From Pattaya Addiction to a 7-Year Relationship

The Early Years A Newbie in Pattaya

I am a single European man and first went to Thailand in 2001. Back then, Thailand was still dirt cheap, and I could easily go for annual vacations without breaking the bank too much. I had a strong urge to go to Thailand after I had broken off with my then-girlfriend. Curiosity to travel and meet ladies got the better of me, and Thailand seemed the best fit for that.

I have always been interested in travelling. I would consider myself a bit of a nomad always moving around and not staying in the same place for too long. I did not know much about Thai culture. All I cared about at the time was meeting girls and doing a bit of exploring. So with my very limited knowledge of the country, I booked a two-week vacation to Thailand.

I landed in Bangkok, and 2 hours later I was checking into a hotel in Pattaya. I had a very warm welcome from the girls outside and the staff inside the hotel. After I checked in and sorted everything out, let’s just say I was very much in the mood to have some fun. I was the typical newbie buffalo.

About 5 seconds after walking out the hotel, I was called into a bar by a few ladies. They could see that I was a newbie in the city, and I made the mistake of telling them that I just arrived. They took advantage of this like they had just won the lottery, drinks all around! I did not care that they were taking advantage. It was their job, and I loved it anyway, so it’s all good.

The city was great new bars and streets every night, never seeing the same girl more than once. There were actually a couple of times when I went out in the day and would spend time with a girl from the previous night just to have a day date with. We would go to the beach, get food, and they would show me other things to Pattaya other than the nightlife. But to be honest, the nightlife was all that I cared about really.

I did break the rules a couple of times with this one girl from a bar I was interested in. I would go to her bar more than once, but only because she was really fun to be with and not because I had feelings for her.

Unfortunately, it was time to head back home and leave this wonderful city. As soon as I got back, I instantly had the Thailand blues and was itching to get back on the plane and make another trip.

Addicted to Pattaya

I started planning. I wanted to hit Pattaya again, but this time for a bit longer. To me, two weeks just isn’t enough. Working out my salary from work and bills that I had to pay, I figured that I could afford to have a trip to Pattaya for at least one month next time.

The second trip was pretty much the same as the first just meeting new girls every night and having fun. I did spend some hungover days just lounging on the beach and soaking up the sun, but other than that, it was bar business as usual. I knew from the first day that it’s all about money with Thai girls that work in bars, and that’s fine with me.

Pattaya soon became my secret obsession that I would visit alone as much as I could. For the next 5 or 6 years, every vacation I went on was to Pattaya. It’s safe to say, at that point, I was addicted to it all.

All the past relationships I had short and long all the problems at home, issues at work everything did not matter when I touched down in Pattaya. I simply forgot about life back home when I was in Thailand. I became a proud regular visitor.

The Trip That Changed Everything

I booked Pattaya again for another month of fun. Every trip before that, I had always left with a smile and was 100% satisfied with what I got up to. Anyway, on my 2007 trip, I landed in Bangkok and made my way to Pattaya again.

The first night there, I spent a short time with a girl, but she wanted to stay the night at my place. As I was only paying the agreed price, I thought, “Why not? Bargain.” It turns out that she was a complete psychopath. She would leave work herself so she could scan bars to find me. She would wait outside my hotel, making up lies to reception and even telling the staff at my hotel that I was doing illegal things. This was just after one night together.

I thought, “Forget this.” I did not want a vacation like this, having to watch over my shoulder every time I go out. So with everything involving this girl, I decided to make a break for it and headed to Chiang Mai.

To be honest, I had only ever been interested in the Pattaya nightlife, so I did not really know what else Thailand had to offer. Unfortunately, even though Chiang Mai was nice, it just wasn’t for me. I found it extremely boring. So I headed back to Bangkok, got a hotel for the night, and did some research on places to visit.

The next day, I somehow found myself choosing to go to Hua Hin. One train journey later, that’s where I found myself.

A Change of Heart

For some reason when I arrived there, my mood and desires had changed. I no longer wanted to meet random bar girls. I just wanted to take it easy. I still wanted to go into bars and have a drink, but as for short-timing, I just wasn’t interested.

So when I got to Hua Hin, I found the nearest tuk-tuk driver and told him to take me to some accommodation. I did not care where just take me somewhere cheap. I was actually pretty relaxed there. I enjoyed being sober in the day and doing a bit of walking around, then getting a little bit drunk at night time.

Still, I was sticking to not taking anyone out and refused to buy any drinks. I was enjoying massages without any extra services for the first time, and keeping all types of paid fun at a distance. Once you have been living the life I have been living for a few years, you tend to realise pretty fast who’s working in that scene and who isn’t. I was even practicing the Thai language, and it was coming along nicely being able to have little communications in shops and on the streets.

Meeting Junta

Then the random day came that changed the next 7 years of my life. I went about my day as normal just having a walk around, relaxing, and getting something to eat. I walked past a massage parlour and thought, “Why not?”

Once I walked in, there she was. She was a little cutie like a typical Isan-born babe. She wasn’t the hottest girl in the world, but there was something about this one that was different from the rest I have met.

I asked for an oil massage, and I was hoping and praying she did not offer any additional services. Once she finished up and did not offer, I knew then that she was perfect for me. After the massage, I went back to the hotel feeling completely different. What is going on? Why am I thinking about the random girl in a massage parlour? I wanted to see her again. I don’t think I could have gone the rest of the day without seeing her again.

I might not sound it due to my introduction and the way I was living my life, but I’m actually a quite shy guy. It took me a couple of beers to get some Dutch courage, and I was on my way back to the massage parlour for the second time in about 2 hours.

She did not speak much English, but she had a little giggle when she saw that I returned for another massage. I think she could tell that I was into her. I did not exactly play it cool by returning almost straight away. We went upstairs, and the massage began.

I was not really interested in having another massage. I just wanted to see her again. My aim was to try to ask her out on a date. Again, I am shy, but there is no way that I’m not going to leave here without even attempting to ask her out. So I did. I simply said, “Would you like to go out sometime when you are not working?”

There was silence from her. I thought maybe she did not understand, or maybe she is thinking of ways to let me down nicely. Fortunately, after a short silent moment, she agreed. After the massage, we set up a time and place to meet the next time she is not working which was the following evening.

When the next day came, I was a little nervous because we did not have any contact details and I could not confirm if the date was still on. I made my way to the bar where she told me to meet her, and to my surprise, there she was, stood outside waiting for me.

A Different Kind of Connection

That night, we just did a bit of bar hopping but not going crazy. She was more interested in drinking and having fun than doing anything romantic, as I kind of hoped. But still, the bars were fun, and we had a good time together. It was actually nice being out on a date with someone that does not work in a bar and spend time with customers for work. I kind of guessed that she still may have offered more services in the massage shop, but who cares?

After the bars, we just got some street food and sat outside talking. That night, she came back to my hotel and spent the night with me, but we did not have any bedroom fun.

After that night, we would spend every night together until it was time for me to leave back home. Most of the times we would just go to the bars and have fun, but we did go on a couple of romantic dates at restaurants and go out exploring. At this point, I probably liked spending time with her a little too much than I should have done. We all know the rules about catching feelings for girls that work in the bar or massage shops.

We had been talking about a lot of things even if the language barrier was hard, we still managed to communicate in the end. She told me her background the typical story of moving from Isan to send money back for her poor family. I did actually believe her because I had heard this story many times from the girls in Pattaya.

I told her fairly early that I was not looking for any type of serious relationship just a kind of friendship. After what happened to me in Pattaya with that crazy girl, I decided to be a little cold-hearted and straight to the point with this one. I was being truthful, though, and not stringing her along by saying that I am not looking for anything serious. I don’t really know what I was looking for not a one-night fling, but nothing serious at the same time.

For privacy reasons, I will call her Junta which is very similar to her real name.

There were no warning signs or red flags. She seemed to be very open about her past and her work, as was I. She did not seem like the type of girl to have hundreds of other guys on the go or even cared about having others.

Long-Distance

So I went back home to Norway and we began sending text messages. This was before mainstream apps like there are now to make overseas communication a lot easier. Yes, it was a lot more difficult in those days to keep in contact with girls you have met in Thailand. This was actually a good thing for many of us, as now it’s easy for Thai girls to find people and supporters online.

Anyway, we would send SMS messages every day but only call each other once in a while due to the cost of long-distance calls. We agreed that with the money I would make and save from work, I would use it to come and see her every chance I could get off work. My job was pretty decent, and with not much going on in my life, I was able to save money quite easily.

So that’s what I did. I would work a lot, save up, and then fly to Thailand to see Junta for a couple of weeks, and then come home rinse and repeat. Sure, it was breaking the bank and I was spending a lot of money, but I did not care. Seeing her made it worth it. Plus, I had also been saving money on the side just in case the worst-case scenario happens and I am left with nothing. We all know the stories of guys being cleaned out by their newfound Southeast Asian love, so I thought I would be on the safe side just in case. Let’s just say my financial situation back at home was fine and I did not have to worry at the time.

Later in the years, more apps came out and mobile internet became more of a thing. Being able to communicate with people across the world became a lot easier. We were able to Skype a lot, which changed things massively for us. No more expensive calls or text messages.

Junta told me her goal in life was to get her daughter back from her ex and build a house in Isan close to her family. My past is not great either, so I did not want to dive in much about what happened between her and her ex. I just know that he liked a drink and could be pretty violent. I just never understood why she allowed her daughter to stay with him if that’s the case, but that’s none of my business.

Travels and Good Times

Over the next few years, I would visit Junta as much as possible, and we would travel around Thailand. We never really stayed in one place for too long. It was a fun time in my life, and a lot of memories had been made. She never asked for money, but I would always pay for everything that’s just like most countries where the man pays for the dates. That’s what I say anyway. Maybe I am just trying to justify spending a ton of money on her.

We went to all the major tourist places throughout Thailand, so the bills did add up fairly quick. But like I said, I did not mind. I was having fun. We also went to some non-tourist places, and I got to see a side of Thailand that I probably wouldn’t have been able to see if it wasn’t for her. I discovered that there is a lot more to Thailand than just beers, girls, and hot weather.

One day, Junta told me that she had been saving up for a place in Bangkok. She wanted to move there for more opportunities and a chance for her daughter to come and live with her. In Hua Hin, she was renting a place but sharing it with a couple of other girls. It was a small cramped room and no place for her daughter.

I told her that she should go for it. If she can afford it, I will come and see her wherever she decides to move. At this point, I was willing to support her in helping pay for the place she found in Bangkok, but she never asked, so I never offered. I felt a sense of joy that she had her head screwed on and was thinking what’s best for her and her daughter.\

Meeting the Family in Isan

The next time I went to Thailand, we planned to stay a week in Bangkok at her new place, and then travel to Isan to see her family. So there I was now in Isan with real Thai people and experiencing a different side of Thailand. There were no bars with girls hanging outside trying to get you to come in. No girls grabbing you while you walk by. It was such a different experience.

We went around her hometown, and I was being introduced to all of her relatives. Due to the lack of English there, I mainly just received the head bow thing and went on our way. Junta would ask me if I was okay here and if I liked it. I had no reason to not like it. I was happy to get away from the busy tourist life that Thailand has. It was a breath of fresh air for me.

I also met her daughter, who took a shine to me. I think she was fascinated seeing a foreigner for the first time.

The Suspicious Phone Call

Anyway, one day her daughter came running to us with her mobile phone, handing it over to Junta as if to say the call is for her. Junta said something in Thai with a shocked look on her face, and her daughter quickly closed the phone before running away. I did not want to jump to conclusions, but that set something off in my mind. I remained calm as I was in the middle of nowhere at her family home. I did not want to ask Junta about it and start an argument or a fight. The last thing I want to do is cause a scene and have the whole family wanting to smash my face in.

We carried on the trip as if nothing had happened. We went back to Bangkok and had a great final few days together at her new place. However, the phone call was still in the back of my mind. Was there something going on that I did not know about? What secrets was she keeping from me?

I went back home, and we carried on our daily chatting and calls. She was always available when she said, and there was nothing to be suspicious of. But I had a gut feeling a bad one and it doesn’t just disappear. It carries on and makes you overthink.

The Disappearance

A few months went on, and Junta told me that she wanted to go to Hua Hin to see some of her friends. This was fine for me, and I wished her to have a good time. I just asked that she keeps me updated, which I thought was a fair thing to ask.

As soon as she left, she completely went offline. No Skype. No SMS. Not even replying to emails. She became a ghost. I did send a couple of SMS messages, and I saw that she read them, but she never replied. My gut feeling was right after all. There must have been something I did not know about. She probably did have another guy on the go or a couple of guys and that’s what the phone call may have been about.

About a week after she left on her trip, she contacted me and said, “Sorry, are you mad at me now?” Of course I was mad. I was hurt all because I cared for her. After all the years we had been in contact and the amount of money I spent going to see her, she did me like this. It would not have hurt her to tell me that she would be out of contact for a few days or to simply let me know what was going on.

I began to see that this relationship was not going to work, and it was just going to keep costing me money in trips. Plus, she obviously was keeping something from me, and if she can’t be honest, then clearly me and her are not going to work.

I did not want to question her about all the thoughts I had going on in my head, so I decided to just leave it. Even if I did ask her, she probably would have just fed me lies, and I already knew then that I couldn’t trust her, so what would be the point? I cut the relationship off with Junta, and all I got in a reply was “I’m sorry.” Not an explanation. Not even an attempt to lie to me. Just the words “I’m sorry.”

That was the last I heard from her. There were no attempts from either me or her to contact one another. After years of daily chats, messages, and flights to see her, we were over just like that.

The Bitter Truth

The following winter which was about 4 months after we broke up I saw her Facebook filled with pictures of her and another man in snow. We all know it does not snow in Thailand. Turns out she had taken a long-distance trip to another country with a different man. She certainly moved on fast.

A little bit more digging, and I saw that her friends were wishing her luck with her new life. I guess a different farang came along and swept her off her feet. But let’s be honest he did not come along after we broke up. I feel like he had been in her life a long time before that.

The lesson of this story: What a fool I was. Thank God for that phone call which made me suspicious. If it was not for that phone call, who knows how this would have played out or how much longer I would have been taken for a fool.

Ah well, these things happen. I can’t be too bitter. I did see a lot of Thailand and have some good memories there.

Well, that’s my story about my little Thailand romance. I still had fun, but yeah the way it ended sucked.

Good luck, travellers.