Can You Save A Thai Girl From The Bar Life?
After spending the past month or so listening to all the stories out there that your viewers have kindly submitted, I thought it was time to write down my story about a Thai bar girl that has sent my mind a little crazy.
I met a bargirl pretty much the first night I was in Thailand, and broke every rule in the book.
Now I am a little torn about what to do next or if it’s even worth trying to take it further.
Let me get on with the story and hopefully there will be some comments of advice, support and of course laughter.
I have recently returned from Thailand where I spent 2 weeks in Phuket on a trip by myself.
Most of my friends are either married or settled down and can’t really just go on holiday when they want, so I had to make the decision to travel to Thailand on my own.
It was a great experience travelling solo, so if anyone is on the fence about travelling to Thailand alone, do it, it’s amazing.
The Bar Crawl Begins On The First Night In Phuket
I landed in Phuket with very little experience.
I had heard a lot of stories about the nightlife there, but that’s all I really knew about the country. I did not know what else to expect.
So there I was, setting out on my own and headed straight for Bangla Road.
It was still early in the evening and most of the bars were still setting up for the night ahead.
It did not take much time until I found a bar where I began chatting to a couple of beautiful bar girls.
My plan wasn’t to go hard this night, it was just to see what’s around and which area I should be going.
I wanted to have a couple of beers in the bar and then have a slow walk back to my hotel while stopping in a few bars on the way.
Meeting The Special Bargirl For The First Time
So after a beer and a short conversation with the 2 bargirls, I decided to leave and make my way back to the hotel.
After barhopping my way back to the hotel and becoming an expert at connect 4, I reached the last bar that was a stone throw away from my hotel.
It was a quite bar in terms of customers, but there was a lot of girls in there so I thought why not.
It turns out, I was actually the only customer in there and the second I walked in, I had a girl on each arm.
I sat down, got a beer for myself and the 2 girls that was with me.
I noticed that all the other girls were playing a dice game and sinking tequila shots.
The Shy Thai Girl Catches My Eye
It did not take long until they invited me over to their table to join in with their game.
I thought to myself that this is going to cost me a lot of money in shots, but thankfully every time we had shots it was the person losing that would be paying and not just me.
I was having a great time, lots of fun with these girls.
I know it’s their job, im not stupid in that sense, but still, it was very fun and enjoyable to be around these girls.
After about half an hour playing this game, that’s when my eyes met with hers.
It happened because as I was a little tipsy, when it was my turn to roll the dice, one of them came out my hand and dropped on the floor.
She picked it up and handed to me, and that’s actually the first time I had noticed her.
I had been too focused on the game and having fun to even notice her before.
Love At First Sight With A Bargirl
Her smile was amazing and had me instantly.
I asked her name she giggled and in a shy tone told me.
Her friend then interrupted and said that she had just arrived to Phuket and speaks very little English. She also mentioned that she is 22 years old.
After seeing her, all my attention was pretty much on her now, I stopped playing the game and tried to start a conversation with her with the little English that she knew.
One of her friends that spoke English joined us to help out a little.
She was so cute but incredibly shy, to be honest, that made her even more cute.
You could see all the other girls in the bar smiling at her because a customer was talking to her, her face turned into a tomato.
It felt like she had not had much attention from customers before, that’s the feeling I got anyway.
Already Head Over Heels For A Thai Girl On My First Night In Phuket
I was hooked on her, she was 100% my type and I needed to take her out the bar.
A few more rounds later, lots of shots and lady drinks, I asked if I could barfine her and take her back to my hotel.
This was the first and only time we had talked about money.
She agreed but it seemed like she was hesitant about it, though I think that was just because she was very shy.
Next to the hotel, she wanted us to get some beers, I think she needed a bit more dutch courage.
Once we got back to the hotel, we were just chatting for a good hour about how great the night had been and that it’s my first night here.
First Bargirl, First Barfine
She was very appreciative that I had barfined her and took an interest in her, she shown her appreciation in more ways than one that night.
Although she was shy in the bar, things changed that night when we were in the hotel.
I thought she was only coming for a short time but turns out she wanted to spend the night but said I only need to pay for the short time which I think was around 1500, not including the barfine and lady drinks I had bought.
That was a great first night in my books, beers, bars and girls. Perfect.
The next morning we had a small chat and some snacks from 7eleven.
She thanked me again for barfining her and treating her to a good night, I gave her the money. She went home and I headed out again.
That was my first barfine and fir time with a bargirl, I thought that would be the last time I see her, onto the next girl right? Well, that did not happen.
Breaking Rules To See Her Again
I had heard about the 3 day rule where you shouldn’t spend more than 3 days with the same girl, so I still had 2 left.
Later that day as it got closer to the evening and I was getting ready to head out, she came to my mind again and I could shake it.
I decided to go to her bar first to see her again, but was told she was not feeling well and went home sick.
This was disappointing as I really wanted to see her again and maybe go for round 2 later.
Bar Lies and Temptations
At the time, I did not think much of it, but now i think that the girls saying she was sick may have been using that as an excuse because she had already been barfined by a different guy? I don’t know.
Later, I found out that lies like these are normally told to customers, a bargirls friend will rarely tell you that your girl has gone with another customer.
Either way, I was already at the bar so might as well have a beer.
One of her friends joined me for a drink and she was very flirty with me, even though she knew I had came to see her friend.
I had read online that these girls, even though they are bargirls, they get very jealous of each other and if you take one and she sees you with a different girl she won’t go with you again.
Resisting Temptation With More Bargirls
Her friend was very attractive and I had to fight the urge to not make a move, but I did not want to mess it up with the first girl so I left after one beer and went on my solo bar crawl.
Before leaving, I asked the owner of the bar if they would have the football on the following Saturday, she said she will put it on for me if Im coming.
Perfect I said, I gave her a little tip and went on my way.
Meeting Other Girls
I had a lot of fun and met many nice girls, but I wasn’t really in the mood for taking any back, the thought of my first girl was still on my mind.
Yes, i was at the stage where I had a specific girl stuck in my head and all other girls I was not interested in.
So that night I decided I was not going to barfine any girl, I was just going to get drunk and check out some bars I have not been to before.
There are so many attractive girls in these bars and some of them are experts in knowing what to say to you to get drinks and more.
I gave into a few lady drinks, but that was it, no barfines.
It’s easier said than done not barfining anyone, but I managed to stay strong and pull through it.
The temptation is all over the place, and when one of these pro girls get talking to you, she can have you in her palm almost straight away.
I remember one girl I met that night, she was also a stunner but what got me was the way she talked to me.
She said all the right things in a teasing manner, deep down inside I was bursting to take her with me and I think if I had not met the first girl before, then I would of for sure taken this girl.
I took her LINE account in case it went pear shaped with my first girl, this one was a back up girl.
I never did end up messaging her.
Its strange saying this, but thankfully I went home alone.
Going Back Again To See A Bargirl
Saturday came and it was time to watch the football, as soon as I walked in I noticed her sat there looking at me with that smile that could light up a whole room.
She came over to me gave me a hug and asked how I had been.
I told her about what I had been up to since we last saw each other, I obviously left out the part where I met other bargirls buying them drinks, then I invited her to sit with me and watch the football together.
She clearly wasn’t interested in the football but she acted like she was, which I thought was cute.
After the football I told her I would be leaving to shower, get changed and freshen up a bit.
I asked if she wanted me to come back to the bar later to see her to which she happily agreed.
Later once I returned to the bar, we had a few more drinks and I barfined her again.
She always seemed a bit too shy when we would be in the bar, but when I took her out the bar she became a bit more relaxed with me.
It’s probably because her friends inside the bar are always looking, smiling and teasing.
When we leave the bar she is like a different person, she goes from a bargirl to like a girlfriend.
Or maybe that just how it feels when you date a bargirl, I don’t know.
It was still early in the evening, but I wanted to take her out of the bar and not go straight back to the hotel.
Spending Quality Time With A Holiday Thai Girlfriend
I wanted to spend some time with her just me and her, not getting too drunk and just being with each other.
We went for a walk a long the beach before finding a nice place to sit and relax with a drink and get to know each other more.
We did have a nice chat about each others life, but remember, her English was not great so we had to make use of google translate sometimes.
She told me that she has never had a farang boyfriend but had a Thai boyfriend for some years that is now and ex.
That is something I find hard to believe but whatever, it wasn’t important to me.
She told me that she did not like working in Thailand and jokingly asked me to take her with me when I leave to my country.
I know she was joking, but deep down she was hinting to me that she wants to come to my country.
After that, we went back to my hotel for some much awaited bedroom games.
The Morning After
The morning after we both woke up pretty early like 8 am, but as we were both still lazy we decided to stay in bed all morning having fun and chatting more.
I think that was the first time in Thailand that I actually wanted to stay in bed and wasn’t running out my room in excitement.
Later she left to get changed and I jumped in the shower before once again going out and exploring the bars.
It was now Sunday night and I had been to 5-6 bars already, but nothing really tickled my fancy.
Every girl I spoke to, I would just be comparing to my first girl, and none of them even came close.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some right stunners in the bars, but once you have a connection with a girl, nobody else really does it for you.
So before I knew it, I was on my way back to my first girls bar again.
I just was not interested in anything else anymore other than seeing this girl.
Falling For The Bar Girl Spell In Phuket
I think its safe to say, at this point, I was completely under her spell.
I walked in and once again, she was happy to see me and came straight over.
She gave me a hug and a kiss again while the other bar girls were watching and grinning at us.
I decided to barfine her shortly after arriving because I wanted to take her on a dinner date and not just get drunk in the bar.
I took her out to a nice restaurant where we had a dinner and drinks, and then had walk on the beach holding hands followed by a few more drinks.
We again spent the night and the following morning together in my hotel room.
We had a little chat that became a bit emotional with her telling me she really likes me and does not want me to leave.
I told her that we will keep in touch and I won’t just forget about her when I return home.
Unfortunately it was my last night in Thailand, so we decided to spend the day relaxing at the beach rather than drinking, because one of the girls at the bar was having her birthday there and had invited me to come that night.
Birthday Parties At The Bars Are On Another Level
They really did the bar up for her birthday, there were balloons, a buffet and even a Thai singer outside the entrance of the bar.
It was a great night, but I ended up getting very drunk, buying lady drinks and ringing the bell more times than I should have.
I spent way more money than I had planned, but it was worth it, everyone seemed to be having a great time, including my girl.
It was an expensive yet super fun night night.
I had planned to have an early night because my flight was at 9 AM the next day and had planned to leave my hotel around 6am, however we left the bar around 3am.
I again took her back to my hotel that night.
Earlier in that day, I had been out to buy her a bunch of flowers and a teddy bear as a little thank you for our time together, I laid them on the bed for when we got back to the hotel.
Things Get Emotional As The Departure Date Approaches
I know, hook line and sinker, silly loved up foreigners spoiling a bar girl.
I am sure I am not the first person to be completely loved up with a bargirl and spoiling her.
She was over the moon when she saw the flowers, she actually started crying into my chest she was that happy.
She told me that she loved me very much and nobody has ever done anything like that for her before.
According to her, im the one that is different from all the other farangs, not her being different from all the other bargirls.
That night we did not have any bedroom fun, we just stayed up most of the night in each others arms, I think I got about 30 minutes sleep that night.
She was crying a lot saying that she did not want me to leave, and that she is scared she will not see me again.
Even though I was very tired and needed to sleep before my flight, it was ok, because I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.
Time To Say Goodbye To The Holiday Bargirl Girlfriend
The following morning at 5am before I had to leave to the airport.
While getting packing and getting everything ready, she just sat on the edge of the bed not saying a word.
I could see that she was visibly upset, and so was I, but I just tried not to show too much emotion.
I walked her home and during the the whole walk she held my hand tightly never letting go, we were both pretty much in pieces at this point with either one of us wanting to show it.
The thought of leaving each other after a great time together was sinking in for us both.
I know many people will assume she was acting at this point, but I could see she was genuinely upset that I was leaving.
I must admit, that goodbye to her was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, it was as if there were a stone in my throat.
I could hardly get any words out to her, I just wanted to tell her how much she means to me and how much I have enjoyed my time with her.
She cried but I held back my tears, I did not want to show weakness even though I was bawling inside.
I gave her a kiss, stupidly told her that I love her and as I turned to walk away she grabbed me for another kiss.
I promised her that I will come back as soon as I can for her and we will spend more time together.
She had probably heard that line a million times before from others, but I meant it.
I am sure she is used to being told by other farangs that they will come back for her, take her to their country, support them, and all the other lies.
By the time I got back to the hotel, let’s just say, I was a complete wreck. I could not stop thinking about her and what the hell im going to do about this feeling.
Reflecting After Returning Home
I broke every rule in the book when it comes to meeting a bargirl and now I had to figure out what I was going to do next.
The flight back home was the longest flight on the planet, mind racing, no sleep and literally had no idea on my next move.
Since being back home, we message, video chat, send pictures and stay in touch as much as we can.
I get to talk to her most times after she has finished work, sometimes she does not reply and say she has fell asleep.
Its really obvious that she makes up excuses to why she can’t talk to me, fell asleep, not feeling well, with friends.
Dealing With Bargirl Lies and Trust Issues
It’s really annoying when she says stuff like that, because I know she is lying.
Its insulting because it feels like she thinks that she can trick me and I will believe anything that she tells me.
I have told her many times that I know what her job is, she does not need to hide it from me, I would much prefer if she was honest with me.
The more she tries to hide stuff, the easier it becomes not to trust her.
I guess that is just instinct from bar girls, they feel the need to lie about what they are up to even though everyone that has more than 2 brain cells knows exactly what they are doing.
This is probably something I would have to get used to if I want a relationship with this bargirl, they seem to lie a lot for no apparent reason.
We have recently discussed why she does this type of job and what she wants in the future.
Clearly she does this type of job because of the good money that can come along with it.
Granted, the activities of the job may not be the best, but according to a lot of bar girls, its hard to find a job paying as much as what a bargirl job could potentially pay.
She, like many other bargirls, does this job to provide and support her family back home.
Thinking About Supporting A Bargirl To Make A Relationship Work
I did ask her out of the blue that if I was able to help support her family, what would she want to do?
Although it has been on my mind to support her leaving the bar, I have no yet offered her any financial support nor has she asked me to help.
She replied that she would instantly stop working at the bar.
Wether she actually would stop working at the bar is a different story.
I heard that many bargirls that tell their farang boyfriend they have stopped working at the bar, secretly go to the bar while still taking the money from them.
She said her dream is to further her education and go to university and landing a good job.
She claims that she can’t go to university right now because she needs to support her family still and they are more concerned about money than anything else.
She said that she would like a future with me and come over to live with me, she’s very eager to get out of Thailand and leave that life behind.
I am not too sure about her coming over to my country, because I would be worried she will find someone else.
It would be a gold mine for her, a lot of farangs with more than what I have, all ready to snap her up.
Could I Make This Relationship A Reality Rather Than A Fantasy?
I wouldn’t be special in her eyes for long if she came to my country.
Plus, I like the thought of me moving out of my country, there is not much here for me and now ive had a taste of Thailand, the idea of moving there is not far from my mind.
But no need to look for advice about that yet, that is way too far into the future to be thinking. No point crossing that bridge yet.
I plan to go back in 3 months time for a month trip, spend it with her and see if the feelings are still the same after a whole month together.
We planned on staying in Pattaya for 2 weeks and then do some travelling around Thailand together for 2 weeks.
But I am thinking that maybe somewhere else other than Pattaya would be better for us to spend time together.
I don’t want to just get to know her while we are sat in a bar getting drunk, it will just feel like im seeing a bargirl again and paying for her time.
Which technically I am, but you get what I mean.
There is a lot of temptation in Pattaya not just for me but for her as well.
Comments And Advice Is Very Welcomed and Encouraged
At this point, im really looking for any fellow listeners for some advice here, wether or not I could quote on quote save this girl from the bar life?
Has anyone ever taken a girl out the bar and lived happily ever after recently? Like in the past few years
I have seen some submission on your channel where a relationship with a bar girl has turned out good, and even into marriage.
Though they met a lot of years ago when life and people were very different than they are now.
I should imagine it was a lot different back in the day without social media and the girls not being able to find customers fast just from their phone.
If I can afford it, is it worth taking the risk? Or shall I just walk away and move on?
Do you think she is being honest with me and I am the only person she is close to, or are there many other men she has on the go?
I know deep down that its best for me to just move on and put this experience down to a life lesson, but its easier said than done.
I really would love to be with her, and I honestly think she wants to be with me also, but being with her means im going have to dish out a bit of money to support her family while she attends university.
Would also like to hear from people that have been in a relationship with a bargirl that you met in the past 5 or 8 years, that worked out.
I will try to reply to any comments left on my story, and if needed I will submit a part 2.