A Ten Year Thai Marriage

I am a 31 year old man from somewhere in northern Europe. I have autism social anxiety and a personality disorder. My whole adult life I have struggled with depression. I don’t have any friends and I’ve never had any success with women.

One day in 2018 I made an impulsive decision to book a flight to Thailand. I wanted to distract myself from my life at home. I wanted to enjoy myself exploring a new country but most importantly I wanted to go with some bar girls and not feel as lonely.

There are professional ladies in my own country but going to them gave me a great deal of anxiety. They’re expensive and they’re cold. I had a few terrible experiences with rude women. From what I read online Thailand seemed like a better place.

I didn’t really see a reason to go to Pattaya so I just stayed in Bangkok. I booked a hotel in Soi 4.

Meeting Nan

On my first night I started to walk along Soi 4 towards Sukhumvit Road to see what I could find. I was planning to meet freelancers on the streets as I’m too autistic and anxious to enter bars. I stumbled upon a couple of freelancers outside Hooters Bar. I asked a random one to come with me to my hotel and she agreed.

Her name was Nan. She was a few years older than me and she was from Laos. I was very nervous. Will this be a robotic and depressing experience like it was in Europe?

Well she did treat me well. My fears were unnecessary. I was blown away. I came to Thailand hoping I could find a girlfriend experience and she absolutely delivered it. It felt real. I felt loved. She was very friendly and affectionate always smiling lovingly staring into my eyes passionate kissing. It was perfect.

I liked her so much that I booked her to my room every day. Every other woman was invisible to me.

The Downward Spiral

Then it was time for me to go home back to my old life. After a few months the downward spiral my mental health had been in for four years took a turn for the worse and I spent eight months in a mental institution.

When I got out I decided I’d go to Thailand and see Nan again. Nan introduced me to a few other girls who were also from Laos. One of them was called Salat. I had fun with my friends but most nights I still chose Nan.

Then I went home and I started working again. Nan asked me to send her some money. Initially I refused but she got quite angry and I was desperate for positive attention so I gave in. She would ask me for more money as time went on. I always gave it to her even though I knew she lied about the price of a new passport and the price of the dentist. She didn’t ask for very high amounts. I enjoyed talking with her and I didn’t want her to be angry.

The way I saw it was I was paying a beautiful woman to talk with me and feel less lonely. I got her through almost two years of COVID.

Return to Thailand September 2021

Eventually I was able to return to Thailand. I arrived in September 2021. There were few tourists in Bangkok and there were very few women available. I also had to quarantine for two weeks and there was still a curfew on.

I was very depressed more than I’d ever been before. I’d lost my job. My plan was to stay in Thailand indefinitely spend all my money on women and then kill myself when I ran out of money. Eventually I would stay in Thailand mongering for almost six months.

Unfortunately though Nan was stuck in Laos which was completely locked down at the time. I was sad that I had to wait and I didn’t know how long. In the meantime I took every freelancer back to my hotel that I found attractive including Nan’s best friend who was from Thailand. I also contacted Salat who was in Bangkok instead of Laos. I didn’t keep in touch with her during the pandemic but I wanted to contact her now.

At the beginning of COVID her father kicked her out of the house because there was no work in Laos. She fled to Bangkok where she had been staying and working illegally. Because of COVID she hadn’t worked as a freelancer anymore and she had no intention to do so again. But she agreed to meet me when I messaged her because she remembered me and I’m a good man well at least I think I am.

The Cancer Diagnosis

One day I was in my room with Salat. I pointed out that she had a strange skin tag in her private parts and I said maybe she should have it checked out by a doctor. But she wasn’t very worried and she said she didn’t have enough money. If she goes to a doctor for something that turned out to be nothing she’d have wasted money she could have spent on food or rent.

I suggested I would go with her and I would pay for the consultation. She agreed and the next day we went to the hospital. We had to wait a while for the result.

Nan Arrives And Leaves

Meanwhile Nan finally arrived in Bangkok. I had been waiting over two months for her. Before I went to Thailand I made an agreement with Nan. I helped her a lot during the past two years and in return she would stay with me in my Airbnb full time as a living girlfriend but exclusivity was not part of the agreement.

It started out great. I was very happy that she stayed with me. Of course I had to pay her and I paid her genuinely generously. But every day she demanded more and more money large amounts. She even told me I had to buy gold for her which I refused. The honeymoon period quickly ended and we were fighting over money.

I hadn’t seen Salat since Nan’s arrival. Ten days later Salat sent me a message. The test results were in. Apparently they had discovered cervical cancer. Salat was only 22 years old and she had cancer.

She must have caught HPV sometime before COVID when she still worked in Soi 4. She was poor. She was an illegal alien in Thailand. She hadn’t seen her family in almost two years. I knew she saw no other farangs but me. She had nobody else to help her but me. If I didn’t step up she would die.

I immediately told her I would pay for her treatment.

I told Nan about this including my promise I would pay for the treatment. She was not happy. She said I should not pay attention to other women in the first place which was not part of the agreement but more importantly Salat was probably lying and I should not give her any money.

Choosing to Help Salat

I knew for a fact that Salat wasn’t lying. I told Nan that she would die if I didn’t do anything. I would help her no matter what. I then went out to see Salat. I wanted to talk with her personally sleep with her and give her money.

After meeting with Salat I found my Airbnb half empty. Nan had packed all her things and left. I was devastated. I spent so much money on her and she left me after 10 days. Nan always said she loved me but I never believed her. In hindsight I think I might have hurt her feelings by going to see Salat that day.

I was alone once again. So I went back to Salat and random freelancers over the next few months. I would see Salat pretty regularly and I accompanied her to the hospital several times.

A New Purpose

I decided I wasn’t going to kill myself anymore because I had to take care of Salat. I was still quite depressed though and I temporarily lost my benefits because I was gone from home for so long and my mother was asking me some questions. I went back home against my will. I started therapy again and sent Salat money to treat her cancer.

After a few months Salat decided to get surgery instead of radiation therapy and she was cured. She was not allowed to be intimate with any men for at least six months on her doctor’s orders. She worked in a restaurant for a while but went back to freelancing eventually.

I returned to Thailand again in January this year. Salat and I agreed to see each other every day. I only stayed for a month this time but I had a great time.

Salat Becomes His Purpose

To tell you the truth Salat was just a random freelancer to me when I first took her to the hospital. But I grew quite attached to her after her cancer diagnosis and me taking care of her. Salat is now my favorite freelancer. She’s not like other girls. She has had many opportunities to lie to me and get more money out of me but she hasn’t. She is a good and honest girl who just so happens to be a freelancer who got cancer.

She doesn’t want to be my girlfriend but that’s okay. I’ll just go back to Thailand every year to spend time with her as a customer.

I didn’t pay to cure Salat’s cancer because I expected something in return. I just did it because it was the right thing to do.

Story Two A Love Story That Worked 10 Years and Counting

It was 2010 and I had been in and out of a few relationships over the past five years. I was now single and just enjoying life by myself. I lived in Australia with a good job that pays the bills and had no real worries about the future. I was 40 years old divorced eight years prior and had no real plans for the future other than work and to be promoted in my job.

One day a good friend called Steve called me and asked me if I would like to ride around Vietnam on motorbikes for a few weeks. He was an oil rig worker with lots of time and cash. I was into motorcycles at the time and jumped at the chance. I booked some time off work and planned the trip for around September 2010 with Steve.

A couple of months before we were due to start the Vietnam bike tour Steve called me to say his holiday had been cut short to a week but he was keen on going to Phuket with a couple of guys from the rig. I was keen to try anything as the holidays from work were already booked. I bought a ticket direct from Perth to Phuket.

First Impressions of Phuket

The day came and I arrived in Phuket. This was my first time in Thailand and I loved it from the start. The heat and humidity was a reminder of the years I had spent up in the Northern Territory working as a younger guy. I was warned about the taxi scams from the airport and was told to pay no more than 800 Baht to get to Patong. So I talked to a taxi driver and negotiated the fare. Luckily I had no problems getting to the small hotel near the southwestern end of Patong Beach.

I caught up with Steve and his friends and was handed a cold beer. We started talking and getting to know each other. Almost at once they asked me if I was going to get a girl. At this stage I had no idea about Thailand although I’d been to other Asian countries I kind of knew the deal.

The decision was made to go and sample the offerings of Patong. Steve’s friend decided to hang back for a while so Steve and I got a motorbike taxi each to Bangla Road at around 8 PM.

We sat down in a typical Thai beer bar ordered some drinks and sat there people watching. I was blown away by the sights the smells the bright lights and so many beautiful girls. Had I died and gone to heaven? I couldn’t believe how friendly the girls were. I had never had so much attention given to me. Steve told me this was men’s heaven.

It was a great night. We enjoyed the company of the ladies for lots of drinks but not much else happened on this night as I wanted to feel my way around first.

Meeting Quang

The second night I said to Steve ‘I want to have some fun and meet a beautiful bar girl.’ After dinner we went back to Bangla Road to find some company. Steve had already met a lady about 35 years old her name was Dao and she would come along with us on this quest. We proceeded to go from bar to bar drinking a lot of beer but not really having any luck.

At about midnight we were in yet another bar and I saw a girl that caught my eye. She was in her early twenties and so perfect. Just sitting at the bar looking hot. She was very petite not very tall. She had dark long hair and perfect skin. I asked Dao if she could introduce her to me. It turns out that this pretty girl called Quang was watching me too. So we introduced each other.

I really wanted to hang out with this beautiful girl. I didn’t care about any aerobics I just wanted to be in the company of this beautiful girl. It would make my night actually.

We talked and drank beer for a while and I found out her story. Quang was from Isaan has a two year old daughter escaped an abusive relationship with her daughter’s father and had come to Phuket to make money for her family and daughter.

I was captivated and immediately fell in love with this gentle girl. We went out to a few other bars and eventually called it quits after a few more hours. My bar bill was all paid up including a bar fine and Quang came back to my room. We slept in a drunken haze.

The Next Days

Quang woke me in the morning at 10 AM to tell me that she had to go back to her room and asked me if we could catch up after lunch. Could we? Oh yes please.

It was now day three of my seven days in Phuket and true to her word Quang met me at Patong Beach. We talked and had some drinks and really got on well. Quang’s English was quite good and she told me more about the bar scene and how she had been working in her bar for six months. She went on to tell me that she didn’t really enjoy all of the experiences from the bar and she was only in it for the money to take care of her family. I didn’t care of course and bar fined her for the rest of my stay.

I spent the next four days with her exclusively. Steve had to get back to the rig and we had a nice night together at a restaurant with Steve Dao Quang and myself.

Over the four days Quang and I drove around on a scooter and explored Phuket. We went to the Big Buddha different beaches with beer and food of course and just generally lazed around having fun. One of the highlights of our time together was having a barbecue on the beach at Karon with some of her beautiful girlfriends. I really didn’t want to leave this place.

Keeping in Touch

The time came for the holiday to end. Quang came with me to the airport in the cab. We exchanged numbers and that was that.

Over the next two months we started to email and text. I was surprised that she wanted to keep in touch but I was definitely willing to do so. The emails were frequent and evidently we made plans to see each other again this time in Bangkok in December.

When I arrived in Bangkok I was so nervous. I was wondering if this was a real deal and did she really want to meet me? Would she be there? Quang being the honest lovely girl she was did meet me at the airport. We spent another amazing week together in Bangkok with her showing me the sights best places to eat and drink and just being a good person to be with.

I found out her mother lived in Khon Kaen with her two sisters and a large family. Her dad had died some years before. Her mother was looking after her daughter in Khon Kaen.

Moving Forward

Over the next two years I went back to Phuket every three months and caught up with Quang. She was still working as a bar girl for six months after I met her but eventually I agreed to pay her and her family around 20000 Baht a month to stop working in the bar and go home to Khon Kaen.

About two years after our initial meeting I decided I wanted to be with this girl forever. I had some doubts about what I was doing. Could I take her away from her family and out of the country? Could I commit to this girl and her family? The answer was yes. I can make this happen.

I proposed to Quang on Phuket beach in the afternoon at about 5 PM in 2012. She said yes.

The Happy Ending

Over the next year she came to visit me on a tourist visa and saw how my life was in Oz. We were married in 2013 and she moved to Perth at the end of the year. Over the next few years her mother and daughter came to stay with us multiple times. We made plans to have our daughter come and live with us in Australia for good.

Now here in 2023 I’m still working in my job. Quang loves Australia and our daughter is with us and she’s attending a local high school. Quang has a successful business and has made a lot of Thai friends in Perth some of them are old school friends from Khon Kaen. The bar scene is a distant memory and we still laugh at some of the crazy things we did together in Thailand. We have future plans to go back to Thailand for good. I love the free and easy way the Thai people treat life and friends.

We have just celebrated our 10th anniversary.

I wanted to share this story to let people know that it’s not all doom and gloom with the beautiful Thai girls. There are genuine good girls working in the bars. I guess I got lucky first time.

My family and friends all love my wife and stepdaughter and to this day I can’t believe how lucky I am to have met this beautiful person and her loving family.