Thailand Friendship And Scams
Some time ago, a video mentioned a type of bar in Thailand that surprised people. Well, I also recently found out about the same thing, but in my case, I didn’t read or hear about it. I actually saw it, and that’s what this story is about. In December 2025, I met a bar girl in Pattaya. Her name was Ploy. I had a great first night with her. We went out for dinner and listen to live music, went to clubs, and ended the night with some good aerobics. So, I decided to go back to her bar another night to bar fine her again.
This second time, I did two things most people say you shouldn’t do. First, Ploy asked me to also bar fine one of her friends, Nui, and I said yes because sometimes it is fun to have two girls with you even when only one of them is actually with you, if you know what I mean. Second, I let them decide where to go. It can be risky, but it also use it is usually a good way to get to know places I wouldn’t find on my own.
I’m aware that they get commission for taking me to some bars, but if I’m having fun, that’s okay with me. So, the three of us started going around the city. We went for something to eat and then some bars, mostly places with Thai people and Thai bands, and almost no foreigners. The night was going great.
Then, Nui suggested one last place, and I didn’t even ask where or what it was. That, I admit, was a mistake. Anyway, we took two motorbike taxis, and we went. When we arrived, I didn’t quite get where we were. It was some kind of bar in a part of the city I’d never been to before. There were some paintings on the wall. I actually took a photo of them, and I’ll send it to you. It has geolocation data, so you can see where the bar is.
Replace all just out of curiosity because, of course, I don’t think you would want to go there, haha. Anyway, Ploi then introduced me to an older woman from the bar and said, “This is the mama san.” which made me think, “Wait, if she’s a mama san, where are the girls?” It’s if a bar has a mama san, it also has girls, right? The place was almost empty, just a few women, but they didn’t look like they were working or maybe they were just some kind of staff. It was hard to tell. Suddenly, music started playing and some guys started to appear. They were young Thai guys and they were wearing numbers on their shirts.
Finally, I started to realize it was something like a go-go bar, but for women. The guys with numbers on their shirts went up onto a stage. They stood there a while, a few Thai women around the bar were looking at them and trying to choose one of them. I remember one of your stories with the guy who wrote it that said, “Thai girls like guys who look like K-pop stars.” But those guys on the stage looked more like regular Thai guys, like any tuk-tuk driver or tour guide. Just younger. Anyway, the reason the girls wanted to go there was because Nui wanted to choose a guy and buy him drinks. I was already uncomfortable there, but it got worse.
Ploi started asking me to pay for the drinks Nui wanted to buy for a guy. I said, “No. No way. I’m not paying for a drink for a guy. That crossed the line. ” Ploi kept pushing it saying, “She wants me to buy him a drink.” She was trying to look cute when saying it, but she was getting on my nerves at that point. I said, “If Nui wants a boy, she can use her own money.”
Leaving The Isolated Bar
Ploi kept trying to look cute while asking me, trying to convince me, but by that time I’d already decided to leave. In the end, Nui paid for the drink herself. Her chosen guy sat with her and basically they did the same things she was used to doing with customers, just reversed. She was paying a young Thai guy to give her the same kind of attention she usually gives to foreign customers. I found the situation interesting in a way, but at the same time, the night had completely lost the fun for me. I told Ploi I was leaving. I thought she would come with me since I had to pay her for the night, but no, she just accepted it. In the end, I still paid her, of course, but less than what I paid her the first time, and I left.
When I was already on the street, Nuey was the one who followed me and asked smiling and touching me, “Come to my bar tomorrow.” I didn’t answer. I just thought, “Yeah, right.” Then Ploi also appeared outside the bar saying she’s worried about how I was going to get back because the place was quite isolated. I was annoyed and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll manage.” Eventually, the girls left me and went back into the bar, while I tried to get a Grab or a Bolt, but they were right. It was not easy to get a ride.
It took me a long time. When I finally got one, it was already very late. I even tried to stop by Walking Street, which was the closest place where I might still find some action. I wanted to see if I could still save the night and find someone else to spend time with, but there wasn’t much going on there anymore. I was still able to get into a go-go bar, but it closed at exactly 4:00 a. m. , which gave me only a few minutes inside. I left alone and considered going to the Coconut Bar on Beach Road to find a freelancer, but I’m not a fan of getting freelancers on the street.
So, I just called it a night and I went back to my hotel. The night didn’t end as I expected, and I was still surprised by how weird it was. A beautiful bar girl buying drinks for a guy. I wonder what those ladies’ drinks would be called. A guy drink? A gentleman’s drink? Well, all things considered, it was still a fun night until around 3:00 a. m.
So, I can’t really complain that much, but from now on, I will always make sure I know what kind of a place I’m being taken to before I actually go there. So, I’ve heard about these bars in Pattaya before. I’ve never actually been to one, but apparently there are go-go bars with young guys in them. And these girls who work in the bars, it’s really strange because they they dance and they work and they go with customers to make money, and then they go to these guy bars and they take guys off stage and it’s a kind of a reverse role. I don’t know if there’s something psychological going on there, but a funny story I remember years ago, a friend of mine had a who was very straight had a gay friend and it was it was his birthday and we were all going out. And my friend said to his gay friend, he said, “Look, it’s your birthday, we’ll go anywhere you like. ” So, we ended up in a few gay bars and also a club like being described in this in this story. And I was with a friend and we, you know, nothing against gays or anything like that.
I don’t want to sound like you know, one of those guys who’s who who doesn’t like anything like that. No opinions, but we just couldn’t stop laughing because what it was there were young guys it was a revolving stage and there was these young guys on there in white Y-fronts and it was so comical to see, you know, with solemn faces, no smiles, nothing. And you know, I’ve never had my ribs hurt so much because we were trying to hide the fact that we were laughing, you know, like this. And it was a very comical scene.
Meeting Mam In Nana
A month ago I met Mam in a beer bar in Nana. she spent the evening with me and it was almost magical. I’ve already written about it and it was shared before. My first stop on a month-long trip through Indochina was Bangkok. The next day it was time to move on and say goodbye to Mam. It was a down-to-earth farewell, no promises, no sweet nothings, but Mam had certainly touched my heart. I find her truly special, honest, and a good person. Her story wasn’t unusual. She was from Isaan, had a child at home, was looking after her family, and worked in the beer bar alongside her niece. She showed me photos and everything added up. I paid in advance, too, and she simply stayed the whole night. I was sorry that I didn’t know of any way to help her in a meaningful way. We thanked each other via WhatsApp for the lovely time, and that was that. After about 6 days, I received a WhatsApp message. “Good morning, my love. In many stories I hear on your channel, farangs are reeled in through the following steps.
I love you. I’m looking after my sick mother.” A photo is sent, and then comes the request for money. Or contact is maintained through messages in the hope of meeting again when the farang returns. She appeared to be following exactly the same pattern. I wrote that I was in Laos. She replied immediately saying that she was also in Lao looking after a sick grandmother, exactly by the book. I decided to reply as she would expect and wrote that I thought Laos was a wonderful, beautiful country, which it is true, by the way. I can recommend everyone to visit. As ma’am herself was half Lao, she was naturally delighted to hear this. The next thing that happened was, of course, exchanging photos. Sure enough, the first photo of her wasn’t long in coming. I sent a photo of myself back as expected. The reply came, “Handsome man. ” It carried on like that for about 3 weeks with a message every day. I was a bit disappointed because after our first meeting in Bangkok and that magical night together, I genuinely thought she was special.
Now it seems she was just trying to reel me in. On the other hand, I couldn’t really blame her, either. She didn’t know any different when it came to communicating with farangs because all her colleagues in the beer bar did exactly the same thing. She was simply doing what she had to do to survive in a tough world of beer bars. Slowly, an idea began to form in my head. After our first meeting, I really regretted not knowing how I could help her get ahead in a meaningful way either within or outside the beer bar scene. I started Googling and consulting chat GPT. Daily earnings in the beer bar are around 300 baht a day. She gets about 60 baht per ladies drink and the rest comes from short time or long time. As I read on chat GPT, I thought I knew something. Mam is 29 years old. She’ll probably be able to keep working in the beer bar for another 5 years at most. After that, she’ll be overtaken by younger girls. Who knows? Perhaps, like many others, she is hoping for a knight in shining armor from Europe or Australia to take her away. I could also tell Mam how to plan her own future in a systematic way and that this is much more fulfilling than leave it living from day-to-day.
Set a goal not too far into the future, say 4 years, and work towards it step-by-step. If she’s hoping for a relationship with a foreigner, I can tell her what to look out for. Many farangs have to work hard to appear wealthy for 2 or 3 weeks in Nana. In real life, many of them aren’t. In Europe, the girls often face the same problems that have been described for pensioners who moved to Thailand: social isolation, boredom, no friends, and loneliness. The man is at work all day while the woman stays at home alone. Without qualifications, the best job she can usually hope for is cleaning or working in a factory, or she may end up working in one of the well-known sauna clubs. Nine out of 10 marriages to a foreign partner end in divorce. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider it. In around 10% of cases, it does work out. But you need to be careful and above all, ask the right questions and make clear the agreements in advance. How much money will be sent to the family? Whether he will pay for a driving license and provide a car? Because fellow countrymen won’t live just around the corner and you’ll probably need to drive to visit them or to go to the temple. You should also discuss how often you’ll be able to return home to visit your family. If there is a significant age difference, it’s important to talk openly about what you both expect.
A woman from Taiwan once told me that Asian women like older men because they are more stable. That may well be true, but with too great an age gap, there is also a good chance the woman will eventually end up looking after you in old age. That’s perfectly fine, but you both need to understand what you’re getting into beforehand. I also wanted to explain to Mam how to plan her future in a systematic way because that is much more rewarding than simply living from day to day. Meanwhile, I was seeing some of the most beautiful towns and temples and natural wonders imaginable in the countries surrounding Thailand. I wrote to Mam saying it was a shame she couldn’t experience all this, too, because I would have loved to take her with me. That was true. She replied saying she thought it was a shame as well. So, I suggested we spend a few days together in Phuket once I returned to Bangkok. I thought it was a good idea because we could have a proper chat there, and besides, I’d never been to Phuket before. She thought it was a brilliant idea and sent me a copy of her ID so I could make the booking. I did have one condition. I told her, “I want to take you because I like to get to know you better and because I think you’re a good person. Of course, I’ll pay the bar fine and make sure you don’t lose any money by coming with me for 5 days, but it’s not work. I’m not a client, and I’m not paying for your company, if you know what I mean.” I also said because in the bar, you always have to do what the customers want, we’ll we’ll turn that around in Phuket.
We’ll do what you want. It’s your holiday. I don’t know if she completely understood, but she replied saying she was happy with that and could take the time off. Her ID card confirmed that everything she told me earlier was true. Her age, place of birth, and name all matched. That really put my mind at ease. She genuinely was an honest person. The evening before we left, she come to my hotel. We had something to eat and chatted. I said, “We’ve already seen each other very openly before, so we’ve got nothing to hide. I want to get to know you better, and I hope we’ll both be honest when we ask each other questions. Of course, if there’s something you don’t want to answer, that’s fine.
A Phuket Trip With Mam
The same goes for me.” I started by telling her a little about myself, and then asked if she’d like to tell me about herself. She spoke about her childhood, showed me photos, and explained how she’d ended up in Bangkok. She also told me what she earned, which was roughly in line with what I’d read online. After a bit of aerobics, we went to bed because we had an early start the following morning. Off we went.
It was only the second time she’d ever flown, so it wasn’t completely new to her. What was new though, was the Coral Business Lounge with its complimentary chair massage. Communicating with each other turned out to be much more difficult than I’d expected. During our first meeting in Bangkok, our communication had mostly consisted of aerobics. While I was traveling, we mainly communicated through WhatsApp. Now, we actually had to hold conversations. That proved very difficult because her English and my Thai were both very limited. So, we relied heavily on a translation app. It was exhausting. I finally understood why you often say see foreign men walking hand-in-hand with their Thai partners. You rarely see Thai couples doing that amongst themselves. But, a Thai and a farang often can’t communicate properly, so they express themselves through gestures, holding hands, touching each other’s, or feeling each other in restaurants.
I used to think it looked rather childish. Now I realize it’s often because the alternative is sitting in silence together, unable to hold a conversation. I found that way of communicating very tiring, especially over several days. Back in Phuket, I was really pleased that it genuinely became her holiday. We did the things she wanted to do and followed her suggestions. We visited the Big Buddha where she very devoutly offered incense, went to the beach, explored the old town, and visited the place everyone says you must go to see, Phuket‘s most beautiful sun sunset. I took lots of photos of her with my camera and iPhone. We also became friends on Facebook. I noticed many of the photos which received lots of enthusiastic comments. She even introduced me through WhatsApp to her grandmother in Laos, her mother, and her sister. Of course, I don’t know what she told them about me, but I thought it was a lovely gesture. Back to my plan of talking about her future. I told her I was worried about what lay ahead. I asked her, “What are your plans? You can’t keep doing this job forever. Before long, you’ll be considered too old.” Fortunately, she told me she had no intention of starting a relationship with a European. She didn’t want to leave her family or her son, so I didn’t need to explain my views about their pitfalls of moving to Europe or Australia with someone.
As for her expiry date in the beer bar, she replied that there were still two women in their 40s working there. Besides, she asked what else could she do? Things were fine as they were. I told her it wasn’t my intention to persuade her to leave the beer bar. That was something only she could decide. But I repeated that sooner or later she’d be overtaken by younger girls who would attract the better customers, leaving the more difficult ones for her. Those were often the customers with more extreme requests who had already been turned down by the younger girls. She really needed to think ahead. I suggested she set herself a goal and work towards it step by step. For example, she could improve her English. There are free apps available including some designed specifically for Thai people. Better English would immediately give her an advantage over other girls and open up more opportunities. You’ve got a lot of talent, I told her. In the paper, you’re an expert at reading men, working out what they want, whether they’re all right, whether they can be trusted for short time or long time, and how many lady drinks they might buy you. Every customer wants something different. Some want the girlfriend experience, while others are only interested in the aerobics. You have to recognize that and deal with it. Not everyone can do that.
I tried to get across to her that she was capable of much more than she realized. I couldn’t really tell whether she understood everything I was trying to say, but at least I tried. Your listeners might also want to know how the aerobics side of the holiday turned out. At the beginning, I told her this wasn’t work. We still did aerobics during the first few days, but it wasn’t the same as before, partly because I felt uncomfortable about it. I’m 66 and she was 29. I can’t imagine she’s genuinely found me an attractive bed partner, so I assumed she was doing it because she thought it was simply part of the arrangement. But it wasn’t part of my arrangement. On the third day, she wanted to buy something from a supermarket. Naturally, I paid for it and she started chuckling to herself. I didn’t even look at what she’d bought and I handed her the carrier bag. Later by the pool, she explained she couldn’t swim because it was that time of the month. It turned out I bought her what women need to buy at that time of the month. That made it much more natural for us to stop the nightly aerobic sessions. Naturally, I checked the bathroom bin a a of times afterwards and sure enough, even in that respect, she’d been completely honest with me. For me, Phuket became an adventure. So did getting to know Mam. It was an unexpected adventure.
I’ve always said, including in my first story, that I don’t get silly ideas into my head. I’m more than 30 years older than she is, and I could never be an equal partner. Apart from the obvious handsome man, my love, and I miss you messages, Mam never gave me any indication that she had romantic feelings towards me. On the other hand, as I said in my first story again, had I been younger, I would certainly have made a move. Phuket became a confrontation with my old age and the stage of life I’m at. I can no longer do what I would have done as a younger man, unfortunately. With Mam, I experienced the transaction from a transactional a relationship as a customer to a genuine friendship. I’d like to think she experienced the same. In her world, you become emotionally tough and don’t reveal yourself easily. Clients and friendships often become intertwined. A customer who returns regularly and treats you well can also become a sort of friend. Of course, I don’t really know what I am to her. What I do know is that in her final WhatsApp message, she wrote, “Don’t worry, I don’t plan to stay in the beer bar for another 5 years. And if you come back, I hope to see you again as a friend, not as a client.” It may well be that with her social intelligence, she simply wrote what she thought I wanted to hear. Either way, it was nice to hear. I genuinely wish her and her son and the rest of the family all the very best for the future. On the last evening, I gave her the memory card from my camera containing photos I’d taken of her.
Then, on the flight home, somewhere around 38,000 ft above India, I deleted our entire WhatsApp history and every photo from my iPhone. That erased all traces of our very special encounter. A future together in whatever form was never on the cards, but I will always have fun in Phuket. I don’t know if I would have erased it. I mean, you could have still been friends with her, but you know, maybe maybe it was for the best. I don’t know where the guy is getting his numbers from because in that story he said only about what was it? 90% 99% or something of foreign relationships with Thai women work out. I’ve known a lot of relationships between guys and Thai women that work out, especially down here in Hua Hin.
You see literally hundreds of guys with Thai women and they it’s obvious they’re not bar girls or they’ve been bar girls. They just bar girls have got a certain look about them. But one thing I have found out of experience, I find that a relationship between a foreigner and a Thai girl is more likely to work if you’re here living in Thailand full time. Once you go abroad, Thai people they’re pack animals, okay? They don’t do being on your own. And if you’re in another country and you don’t come back for three, four months, you know, anything can happen. Just an opinion. You know, I’m allowed an opinion, right?
Russian Tourist Scam In Pattaya
Thailand finally got me. After all these years traveling to Thailand problem free, I finally got scammed and where else could it happen but Pattaya? To set the scene, I’m an English guy in my mid-30s and despite being stuck in the daily corporate grind back home, Thailand keeps drawing me back. I usually make two or three trips a year. Despite Pattaya being the world capital of the adult entertainment industry, the truth is I don’t go there for that reason. I like the chilled vibe of Jomtien, laying on the beach with a Singha, enjoying the food and markets, watching the sunsets over Pratumnak, and exploring the area on a motorbike. As a single man, I don’t mind the company of local women. However, to meet girls, I generally stick to my strategy of online dating, which is what finally caught me out.
Now, I’m usually very paranoid about scams, but this one, I have to give it to the girl, she got me. As usual, once I arrived in Pattaya, I fired up Tinder to see if I could meet a girl to hang out with without having to pay a daily bar fine or long time rate. It worked. I spent the first two days with a Thai girl who was a teacher at a local high school. She was cute, feminine, and had a lovely personality. I could easily have spent my whole trip with her, but being the guy I am, like a kid in a sweet shop, I just had to keep swiping on Tinder. This time, I matched with an absolutely stunning Russian girl, and that’s where it all started. She was gorgeous, blonde hair, perfect features, and because of that, I suspected there might be some sort of scam involved.
Being slightly above average-looking guy, I questioned whether someone that attractive would genuinely be interested in me. Naively, I brushed this thought aside, telling myself that most guys in Pattaya were focused on bar girls and Thai women, rather than Western women. I convinced myself it might actually I have a chance with a foreign girl on holiday, and that idea served me well on previous trips to Thailand. We chatted more, and she told me about her life in Russia, explaining that she worked in a corporate job and was visiting Pattaya with friends for a few weeks. I actually believed her. For a bit of context, if you’ve ever walked down Walking Street, you’ll know there are plenty of bars catering for men who want to meet Russian girls. But I genuinely thought she was simply on holiday and fancied meeting a guy. Eventually, I asked if she’d like to meet for a drink.
She agreed, and I suggested a nice rooftop bar where we could watch the sunset over Pattaya. Instead, she insisted on meeting on Walking Street, which should have been my first red flag. Being the optimist I am, I agreed and headed down there thinking to myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” I was about to find out. I walked towards the end of Walking Street looking at bars where we could actually sit and talk. I was nervous, wondering why a girl like her would be interested in me, but I kept reminding myself that I was in Thailand. Then I saw her walking towards me and I was genuinely stunned. She was absolutely gorgeous, slim, tanned, blonde, and with perfect features.
Her photos hadn’t have done her justice. Just being with her made me feel like the luckiest man alive. She smiled, said hello, and gave me a hug. She had such a sweet nature about her. I asked where she’d like to go for a drink and started walking towards a small cocktail bar nearby. When we got there, she said it wasn’t really her sort of place. She suggested somewhere quieter where we could get to know each other. I thought, “Why not?
What did I have to lose?” We searched Google together and she showed me another place that looked a bit quieter. I agreed and we walked towards it. As we got closer, though, we found ourselves heading down a small alleyway towards what looked more like a nightclub.
Spotting The Pattaya Scam
That felt a bit odd, but when I saw there was a large open area with a pool, I dismissed my concerns. Once we sat down, we looked through the menu. At first glance, it didn’t seem too expensive, so I ordered a beer as usual. That’s when things started to get strange. She began talking about how much she loved wine and I said she should order a glass if she wanted one. Once she ordered, I looked at the menu properly and realized a single glass of French wine cost 1,500 baht. I thought, “That’s going to hurt, but one glass wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
Then we looked at the food menu. I’d already eaten, so I wasn’t ordering anything, but she said she loved seafood and promptly ordered some fancy oysters for another 1,500 baht. Brilliant. Before the evening had really started, I was already down 3,000 baht. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable about the whole situation. At the same time, as we talked more about her life in Russia, I relaxed a little and quietly convinced myself that perhaps Russian girls simply had expensive taste. Maybe if I wanted to spend time with a stunning woman, I had to spend a bit more than 100 baht on a plate of pad thai.
We had a good conversation and I genuinely enjoyed getting to know her, but something still didn’t feel quite right. She seemed far too interested in me, despite clearly being much more attractive, and she kept making comments about how handsome I was. After the meal, which she barely touched, another red flag, I suggested we go somewhere else. She agreed, but first suggested we have one more drink before leaving. Just like that, another 1,500 baht disappeared. While she went to the bar to look at the drinks menu, I quickly searched the venue on Google. Unsurprisingly, I found a review after review from other men warning tourists about exactly the same scam at exactly the same place.
At first, I was annoyed with myself for being so gullible, but then I actually started to find the whole thing quite amusing. When she came back, she started talking about how much she loved whiskey in Russia and suggested we order a whole bottle. I smiled and said I’d love to, but perhaps a little later because I was still enjoying my beer. She also suggested karaoke, which I knew would be another expensive trap. I played along saying I love singing and maybe we should even order champagne when we got together. Then I broke the bad news. I told her I’d suddenly developed a terrible stomach ache and needed to pop into 7-Eleven for some aspirins before heading back to my hotel.
I suggested we could meet again the following day and continue our session once I’d recovered. Her face dropped instantly. I could see the disappointment. She spent all that time with me and only managed to get about 5,000 baht out of me. Whereas plenty of other tourists probably spent 20,000 baht or more. I couldn’t see any point in donating more money to the venue. So, I apologized politely, said goodbye, and left.
Looking back after so many years traveling around Thailand, I was probably due to be scammed at some point. Although it was definitely a scam, it could have been much worse. On the positive side, I spent the evening with a stunning girl, enjoyed some seafood, drank a few beers, and came away with a great story to tell. My advice to anyone visiting Pattaya is not to become paranoid, but always keep your guard up, especially if you meet someone online who seems far more attractive than you could realistically expect. And remember, if your first date is somewhere on Walking Street because she insists on it, there’s a very good chance it’s not going to end in the way you hope.
