Before Dating A Thai Girl You Need To Know These Red Flags

Plenty of people come to Thailand, meet a girl, and assume everything’s going to be smooth sailing from there. You either don’t spot the red flags or just choose to ignore them.

So here are some of the red flags I’ve noticed over the years of dating in Thailand. I’ve jotted down a few that I can remember, and I’ll run through them as quick as I can though I’ll spend a bit longer on a few of them. These aren’t in any special order; you should keep an eye out for all of them.

No. 1: She’s working or she is still working at a bar.

This one’s for the guys who came to Thailand, met a girl in a bar, and ended up making her their girlfriend.

Most of the time, it starts off fun enough. You have a few drinks with a girl in a bar, have a good laugh, and before you know it, you’re seeing her every night and thinking she’s different.

Everyone tells you not to date a bar girl you’ve heard the warnings, seen what happens to some of the guys but plenty of men still go for it. Loads of them, actually.

I’m not here to knock anyone, but let’s be honest, getting into a relationship with a bar girl is just setting yourself up for headaches.

Here’s what you see all the time: a guy gets serious with a bar girl and starts giving her a monthly allowance so she can quit the bar she will either head back home or get a “normal” job.

he feels proud of himself, like he’s doing the right thing. He thinks he’s helping her start fresh, showing her there’s a better way to live than the bar scene and thinking he’s starting a relationship.

But if you’ve done that and she’s still hanging around the bar scene every night while claiming she isn’t working, she’s almost definitely lying.

She’ll say she’s just catching up with friends or maybe she’s working the till now, that’s just an excuse. If she’s there night after night, she’s still working.

So if you’re paying your girlfriend to keep away from bar life but she keeps popping up there most nights, that’s a huge red flag.

No. 2: She asks for money too soon.

If you’ve only just started seeing a Thai girl and she’s already asking for cash whether you met her in a bar, online, or anywhere else that’s a major warning sign.

It usually starts small, and you think nothing of it. But once you send that first bit of money, she’ll remember how easy it was.

Sure, it’s normal for a foreign guy to help out his Thai girlfriend after being together a while, but if she’s bringing it up right off the bat, you’ve got to ask yourself if money is what she’s really after.

Covering dates or chipping in on shared bills when you live together that’s fair, that’s how most relationships go. But if she’s flat-out asking for gifts or cash early on, that’s not a good look.

When it starts that way, it usually doesn’t stop. Once she knows you’ll pay, it becomes part of the routine, and every week there’s a new reason she needs a bit more.

Later down the line, if you’re convinced she’s with you for the right reasons, then helping her out is up to you.

But at the start, be cautious. If she’s pressing you for money before you even know each other properly, take a step back and really think if that’s the kind of relationship you want.

No. 3: Buying gold.

If you’ve been with a girl for a while and she keeps asking for gold jewelry on every birthday, Christmas, or special occasion, be careful.

A lot of guys think it’s romantic or part of Thai culture to give gold, but for plenty of girls, it’s just another way to cash out later.

In Thailand, pawning gold is big business. That necklace you bought her? If things end, it’s heading straight to the pawn shop for quick cash.

You’ll see it happen all the time some guy spends a fortune on gold thinking it means something, then a week later she’s wearing something new and that chain’s long gone.

Hang around Pattaya long enough and you’ll notice that after straight-up money, gold is the next thing these girls go after from foreigners. To them, it’s basically just cash in another form.

So if she’s always pushing you for gold, ask yourself is this really a gift, or just her lining up her next payday?

No. 4: She expects you to pay for everything

As the guy, you’re expected to pick up the bill on dates. That’s pretty standard in Thailand, and really, it’s the same in a lot of places around the world. But that’s where it should stop, especially early on in the relationship.

What usually happens though is that after a few dates, some Thai girls start asking for help with extra stuff rent, phone bills, money for their family.

Even if you’ve got the cash and it’s no problem for you, I’d still say don’t do it, at least not yet.

You need to find out if she’s into you for real or just in it for the financial side. The best way to test it? Stick to paying for normal date stuff and nothing more, then see how she responds over time.

If she suddenly pulls away, switches up her attitude, or even ends things once she figures out you’re not going to bankroll her life, well, there’s your answer. She wasn’t into you, she was into what she could get out of you.

No. 5: She pressures you to buy property or invest in Thailand.

This is one of the biggest red flags you’ll ever come across. Most of the time it pops up later in the relationship, sometimes even after marriage, but I’ve seen it happen early too.

If your Thai girlfriend starts pushing you to buy land or property here, you need to be super cautious.

First off, you probably shouldn’t do it at all. But if you’re even considering it, you need to know the laws. As a foreigner, any land or house you buy has to go under her name. I’m no lawyer, but if you split, she keeps it all. The law won’t step in to save you.

That’s why I say don’t even go there, no matter how long you’ve been together. You might think you know her inside out, but this could have been her play from the start.

This scam has caught out loads of foreigners before and it’s still happening right now. This isn’t just a warning sign it’s a massive stop sign smacking you in the face.

My advice: never buy property in your girlfriend’s name. Just avoid it.

No. 6: She never wants to introduce you to her family.

This is a major red flag for a couple of reasons.

In Thailand, family is everything. If a girl’s genuinely into you, she’ll want you to meet her parents after a while. If she avoids it, it usually means one of two things:

either she doesn’t see the relationship going anywhere long-term, so why bother… or she’s already got a Thai boyfriend or husband back home and you’re the side guy.

This happens way more than most guys think. Plenty of Thai women keep a local boyfriend or husband while still dating foreigners in the city.

The crazy part is, a lot of the time the Thai boyfriend knows about you but if you’re sending her money, he won’t complain, because he’s getting a cut too.

So if months go by and there’s still no family intro, she’s either not serious or she’s hiding something big. Don’t overlook this sign.

No. 7: She moves too fast.

So you’ve gone on a few dates with a Thai girl, everything feels alright, but out of nowhere she’s speeding things up.

It might feel nice at first, but that rush is usually about locking you down before you notice she might not actually be the girl you want to be with.

Maybe she’s already dropping “I love you,” bringing up marriage, or asking you to move in together. That’s a red flag.

She could be trying to tie you down fast so you’re stuck footing the bill.

If things are genuinely good, then what’s the rush? There’s no reason to move that quick. If it happens, tell her to slow down. And if she won’t, then it’s better to just walk away.

No. 8: She’s always on her phone and being secretive.

If your Thai girlfriend is always on her phone messaging people but gets defensive when you ask who it is, that’s not a good sign. When someone hides their screen or acts shady about texts, it usually means they’ve got something to cover up.

she turns her phone over when it lights up, steps outside to take calls, or suddenly says it’s just a “friend.” That’s when you know something’s off.

It’s actually pretty common for some Thai girls to have a few foreign boyfriends at once. A lot of these guys send them money every month without even setting foot in Thailand.

Why would she give up that steady cash flow just because she started seeing you? Truth is, she probably won’t at least not right away.

Most of them keep things stringing along with the others until they’re sure you’re hooked or paying more than the rest.

So if she’s glued to her phone nonstop but won’t let you know what’s going on, there’s a strong chance she’s keeping other relationships alive in the background.

Don’t ignore this it usually means she’s not fully invested in you.

No. 9: She avoids questions about her job or her income.

If you’ve just started dating a girl in Thailand and still have no clue what she actually does for work, then it’s time to dig a little deeper.

If she’s being unclear about her job, there are a few possible reasons.

She might not even be working and instead has a bunch of foreign guys sending her money each month.

Sometimes they say they’ve got an online business or help their family, but there’s never any proof just stories that sound good enough to keep you guessing.

Or maybe she’s working in a bar or freelancing and doesn’t want you to know about it. Or she could just be planning to rely on you for support down the line. Whatever the case, if her job isn’t shady, then why hide it?

No. 10: She lives with her “brother”.

It might sound like a silly excuse, but you’d be surprised how often girls pull this one, especially around Pattaya.

most guys don’t question it at first. But that’s exactly what she’s counting on.

If your Thai girlfriend tells you she’s living with her “brother,” you should definitely be suspicious. Chances are, it’s actually her boyfriend.

Same deal as with the other warning signs he probably knows about you, but as long as you’re sending money, he’s fine playing along with the whole “brother” story because he’s getting his share.

If she claims she’s living with her brother, ask to see proof, like a family photo. If she dodges it or gets defensive, well, there’s your answer.

No. 11: Sponsors.

If your Thai girlfriend has had foreign boyfriends before you, there’s a chance she never fully cut them off especially if they’re still sending her money.

Here’s how it usually goes: some Thai girls keep a few long-distance boyfriends at once and asks each of them for monthly support.

Each guy thinks he’s the only one, sending money out because he thinks they are in love, not realizing he’s just part of her rotation.

You’d be surprised how many guys actually fall for this, sending cash to a girl they’ve never even met in person.

If she always seems to have money, is buying new stuff, but doesn’t appear to work much, then someone else is likely covering her expenses. Keep an eye outif something feels off, it usually is.

No. 12: She’s good at English.

Plenty of guys in Thailand stress over this too much, but since it comes up a lot, let’s cover it.

The reason some people see it as a red flag is simple: if a Thai girl speaks really good English, there’s a chance she is or used to be a bar girl.

That kind of practice doesn’t come from schools in Thailand, it comes from plenty of time chatting with foreigners night after night.

In that job, they talk with foreigners in English every night, so their language skills end up better than most Thai women.

But don’t jump straight to conclusions. I’ve met lots of well-educated Thai women with strong English who’ve never set foot in a bar job.

So if your girlfriend speaks English well, just ask where she picked it up. Her schooling or work background will tell you what you need to know.

No. 13: She has a lot of foreign friends on social media.

First thing you should do is check out her social media. If her friends list is loaded with foreign guys, chances are at least some of them believe they’re more than just “friends.” Even worse, a few might actually be sending her money from overseas.

And here’s where it ties in if she never posts about you two together, she’s probably keeping you hidden.

It’s not because she’s shy or private; it’s because she doesn’t want the other guys on her list to start asking questions.

That usually means she’s either got other relationships she doesn’t want to mess up, or she’s keeping her options open.

You can learn a lot from how she acts online what she posts, who comments, and how she replies says more than she ever will in person.

This is super common with bar girls, but honestly, it’s worth checking any Thai girl’s social media. Her friends list will tell you a lot.

No. 14: Multiple phones.

Plenty of girls, especially the ones working in tourist areas, will carry more than one phone. The reason is simple they want to keep their work life separate from their personal life. With customers, they’ll even build a completely different identity.

It’s also a handy way to hide things from whoever they’re seeing, switching phones depending on who’s calling or texting.

Usually, one of those phones is just for business some old, beat-up thing that barely works.

Then they’ll try to charm their new foreign boyfriend into upgrading it for them with a shiny new one.

If you see your girl with multiple phones, ask her straight, why. And no matter what excuse she comes up with, don’t go buying her a new phone.