Heavens Above Love Story in Pattaya

Meeting in Heavens Above

I met this girl in Heavens Above in Pattaya in August last year while I was there on a holiday. She did the thing they all do when they make eye contact with you she pointed to herself, asking me to choose her to come and sit with me. After she stopped dancing on the stage, I signalled for her to come over. She smiled at me and came plodding over.

We had a few drinks, laughed and flirted a lot. Her friends came to join us too. She claimed she really liked me and my personality. When the night was over, I paid the bar and we went back to my hotel. I long-timed for the next 5 days with her staying with me.

On the last day, I told her I would be leaving tomorrow to go back home. Surprisingly, she burst into tears. I don’t mean a little cry this girl was absolutely bawling, which also made me a little sad and emotional. We had a great 5 days together, and it’s money well spent in my eyes, but I did not realise she had feelings like this, and I really did not expect her to get sad over me leaving.

She gave me her LINE and made me promise to keep in touch with her and message her every chance I get. She also told me she loved me. I did not say it back I did not want to seem weak I just hugged her tightly. Of course, I said I’ll keep in contact, because even if I wasn’t showing much emotion, deep down inside I did develop some feelings and wanted to keep in contact.

The next day, she got a taxi with me to Bangkok Airport and waited with me until it was time for me to go through immigration. As I gave her one last hug and a kiss, she told me once again that she loves me and wants me to come back to her as soon as I can.

The Long Distance Begins

After I got through immigration and was sat at the gate waiting to board my flight, I couldn’t resist the urge to message her, and I just said, “I love you too.” I know, showing my emotions was stupid at the time, but I just wanted her to know that I felt the same. A part of me sent it because I really did like her and we had a good time together. Another part of me sent it because I kind of hoped that if she knew I felt the same, then she wouldn’t meet anyone else. Was that wishful thinking?

I was only home for a couple of days until she told me she wanted to be my girlfriend and be in a relationship with me. I couldn’t believe it, but I still said yes because I felt she was being genuine. By the way, I am 30 years old I’m not old, fat, or rich.

We would end up talking for hours every day. I worked from home, so I could be on FaceTime with her while I’m working. She would tell me how much she loved me, missed me, and wanted to spend her life with me. She claims that after I left, she hated her work and did not want to go. She would only go to dance on the stage, but if a customer wanted her to join them for drinks, she would decline, saying she has a boyfriend.

I’m not joking 3 weeks after being home, she even got a tattoo of my name on her back. Saved our pic as her phone background, filled her room with pictures of us. With her doing all of this, I thought she loved me for sure and was serious about her feelings towards me. I believed and trusted her at the time.

My girlfriend as that’s what she seems to be now said that she never wants me for money and would be with me no matter what, so I never sent her any.

The First Return Trip

Only a few months after coming home, I was on my way back to Thailand to see her for a long holiday. We had planned to go and see her family they were having a big party in the village in Isan. Now I know it’s getting serious if she wants me to meet her family.

The day I got there, it was very overwhelming. She had a big family, and they were all showering me with attention everyone wanted to try and talk to me. We were cooking outside with a homemade BBQ, Thai music playing, and lots of beer being drunk. They were all very happy, as was I. I thought my girlfriend must really think a lot of me if she wanted me to meet all her family.

At the end of the night, my girlfriend asked me to give her parents 5,000 baht for the food and the beers. I was pretty angry because my girlfriend did not inform me that I had to pay for everyone’s food and drinks she could have told me. I said to her that she only wants me for money. I was being stupid by saying that because at the time I did not understand Thai culture, but now I have a better grasp of it.

We stayed at her parents’ home for a couple of days and then went to see her brother, whose house we ended up staying at for 2 weeks. Me, my girlfriend, and her brother would go out pretty much every day and then go out at night. I was spending a lot of money on both of them, which in turn was making me angry and not having much fun.

Cultural Clashes In Thailand

One night, I ended up drinking a bit too much than I should have, and I was rude to her kept telling her she is using me for my money and this was her plan all along. She tried to explain over and over again that it’s Thai culture for the man to pay for everything and give money to his wife. I told her she is not my wife we are not married she is just my girlfriend, and I shouldn’t have to keep spending money every day on her and her family.

I did eventually understand more about the culture, and looking back, I was pretty stupid and should not have acted the way I did. She did forgive me after I explained to her that I was not used to her culture, and I started giving her family money every time we would go and see them. She always had a 5 year old daughter that I would spoil a lot, and she started to get attached to me.

Throughout this holiday, we had a lot of ups and downs mainly because of the way I acted, really. I just wasn’t used to all this and was a bit paranoid, I think. I thought she only wanted me for money, did not really love me, lied about her feelings, and everything else. I would always accuse her of flirting with others and that she had other guys while I was back home. I would always feel bad after once I had time to think about everything and remember that this is not the West. I really upset her with the things I would say and accuse her of, but she always forgave me and really wanted us to be together. The next day would always be a fresh start for us.

A few weeks into this trip, I was having doubts as to whether I loved her and wanted to be with her, so we had a long chat. She was honest and told me that the way I have acted, she is unsure if I am really the man for her. We both agreed that we would change our way of thinking and give each other the benefit of the doubt, as we are still learning about each other. It was clear that we both eventually wanted to be together, so we wanted to try and make it work.

The Phone Incident

A couple of weeks before I was due to fly home, she was in the bathroom and left her phone open. Stupidly, I looked at her LINE account, and it was full of messages from other men talking about love, money, and future Thailand trips. I took a look at the most recent message, and she said something about her having a new man. But before I could read the whole thing, she came out of the bathroom, saw me on her phone, and went ballistic at me shouting at me, saying that her past is none of my business and I should know about it. Which is true, and I can’t argue with that. But it made me very upset seeing her message list full of other guys.

I did not see the dates they were sent or if she even replied, so it could have been before she met me so I had no proof to be angry. The little bit of message that I did see about her having a new man made me think that maybe she is telling the truth about only wanting me.

That trip, I ended up staying in Thailand for 3 months and was with her every day. At the airport at the end of my trip, she was in pieces crying a lot at the airport in front of everyone. I felt horrible and felt like such a bad guy with the way I treated her. I could see she really loved me, and if I did not get my act together, she might leave me, and I could be losing a one in a million girl. I gave her 40,000 baht which is all I had left from the trip gave her a kiss, and I went back home.

Trying to Change Things

Once I got home this time, I had a long think to myself, and I decided I really needed to change if I wanted to be in a relationship with her. I had to stop being jealous, and I had a whole lot to learn about Thai relationship culture. We continued to talk every day and would video chat at least 1 hour a day when we could. We spoke long about our relationship, the future, and a little about our pasts, but she never went into detail about her past which I understand.

She told me she loved me so much and never wanted another man. She wanted me to change so she could spend her future with me. I decided it was time for me to be a man and start supporting her as per Thai culture. I started to send her 10,000 baht a month for her rent and family. I know it’s not much, but that’s what I wanted to start with. The money I sent stayed at 10,000 a month except one time where I sent 25,000 because there was a problem within the family supposedly.

She started to say that I was like a husband to her and that she wanted to get married with me soon and start a family. Expressing interest in getting a visa and moving to my country one day, she started to take English language classes. I told her that I did not really like her working at the bar, so instead I will send her 15,000 a month, and she got a job in a restaurant.

She was only working there for about a week until she said she did not like it the money was bad, and the other workers there did not treat her good. So after a week, she gave up work at the restaurant, spoke to the mamasan at her old job, and was allowed back as a waitress and cashier only serving drinks. She told me she preferred doing this because even if people wanted to bar fine her, one, she wouldn’t want to, and two, she wouldn’t be allowed. This made me trust her more.

Building Trust Or So I Thought

The time that I looked at her LINE, she could see that I was a very jealous person at the time, so she cleaned out her account and gave me her password so I can check whenever I want. I never planned on checking, nor did I ask, but she gave me her password anyway. I must admit, though, for around 3 or 4 months, I did check now and again, but it seemed squeaky clean and nothing bad came up, so I trusted whatever she told me.

However, I did still ask her questions. I was still paranoid, as is most men who have a girlfriend in Pattaya working in a bar. I would ask her if she is being good and if she has been with anyone from the bar. She said she had not and promised on her daughter’s life, so I believed her.

Every night that she was working at the bar, she would call me when she got home usually for about an hour. She wanted to show me that she was home alone and hadn’t short-timed or long-timed. She would also call me the morning after to show me she is still alone. This happened pretty much every day, apart from a couple of nights when she told me she was going to a party or family thing which was fine with me.

It was actually pretty horrible living like this from my side being this jealous and paranoid. I hated feeling like a controlling person that is always checking in on their girlfriend the way I did, and I’m sure it wasn’t nice for her either. I wouldn’t say I am a bad boyfriend I just get very jealous and find it hard to trust.

Another Trip And Another Mistake

It was time to go back again to see my girlfriend. This time wouldn’t be as long as last time, but it would be for 5 weeks, so it’s still good. During the time that I was away from her and just connected with her over the phone, we got along really good and got to know each other a lot better. I think we both understood now where each other was coming from and made changes so our relationship would work. We were having a really good time this trip it was so much better than last time. I think it’s because we did not have her brother with us the whole time, though we did go and see the family a lot.

It was a wonderful holiday until I ruined it again. My girlfriend took me to a big temple, and while we were there, she said, “You can ask me anything. I will tell you the truth, and I won’t lie.” Instead of asking a question about our future or something positive, I was stupid and asked, “How many others have you been with while you have been with me?” She replied that 1 year ago, she had a short-time. I believed her. I was still a little angry and had doubt in my mind, but I still went along with it and believed that this was the only time.

The doubt in my mind kept creeping up on me throughout the holiday, and I think she could tell. She told me that she wanted us to get married before I leave. I told her that next trip we will get married we had to plan it properly first. I only said this because of the doubt in my mind. I was not sure she was telling me the whole truth about what has happened since we met, so the thought of marriage scared me a little. So, with that and doubt in my mind, we agreed that we will plan the wedding once I get home, and then when I return to Thailand the next time, we will get married.

That trip, I also got a tattoo of her name on my arm as she had a tattoo with my name, I wanted to show her that I’m serious and loyal. I also bought her a new laptop because she wanted to practice more English online and wanted to look for jobs she could do from a laptop rather than working at the bar.

It was time for me to go home again, and she came to the airport with me. Unlike last time, there were no tears. She did not seem upset, and I don’t know it just felt different. This was only a few months ago.

The Discovery About My Thai Girlfriend

When I got home, everything went on as usual. We would talk every day, video chat every night, and things seemed fine until a couple of weeks ago. She had also given me her Facebook password in the past, and I did a little snooping. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have. I saw that a man sent her a friend request. Once I checked his profile, he had pictures of them both that he had uploaded 2 weeks before I went to meet her the last time. Pictures of them on dates, selfies, pictures of them both in a hotel, and even some private pictures that I thought she had taken and sent only to me.

I confronted her about this, because seeing this changed everything about what we are going to do in the future. She told me that she was not sure if I were coming back to see her, and she only did it for money because I was not sending her any. She went on to tell me she loves me and not him. Even if this was true, it still does not change the fact that she had been lying to me and if there is him, how many others are there?

I decided that I was going to message him on Facebook and ask him myself. He said that they long-timed for a week and got really close. He said that he loves her very much and they were talking every day until one day she just stopped replying to him. They used to talk on the phone for a long time, and then she would say that she needs to go and call family this was the time she was talking to me, not family. When he told me the date that the contact stopped, it was the first day that I flew back to Thailand.

He then went back to Pattaya for a holiday and called her to see if she would meet him. At this time, we were at her family’s home. She called him back it must have been when she was in the bathroom or somewhere away from me because I knew nothing of it. She told him that she will meet him 2 weeks from then, and that would be the day after I left to go back home. Even after I told him about me, he still declared his love for her, telling me that he still loves her despite that she is with me.

I told him it’s best to leave her alone now because she is not in that type of work anymore she is with me, and we plan to get married. I then blocked him on my account and on my girlfriend’s.

Forgiveness And More Lies

My girlfriend explained to me and begged for me to forgive her. I did think about it, and I understand her. She saw that I was jealous and having doubts before, so she was scared that I would not return. And she also needed money, so I guess it’s fair. I did end up forgiving her for this, as she has forgiven me for my actions in the past.

The thing that made me angry the most about the whole thing is that she was willing to see him again the day after I left. And when talking to me at home, she swore on her daughter that she was not doing anything, and she made me trust her. She made me feel like I was the only man for her. She knew I was paranoid, but all along she was lying to me.

Anyway, I forgave her, and we moved on.

Later, we ended up having a big argument, and we actually broke up. That’s when she sent me a bunch of horrible messages showing her true colours. She said that she has short-timed at least 30 times while I was not in Thailand the money I was sending her was not enough. This really hit me hard. I think I’ve made it clear in my story how jealous and paranoid I get and how I don’t find it easy to trust people, so you can guess how this made me feel.

She was drunk when she sent me all these messages, and the morning after, she was begging me for another chance, saying she’s sorry and that what she said wasn’t true she just wanted me to feel bad because she was angry. I know what she said is true, even if she is now trying to backtrack. I told her if 15,000 a month that I was sending is not enough, then she could have asked me for more, and I would have given it. If she loved me, would she really have done this? I knew one thing I still loved her so much, and it sucked.

Where I Am Now

Now I don’t know what I should do. She claims that she still loves me and begs for another chance. She has promised she wouldn’t do it again even if I did not support her. She has told me that I do not have to give her any money until we are married to prove that she is not using me. She has laid out a plan for us to get away from Pattaya, saying that we can go live in her family’s village, work from there, and be around her child. Saying that once we are married, she can get a visa and we can go back to my country to live.

That is all well and good, but how can I trust her again after finding out that she has been pretty much lying since we met each other? Even if we get married and I bring her here, how am I to know that she won’t just do the same and run off with someone else? There are plenty more people here with more money than me. If money is all she is after, then she won’t be staying with me long.

I eventually gave in and gave her another chance. I said I will not be sending any more money, and she can go back to work but not to tell me about any of it, because I really don’t want to know. I really don’t want her to go back to work it breaks my heart but I refuse to send any money after what she has done in the past.

Am I being stupid for giving her another chance? She said she will go back to the bar, but she won’t short-time she will live from her 5,000 salary she gets. I know that is not true. I know when the opportunity to make a bit more money presents itself, she will take it.

What am I supposed to do here? We had planned on getting married the next time I go to Thailand. What is she doing here? Is this a big con game, or are feelings real, and she really wants to be with me now and in the future? She said that if I break up with her, she can’t go and see her daughter because she will lose face with her family.

All in all, we have been together for about a year now, and it seems she has lied through the whole thing. Will marrying her change any of this and make our future better?

What Am I Supposed To Do Here

I need some good advice, please.

Thanks.