The Thai Girl That Married A Different Man

I’ve listened to a lot of stories from you all, so I figured it’s my turn to share mine.

I took my first ever solo trip and went to Thailand, I had booked a place in Phuket close to Patong beach.

Before the trip, I spent hours online, reading about what to do and what to avoid. I thought I was ready for anything.

My plan was to go there and have fun, I had no intentions of meeting anyone special or catching feelings for anyone.

Exploring Phuket’s Nightlife For The First Time

For the first two nights, I took it easy, there was so much going on that I wanted to try get a glimpse of it all.

I walked down the main street, found a bar, grabbed a few beers, and just soaked it all in.

I sat at the bar looking out on the strip, you see people from all walks of life on there.

Plenty of girls came up to talk, but I said no. I wasn’t ready to jump in yet—I wanted to watch and see how things worked first.

Meeting a Bargirl in Bangla Road

After the first 2 nights of taking it slow and seeing what this place had to offer, I decided it was time to plant some seeds.

On my third night, I walked into bar on Bangla road walking street and met a cute bargirl there.

She was small and cute, looked a little shy but spoke ok English, my type of girl.

We hit it off right away and had a great time drinking together. She could really hold her liquor, though by the end of the night, she was pretty drunk.

She kept up with me on every drink I had, I suppose its so they can get more lady drinks, but I don’t care, it was fun.

She wanted to come back to my hotel, but she never brought up money.

My First Barfine and Night With A Thai Girl

After about 7 to 10 drinks, we headed back to my hotel where we were a little worse for wear.

We ended up having a crazy night together—lots of fun, it was great.

The next morning, although she was a nice and cute girl, I wasn’t interested in seeing her again or spending more time with her.

I had now had a taste of what the nightlife has to offer and did not want to waste all my time with one girl.

I told her thanks for a great night, gave her 2,000 baht and she left.

This became my routine for the next ten days—lots of fun, new girls, and no strings attached.

That is exactly the kind of trip I wanted, but I can see why people fall in love with these girls, they are amazing.

Returning Home and Missing Thailand

When I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing the trip had been.

Coming home from Thailand, back to your boring life and job is the worst feeling ever that no doubt some of you know all too well.

I was already excited about going back, and started saving money straight away.

While I was in Thailand some of the girls asked for my Facebook, but I didn’t feel comfortable sharing it.

My account had pictures of my son and family.

I wasn’t ashamed of my trip, but I knew mixing those worlds might not go over well.

So, I created a new Facebook just for my friends in Thailand.

One of my biggest hobbies is photography, so I started adding Thai models and photographers to my new Facebook.

In just a month, I had almost 300 models and photographers from Thailand on my Facebook.

Meeting Mai Online

One day, I started chatting with a girl named Mai.

She was a part-time model and worked as an English-Thai translator for an online fashion magazine.

She was 26, beautiful, and smart. I was 46.

We would speak about random things, she would ask me about my country and I would ask about hers.

I got to learn so much about Thailand through Mai.

Before speaking to her, all I really knew about Thailand was the nightlife areas and what goes on in them places.

Thailand has so much to offer, but as many single men like me, we go to Thailand for one reason.

Falling In Love With A Thai Girl From Afar

After a few weeks of talking, something changed—we started to catch feelings for each other.

We would be constantly messaging every day and video call at least 2 or 3 times a week.

I tried not to get too attached, knowing I wouldn’t be able to go back to Thailand until the following December—seven months away.

Like I said, I had done a lot of research before going to Thailand the first time, so I knew it was a bad idea to fall in love with a girl there.

The difference is, as far as I knew, this girl worked a normal job and had nothing to do with the entertainment that goes on during the night there.

I didn’t think we could keep this connection alive online for 7 months until I go to Thailand again.

But as the months went by, we talked every single day for 1-2 hours on Facebook and WhatsApp.

Confessing Feelings

The more we talked, the stronger my feelings grew. She told me she was falling hard for me, and honestly, I felt the same way.

I had no reason to not believe her feelings, she did not ask me for anything and really had no reason to lie.

From the start, I made it clear I wasn’t going to send her any money. I told her, ‘I don’t really know you yet—you could be anyone, for all I know.’

Even though I was 99% sure that this was not a scam, I did not want to send any money, just to be on the safe side.

She said she understood and never asked for anything.

That being said, I did end up sending her 3,000 baht because I wanted her to treat herself to something nice.

I was not going to pay her bills or anything like that, but I wanted to show her that I cared so spoiling her a little bit I thought would be nice.

Learning About A Thai Girls Past

We talked about our past relationships, and she told me she had lived in France with a man before.

Things didn’t work out because his daughter didn’t accept her, and they argued a lot so she moved back to Thailand.

They were even planning to get married, but in the end, he backed out because he couldn’t afford to pay her parents. That’s when their relationship ended.

This all happened about six months before she met me.

The part about her not getting married because the man couldn’t afford to pay her parents should have been a red flag for me.

I do not know why I over looked the fact that if things did develop between me and her in the future, then I would need to pay her parents.

Finally Meeting My Online Thai Girl In Person

After months of talking, December finally came, and it was time to meet her in person.

I was nervous—it was all becoming real now. We’d talked a lot about how we might react when we met. I told her I didn’t expect anything from her right away and was happy to take things slow once we were in the same city.

When the plane landed in Bangkok, I could barely contain my excitement.

It felt like forever waiting to grab my suitcase and head to the arrival area to finally see her.

I spotted her right away, and she was even more stunning than in her pictures and on video chat.

I must have looked like a nervous sweaty mess after a long flight.

I wasn’t planning to hug her—thinking about cultural differences—but she pulled me in for a tight hug, and honestly, it felt amazing.

She said that she is glad to finally meet me and has waited a long time for this moment.

She is half my age, so she could have past as my daughter in public but this did not bother her, nor did it bother me.

Exploring Bangkok Together

We hopped into a taxi and headed to the apartment I had rented.

After dropping off my bags, we went out for dinner. We talked the whole time, and everything felt so natural, like we’d known each other for years.

Although we had been talking for months prior, we still had a lot to say to each other and the conversation never became stale.

We spent a week exploring Bangkok before heading to Pattaya, where she lived.

Bangkok is a great place but the humidity is crazy, I was dripping every time we went outside, and the traffic is absolutely horrendous, but all in all its a nice place.

Introducing Me to Her World In Thailand

Her job had offices in both Pattaya and Bangkok, which is why she was able to stay with me in Bangkok for a week.

One evening, she introduced me to her boss and coworkers and we all went for dinner.

During the day, while she worked from 9 AM to 6 PM, I spent my time exploring the city and checking out tourist spots on my own.

Temptation in Pattaya

I must say that in Pattaya, temptation is literally everywhere.

Even having a beer in the day just relaxing, there are girls coming up to you trying to make their move.

If I had not gone there to spend time with a specific girl, I could see myself spending a lot of money in that place.

It’s heaven for single men, but as I was trying to show this girl that I am a good guy, I had to refuse all the other girls and behave.

A Minor Argument Over Dinner

I have to say, I couldn’t have been happier. Since I had read up on Thai culture, we didn’t run into any real problems, except for one silly argument about where to eat dinner.

All day, I’d been talking about wanting a seafood buffet, and she told me she knew the perfect place.

But for some reason, we ended up at Festival Shopping Mall, and there was no seafood buffet.

When I showed my disappointment, she sulked and stopped talking to me.

Eventually, we found a restaurant that wasn’t great, but it did have a small seafood buffet.

Through all of this, she didn’t say a word.

Finally, I told her I’d lost my appetite and made it clear I wanted to leave. She followed behind, but still didn’t try to talk.

At that point, I was frustrated and thought, ‘Forget it.’ I started walking faster, not even bothering to check if she was still behind me.

Once we were outside, I ignored the taxis and began walking back to the hotel.

It was about a 4 or 5-kilometer walk, and after maybe 800 meters, I figured I should check on her. I stopped and looked back, but she wasn’t there.

After a minute or two, I jumped into a taxi. On the way back, I spotted her in another taxi.

We circled around a bit, and I ended up getting to the hotel first. She was really upset when she arrived.

She thought I had totally abandoned her. But honestly, this was the only time we had a real argument during the month I spent in Thailand.

Dreaming of a Future Together

We talked about the future, and she was all in.

She claimed that she wanted a long term relationship with me and to see where we would end up in the future as a couple.

She said she has been looking for love, but never found the right guy and then said she things im the one for her.

I really loved her, but I kept reminding myself to hold back. I did not want to rush too much and spoil things.

I knew that once I went back to Sweden, it would be months before I could see her again.

Helping Her Move to a Better Apartment

I did not want our relationship to be based around money, and even though she had a normal job, sometimes she would not be working and when she did, the money was not great.

I saw her apartment and it was a run down small place that I wouldn’t even dream of living in.

so I told her I wanted her to move somewhere better, and that I’d help pay for it.

We found a nice place in a newly built condo building on the 28th floor, with amazing views of the city.

It wasn’t the cheapest of places, but she got it for the Thai price so it wasn’t extremely expensive either.

In fact, my small basic apartment in Sweden cost more than this great condo in Thailand, its crazy.

She was really happy, and I felt good too, knowing she was living in a better area.

The Pain of Leaving Thailand

I felt terrible leaving for Sweden. I missed her so much, and we talked all the time. She missed me too, saying she didn’t want to eat or do anything. We were in love…

Days at work dragged by, day to day life became boring, I just did not feel happy there anymore.

I had fell in love with Thailand and fell completely in love with this girl, Thailand is where I needed to be.

The Sudden Change In Behavior Of A Thai Girl

Two weeks after I got back to Sweden, I woke up in the morning, expecting to see some sweet messages from her.

She would always leave me morning messages for when I wake up and it would always put a smile on my face.

But that morning, there were only two messages—just a quick ‘good morning’ and that she had to go to work soon.

This was out of character for her, she would always say she loves me on the text messages.

I replied with a ‘good morning,’ and she told me she was in a meeting and would reach out later.

I thought that maybe a lot of work has come up and she was really busy to contact me, so I understood and let it go.

She messaged me again later, saying she was heading to another job and would contact me when she could… That’s when I started to feel like something was off.

For the past 8 or 9 months, our chats had followed a pretty steady pattern, so I started feeling uneasy.

She didn’t message me again until after she finished work, and then she wrote: ‘baby will go back home now.’

Then she added, ‘My parents are here So I will take care of them, baby.’

That’s when my alarm bells really started ringing and I knew something was not right.

Her parents live in the north of Thailand, and there’s no way they would just fly down to see her without giving her a heads-up.

It became clear that she was not telling me the truth about what is going on and trying to hide whatever it is she is really doing.

She usually split her time between working in the Bangkok and Pattaya offices, so there’s no way they’d just show up like that, especially since she hadn’t mentioned anything about them visiting.

The Heartbreaking Breakup

She didn’t reply for the rest of the day, and I started getting really nervous.

I knew something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t figure out what.

When she still hadn’t said good night, I finally messaged her.

I told her I knew something was wrong and that I’d appreciate it if she just told me the truth, instead of making up some story that would insult my intelligence.

I did not get a reply and she did not read the message, so I left it and went to sleep hoping things will be back to normal the day after.

The next day, I woke up to no message.

At 11 AM, she finally wrote: ‘Hello baby, how are you?’

Before I could reply to that, she sent me another text saying “I didn’t mean to insult you yesterday, but I think it’s best if we stop our relationship. I know this will hurt… But I’m really sorry, I can’t be with you anymore. And I hope you find a good girl who can make you happy.”

I was in shock. My first reaction was anger, and I turned cold. I asked her, ‘What’s the reason?’

It was just so random, only a couple of days ago we were totally in love and less than a month ago was on vacation together.

Her reply was: I still love my ex, and I have my reasons, baby. I hope you’re not angry with me, bb. I know you’ll be hurt, but I’m no less hurt than you.’

Then she went on to say I was a nice guy and that it wasn’t about me, just more excuses.

Desperate for Answers

I was so angry, I just replied, ‘FINE! If that is what you want then so be it’

But after a few hours, all the questions started creeping in—Why? How? Who?

I felt so hurt and used, I flew half way around the world to see her, spent money on her, paid her rent, and this is how she repays me?

I messaged her, asking for an explanation, but all she said was: ‘I have my reasons. One day, you’ll understand.’

I was crushed. I didn’t know what to do or say. I cried and felt completely lost—everything we had dreamed about was shattered by just a few words.

I couldn’t believe that I was a middle aged man crying over some Thai girl I had met online and got the impression we could have a future.

I never thought after hearing all the stories that I would be in the same situation as them.

Trying to Move On

I tried to be strong and ignore her, so I removed her from both my Facebook accounts and deleted all the pictures of her.

I felt betrayed, angry, but also sad and empty.

I thought that if I delete her everywhere and remove all her pictures, it would be easier for me, turns out it did not help.

I reached out again, asking for an explanation. I told her I would do anything—just tell me what it was.

She told me she couldn’t change her mind. Even though I was hurt, she said she was hurting too, maybe even more.

I thought about that, but if she was hurting as well, then why was this happening?

She didn’t reply to that. All she said was:

‘I always put my family first… and I do my best.’

I had no idea what that meant, but I was so broken that I wrote her a goodbye message and then just cried for a while.

I was still in shock that this just came out of nowhere after us both planning a future together.

Being Blocked Everywhere

The next day, I tried sending her a message, but it was clear she had blocked me.

I started messaging her on other apps we’d used. At first, she read them, but then she blocked me on all of them one by one.

It was clear that her mind was made up and I don’t think I could convince her otherwise.

I tried Facebook next. Even though we weren’t friends anymore, we could still message, and since we’d already been talking, my messages showed up in her inbox.

She read them but never replied.

I tried one last time and told her that this would be my last message, I just said please explain to me what happened?

But as you probably guessed, that question and message went unanswered.

The Shocking Discovery on Valentine’s Day

After the longest 3 weeks of my life, I started to slowly get back to normal.

I felt like I had no more tears left for her, but I started thinking that maybe all wasn’t lost.

Stupidly I thought that when I would go back to Thailand in April, I’d find her and make her love me again.

On Valentine’s Day, I messaged her on Facebook: ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, I hope you’re happy.’

Of course, she didn’t respond.

Later that evening, I was lying in bed with my iPad, browsing Facebook. My ‘Asia’ account had grown a bit more since then so it took a while to keep up with everything.

Suddenly, as I was scrolling through the pictures, my heart stopped and I felt like ice was running through my veins…

There she was, in a photo taken by one of our mutual Facebook friends who is a photographer, with the caption: PRE WEDDING.

What the hell! She is getting married? It for sure did not take her long to push me out of her life and move on with someone else

The Wedding Photos and Final Realization

I was overwhelmed with emotions. I cried and cried for two hours, unable to stop. How could this happen? It had only been three weeks since she ended things with me. How could she be getting married to someone else?

I wrote to her on Facebook, telling her she could have at least warned me about this. She read it, but didn’t reply.

I don’t know why I thought that her giving me an explanation would make me feel better, maybe it would, maybe it wouldn’t, I don’t know.

After a few hours, I calmed down.

I became relaxed, tried to clear my head and start from scratch on what could have gone wrong or if I did anything wrong to make the relationship break.

Understanding The Truth Of What Went Wrong

I started thinking everything through, and it all started to make sense.

She’d told me that family comes first, so it seemed likely that her ex had found the money to pay her parents. Now, she was sacrificing me so that her parents could receive the money.

This is the only thing I could think of because she had previously told me that she did not marry her ex boyfriend because he could not afford to at the time.

I felt sorry for her, but I was also angry. Why didn’t she tell me about this? She should have given me the chance to step in and marry her.

I mean, I’m pretty sure her parents wouldn’t have cared where the money came from—me or him.

I did not want our relationship to be based on money, but I would have been willing to pay her parents to allow me to marry her.

Then I remembered something she’d said at the beginning—she told me they were only paper married.

She told me it wasn’t a real marriage, just for show, but now I realized I’d been a fool for not asking more about her past.

Accepting the End of Our Relationship

I believed everything she said, and I thought it would have been too intrusive me asking about her ex and her past, as that has nothing to do with me.

I really wish I had found out more now, maybe I would not have been in this mess if I had known.

She never mentioned this guy once in the 7 months we’d talked, so I had no idea he was still in her life.

On Tuesday, February 18, my Facebook feed was filled with pictures from her wedding ceremony.

I hate to say but she looked really beautiful and happy.

As angry, sad, disappointed and useless as I felt, I still wish her the best in life and hope she will be happy now and in the future.

Now she was married, and now she was forever out of my reach.