about 6 weeks. At first there was no problem. She was everything I could ask for at the time.

The problems slowly started when I noticed that Kwan started to ask me for money every now and again.

Not a huge amount, just a couple of thousand baht here and there to send back to her mum.

I would help her out when she asked, because I did not think much of it at the time and thought she was genuine.

I guess looking back, she was testing me and seeing how far she could push asking me for money.

Another thing is, when we would go to the mall or just explore a bit, there was always something she wanted to buy.

Kwan Starts Wanting More Things

Clothes, bags, jewelry, you name it and she would ask for it.

I did buy her a gold bracelet, not super expensive like $200, some clothes and some other things.

It did not break the bank but it left me wary that I should probably not try and get feelings for this girl. It is business after all.

Kwan And I Take A Road Trip To Her Family

A couple of weeks before I was set to return to my country, Kwan and I decided that she would take some holidays from work and we would go on a little road trip.

We drove to places like Ayutthaya, Lopburi and some other places that I can’t pronounce let alone spell.

She wanted to be home with her family and see her mum for her birthday, so I thought the idea of us both going there would be nice.

We arrived at her mum’s home in rural Korat a couple of days before her birthday so we could have a little birthday party the night before.

And when I say rural Korat, I’m being serious.

When we got into the city centre, we then had to take a dodgy truck followed by two buses and then we arrived in the middle of nowhere.

We Arrive In Rural Korat

Everything was foreign to me, but I had a trusted companion so I did not feel worried.

Kwan Receives A Birthday Gift From Me

For Kwan’s 35th birthday, I gave her 35,000 baht. I did this in front of her family to get some brownie points and allow Kwan to show off a little bit.

It was probably a bad idea for me to flash cash around her family, and as soon as I did it, regret crept up on me.

I tried to make a joke like “That’s it, you’ve taken all my money now” in hopes that they would think I only had that money for Kwan’s birthday.

When I gave Kwan that money, she cried and kissed me in front of her family. She told me later that with everything I’ve paid her over the weeks, her salary and now the birthday gift, she is close to 100k baht to put towards a new house.

We actually went to the bank for her to deposit the birthday money, and she showed me her account. Surprisingly, she had saved every baht and hardly spent anything.

This made me believe the story about the house, because to be honest, when she told me that story I thought it was just a sob story to try and get me to give her more money.

Kwan Saves The Money For A New House

Weirdly, I was actually impressed and proud of her for not spending the money stupidly and actually saving it for a good cause.

I had been paying Kwan weekly, and paid for all our food, trips and rent, but I was on holiday. Money wasn’t important. I was having fun.

She had been a good companion and had done everything for me, so it was well worth the money.

Plus her mother’s home, if you can call it that, was really a mess. I don’t know how anyone could live in a place like that. So if Kwan was saving all my money to help her mother, then I was happy to pay.

It was eye opening, going from a nice clean condo to seeing how the other side of Thailand lives in poverty.

They literally have nothing there. It’s nice to see how the family comes together to help each other out.

I See Her Family Poverty

In my country, if you are down on your luck and have no money, you have to fend for yourself. There isn’t much help out there.

Kwan Takes Me To A Witch Doctor

The morning after her birthday party, I woke up to the sounds of a busy house.

I went out to see a lot of her family there, cooking and rushing around.

I asked Kwan what was going on. She said: “We are going to Buddha.” She said some Thai word before Buddha but because I heard the word Buddha, I thought we were just going to a temple.

I guessed this was a cultural thing to do, visit the temple with family on your birthday.

We all piled in a pickup truck with enough food to feed a whole damn village. I asked Kwan many times what was going on but Kwan kept saying not to worry about it and that we will be there shortly.

It quickly became apparent that we were not on our way to the temple and going somewhere else instead.

The Family Prepares For A Strange Ceremony

We arrived at someone’s house, which I later found out to be some type of witch doctor so to speak. There is a name for it in Thai but I have forgot.

Keep in mind, I did not know who she was or what she did at the time.

Kwan sat up front with the lady while I was made to sit right at the back just watching.

The room had a horrible smell to it with portraits hung on the wall. Funnily enough, the portraits were all of Western men, no Thais.

Kwan’s family stood up, and I was the only one sitting. They were watching and easily listening to Kwan and this woman talking.

All the food had been laid out between Kwan and this lady, while the lady was sat in front of some type of altar with a lot of weird objects laid all over.

I Sit Before The Witch Doctor

I was wondering why we did not go to the temple, but from a Westerner’s point of view and the fact I had no idea what was going on, it was still pretty fascinating to see the type of things they do in Thailand.

The lady and Kwan was talking for a while, in Thai obviously so I didn’t understand anything, and then they called me over.

I was hesitant but I still went along with it for Kwan. I approached the altar and sat facing the witch doctor.

At this point, there was about 15 of Kwan’s family members just stood around watching me. It became very embarrassing as I had no idea what was about to happen.

The witch doctor did some kind of ceremony, sprinkled water on us and a bunch of other stuff before grabbing my wrist and tying a white string around it while all of Kwan’s family placed their hands on parts of my body.

All the family members then placed their hands together and bowed to me, saying something over and over in Thai.

The Ceremony Leaves Me Frightened

Needless to say I was very freaked out by this experience. Even if I wanted to get up and leave, I was deep in the middle of nowhere with no clue where to go or how to get back to normal Thailand.

I don’t remember the ceremony too well. It’s blurry in my mind as I was in a bit of a daze. I’m not sure if the witch doctor made me feel that way or because I was just insanely freaked out by what was happening.

Then it dawned on me: did we just get married without me knowing about it? Was this some type of Thailand wedding ritual that I was not told about?

When it was finally over and we got out of the house, I said to Kwan: “What the hell was that? did we just get married?”

She assured me that we weren’t married.

She knew it was almost time for me to travel back to my home country, and she knew that I had plans to return to Thailand. She said that it was just a ceremony to make sure that I would travel safe and nothing bad would happen to me.

I Tear The String From My Wrist

She then said to not take off the string or that I will get bad luck.

I was angry that she did not tell me any of this before we were going. Surely she could have told me what to expect so I wouldn’t have been so paranoid.

Anyway, we went back to the mother’s shack with the family and they passed the food around that they had taken to and from the witch doctor‘s home.

Everyone ate apart from me. I just wasn’t in the mood. I had lost all my appetite and was still in a bit of a shock from what I just encountered.

I believed I wasn’t being told the truth about what just happened.

That afternoon, I was heading back to the condo but Kwan wanted to stay in Korat a while longer.

I Return To The Condo In Shock

Kwan and a couple of the family members took me to the bus, and once I was on it and out of sight of them all, I quickly tore the string from my wrist.

I Discover The Truth About The Ceremony

During the bus trip home, I called a bar girl from Bangkok that I had become friendly with. Not bedroom fun type of friendly, but we had become close friends.

I told her what had happened and described the whole experience. The first thing she asked me was: “Was there any food prepared and did you eat any of it?”

I said no and she replied: “Good, you’ll be ok then.” That was kind of reassuring but I still did not know what had happened and why eating the food would have been bad.

My bargirl friend and I met in Bangkok a couple of days later. She explained that Kwan had taken me to a witch doctor and she performed a ceremony that was like black magic to bind Kwan and I together and to make sure we would get married.

That is probably why I had the feeling that we had just got married during the ceremony.

Once I heard this, and what Kwan had put me through, I was very disappointed and actually quite sad.

Kwan Uses Black Magic To Bind Us

I knew then that I would never trust her or see her again.

I mean, she did not have to go through all of this. I already told her on many occasions that I wanted to be with her and develop our relationship.

I told her that I planned to come back to Thailand very soon so we could take the next step.

All the money I had spent on her, the gifts I purchased and the money I sent to her family to help should have been enough proof that I was serious about her.

It’s a shame because she was the type of woman I could see myself marrying. She was a really good woman, big heart, would do anything for me and I think she loved me as well.

I just don’t think I could ever forgive her for lying to me and tricking me into doing something that I would never have agreed to if I had known what it was.

I Lose Trust In Kwan

And doing all that while I was in the middle of nowhere and completely vulnerable. No, I don’t think I could trust her again.

I Cut Contact With Kwan And Move On

I got rid of my Thai SIM card and I never gave her any other details. I wasn’t even on social media at the time, so we had cut all contact.

A couple of years later, and knowing what I know now about Thailand and the culture there, I can feel a little more forgiving.

I have actually tried to find her a couple of times on Facebook and other social media apps, but haven’t had any luck as I don’t know her full name or even if Kwan was her real name.

Sometimes I do actually think about her, especially when I returned to Thailand again the next time.

I wonder if she has actually met the man of her dreams, if her family home ever got fixed and most importantly, is she happy?

The next time I went to Thailand, I was thinking about going to the guest house to see if she was still there, but finally decided against it.

I Still Wonder If Kwan Loved Me

I think most people would say that I should be happy that I got rid of a possible scammer, but deep down I did and still do have feelings for her.

I do try and justify what she did, thinking she was only doing what she thought was best, and that was securing a future with money.

Maybe she did not have feelings for me. Maybe all this was about money. I guess I’ll never know, but I’ll still cherish the time with her.

When I was with Kwan, she made my extended holiday worthwhile. I did not care that I spent money like water just to please her.

I think deep down that she is a fantastic woman. I don’t think she meant any harm. She just went about things the wrong way.

One of my regrets is that I told her early on what I do for a living and how much money I make. I think this persuaded her to do whatever she can to keep me.

I Think About What The Ceremony Changed

She had won the lottery in her and her family’s eyes, and she wanted to see the deal through.

The whole irony in my story is that by trying her best to cash in on marrying me, she ruined it.

If she hadn’t taken me to that ceremony and tried to trick me into marrying her, then I would be still living with her today and would probably be married to her.

Who knows, maybe in the future I will return to try and find her. But if I never see her again, I’ll keep her in my memory and hope she is happy.