Serial Dating In South East Asia
Why I’m Sharing My Story
I wanted to share my story about my adventures in Southeast Asia, specifically with the females there, highlighting the issues that I faced.
I want to be clear that I am in no way an expert in Thailand or other neighbouring countries, like some men claim to be. This is just a story about my personal experiences that some listeners may find useful.
First, let me get some facts out there about me so the listeners know some of my background. I guess the first question would be: why am I sharing my story? And to be honest, I have kept my experiences to myself for the past 3 or 4 years. It’s not to get it off my chest I can’t really tell anyone in my personal life. I also believe that my story and experiences cover a lot of the problems that you hear about in the other stories that have been submitted.
A Little Background
I am from a European country not rich, not poor have had a pretty decent life, and I think I look good for my age, though that is just my opinion. I am fairly fit, full head of hair, and have been married for about 17 years. My occupation has allowed me to travel over Southeast Asia for the past decade. I spend most of my time in the big cities of these countries I have lost count how many times I have been there. Although my business is conducted in the main cities, I have seen a lot of the countryside of these countries. I would say that I have been to Bangkok over 50 times in the last 10 years.
My business trips would be two or three weeks in one country, then going to another country for another two or three weeks that would carry on until it was time to return home. I tend to push the boat out when it comes to accommodation. Back in my younger days, I backpacked around Asia for 6 months, so I know what it’s like living in hostels compared to the 5-star hotels I enjoy today.
Now that’s the boring background out the way let’s get into the nitty-gritty of my story.
The Marriage Was Falling Apart
Up until a few years ago, I had been fully faithful to my wife since I met her never even considered myself flirting with another woman, let alone cheating. And this was the same when I was a million miles away in an Asian country. Of course, I had offers and some girls trying their luck, especially in these big Asian cities, but I would politely decline, showing my wedding ring.
Then one night, that all changed and the events that followed were very life-changing. It’s strange to say that in my forties, I am no longer attracted to Caucasian women and only attracted to Asian women specifically Thais and Filipinas.
So what happened that night? And what started me on this path? Well, it was actually two events that happened pretty much the same time that caused all of this.
Let’s talk about the first thing that happened. My wife’s attitude and personality had changed big time. She was not the same person she was just a few years back. I know people change that’s life but she changed for the worst, and it was very noticeable. She would never be happy, always trying to argue with me, always had a nasty tone and correcting me every time I opened my mouth. She then began drinking heavily. I’m not against the odd drink at home, but this was every night, sometimes noticeably drunk.
At first, I thought maybe it’s me that has the problem, as she would always be blaming me. So rather than giving up on the relationship straight away, I took a step back to see the relationship from her point of view. I tried to figure out where and when I was going wrong. In my eyes, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and it just felt like she was making excuses to argue so she could ditch the relationship.
At that time, I did not want to end the relationship, so I advised she take some time off work, go and talk to a therapist, and we take a little vacation to chill. She was having none of it and again, the problem was not with her, it was with me. It was all my fault, and she was the saint trying to fix things.
To cut this part of the story short, I did try my best to save the relationship, but in the end, she just wasn’t having any of it and I 100% blame her for the breakup. I did not like the person that she had become, and evidently she did not like me anymore. So the decision was made for me to move out.
After a few months of me moving into my new place and giving her some time to fix herself, she wanted me back. And although she apologized and I could see that she meant it and that she was changing, it was already too late my feelings had gone. That being said, we do have kids involved, so I moved back in and gave it another chance, slowly seeing if she would get her act together and we could be happy again.
The Night That Changed Everything
It was during this time apart that I was in Manila, and with the idea that my marriage back home could not be fixed, I now thought of myself as single. This is when the night happened that would change all nights.
I was going through a breakup with my long-time wife top that with going through a small midlife crisis and you have a man that is not thinking straight. After a long flight the day before and working all day the following day, I went out on my own to unwind and have a few beers in Makati. For those that do not know, Makati is in Manila and is home to a street that houses several bars with many woemn hanging out.
I was sitting there enjoying my beer on the balcony part of the bar looking over the street. The next thing I know, I’ve got a stunning young girl hitting on me. Normally, I would have brushed her off and told her that I’m married, but this time I invited her to sit and drink with me. I don’t know despite everything going on in my life right now, I was in a good and jolly mood.
We chatted and drank for a couple of hours. It was a good laugh, and she was very energetic towards me. After a great night with her, I announced that I was going back to the hotel. She replied that she would like to come with me if that was fine with me. I paid the bill including hers and we walked out of the bar and got into a taxi.
But before I knew it, another girl jumped in. Now I’m in the middle of two girls in the back seat. I asked who this was, and the girl that I was with replied that it’s her friend that she came out with tonight, and she has to come with us. I felt a little bit awkward as I did not even speak to this girl or see her, and now she was on her way with us back to my hotel. Well, I did not want to be rude, so I made small talk with her in the taxi, and she seemed pretty fun.
Now I was walking through the lobby with one girl on my left and one girl on my right the look I got from the staff was priceless. Four beers later, they were making their move, taking it in turns spending time together.
What an absolute fantastic night and experience. They left around 5:00 a.m. before we even slept. That night I paid for all the drinks, but other than that, no pesos exchanged hands, nor did they ask for it. I couldn’t really figure out their motive, but who cares what a great night.
The Problem Begins
Here is where the problem starts. I have just had thebest experience I have ever had in my entire life, much better than any other I’ve experienced.
I can pretty much have experiences like that regularly when I travel. I was still married, so technically I had cheated. This was the first time ever I had cheated.
That was the end of that trip, and on the plane flight back home, I decided that I will never be happy again with my wife unless she got back on track and things went back to the way they were. It’s hard going back to her after what I had just experienced. If she was not willing to get things sorted in our relationship, then despite having kids together, we would have to part ways. Obviously, I do not want to lose my children, and as a responsible father, I want what is best for them but I would not be able to live with her anymore.
Deep down, I knew that the marriage was not going to work anymore, and I knew I couldn’t go back to how we were before. I guess I was just kidding myself that this could work. I really did not know what to do for the kids’ sake.
So I’m back in Europe dull weather, boring life, and a manipulating wife. After experiencing those two beautiful Filipinas in the same night, I knew I wasn’t the same anymore. I did not look at my wife the same or have any interest in her whatsoever.
Dating Apps and a New Addiction
One night, curiosity got the better of me. I started looking at dating apps for Asian girls, downloaded and created a profile on ThaiFriendly. I did not want to put myself out there publicly, so I did not upload any pics I just wanted to have a browse around. I did, however, message a few lovelies that I saw on there and told them we could video chat so they could see me, and explained I did not want to put a pic up. I got very little response which is understandable but those that I did get a reply from, we ended up video chatting, and eventually I set a few dates up for my trip to Thailand the following month.
I had set up dates with 3 different women, and when I got there, I felt like I was on a mission changing hotels and details at certain points during the trip. I know I can’t say much here about the time we had together just know that all 3 of them had proper jobs, and as far as I’m aware, were not working in the business. They were all stunning, professional, and we had amazing times together.
I don’t like to blow my own horn, but they were beautiful the type that you would introduce to your friends and family back at home all of them in their late 20s or early 30s.
I took one of these girls clubbing with me after a night in the bars. She said she would come back to the hotel but only to sleep, as she did not do anything on the first night. It was a little disappointing, but hey I’m not paying for anything, so I did not mind. That night at the hotel, I took the sofa and she took the bed being a gentleman and all. That arrangement worked out well for about 2 hours until she dragged me into the bed and outperformed the others. The next night was exactly the same, skipping the part where I am on the sofa for 2 hours.
She later told me that the reason she did not want to do anything together is because she was already married to a farang, but he wasn’t in Thailand. Still, if I knew this, I probably wouldn’t have dated her well, maybe I don’t know. I also caught her lying about little things here and there, which was becoming annoying. But damn, she was so attractive with her huge innocent-looking smile. She claimed that her husband was a big drinker and never showed her much attention, so she would look for it elsewhere. All this was a bit too much for me, and I did not want to get myself involved in some domestic, so we parted ways nicely.
The Addiction Takes Hold
What happened after this girl? I got back on the dating sites. I was hooked. I became addicted to trying to date all these girls. I realized I was living the dream well, my dream anyway. Now I’d set up my profile in multiple Southeast Asian countries and was setting up more dates than I could actually handle. Some of the girls I planned on dating I had already been out with before, but some of them were new to me.
It became actually quite tiring but in a good way. I had to balance work and dating. The hardest part was keeping the girls from finding out about each other. I had to be pretty secretive. I got so busy that I had to get rid of a few and cut ties even if they were very nice I just did not have the time for all of them.
Now the next part of my complicated story.
When I did actually have a free day, I went to a bar on my own again just to relax, unwind, and have some time to myself. My alone time did not last long. I met the most beautiful girl I have ever met she was more attractive than all the others that I had dated. She was great.
She came over to me initially, but I kept the conversation going as I was very attracted to her. I asked her what she did, and she admitted to working sometimes to which I said, “Are you now?” “No,” she replied.
I did not believe she wasn’t working, but I went ahead with it anyway as this would be my first independant woman. We had fun at the bar before making our way back to my hotel.
The night turned to disappointment. Yeah, she was very beautiful, but the time together was absolutely terrible.
clearly she has not been doing it for too long. In the end, we just stopped and started talking for the rest of the night. I guess I’m going to have to teach her a thing or two.
She was telling me about her life. She’s from the north. She’s only had 1 boyfriend, and that was a long-time Thai guy that ditched her when she got pregnant with their son. She’s in her late 20s, though she looks much younger than that. Don’t worry I checked her ID, and it all checks out.
I decided I wanted to see her again, despite the hotel room activity. So I took her number, and on my next business trip to Thailand, I took some leave that I had and had a week in Northern Thailand to see her family. I heard about the way people live up there and the poverty that goes on. As my girl was working, I was thinking that her family did not have a penny to their name.
I was surprised to turn up to a big and nice family home a couple of cars and it turns out that she has a job there, helping her friend do nails or something. Which obviously led me to ask her: why are you working? She replied that she does not go with anyone that she does not like she is picky and said she only does this because her friend asked her to come to Bangkok and she was bored at home.
That’s not exactly the answer I was expecting. I did not realize anyone does this type of work out of boredom.
Time was fun with this one. I did enjoy being around her. The problem was, she asked for money a lot. I don’t mind girls asking me for money I will happily give it if they are giving me a good time and I am having fun. This girl just asked for it too often and too much each time. Despite her being the most beautiful girl out of all my dates, I just had to let her go. Even to this day, I still have pictures and videos of us together that I sometimes look at, but I’ll never contact her again.
Living a Lie
I’m back home once again, living a complete lie. But everything goes on as normal for the children, who are very happy. Me and my wife have no connection at all at this point, and I am sleeping in my own room but other than that, we are not fighting. I’m sure viewers will be thinking, “Why doesn’t he just leave?” I will leave I just don’t know when and how. I have to consider my children. I need my departure to work for everyone.
So what exactly changed for me to end up here? There is not really a simple answer I wish there was. It’s really a bunch of things all combined that I will share in my conclusion. But a big factor is how Asian women and Western women act. I think Asian women are just easier to connect with and overall have better personalities and are a lot more caring. This is completely my opinion, and I am only going off of the girls that I have dated. I just loved the way I was treated by these girls it’s totally different from the women back at home.
I have dated around 20 girls in 3 different countries, and a couple of women in Thailand. I dated 15 of them more than once and spend time with all of them.
3 of them I saw on a regular basis and would class them as girlfriends rather than dates. These are 2 Thai girls and 1 Filipina. We chat on a daily basis, and I see them every month or two when I am in their country. On occasions, I have even flown them to the country I am in if I can’t get to them.
Ideally, I should have just chosen 1 and not strung the others along. But it was hard because I was living the dream and having a great experience I was getting away with having them all. Plus, I didn’t know which one would have made the best girlfriend.
The One
Later, one of the 3 turned out to be perfection to me. And this one was the least one I’d expect for me to take a liking to because the first date wasn’t exactly the best I have had. She was the oldest of all the girls I have dated at 37 years old but she looks absolutely amazing. Not the sharpest tool in the shed when you try to talk about certain topics, but that’s fine I’m not looking to date a scientist. One thing I learned with my wife, who is very intelligent, is that they will always cut you off and tell you why you are wrong in whatever you are talking about. Intelligent people want you to know just how clever they are. That’s my experience anyway.
Anyway, let’s call this skinny delight “Fah.”
So after a few years living a complete lie, running my life like a military operation while keeping the wife at bay, I created a bunch of new challenges. First challenge is that I have been a dog and have 3 lovely and beautiful girlfriends that don’t know about each other. I know that I can’t run this long-term I am bound to get caught eventually and will more than likely lose my favourite, Fah.
Next challenge is that despite everything and the situation, I am still married. Yes, I want to leave, but my conscience won’t let me go. So what can I do? Keep living my life like a military operation as long as I can, string them all along until it all blows up in my face? Or just break up with all of them, become single, and smash my way around Southeast Asia until they put the nails in the coffin?
The problem is that Fah is absolutely my dream woman, and if I had to do life all over again, I would meet her first. She’s 10 years younger than me, doesn’t work in the bar scene, has a decent job, beautiful looking, likes to have fun on the weekend, and according to her, I am the only farang she has been with. She does not have children, and I told her fairly early about my children and stated that I do not want anymore she was fine with that. She does not ask me for money, I get along great with her family, and she is the best girl to stay with in terms of taking care of you.
And that is where I am currently at. I am at a crossroads.
My Conclusions
Now time for my conclusion:
Number 1: If you are new to dating in Southeast Asia for bedroom fun only, it’s a very slippery slope and hard to stop. When I wasn’t out on dates or spending the nights chatting on dating apps to set one up, I would find myself in bars chatting to women working in nightlife and other women.
So if you are weak, or currently not emotionally stable, I advise not to go down this path. I’m not saying don’t date but date for the right reasons and not just to have fun at the end. Treat them with respect.
Number 2: It has been said on many submissions on your channel, and in the comments: “If you have to pay for a relationship, then you are not in a real relationship.” And I completely agree with those guys. They will not make a good long-term partner. When the money runs out, so will they.
Number 3: Some of the listeners may disagree with me, but I’m proof: you can actually find the perfect lady on dating apps. Now, I know the apps are full of ladies looking for customers, but you just have to weed through them and let them know your intentions straight away. Put in your bio that you are not looking for paid fun make it very clear from the get-go. It’s still not easy to find the perfect mate you will have to go on many dates and do a lot of chatting online. Also, don’t sleep with everyone on the first date show them that you are serious. There are many liars on dating sites it’s a skill to weed out the bad from the good but it’s fun doing so. It really is a numbers game.
Number 4: I know this is hypocritical of me because of my situation, but I wish I did differently. When you do meet the one you want to be with, you should drop all the others and don’t do what I did. Stop being a butterfly. I should have done it months ago when I realized that Fah was the one I wanted to be with.
Number 5: If you do not travel to Asia many times a year and only for a couple of weeks, then forget finding a long-term relationship it won’t last in most cases. At first, once you first get into a relationship, it’s okay to do the long-distance thing for a while, but if one of you doesn’t move soon, then you’re going to get bored eventually.
Number 6 ties into Number 5: If you are going to be in a serious relationship, then you need to be together but will she be happy in your country? If none of you are ready to actually move to another country, then you both need to split the time between each other’s countries. Like for me, even though I am in Asia a lot and can make a long-term relationship work, I still wouldn’t like to live there permanently. So arrange a solid plan with your partner that you are both happy with and stick to it to make it work.
Number 7: Even though I have done 90% of my search for girls using dating sites or bars, that’s not the only place to find girls. If you are brave enough and confident, you can always talk to girls in malls, coffee shops, and hotels. If you ask them on a date what’s the worst they can say? No?
Number 8: If you are having problems at home, do not go to Southeast Asia. I have noticed that a lot of submissions (including mine) on your channel start with the guy going through a divorce. If you are having troubles at home with your girlfriend or wife, then don’t go to Southeast Asia especially if it’s your first time. Once you see the beautiful smile of a Thai girl and how sweet they are, you really are not going to care about the woman back at home giving you a tough time. It will certainly be the end of the marriage once you step off that plane.
And last but not least Number 9: Don’t do what I do. Either have your mind made up if you either want a serious relationship or a bit of fun don’t have both. You will only end up hurting people and messing your own mind up as well. Either come to Thailand as a short term visitor wanting fun, or come as the respectful man that is looking for a lifelong partner.
And most importantly have fun along the way. Life is too short.
So what the hell has gone wrong? There is no easy answer to that, and it’s a combination of things in my opinion. I will touch on them in the conclusions at the end, but Western women’s attitudes are one of them. I sit at the table with one of my girlfriends from Thailand, and she puts food on my plate and fills my glass.
I get out of the shower, and the hotel room has been tidied a bit and my clothes folded despite me saying repeatedly that it’s not needed but they still say they want to do it, and they ALL like doing it. They will also were very open in relationships without any hesitation on any day of the week or any time of day. They are just very attractive all of the ones I have met anyway Thai, Filipina, and Indonesian.
They understand a man thinks with his emotions, and if you treat them like a gentleman, look like one, and have some charm and banter, they will be eager to please in many ways, including the emotions.
I have also witnessed that they can read your moods too and deal with them intelligently. If you bark a bit loud one early morning because you got out of bed the wrong side, the Filipina will ignore it (at least visibly), the Thai will give you a look but not say too much as long as you patch it up a bit later. Your Western girl, however, will tell you where to get off straight away. Also, your Western woman in my experience will then develop a mood herself, which you then have to subdue and spend the rest of the day(s) compensating in one way or another.
I am not saying every Asian lovely is better than your average Western girl as there will be good and bad on both sides. It does seem however that a higher percentage of Asian girls are more placid (I don’t want to use the word submissive) than their Western counterparts.
In my opinion, the Thai is the more beautiful specimen of the Southeast Asian races and has looks advantages in terms of height and figure, but the Filipina has the better “wife” qualities won’t drain your wallet and be worried about getting the latest iPhone.
I guess I should put down a few statistics from the dating sites and my 2½ years of self-inflicted bliss.
