Pattaya Tourist Behavior: A Cautionary Tale

I have witnessed several incidents and actions that involve these people mentioned, and at times I was on the receiving end of their behavior.

These are the things that we men, regardless of race, should be aware of when in Thailand.

Pattaya Sidewalk Etiquette and Respect

During one of my visits in 2022, I was walking along the narrow sidewalk on the east side of Pattaya Beach Road. I saw one of these ‘special tourist’ mongers approaching, so I stepped slightly aside to give him room, expecting the same from him. Instead, he walked straight into me, shoulder checking me as if I wasn’t there. Instinctively, I pushed him away and he stumbled into a pole. Words were exchanged, but a shopkeeper who saw everything immediately scolded him, saying, “You bad man. He gave you room, you rude man.” Advice number one: You are not alone walking on Pattaya’s tight sidewalks. Be mindful of others and show the same respect you expect in return. If you are rude, you risk being treated the same way.

Pattaya Songthaew Traffic and Street Awareness

Another time, as I was riding a songthaew taxi on my way to Soi 6, the speed dropped to walking pace while the driver started leaning on the horn. I leaned out the side and saw two of these ‘special tourist’ mongers walking slowly along parked cars in the middle of the lane, chatting, even though the sidewalk was on the other side completely empty. The traffic was forced to crawl because of them.

Eventually, an opening appeared on the right and the truck moved around them at speed. One of the regular tourists standing on the back platform lashed out and kicked one of them, knocking him to the ground. I actually felt a bit satisfied even though I’m not a vindictive person. Rudeness brings rudeness.

Advice number two: Have some awareness of your surroundings. You are not the most important person in the world.

Pattaya Massage, Heat, and Body Odor

Now, let’s talk about body odor. One of my favorite things is a head and shoulders massage. One hour of absolute bliss in an air-conditioned room after being out in the heat. On one occasion, my senses were assaulted by a strong body odor coming from the person in the next cubicle. We were separated only by curtains, but the air conditioning was pushing his smell across the room. I had to cut my session short as I was getting a headache from it.

As humans, we sweat in hot temperatures. It’s natural and normal. I’m an ex-military man and have trained in all conditions. I know the difference between a normal hot day sweat and someone who hasn’t washed properly for days or even weeks. This smell was old possibly weeks old. The poor massage lady dealing with him must have been miserable.

Advice number three: Shower often in Pattaya. Two or even three showers a day is normal. Thai and many East and Southeast Asians generally do not have strong body odor due to genetics and also because of their hygiene habits. In simple terms, they stay clean. You should too.

While we are on grooming, Pattaya has plenty of nail salons. Spend a few hundred baht and get a manicure or a pedicure, especially if you wear sandals or get foot massages. Don’t walk around with dirty nails or unkempt feet. Get a haircut, shave, brush your teeth, and use mouthwash. Poor hygiene sends a message that you don’t care about yourself, so why should anybody else?

Pattaya Restaurant Etiquette, Tipping, and Politeness

Another incident happened in a small, cheap restaurant. As I sat down for lunch, two of these ‘special tourists’ came in. They ordered while barely looking at the server, waving their hands in a dismissive way. You could see she was offended. When she came to me, I made eye contact, used what little Thai I know to say please, then ordered in English, and finished with a thank you in Thai. I smiled and kept it polite while I waited. I sat quietly while the other two were loud and obnoxious.

Guess whose food came first. The server even apologized for the noise from the other table. They rushed their food, paid with coins, and left no tip. I felt embarrassed for them. I left a tip not to cover them, but because the lady deserved it.

Advice number four: Tip. You don’t have to go over the top, but show some appreciation. And stop being loud and obnoxious. That behavior might work where you come from, but not here.

Pattaya Bar Group Hunting and Respectful Dating

Speaking of being cheap, I once saw four of these tourist mongers in a bar on Soi 8 trying to convince a bar girl with a lower price because they would give her ‘volume business.’ They were also sharing one beer between the four of them and hadn’t bought her a drink. I was talking to a girl at my table who was already on her second drink. I asked her what was going on, then told her to bring the girl over to our table. I ordered four beers for the group. Advice number five: What makes anyone think a single girl would agree to go with four men? Were they planning to take turns, watch, or what? It makes no sense. Not to mention, they were soaked in sweat. Stop group hunting. It’s one guy and one girl maybe two if you can afford it, but not the other way round. Occasionally, two guys and one girl might happen, but only if she chooses it. Four to one is ridiculous.

I have also heard of situations where girls are tricked into rooms with multiple men. That is unacceptable criminal behavior. If you wonder why you get refused service before even saying hello, it is because of behavior like that.

Lastly, I once met a ladyboy with serious bruising on her face and body. She had been attacked by a customer after he discovered the truth. If you are unsure, ask first. If you’re not comfortable, walk away. Violence is never the answer.

First Thailand Trip: A Pattaya Romance Goes Wrong

I’m 48. I live in one of the midland counties in the UK and I’m remarried with three children all away at university. The marriage is a solid one, but perhaps more one of convenience, with my wife a director of a beauty company that takes up most of her attention.

Over the last 10 years or so, I found I prefer the more relaxed massage-type visit the slower paced essential buildup to the final act, as it were.

Da: The Thai Massage Romance in the UK

January last year, I visited one particular Thai massage place and one lady in particular. Her name was Da. 29 years old, long black hair, beautiful eyes, and a bigger behind than most Thai women, but not overweight. We became close very close. The massages were good with a usual enjoyable ending to the session, and the long chats during them got us bonding. After four or five visits of chatting and laughing, the sessions became more intense. Fast forward 15 or so visits and I realized I’d fallen in love with Da.

I went away on a European holiday with friends during which we had quite a remarkable phone call. After the phone bill had been abused, she began to cry, admitting she was married, with her husband away for work fairly regularly. Understanding the hypocrisy of any criticism, I adapted to the situation.

A First Pattaya Trip Begins After Friends Cancel

Last autumn, two friends who are cousins were organizing a short 8-day trip to Pattaya and told me to get permission and I’d be coming too. I got said permission from my wife for my first trip to Thailand and told Da of our plans. She was furious. I was going to Pattaya, as apparently that’s where all the ‘wrong’ girls worked Da being a Bangkok lady.

The time for the trip to Pattaya arrived, but the two cousins had a significant bereavement and could no longer go. I had no doubt about going and told my wife I was still going as it was on my bucket list. It’s probably here I should mention my wife goes back to Canada every year to see friends. So, there is a balance of holidaying abroad separately as well as family holidays.

First Night in Pattaya: Bars, Massage, and a New Companion

I arrived in Bangkok and found the taxi waiting that I had previously booked to Pattaya. Tired but eager bag unpacked, a beer in the shower, and out for around 4:00 p.m. local time. Although I had decided the first night would be more of a drinking session finding my bearings and enjoying the atmosphere I thought I’d get a massage and some relief first. I must have picked up one of the few legit massage shops in Pattaya. Pajama trousers on, curtain drawn, a room set up for multiple massages. I was expecting the wandering hand treatment, but nothing. So no relief, but it was a good massage from a very strong lady.

First bar of the evening, I sat with an Australian guy and asked if I could buy him a beer, and in return, he’d tell me what’s what. A good friendly chat with a few beers exchanged, and I picked up some great tips. Same again in the next bar with a Dutch guy.

Now very drunk, I wandered and eventually ended up in a quieter beer bar where the girls were a little older and not pulling customers in. I approached a lady sitting on her own and asked if I could buy her a drink. Could she explain bar fines, lady drink prices, and short time costs? I was slurring and apologized for being drunk, and she laughed and patted my cheek. I thanked her and left, realizing I needed sleep.

As I looked back, she was watching me and smiled. I walked away, thought about it, turned around and went back. I told her I wanted her company, and she took my hand and walked me to my hotel. Showers and aerobics followed immediately. I walked her back, grinning like an idiot.

Pattaya Bar Romance: Money, Feelings, and Lessons Learned

The next day, I went to a bar for food and beers. I wanted to see the same girl again, but couldn’t remember the bar. Eventually, another group of girls helped me identify her name and location, and I found the bar again. No Le at first, but then she appeared. Drinks flowed, mistakes were made, and I ended up back at the hotel again. More showers, more aerobics.

The following days repeated in similar fashion. I spent too much money, saw very little of the city, and broke all the rules. I knew by the end she was actually stopping me spending too much and buying me small things. She cared in small ways that pull you in.

The final night, we stayed together, using up the last of the protection, each time followed by another shower. We exchanged details, and I left feeling attached. Back home, we’ve been chatting, and I’ve had the usual messages about taking her out of the bar and going home. I’ve also had genuine conversations and video calls. I know I’ve caught feelings, so I’m balancing it by watching warning videos.

I know I’ve been selfish, greedy, and an idiot on my first trip, but by God, it was fantastic.

First Thailand Trip Romance: Meeting May in Bangkok

This is a story of a vacation romance I had on my first trip to Thailand. I’m from America and I was 23 at the time. This was in August 2024. I had some free time as I was laid off when the company I worked for went bankrupt. I decided to take a 1 month trip to Asia, and the first stop was going to be one week in Bangkok. This was my first international trip.

Dancing with May on Khao San Road

I went to some clubs in the RCA area, but they were just not my style. It was probably around midnight and it still was not picking up. I was considering calling it a night, but I decided to take a taxi over to Khao San Road. Khao San was a lot more lively than RCA. It did not take long to find a bar that had a lot of people dancing and having a good time.

Before I got to the bar, I locked eyes with this drop dead gorgeous Thai woman. She had a perfect body, super slim, and had a great smile. I was getting closer to her, and I wanted to dance with her, but there was this guy very close to her that at first seemed like she was with him. So, I was hesitant to make a move. Eventually, she grabbed my hand and we started dancing.

She eventually put my hand on her chest while we were dancing, and we started kissing. The guy eventually had enough and left the bar. We were having an amazing time just dancing, kissing, and feeling each other up. Her name was May.

Friends Interrupt a Bangkok Bar Romance

May introduced me to a European friend group she was friendly with. Every now and then, May would go and talk with one of the girls in that group. At this point, it had been about an hour since I’d met May. Eventually, while we were dancing, one of the girls grabbed May‘s hand and pulled her away. Shortly after that, one of the girls slapped me hard on the chest and said I could not dance with May as she was too drunk, and they took her out of the bar. I was shocked.

I got back to my hotel around 2:30 a.m. I saw I was still following her on Instagram, so at least she had not blocked me. She had posted some videos on her stories, including one of us dancing. The last story was a picture of the group that took her away with text in Thai. I translated it and it was basically her insulting them, telling them to go back to their own country and to mind their own business. That made me feel better. Shortly after, she messaged me asking how I was. We ended up video calling, and she apologized and said she did not want to leave but they forced her. We agreed to meet the next evening.

May Reveals Her Gender History in Bangkok

We met, got dinner, and watched a movie. She told me she was 21 and from Udon Ratchathani and visiting Bangkok for the weekend. After the movie, we went to Khao San Road again, drank heavily, bar hopping and dancing. Around 4:00 a.m. we left, got a tuk tuk back to my hotel. On the walk back, I realized I had lost my phone likely left in the tuk tuk. I used my backup phone to try and locate it, but it had been turned off.

Back at the hotel, we started kissing and messing around. While getting intimate, she told me she had something to say and revealed she was a ladyboy. I was surprised but not upset. She was very feminine and I had not suspected it. I told her I did not mind, and we went ahead. It was a new experience for me and a bit strange at first, but I adjusted quickly and we ended up having a good time.

The next day we went to Chatuchak Market, kept things more relaxed, then went out again later despite earlier plans not to. She asked to stay another day, and I booked her a new flight as it was cheap. We spent the next day mostly resting, joking around, and enjoying each other’s company. Then the next morning, I walked her to the BTS and we said our goodbyes both a bit emotional. That was also my last day in Thailand before flying to South Korea. I regretted not staying longer.

I returned to Thailand in February 2026 and met May again in Phuket and traveled around together including Phi Phi Island and Kanchanaburi. That trip was good, but not as perfect as the first time.

Christmas Eve 2019 in Chiang Mai: The Gold-Dress Girl

This is a story about my first night in Thailand. It was Christmas Eve 2019 in Chiang Mai.

I arrived at a beer bar complex at around 11:00 p.m. and I went into one of the bars. It was packed on this night, and all the girls were wearing Santa costumes. A few beers later, an absolutely stunning girl in a gold dress joined the crowd. She looked beautiful very innocent looking. The dress was conservative, showed no cleavage, and not too short. This was exactly what I was looking for.

However, she was surrounded by six of her other friends who were dancing together in a group. I have never introduced myself to a Thai girl before. The idea of approaching a group of six or seven girls who are minding their own business and trying to strike up a conversation with one of them was just too daunting for me. I just could not get up the nerve to say hello.

A little later, the bar closed and I left disappointed.

Chiang Mai Nightclub Encounter with a Ladyboy

I eventually found myself entering another nightclub. Inside was completely packed and I could barely move. I saw a girl standing nearby. She wasn’t a stunner, but she was pretty nowhere near as beautiful as the girl in the gold dress, but nice. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. I went over to the girl and just said hi. She said hi back and we began chatting.

I quickly became aware that she was very happy with lots of physical contact. Clearly, this was a girl who was used to being picked up by Western guys. She certainly wasn’t shy. As time passed, she insisted that I buy her and her friends a few rounds of drinks, which I happily did as I was on holiday and I didn’t mind spending money.

A little later, the three of us left the club, which had been very dark inside. And to my dismay, as we got outside under the street lights, I saw that my ‘pretty’ girl had more facial hair than me. It goes without saying that I was very disappointed. But as I was very drunk by now and quite tired, I wasn’t in the mood to find another girl, so I decided to stick with this one.

The friend then drove the three of us on her scooter to get some food and some more drinks which I paid for, of course. After we were finished eating, the friend then drove me back to my Airbnb where I was in for more disappointment. This girl decided that she didn’t want to stay with me and just drove off with her friend.

Chiang Mai Karaoke Scam: A 20,000-Baht Bill

One more thing that I should add at this point is that I very rarely drink. And at this point, I was the most drunk that I’d been for years. I decided to get a taxi and told him to take me to a place where I could get a girl. The driver promptly took me to a karaoke venue on the outskirts of town. No doubt he received a fat commission for delivering a drunk foreigner to the venue.

I stumbled inside and was led to a room where I could choose a girl to join me. They asked me if I wanted something to drink and a snack. I said yes. They promptly brought in several drinks and plates of food without even asking me what I wanted or giving me a menu. I wasn’t really enjoying the place. I just wanted to take the girl back to my place. So, after about 30 minutes, I asked for the bill.

The bill was brought to me by a man who placed it on the table and then stood guarding the door so that I could not leave. At this point, even my drunk brain knew something was wrong. Sure enough, I looked at the bill and it was for 20,000 baht (about £500). I knew that I’d been scammed. £500 for a few drinks and some snacks.

Now, here comes my biggest mistake. I picked up the bill, threw it on the floor, walked over to the Thai man guarding the door, threw him across the room, and opened the door whereupon I was charged by about six to eight Thai men who easily pushed me to the floor, kicking and punching me while I was down. Even the girl that I had been sitting with joined in, stomping on me.

It’s interesting to note that wherever you are in the world, when men fight, there is an unwritten rule not to hit each other in the privates. Women, however, don’t seem to have this inhibition. And it became clear that this girl was making it her intention to prevent me from having any biological children in the future.

Luckily for me, Thais are very small and light, and I am used to playing rugby with men twice their size and getting battered and bruised. Their punching and kicking didn’t do much damage, and I was able to dodge the girl’s stomping and keep my bits intact.

Surprisingly, at this point, I made a good decision. I apologized, and I paid the bill. The Thais went back to being calm very quickly after this, like nothing had happened. I guess they are used to getting payment by force.

Anyway, I made my way back outside and took a tuk tuk back to my Airbnb where I made my final mistake of the night. I wasn’t carrying any small bank notes. I only had a 1,000 baht note left. And surprise, surprise, the tuk tuk driver didn’t have any change. I guess I should have gotten the driver to take me to a 7 Eleven where I could buy something and get change, but I just wanted the night to come to an end. So I gave him the thousand baht note and went to bed.

This was a very disappointing, painful, expensive first night in Thailand. But at least I learned a lot from it.