From Holiday Romance to Heartbreak in Thailand
The Lads’ Holiday
My story starts at the end of 2017 when I went on a lads’ holiday with a couple of friends to Thailand. This holiday was meant to be just a lads’ holiday just to clear our heads. Not having a getaway for over 5 years, it was long overdue. Me and my 2 friends are in our 20s, and with it all agreed, we booked tickets. A month later, we were on our way to Bangkok.
Once we touched down and checked into our hotel, we wasted no time getting a shower and getting ready for the night. We went to the hotel bar for a few drinks first. My friends were eager to check out Muay Thai, so we headed to Lumphini Stadium to watch some fights. My 2 friends were in relationships at the time, so the nightlife bars did not really come up much in conversation they still wanted to have fun and drink, though.
After the Muay Thai had finished, we headed back to Sukhumvit Road and found a bar close to our hotel, with a couple of pool tables inside. Although there were a few girls in there, it wasn’t really a bar to pick up girls though I’m sure you could if you were interested. Some of the girls in there did try their luck with us for drinks. Without trying to be rude, they were not exactly the most attractive women. They were nice to chat to, but that’s about it.
I spent most of my time talking to a sweet, tiny waitress that did not seem to be a girl in a bar.
Her job just appeared to be getting the beers, sorting out the bills, setting up the pool tables, and sometimes playing pool with the people if she was not busy. I stayed for a couple of hours, talking to her every chance I got, but after 2 hours my friends wanted to go to a club, so we left.
The next night, we wanted to go back to the same bar to play pool but really, I wanted to go back to see the waitress again. We got there, and the cute waitress was there again, welcoming us. Me and her had a couple of drinks and played pool together as it was not really that busy. Eventually, I decided to ask her if she’d like to come for a drink with me if she has time after work. Because I did not mention a bar fine, I thought she would not accept but to my surprise, accept she did.
She did not finish work for at least 2 more hours, though. So me and my friends left to a few other bars before it was time for me to go back to the pool bar and meet her. I jumped in a taxi and headed to the bar. Although the taxi driver repeatedly tried to convince me to go to Patpong and he seemed to know every massage parlour in the city, I still got to the pool bar safely. I arrived just as she was finishing work. She got dressed up in the back, and we headed to a club for a couple of hours and then back to my hotel.
The First Night
I know YouTube isn’t the place for reporting on what happened inside the hotel, but we had some time together and then pretty much stayed up all night talking in a somewhat tipsy state.
I did ask her about her work, and she said that she is not a girl working in a bar she cant leave work with customers
She claimed she came with me because she liked my company and wanted to have some fun. Even when we were in the club and had some food after, she wanted to split the cost of everything between us. Every time I bought us drinks, she would be the next round. This was nice of her, but I was thinking maybe she is playing the long game.
The next morning, she had to leave for work. Because I did not know if I needed to pay or not, I wasn’t sure if I should offer her money. I did not want to be offensive, so I thought I would wait if she wanted money, then she would ask for it. Looking back, part of me wishes that she had taken it and the story between me and her would have ended there. She never asked me for money before leaving. We just exchanged numbers and Facebooks, and off she went.
The Island Hoping Disaster
That day, we left Bangkok and flew to Phuket for a few days, then to Phi Phi. After that, we planned to spend the last few days at Koh Samui before going back to Bangkok for our final night. This did not go as planned. When we landed in Koh Samui, there was a huge storm some of the worst rain I’d ever seen. Everywhere was closed, and there was no point in going out at all. We checked the weather and learned that it was meant to be trash weather for at least another 2 weeks. So we decided to waste no time and fly back to Bangkok. It was pointless staying in Koh Samui. Luckily, the airport hadn’t closed, and planes were still taking off as normal.
That night, we obviously went back to the pool bar so I could see the waitress again. She was over the moon to see me because she thought I would be gone for days and might not see me again. We did not go out together that night. I just stayed at her bar drinking and chatting with her until closing time, and then I went to the club with my friends. After that night, I spent every night with her before I had to go home.
I would either meet her after work and we would go out, or she would come straight to my hotel. We managed to spend the whole last 2 days together because all the bars were closed due to some holiday or something. We had so much fun together eating, drinking, sightseeing, even going to the cinema. It wasn’t all about the time together.
Keeping in Touch
I did, however, only see this as a holiday romance and nothing more. I did not expect to hear from her again or continue this arrangement when I went home. That did not exactly go to plan either, because as soon as I got home, we started chatting on Facebook and video chatting when she finished work. I could feel myself falling for her. It was hard to forget about her because we would chat every day and I would see her every day. I guess that is my fault for keeping in contact with her.
I could not shake the paranoia, though, in thinking that she was not a good girl. This is because although I know she was a waitress and not a typical girl in a bar, she still came back to my room shortly after we met. Yeah, she did not ask for money, but it did not take much convincing for her to come to my room, and that bothered me a little.
The paranoia got the better of me, and I contacted one of her friend’s husbands a Westerner and they had been married a couple of years. I asked him about my girl if she was the good type of girl or one of those that plays the long game. He assured me that she had a heart of gold and wasn’t like most other girls that work in a bar. She never worked for drinks and strictly stuck to being a waitress. She never did turn down drinks if she was offered which actually is understandable. Who would turn down a free drink and a bit of commission?
At this point, she was working really long hours. Her boss evidently did not really have much concern for her health. She would work from 11:00 a.m. in the morning until 3:00 a.m., 7 days a week unless she requested a day off. And after that, she would still find time to video chat with me until she fell asleep. I really don’t know how she found the energy for all of that.
Learning About Her
I started to learn more about her during our chats, and she opened up about a lot of things. She told me that she was working long hours because she did not want to do anything else, and she needed to send money home to her family. She also told me about previous relationships. She had been with a farang before. He moved to Thailand to be with her but soon became very controlling not allowing her to work or go out with friends. She said he was rich but could not stand the way he treated her and could not see a future with him, even if he did support her. She eventually ended it with him after she discovered he had a secret relationship with a Thai hospital worker.
I started to trust her as time went on. She was always home when she said she would be and always answered my calls, even at work. She would shout to the other girls when she was at work, saying, “I’m on the phone to my boyfriend.” It felt like things were getting serious between us.
After a lot of thinking about things, and as my feelings continued to deepen for her, I decided I wanted to meet again and actually have a try at things with her. Eventually, I trusted her 100% and was completely confident she was a good girl and had no bad intentions. I booked a ticket to go to Thailand to see her again.
The Second Trip
While waiting for the upcoming trip to Thailand, we discussed her coming to the UK to see me and meet my family. She had never been out of Thailand and was more than happy to come and meet everyone. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we still went ahead and submitted an application for her visa. It’s crazy how many documents we submitted from employment letters to evidence of us video chatting every day and transcripts of our chats. The big problem was that I had only been to Thailand once when I met her and took no photos together, so we had no proof that we had actually met in person. Even after the amount of documents we submitted, we weren’t confident and did not hold our breath that the visa would be granted.
One day during my 10-day trip back to Thailand, I remember it like it was yesterday. We were walking around the mall shopping when she got a text message saying that the application had finished and the passport was ready to be picked up. That’s how it worked then you simply get told to come and pick your passport up to see if the visa has been approved or declined. So we quickly jumped in a taxi and headed there, worried and scared that it wouldn’t have been approved. And against all odds, the visa was accepted. We were in a daze and full of excitement.
We immediately started planning our trip to the UK. We bought a plane ticket to the UK and a return ticket to Thailand after 3 months. I was worried about how she would like the cold and dull UK weather compared to the sunny, hot Thailand weather. But she loved it here, and it was amazing to see her happy here. My family quickly warmed to her, and even though my friends at first had stereotypical opinions about this Thai girl in my life, they began to like her as well. I don’t blame my friends for holding those views to begin with I probably would have been the same and a little protective of my friends if it was them in my position.
She was really friendly and loving to everyone, including my grandparents, and all the kids in the family loved her. She was initially worried about being an outsider, but my family made her feel very welcome, and the worry soon disappeared.
Extending Her Stay
A few months into our trip, she told me she did not want to go home yet and loved it here with this new life and being around everyone. We decided to change the return ticket and book it at a later date. She was allowed to stay in the UK for up to 6 months, so we wanted to use as much of that as possible. This was great for me because I could still work and then return to see this beautiful girl that had magically walked into my life.
However, when we tried to change the return ticket, we found out that it was not flexible and that we had to pay full price for a completely new ticket. I explained that we can buy a new ticket, no problem, but she was really paranoid because she had told immigration which date she would return. She did not want to get into any trouble even though I don’t think she would have but better to be safe than sorry. At the end of the initial 3-month trip, she sadly flew back to Thailand, and I again was on my own.
The plan after that was for me to go out to Thailand for Christmas and spend it with her and her family. Checking the cost of everything, it would have been well over £2,000, but her coming back here would be a lot cheaper basically just the cost of the flight. So after discussing, we decided that she would come back here for another 2 months and spend Christmas time in the UK.
We had a fantastic Christmas together, and it was such a great feeling watching her experience decorating the tree with my family and getting into the Christmas spirit something that she had not experienced before. Unfortunately, it did not snow that year, and she really had a desire to experience snow for the first time.
It was during this trip to the UK that I realised I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life and wanted her to relocate to the UK so we could start a life together. I brought this up in conversation, and we started talking about the future and marriage. It was time for her to leave again, and like last time, me and my family were heartbroken. But this time, I had the planning of the marriage to look forward to.
Though this is where things started to go wrong, and I have deep regrets to this day that will probably remain with me forever.
The First Regret
When she went back to work, the bar had taken a big dive, and business was not good. Her foolish boss had cut the wages almost in half.
And with no people, she could not even work for drink commission, even if she wanted to. This meant that my girl would be working long shifts for less pay now something that did not sit right with her. So she got a job in a different bar.
This is where my first regret comes into the story. Instead of being the future husband I should have been and told her to go stay with her parents and I’d support her with money every month, I just stuck to being stubborn and not wanting to be a farang statistic sending money to his Thai girlfriend.
The Cracks Appear
To carry on with the story and the events that followed, I need to give a little background of the slight problems we had while she was in the UK with me. Every now and then, she would feel like she does not deserve this life, telling me that I should find another girl who is better than her. She would become very withdrawn and distant, telling me that she has nothing to offer me she’s good for nothing and that I should find a girl in my country. Obviously, this was ridiculous, and I did not see it that way at all. She gave me happiness and love. I wouldn’t have changed her for the world. It was really upsetting and annoying that she felt that way because I never once did or said anything to make her feel like she wasn’t good enough.
Talking about marriage, I thought it would be obvious to her that I was serious about her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I think part of this is because of her experience with her farang ex-boyfriend. He wasn’t exactly nice to her, and I don’t imagine she felt great when she figured out he had been cheating on her probably ruined her self-esteem.
Anyway, now she is in a new bar as a waitress again, and things are back to the way they were before. We would chat every day, video call, and slowly make plans about our future and marriage. But for some reason, it did not feel the same as before. She did not exactly say or do anything to make me feel this way, but you know when you have a weird feeling that something isn’t right it was like that.
Occasionally, she would go out partying with friends and having a good time, but most of the times she would call me once she got home. There were 2 or 3 times that she did not call me after a night out. She just explained she got too drunk and pretty much slept as soon as she got in. I thought she could quite easily have messaged me to say she was going to sleep. Either way, I believed her and trusted her.
The Break-In
It was on one of these nights out with her friends when she called me after she got home. We were chatting, and then I heard the door smash open. I could hear a guy shouting at her in Thai and her shouting back twice as loud. She wanted me to hear because she started shouting in Thai and English that she is on the phone to her boyfriend while saying my name. I was telling her to leave the room and go to a neighbour’s to call the police, but she wasn’t paying any attention to me. He then grabbed the phone, shouted at me saying, “Me wife, me wife,” and just like that, the phone went dead.
I called back a few times, but I was getting no answer. Now I was starting to get extremely worried. I don’t think I got a wink of sleep that night, wondering what had happened. I got one text saying, “I’m ok,” so at least I could put my mind at ease a little.
The next morning, I called her straight away, and she assured me that everything was okay. She explained that it was her friend’s boyfriend, and he was drunk. He came over to the apartment looking for her. This is the first time in our relationship since getting serious that I thought she was lying to me. Even though I had this feeling, I did not question her about it, and we carried on as normal speaking every night. But again, it just did not feel right. I had that horrible feeling in my gut that something was going on that I did not know about.
The Truth Comes Out
After about a week since the incident, I couldn’t take this feeling anymore, and I knew she was being different. We were on a video call together, and I simply said to her, “Look, I know something is going on or you’re hiding something from me. Is everything alright?” She held her head in her hands for a few seconds before breaking down sobbing and saying sorry. This went on for like 5 minutes. She just couldn’t stop crying.
After she composed herself, she told me that the guy that had broken in was her ex-boyfriend that she has a child with. She had never told me about having a child. Not that I would have minded, but it would have been nice of her to let me know. She then told me he had learned from others about our relationship and her coming to the UK to see me. He was full of jealousy and had broken in to try to talk to her and try to win her back.
I asked her if she wanted him back, and she told me that she loves me and wants to be with me she did not love him anymore. I told her that if he breaks in again or harasses her, then she needs to go to the police and have him arrested. This wasn’t an option, as she explained that he still sees their child and did not want the child growing up with the dad in jail.
To say I was angry and upset is an understatement. But I still wanted a future with this woman, so I said if she really loves me and wants to be with me, we can make it work. It would just be a lot harder as there is a child in the picture now. She assured me that this is what she wanted. So again, we go back to normal, and from what I could see, there were no surprise visits from her ex while we were on video chat. She did admit that her ex had found out where she worked and paid a visit to the bar to express his love for her and wanting her back. She did tell me that she just told him to leave, but that night she did not call me, so who knows what really happened.
The Slow Fade
Her replying to me became less frequent and would be short replies. It became a nightmare for me. It felt like I was being obsessive because I would text her all hours of the day, but that’s only because I was worried and wanted to know what was going on. She kept randomly texting me things like, “Sorry that I have involved you in this,” and “I wish things were different.” I would just reply assuring her that I am not going anywhere and I still want us to work.
Then one day, I did not hear from her all day and night. I got a text the next day saying that she had gone to visit family and that the signal is bad. She did not let me know this prior to visiting her family. It wouldn’t have hurt her just to send me one message telling me she’s going there if it’s even a true story. Then another 2 days went by without a reply, call, or message. I knew what was going on, and what was coming. I was just waiting for her to say it.
As I had predicted, I woke up one day to a long message from her basically saying how much she loves me and how much of a good guy I am, and that she’s sorry but she can’t go on with me and did not want me involved in her mess. She had given her ex-boyfriend another chance due to their kid together. I must admit, I saw it coming and knew it was going to happen, but still nothing prepares you for the feeling when it does happen.
Soon after that, my number was blocked, and my messages were not going through. I was blocked on social media, and just like that, we were over.
The Aftermath
The feeling sucks, and I think about her every day. I don’t know if it’s the macho in me that is disappointed she chose him over me, or the fact that I had so many plans for our future let her meet my family, meet my friends, everything. It was all just a waste of time, and I felt so stupid having to explain all of this to my family after I had told them I was in love with her and wanted to get married. My friends had warned me before they met her what could happen, and just like they said, it did happen. I was so hurt that she built me up just to drop me like this.
We haven’t spoken since she sent the message because I was blocked soon after. It was probably him that blocked me, but whatever. I don’t really know why I wrote this story out to you. I thought maybe it’s a good way to express what I’m feeling. I don’t know. But here it is.
I’ve long thought of reasons she put me through this. Some people said she was playing the long game and lying to me from the start, but I can’t see it because she never asked for money, nor did I ever give or offer it. She knew I wasn’t rich, and she could have easily found a rich person, but she stayed with me instead. Other people have said that she used her ex as a cover-up and met a different farang that could offer her more. I just don’t know what to believe.
Breaking up with anyone is hard, no matter how tough you are. But it’s even harder when you are a million miles away from that person and you have been planning your marriage and future with her.
I guess I’ll never really know what happened. But anyway, feel free to share my story.
