Falling For A Pattaya Girl Can Get Complicated

All my life I have found it very difficult to trust people, even if there is no reason to not trust them.

I tend to overthink things, which obviously has not helped with past relationships, causing problems over nothing.

My specific job that I do for a living has made me not very trusting of others and tend to overanalyze people’s intentions.

Before heading to Thailand I tried to read and watch as many stories and articles as I could about things to watch out for.

I had previously travelled around Europe so I knew how some of the scams worked, however I had never been to Asia.

Anyway, let me get on with my story, or in better words, my problem.

First Time In Pattaya No Interest In Dating

A few months ago in March, I travelled to Thailand for the first time, and headed to Pattaya.

My plan was to go there and just have a lot of fun, and enjoy myself.

I had absolutely zero interest or desire to meet a girl or get any type of attachment. It was strictly going to be a fun holiday.

Meeting The Waitress In A Pattaya Bar

One night I went into a bar on Soi Boomerang and was seated by this stunning waitress.

She looked perfect in every sense, bubbly, fun to talk to, and actually looked like she enjoys her job.

I got a drink and sat there. At this point, none of the other people in the bar interested me. I was too amazed by the waitress.

I watched her as she was working, running around the bar, taking orders, and having a laugh with the girls and customers.

I did not realise straight away, but after a while I noticed that I was completely focused on her and the performers in the bar could see that.

One of the girls even called her and pointed to me, showing her that I keep staring at her.

The waitress just looked at me, smiled, and pointed toward the other girls working there as if to say “Talk to one of them.”

I just smiled and nodded, but after a few seconds I went back to staring at her. I was just totally captivated by her.

As the night went on, she kept smiling at me and stroking my hand as she walked by. She was teasing me big time.

Then out of nowhere she came over and said she wished she could leave work early and spend more time with me.

I cleaned up exactly what she said to me for the sake of the story.

I knew then that I was completely under her spell and that if she wanted to, she could have completely won me over right there.

I decided I didn’t want her to leave work early that night, but told her I would return the next night to see her.

The Birthday Night And First Connection

The next night came and I returned to the bar to see her. It turns out it was her birthday the next day and she wanted to party tonight through to her birthday.

I asked if she could leave work early so we could go out for her birthday, but she said she wanted to work because birthdays are the best nights for the girls working there to earn a lot of tips.

If you have never been to Thailand before, when it’s someone’s birthday in a bar like that, friends and customers often attach money to a ribbon necklace as a fun tradition.

Some of them make a ton of money, and I’m pretty sure a lot of the girls have multiple birthdays a year. I know I would.

Before she was pulled away by customers to get back to work, she told me not to drink much because tonight she wanted to introduce me to her friends and take me to the beach the next day.

Off she went to serve customers, but would always return to me when she had nothing to do. She sat and drank with me until her friends arrived at the bar.

Once her friends arrived, she asked if I’d like to join them upstairs for drinks and a little birthday party, away from everything that was happening in the bar.

I happily accepted and she took me upstairs and introduced me to all of her friends, but she quickly left as she had to go back to work.

Although it was a bit strange to go upstairs for drinks in that bar, it was actually nice to meet a different type of Thai people.

She kept coming back upstairs for a drink every chance she got and then would go back to work, so I just said, “Do you want to finish work early so you can stay here and drink with your friends?”

Her necklace thing was filled with money and she felt like she did not need to work anymore, so she agreed to finish work early and joined us upstairs.

Later, a couple of the guys that were with us got drunk and started getting loud and aggressive with each other. The girl took me back downstairs and said they were too drunk and will probably cause trouble with me.

I am a lover not a fighter, so I am pretty happy she got me out of that situation.

A Night At The Thai Bar

After we left the bar we went to a Thai bar where I was the only farang there.

If you ever get the chance to go to a Thai bar with a girl when you’re in Thailand, I highly recommend it.

Her friends only stayed for another hour or so before they went on their way and left me and my girl alone.

She ordered a ton of food and had me sampling it all. She even bought me a rose from the vendor that walks around selling them.

Pretty unusual for a guy to have a rose bought for them, but I accepted it and we continued having a great night chatting and having fun.

She then asked if I would like it if she came back to my hotel with me. Of course, I said yes.

I paid for the food, drinks, and everything else, including her friends’ bill that they had left, and we headed back to my hotel.

She stayed the night at my place but she pretty much fell asleep straight away, so we both just went to sleep.

The next morning she stayed with me and we ordered breakfast in bed while she waited for her friends to text her about going to the beach.

She left to go back to her place, get a change of clothes, and then return with her friends to pick me up before we all head out to the beach.

Just to let the viewers know, after she spent the night, she did not ask for anything.

Although I paid for all her drinks and food, she never asked me for any any extra money or gifts.

This would go on for the next week.

She would go to work and then we would meet once she finished, have a drink or some food, and then go back to my hotel where we would spend the night.

Throughout all this time, she never asked me for anything.

I even tried to give her some money and offered to take her shopping on her day off, but she refused and would not let me buy her anything.

Even if we were out and about and saw something she liked, I would offer to buy it for her and she would flat out refuse saying, “It’s too expensive” or something like that, even though it wasn’t expensive.

Things she wanted such as clothes, makeup, and whatnot, she would buy them herself. Even the taxis to and from my hotel she would pay.

A Sign Of Honesty From The Pattaya Girl

One night while we were out drinking and eating, we headed back to my hotel only to realise I had lost my phone somewhere.

I told her that I probably lost it at the bar we had been eating at before we went bar hopping.

Before I knew it, she flew out the room saying she will be back soon.

About 30 minutes later she returned on a bike taxi with a huge smile, holding up my phone.

It seems the bar had found my phone and instead of being shady and keeping it, they put it behind the bar waiting for me to return to get it.

See, not all Thai people are bad people.

I think it should go without saying that I ended up completely falling for her.

I know, I know newbie error, falling right into the trap but it’s true, I fell for her.

Everything about her I loved. She was so bubbly and full of life, didn’t ask me for anything, always putting me first, and all in all just a great person to be around.

The only time I noticed her mood change was when I had about 2 days left before leaving. She got a little sad and moody, but I would change the subject and talk about the future, dreams, and goals that she had.

She had told me that her goal was to be a diving instructor and had been taking diving lessons from a shop in Pattaya.

As I mentioned earlier, I always overanalyze people and their intentions, so I secretly went to the shop and asked if she was actually taking lessons.

It turns out she was, but to make it look like I wasn’t spying on her, I told the shop that I wanted to surprise her by paying for lessons and not to tell her I had been down there asking about her.

For the remaining time we had together, she took care of me in every way.

Taking me to restaurants and places that I would never have known about if I had never met her.

I was not a big fan of Thai food when I first got to Thailand, but after the places she took me to eat, I quickly fell in love with it.

She even came to Bangkok with me to the airport.

I felt like she was very genuine, honest, and loyal. She put my overthinking mind at rest and I completely fell in love with her. I think she fell in love with me also.

Long Distance Relationship With A Thai Girl Begins

However, here is where the problems started:

Once I got home, we would talk every chance we got, the soppy love talk about missing each other and whatnot.

We talk and video chat before she goes to work and if she is not busy she will go outside and call me as well.

Even after work, she will drop me a message telling me she’s home and sends me a selfie of her in bed.

This is good for two reasons:

One, I know she is thinking about me when she gets home from work and wants to let me know she is OK.

And two, when she sends me a selfie, I can see she’s home and relaxing after work.

This went on for some time and things were great between us. For a long-distance thing, things were as good as they could be.

The Facebook Post That Triggered My Doubts

But one night I was scrolling through her Facebook page and saw someone had posted on her profile.

It was from a youngish guy, looked around my age and, of course, a foreigner.

This was about 2 weeks before I had met her. It said something like, “I’ve sent the money to help you so you don’t have to work anymore.”

She replied to him, “Do you believe in true love?” And this is the exact same question that she had asked me the second day that I had met her.

I saw that her friends the same ones that she had introduced me to liked the post and left love heart emojis.

So it leads me to believe that they have all met before, maybe in the same way I met them.

Now I am back into the overthinking stage and questioning everything.

Obviously, this message was before she had met me, and technically anything that went on before I met her has nothing to do with me.

However, she had told me when we were together that she has been single a long time, does not spend time with just any customer, and most of the time she just works her shift as a waitress.

I can’t help but question myself: is she still in contact with this guy since meeting me, and how many other guys does she have like this?

I know that she is still working at the club, and that is fine with me because she is only a waitress and it’s not like I send her a huge amount of money just a few thousand here and there to help.

She told me that when customers ask her to spend time with them after work, she will turn them down because she loves me and only wants to be with me.

I kind of do believe her that she wants to be with me, but a lot of guys have also believed everything a Pattaya girl has said and that doesn’t end well most of the time.

I really do want to trust her because I have never met anyone like her, and I do honestly think I am in love with her. She’s completely the girl I want, the girl of my dreams.

Even in just a small amount of time together, she had made a big impact on my life.

Planning Her Visit: Visa Applications And Costs

We have been talking about her getting a visa to come and visit me in my country for 3 months.

This would be absolutely perfect for me, because I will still be able to work and then come home to her.

If she liked it enough and adapted to life here, then we could look at her potentially moving here for good.

She went to a visa agency in Pattaya where they told her it would take 6 months and would cost around 10,000 baht.

10,000 baht was just a small price to pay to see her again, something which I was OK with.

I told her that was fine with me and I told her to start the process.

She had to give the agency my information, pictures of me and her together, our chat logs pretty much anything she could get for proof that we are together.

I soon learned it would be a lot more than 10,000 baht for the whole thing.

10,000 was just for the agency to start the process, kind of like a deposit. So if we broke up now, I would not see that 10,000 again.

She said the agency told her that they needed proof of contact for 6 months and that I should deposit 5,000 a month into her bank to show that I am willing and able to support her while she is here.

It might sound like a scam at first, but when you think about it, it actually makes sense and sounds legit.

They are obviously not going to give her a visa if she has no way of supporting herself.

I am working and have savings in my bank, so I can easily support her while she is here.

It’s only been a few months since I have been back home and all I can think about is her and being with her.

It’s been driving me crazy that I can’t see her and the only communication we can have is online.

I have even been reading some long-distance relationship success stories, but none of them mention how hard it is at the start being away from your girlfriend.

I have just been working a lot to try and keep my mind occupied from thinking about her, but it’s not working that well.

I have been sending her money to put in the bank for the agency, and also sent her small amounts of money each week just to help out, but not a big amount.

I have constantly been researching how we can be together from bringing her to my country, getting married, moving to her country, and whatever else I can find.

Although we have not spoken about getting married and I’m not a fan of that idea, I had just been looking into it more out of curiosity than anything else.

I had been basically going over all the possible options for us to be together.

But when I saw that Facebook post, it really hit me in the gut and took me back. I’m hoping that she is no longer in contact with him or any other guys at an intimate level.

Of course, she is allowed guy friends. I’m not the possessive type of person, but obviously I want them to just be friends and nothing more.

I don’t want to bring it up and ask her because I don’t want to ruin what we have going right now, but if she comes to my country I do plan on bringing it up in conversation.

I just need to know that she is being honest and I am the only guy she wants to be with.

It would really be upsetting if she was doing this to many other different people at the same time.

I know people working in busy tourist bars meet many different people every night, and to them it’s a job trying to earn as much money as possible from tourists.

But I hate to say it, mine is different. It’s hard to explain. Just being around her you can tell that she is not a girl chasing money.

She’s chasing a good future rather than fast money. Again, it’s hard to explain.

Anyway. No risk, no reward, right?

I truly believe that she is the woman for me and I’m really hoping that I am the guy for her.

I know that there are rules when going to Pattaya, and one of the main rules people talk about is not falling in love while on holiday.

I am sure I will get a lot of laughs, but technically she worked as a waitress, though she works as a waitress in a nightlife bar.

She is obviously not after money from me, so I can’t really see why she would string me along if she did not really want to be with me.

She knows how I feel about her, and knows that I want to be with her. she could easily take advantage of me financially while I am in this vulnerable state.

The only money she has asked me for is what the visa agency has been asking for. Other than that, she hasn’t asked me for a single dime.

I think the only money I ever spent on her was from me convincing her to allow me to buy her some scuba diving gear.

At least buying her something rather than giving her the money I know where it is going and it’s going to good use.

Even the money I send to her weekly is because I want to help out. She does not ask for it.

I even offered to pay the 30,000 dive master certificate for her but she said it was too expensive and she wanted to earn it.

I am a workaholic myself, so I respect her wanting to pay her own way.

I have the contact for the scuba diving school so I might buy the 30,000 course for her as a surprise if things develop between us.

I forgot to mention at the start of the story our ages. I am 32 and she is 28. So it’s not a huge age gap.

We are both at a mature age where if we wanted to, we could make a relationship work.

Seeking Advice: Am I Making A Mistake?

So that’s it. Do you think I am wasting my time chasing this dream girl, or do you think it’s possible to make it a reality and that she is actually being honest and truthful to me?

I do believe that she is being truthful to me as she doesn’t seem like a gold digger. She seems genuine. She could easily go find a different guy but she chooses to wait for me.

She has been giving off all the good signals and seems like she really does want to be with me. Am I going to be just another farang that falls for a Pattaya girl and loses everything?

Do you think that when guys say “This girl is different,” it can actually be true?

Only time will tell.

Any thoughts and advice would be great. Thanks for letting me share my dilemma with your audience.