Thai Girlfriend Lifestyle and Relationship Red Flags

I often meet guys who have got Thai girlfriends and they don’t live here full time. They might come out here for two or three weeks, maybe a month, and then they go back to their own countries for two or three months, but they’re always with the same girl, and they class that girl as their girlfriend.

One of the statements that they say more than anything else is, “Oh, my girlfriend is not a working girl. She’s a decent girl because she doesn’t work in a bar.” So then my first question to them will be, “That’s great. Do you support her?” And they’ll say, “Well, no.” And I’ll say, “Okay, so what does she do for a living?” And that’s when they go quiet and I can see the cogs going inside the brain.

How to Understand a Thai Girlfriend’s Lifestyle and Relationship

So I’m going to give you some clues today. If she doesn’t tick any of these boxes, then all very well and good. But if you’re not that experienced and you think you’re with a nice Thai girl, some things might check the wrong tick box, as it were.

1. She’s Always Available Late at Night

She doesn’t have a job, but she’s up every night and free to drink. If a girl has a job, she’s going to have to get up early in the morning to go to that job. There could be the argument that she works in the evening, but then she wouldn’t be able to meet you. So if she’s always available, especially at night, that might arouse suspicion.

2. She Avoids Job Questions

You’re with your girl, you’ve been with her a couple of weeks, and you’re asking her questions you want to know about her life. She avoids these questions. She doesn’t want to talk about any jobs. Vague responses like, “I do online work” or “I help my friend in her shop.” She can’t be very specific about where she gets her money from. That’s a big red flag.

3. Instant Sweetness

You’ve met a Thai girl and within a very short period, she’s all over you, calling you “tee rak” or “baby” or “darling,” very touchy feely, always holding your hands. A regular Thai girl wouldn’t do that. They don’t show emotion in public that’s just a Thai thing. Unlike the West, it’s just not done in Thailand.

If you go to a tourist area like Khao San Road or Nana Plaza, you might see girls with foreigners hugging and kissing in the street, but it’s not the norm. So if you meet a girl and you consider her your girlfriend, and she’s very, very sweet from the word go, that’s another red flag.

4. Money Talk Starts Quickly

A regular Thai girl is not going to be asking you for money. Even if she did hint, it would be a long way down the line she needed some kind of help with bills and things. She certainly wouldn’t come out with things like, “Oh, my phone’s broke and my rent’s coming in and I don’t have money to pay the rent” the usual sort of stories. Regulars to my channel will know what I’m talking about.

5. Suspicious Social Media Accounts

If she’s locked her accounts, she likes to take lots of selfies by herself and not with you, always very dressed up, and she’s reluctant to let you have a look at her Facebook account. And she’s got a lot of foreign guys following her mainly foreign guys. That’s a big red flag.

Some freelancers will have more than one social media account of the same brand. She might have one account that she shows you with pictures of her hometown and her mother, and then another one which is locked that you can’t access the one where she contacts other men and sponsors. So if she’s very secretive about social media, that’s a big red flag.

6. She Often Disappears

You’ll meet her every other day, and she’ll say, “I can’t meet you this week. I’ve got to go back home because my mother’s sick.” The chances are one of her regular clients has come into town. He wants to take her off to the islands for a week she’s going to make more money in the short term from him than from you in the long term. So they often disappear. Another red flag.

7. She’s Secretive About Her Past and Where She Lives

She mentions living in Nana or Phuket, but she’s “visiting friends.” She’s very secretive about where she lives. She’ll never let you go to see where she lives. She’s always hanging around tourist areas. Another red flag.

8. She Knows Bars, Hotels, and Prices Very Well

Too well, actually. Short time rooms, things like that. A regular Thai girl wouldn’t know how much a short time room is. So if you’re with a girl and she’s very familiar with the bars and hotel prices, again, another red flag.

9. She Only Wants to Meet at Hotels or Your Place

She’s never interested in going out in public. Just wants to relax in private. She avoids being seen in restaurants and cafes anywhere she might be seen by other people. If she’s playing with lots of different guys, the last thing she wants is for somebody to spot her out on the street and ruin her chances with you long term.

10. Her English Is Good, But She’s Had No Formal Education

A lot of these girls leave school very young or have had very little education, yet their English is very, very good. Why? Because they’ve been hanging around tourist areas, speaking with tourists, going off with tourists to hotel rooms. Over the years, the English becomes very well spoken.

If you go into a regular Thai marketplace and try speaking English to most of the people, the majority will know only a few words. They won’t be able to speak very good English. But go into Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy, and a lot of the girls can sit down and have a real good conversation with you. It’s the same with freelancers.

11. She Has Multiple Phones or SIM Cards

This is a big, big giveaway. I remember a couple of years ago, I was sitting in a cafe next to Soi 15, and there was a girl probably about 25 with four mobile phones laid out on the table in front of her, constantly monitoring them.

Understanding the Relationship

The reason for that is she might be tied up with certain agencies, or she might have one number for one guy, another phone for another guy so she doesn’t get mixed up and say the wrong name. If your girlfriend has more than one phone maybe two or three phones that’s a big red flag. If you ask her why, she’ll probably say something like, “Oh, one’s for family and one’s for work,” even though she doesn’t work.

12. She Pressures You to Send Money Early On

Even if it’s subtle like saying, “You don’t care if you don’t help.” Any artificial pressure in the first few weeks is a massive red flag. Regular Thai girls will not ask you for money. They’ll either be working, have their own jobs, or they just won’t ask you. If a girl asks you for money from day one, there’s something wrong, and chances are she’s probably a freelancer.

13. She Avoids Introducing You to Her Friends and Family

You’ll never meet her friends, family, or even see her local neighborhood. If she’s legit, you’d at least hear some real stories or meet somebody eventually. In her eyes, you’re a customer and she’s stringing you along. She can’t take you to her neighborhood because the family would say, “Who is this guy? Is he your boyfriend?” and expect to see more of him. If you say, “Can we go to your room?” and she’s flat no every time, it’s very suspicious.

14. She’s Always in a Tourist Area

She’s never at home. Her home is always somewhere vague, far away, or she avoids the topic. She prefers hanging around Sukhumvit, Soi Cowboy, or Siam. That’s because it’s a freelancer’s hunting ground the Thermae coffee shop packed to the rafters with freelancers. If those are the only places she likes to hang out, then again, lots and lots of red flags.

15. She Constantly Takes Selfies But Never with You

Especially when she’s dressed up makeup on, hair done professionally taking selfies in front of nice cars, restaurants, and things. You want to be in a photograph with her, and she might say, “Maybe later,” or take one or two to appease you, but she’s not really that interested. The reason? She wants the latest glamour shots to put up wherever she advertises herself.

16. She Has a Fancy Lifestyle with No Job

You’re with this girl and you’re not supporting her. She’s not working. Yet she has the latest iPhone, designer bags, dressed real nice, a bit of gold on her wrist and a chain. Where’s she getting the money for this? You can’t have nice things if you don’t have money. Money has to come from somewhere.

17. She Sits in a Bar Alone

This is one that trips guys up. These girls are very clever. They know that in the West, a normal girl can go into a bar after work she could be a secretary, fancies a glass of wine, sit down, look at her phone and it’s normal. A girl can go and have a drink in a bar. But in Thailand, it’s a cultural thing a Thai girl will not do that.

Freelancers know this side of our culture. So what they’ll do is go into an upmarket bar (not five star, but a good Western restaurant/bar), get themselves a drink maybe a red wine and nurse that for several hours. A guy from the West goes into that bar, sees this pretty girl sitting alone with a glass of red wine, and asks if he can join her. In his mind, she’s a regular girl because he met her having a glass of wine in a bar by herself. But all the time it was pre planned.

If you see a girl alone in a bar here in Thailand, be suspicious. If you go on a first date with a regular Thai girl, she’ll normally turn up with somebody else a chaperone. That’s just how the culture is here. So for a girl to be alone in a bar is very unnormal.

18. Random Guys Say Hello to Her When She’s Out

I’ve been out with friends who have their regular so called Thai girlfriend with them, and we’ll be walking down Sukhumvit Road, and all of a sudden, a guy will smile at the girl. She’ll stop (normally the girl stops because the guys are a bit more subtle), and she’ll have a conversation with this guy. You’ll turn around and say, “Who is that?” And she’ll say something like, “He’s the boyfriend of my friend they invited me out to lunch one day, so I had to say hello.”

If you’re with a girl and she’s saying hello to different foreigners on the street, she’s definitely a freelancer, 100%.