20 Signs a Thai Bar Girl Might Genuinely Like You
She Wants to See You Without Spending Money
If she is asking to see you outside of the bar where money is not involved, then that is a good sign.
Most of them that pretend to like you will ask you to come and see them in the bar; that way, you are spending money and she is getting a cut of it.
But if she genuinely likes you, she will want to go out with you to eat, do stuff together, and spend time together without any money being exchanged.
Most girls won’t waste their time with you unless you are spending money or she is getting something from it.
So a big green flag here is if she is wanting to spend time with you without splashing cash; then you might just be onto something good here.
She Messages You First Without Asking for Anything
A lot of times, when you meet a girl on a night out or in a bar, she will really only text you if you text her first, or unless she is after something such as money.
If she is the one texting you first, asking how you are, seeing what you’re doing, or just says hi, then take that as a good sign.
You have to remember that these girls have a phone full of guys, so her taking the time out to contact you first and not be working on other guys, that’s a green flag.
When a girl really likes you, she’ll message just to say hi or see how your day’s going. Not every chat has to end with “can you help me?” or “I need money.”
It’s those random messages out of the blue like “miss you” or “what are you eating?” that show she’s thinking about you when there’s nothing in it for her.
She Tries to Learn About Your Life
What I mean by this is, if you have ever been in a bar in Thailand and you have been chatting to a bargirl in there, you will know that most things they want to know is what you do for a living, if you are single, and how much money you have.
They use different questions and methods, but they all lead to finding out that information from you.
Now, if you have been talking to a girl and she asks about your family, your job other than the salary of it, your hobbies, then she’s showing interest in you, not just the benefits of being with you.
Even better is that she is asking these questions while you have met up outside of the bar. It’s still good if she asks these questions in the bar, but in there, she might just be trying to be nice.
Small Details Show Genuine Interest
So meet up with her outside and see what questions she asks you. If she’s asking about your job, your hometown, your family, it means she wants to know who you are, not just what you can give her.
I had one girl who remembered my nephew’s name and asked about him weeks later. Little things like that will catch you off guard but in a good way.
Girls who are just in it for money rarely care about your story. But one who’s actually interested in your life, that’s someone who sees you as more than a walking ATM.
She Does Not Push You to Take Her Out Every Night
Like I said earlier, if she is just after your money, she will be asking you to come to the bar every night to see her; in turn, you will be buying her lady drinks, of which she gets a cut.
Other than going to the bar to see her, some of these girls will pressure you to go out clubbing or to expensive places.
A lot will also claim they want you to come out with her and her friends on a night out, but won’t tell you that you will be footing the bill for everyone.
A girl who likes you won’t mind staying in, watching a movie, or just having a quiet night.
Simple Time Together Can Be Meaningful
You’ll notice it when she’s perfectly fine staying in or doing something low key. No pressure to go to expensive bars or fancy rooftop places. She just wants to be with you.
Compare that to the ones who always want to go out to places where you are paying the bill.
If she’s okay with Netflix and street food instead of clubs and cocktails, you’ve probably found someone who genuinely likes your company.
If you are on holiday, then it’s probably you that wants to go out every night with her, but if she hints at just having a night in with you without spending money, then that’s another green flag.
She Gets Jealous in a Genuine Way
A lot of Thai bar girls can get extremely jealous of you with other girls, and that’s not because she likes you, but you are meant to be her ATM and nobody else’s.
If she gets a bit jealous or protective when other women are around but doesn’t flip out or cause drama, it might mean her feelings are real.
A girl who likes you might get a little jealous if you’re chatting with other women, but not in a crazy, over the top way.
Just that small bit of jealousy to show she actually cares because she likes you and doesn’t want you to be taken by someone else.
It’s different from the jealousy that comes from losing a financial source. Everyone gets a little jealous if you truly like someone, so keep an eye on this one.
She Does Not Constantly Check Her Phone
These girls live on their phone, and more times than not, they are either talking to guys around the world, previous customers, or looking on dating apps to hook in more guys.
Most girls, not just in Thailand, are addicted to their phone, constantly glued to it, so if you are with her and she’s not using her phone every second texting 10 other guys, then that’s a strong green flag she’s into you.
Not only that, but it shows that she enjoys your company and being around you.
I think we all can tell when we are talking to someone if they are really interested or just acting like they are; that phone of hers can show us all the proof we need.
She Introduces You to Her Real Friends
With this one, I don’t mean her friends in the bar; I mean her friends outside the bar, in her hometown, and people she’s known for years and years.
Any bar girl can introduce you to her bar friends; if she introduces you to them, it’s probably only because she wants you to buy them a drink.
Girls in the bars work together and help each other make money; don’t take this as a compliment that she shows you off in the bar, it’s just one of many of their tactics.
Now, if she brings you into her circle, especially friends who aren’t in the bar scene, it shows she wants to share her real life with you.
She Is Proud to Include You
It shows that she genuinely likes you and has a good feeling about you; otherwise, she wouldn’t go through the trouble of introducing you.
If she brings you around friends who aren’t in the nightlife scene, maybe girls she grew up with or old schoolmates, it means she’s showing you off, not hiding you. That’s a big step.
When a girl is proud to be with you and wants her real friends to know about you, she’s putting you in her actual life, not just her bar life. That says a lot about how she feels.
She Talks About a Future Beyond the Bar
One thing that most guys want when they meet a bargirl and things have been going good and they are both interested in a future together is her actually leaving the bar life.
That being said, some guys don’t actually mind, though I think if I was in that position, I for sure would not want her working the bar.
If she’s telling you she wants to leave that life behind and talks about jobs, learning English, or even moving to another place, it could be serious.
If she’s telling you she wants to quit, go back to school, or open a small business, that’s her thinking long term. And if she’s talking about that future with you in it, it’s even better.
A girl who’s just using you won’t talk much about the future; she’ll stay in the moment because that’s where the money is. But the ones who dream about a life beyond the bar are what you want to look out for.
Her Future Plans Need Real Action
However, with this one, you need to be careful because sometimes the girls will use this to their advantage.
They will meet a guy and hook him in; she will tell him all sorts about wanting to leave the bar and have a better life, normally with him.
The problem comes when she tells him she needs help leaving the bar while she’s looking for a new job, which normally means he’s got to pay her salary while she is out of work.
The shady part to this is that even though the guy is helping her financially, she never actually leaves the bar; she just acts like she has.
The guy in his own country will be none the wiser, thinking he’s paying to help his new girlfriend, but all that’s really happening is she is getting a big payday while still working her normal bar job.
So even though her talking about a future out of the bar is a green flag, you still need to look into it with caution, as that green flag can turn into a big red flag.
She Is Willing to Say No to Customers for You
If it’s early days or you have just gone back to your country after meeting her, she is more than likely going to be still working in the bar.
What she does at the bar is something that only you can deal with.
If she tells you that she will say no to customers and only goes for lady drinks, then that’s a good thing, especially if she is being honest about this.
Some Thai women do honestly go just for lady drinks and refuse customers, though it is rare and normally the girl is married or involved with something serious.
But like everything, what she tells you and what she does may be completely different.
Her Actions Matter More Than Promises
So yeah, if she says she will say no to customers, then that’s a good thing, but take it with a grain of salt, as you are not going to really know if you aren’t there.
When she starts turning down bar fines or leaving early just to be with you or video call you if you are at home, that’s money she’s walking away from because she’d rather be with you and prove to you she is being honest.
I saw a girl turn down bar fines because she had a farang boyfriend; that’s real money she’s walking away from. You don’t do that unless you really do like someone.
It is rare, but there are decent, honest girls out there.
She Is Honest About Her Past
A girl who is honest about her past, her work, and her life in general is normally going to be honest about everything else.
When a girl is open about her previous work, her exes, or what she’s done to get by, that kind of honesty shows she’s not putting on an act. She trusts you enough to tell the truth.
I don’t mean the generic lines that most say to try and get farangs to feel sorry for them and part with their cash, such as “I’m doing this work to support my family.”
I’m talking about going deep into their past and fully explaining everything, actually opening up to you, not for sympathy, but because she wants to be 100% honest with you.
It’s not always easy for them to be open about that stuff. So when she is, take it seriously. It often means she wants something more than just a holiday fling with you.
She Posts You on Social Media
This is a bigger green flag than it actually sounds; let me explain:
Bargirls nowadays use social media to keep in contact with all of their customers, and it’s a way to find new customers.
The last thing they want is for the guys on their social media accounts to know that they are in a relationship or have gotten close to another guy.
They may have multiple guys on their social media that think they are in a relationship with her and are financially supporting her each week by sending money.
Public Affection Can Reveal Her Intentions
If they realize she is just playing a game or already has a boyfriend, then they are going to stop with the support, something a girl doesn’t want to happen.
That’s why if she’s showing you off on social media by posting pictures of you two together or just posting about being in a relationship, then that shows she’s not scared of letting other guys know that she isn’t available.
That’s a big plus for you to know she might actually like you and is not playing games.
She Gets Hurt When You Doubt Her Intentions
If you accuse her of just wanting money and she genuinely gets upset, not defensively but because she is disappointed, it means your opinion matters to her.
If she really is just after money and you accuse her of that, she will think that you have figured her out, and she’s just going to move onto the next customer, blocking you or getting you out of her life.
But if you accuse her of being after your money and she gets genuinely upset but still sticks around, then it shows that money is not what she is after.
That kind of reaction can’t be faked easily. A bar girl who’s playing a game might just laugh it off. But one who really likes you might tear up or pull away because it actually affects her.
If she is willing to prove to you that you are wrong about her wanting money, then that is a great green flag to look out for.
She Quits the Bar and Follows Through
This one ties into what I previously said earlier; a lot of girls will tell you the “I’m quitting the bar” lie just to get extra money from their apparent boyfriend while not actually quitting the bar.
Words are easy. But when she actually follows through, leaves the bar, finds another job, changes her lifestyle, it’s probably because you’ve become more than just a customer.
The fact that she is willing to change while at the same time getting a job that probably pays way less than what she would get at the bar obviously means she cares about you.
Anyone can say they’ll quit. But when she actually does do what she said and you have got proof of that, then that’s massive.
It’s the clearest sign of all. If she walks away from easy money because she wants a future with you, she’s serious.
She Does Not Ask You for Help with Sick Family
One thing that never gets old with keeping in contact with a bargirl is the emergency excuses that come later for why they need a little help from you financially.
I’m sure that any of you that have kept in contact with a bargirl after leaving have heard about a sick child needing help with medical bills, a brother has been in a bike accident, or something along those lines.
99% of the time it’s a lie and they are just trying to get money from you; most guys understand this, but unfortunately, some guys fall for it.
So if you are with a girl and she isn’t constantly bringing up a new reason for why she needs money every other week, then that’s a good sign.
It’s showing that she isn’t trying to test how much money she can get from you; it shows that she doesn’t just look at you as an ATM, and it shows she might just be serious about you.
Take this as a green flag, but 9 out of 10 bar girls that are just after money will use these lines.
She Introduces You to Her Parents
This is another one that could be a red flag and not a green flag, one that only you can decide.
Even if a girl is playing you, she can go to the lengths of introducing you to her parents, especially if you are supporting them, which a lot of men are.
They do this to act like they are interested in their guy; like, why would she introduce you to her family if she isn’t serious? That is what the guy would think.
But most of the time, it’s all down to money; she has probably taken several farangs to meet her parents and they are probably used to her bringing one home now.
However, if your girl takes you to meet her parents and no money is involved and her family makes a fuss of you, then you are probably the first one she has taken home.
Again, it could be a sympathy tactic, taking you to see how they live in hopes that you feel sorry for them, so still be on guard when visiting.
She Tries to Hide You from Her Bar Mates
One thing she will try and do if she really likes you is keep you away from her bar mates, and probably try to keep you away from the bar scene altogether.
If she doesn’t want the other girls seeing you or hitting you up, it means she’s protective of you and probably doesn’t want anyone interfering.
She knows too well how these girls work and what they will do to get your attention; they are not going to care if you are already seeing someone, they are still going to try their luck with you.
If she’s protective of you and doesn’t want other girls from the bar flirting with you or even knowing about you, it means she’s not just thinking of you as another customer.
When a girl really likes you, she wants to keep you to herself, not because she’s jealous, but because she values what you two have and doesn’t want the bar gossip ruining it.
Believe it or not, even though these girls are working, there is a lot of drama that happens in the bar when it comes to customers and boyfriends.
She Does Not Rush a Visa
In my opinion, when a bargirl is quick to talk about a visa to your country, that is a huge red flag, maybe the biggest one out there.
For some, escaping Thailand and moving to a first world country in the west is their main objective, and they will even do it by marrying or obtaining a visa through a guy that they really don’t care about.
They will do all the work making him fall for her and make him believe that if she moves to his country, they will live happily ever after.
And they do live happily… that is until she gets a permanent visa to that country and is allowed to live there full time; not long after that, she will be out of the door.
A Genuine Relationship Takes Its Time
New country, new life, more money; now she has gotten everything she ever wanted and it’s all thanks to a naive, lovestruck man that believed everything she fed him.
So if you have met a bar girl and she’s quick to talk about a visa, I’d be out the door and not looking back.
But if she is not talking about a visa and you’ve been with her a while, then you know that she is not with you just to use you to escape Thailand.
Yeah, maybe in the future if things get serious you can get her a visa to visit you, but in the early days, at least a year or so, a visa shouldn’t even be coming up in the conversation.
She Stays in Contact After You Leave Thailand
This is where most of the time things come to an end with a bargirl, and you are left with just the memory of a holiday girlfriend.
This will normally happen when no money is involved and that was the whole reason she was with you in the first place.
If money is all she is after, then she’s not going to keep wasting her time by messaging you and calling you while you are back in your own country; she has other customers to work on who are actually supporting her.
Now if you do keep in contact with her and she is messaging you first, calling you when you are both free, and keeping you updated with her life and future plans, then that’s a good sign.
It’s an even better sign if she isn’t constantly asking you for money.
You have to remember there are new tourists going in and out of Thailand every day, more new faces walking into her bar every night; if she is taking the time to keep in contact with you while you are not there, consider yourself lucky.
Do Not Lie to Yourself About Her Intentions
Now as I said, and it’s not really a secret, a relationship with a bargirl rarely works out the way you hope, and most of the time they are just working.
Don’t just convince yourself that she is different from the rest; you actually have to see proof and not rush things. Don’t lie to yourself even if you really do like her.
Many guys fall victim to the tricks and traps that the girls play because they think that theirs is different.
Even if yours ticks all the boxes from the list I just said, you still need to be careful; there is a thing called the long game where the girl will not try any tricks until further into the relationship when you are fully committed.
So be careful, take it slow, and know deep down that the chances she wants more than a customer is slim.
So with that said, have fun along the way and don’t take Thailand too seriously!
