A Young Mans Pattaya Experience

I’m quite young compared to your average story hero. I’m now in my late 20s and I haven’t been to the Thailand bar scene before. I have never paid for girls directly in my life and I don’t drink much. I work out and I’m fit. I have a full head of hair there’s nothing wrong with my appearance and I don’t have any extra weight. I think I’m above average looking and also quite financially successful making well above six figures per year.

The problem I have with the girls here is that a lot of them are somewhat overweight or even slightly overweight which matters a lot to me for some reason. I wish I didn’t care as much but it is hard for me to feel physically attracted and go on a first date with these types of girls.

Sometimes I see beautiful girls on the streets here but it’s difficult for me to approach them. I have never matched with any of these girls online. Even when I go to bars talking to them is usually quite difficult and there is usually not much interest from them.

Maybe it’s my problem but I would say that a lot of guys I know have a similar issue where girls here are quite picky. Many guys are attractive and readily available making it harder to stand out.

However I was quite successful in dating when I visited Russia for just a couple of weeks. The dating apps there are very good. You can meet very beautiful girls who are genuinely happy to chat with you on Tinder. It’s not as casual as it is in the USA. There are many girls trying to find a long term boyfriend and ideally a future husband. I would take them to dinner and it would be a very good experience.

First Trip to Pattaya

During the new year of 2023 I visited my best friend for two weeks. He was living in Pattaya with his girlfriend and I decided to spend time with him. I actually never really heard much about Pattaya or the whole bar scene. I had this perception that Pattaya is this famous place where a lot of people drink and it’s a dirty capital.

When I arrived in Pattaya I was jet lagged from California and not having much fun because I was always tired. It was hard for me to get used to things. For example my friend was living in an apartment but he didn’t have any coffee or much food in his house. Sometimes it was too cold from the air conditioner or when you opened the door it was too hot. It took me like half of the trip just to get used to where to eat what to buy and other things.

During the first week I tried to use dating apps. I tried Tinder and Thai Friendly but neither of them really worked for me. I got quite a few matches maybe 20 or 30 different girls. Especially on Thai Friendly it’s really confusing to determine whether someone is actually interested or just checking you out.

I would spend several hours chatting with different girls and it was really frustrating. Sometimes I would spend entire evenings trying to have a conversation. We would talk for two or three days then I would move to Instagram to continue the conversation and eventually invite them on a date. However it would turn out that all the girls who kept responding and showed interest were actually freelancers and they would reveal their price at the end.

I was confused because it wasn’t obvious from their profiles. I felt like I had wasted a lot of time. As a result I didn’t end up meeting anyone from online dating apps. Overall it was a bad experience for me.

We didn’t go out partying much but I was interested in meeting girls. Towards the end of my trip we tried going to a few bars in the last week for a few nights. My friend was already in a long term relationship and he only went out because of me. He wasn’t the best company since he wasn’t that interested and he wanted to go home early.

Soi Six and Walking Street

We went to Soi Six and tried to talk to the girls but we didn’t even know how the whole process worked. We were unaware that there were lady drinks that had an extra cost. We knew something was happening there but we didn’t understand the specifics. Luckily nothing bad happened. We simply sat there with a girl and talked a bit before leaving.

Afterwards we went to Walking Street where we received an unexpectedly high amount of attention. Different groups of girls would invite us to their tables at nightclubs. They would extend invitations for us to join them where they had a bottle and we would drink for free with them. This could be because we’re young or perhaps nightclubs offer other promotions to some girls.

I believe the first four girls we met were friends of a dancer girl which is why they were able to secure a free table. We met them again later but nothing really developed between me and any of the girls.

Then on another night we went to Republic on Walking Street and encountered a couple of girls who invited us to join their table. One of them looked at me while we stood in the middle. This experience feels surreal to me coming from California where if you’re just a guy standing around not really doing anything you’re practically invisible to girls.

If there’s nothing exciting happening around you if you’re not actively having fun and you’re just standing looking around it’s considered very unattractive and unappealing to almost all girls unless maybe you’re a super handsome man in the top few percent.

However in Thailand particularly in Pattaya I felt incredibly strange being looked at and making eye contact with attractive girls even when I wasn’t doing anything. I would just stand there and they would look at me invite us to join them and then they would be friendly and open to meeting again.

Last Few Days Feeling Sick

During my last few days I fell sick. I had a runny nose felt tired and I think I may have caught a cold. But those were my final days and I really wanted to go out.

The Nightclub Encounter

On the last night I woke up at 5 PM. I slept for 14 or 15 hours. I bought some Red Bulls from 7 Eleven and some pain relievers for my headache. I went around 10 PM and walked around. It was so difficult to choose somebody no one stood out. As I reached the end of the street I thought ‘Okay I just need to go somewhere.’

I ended up at this bar where I randomly picked a cute girl and started talking to her. We kind of became friends but I didn’t want to take her out. After that I went to Lucifer on Walking Street. I was dancing on the stage and bought a bottle of vodka. I came with a girl I didn’t really like so I mostly ignored her and she left quite soon.

While I was dancing another cute girl joined me on the stage. We danced together and it was already 5 AM. I had been dancing for around two or three hours.

I prefer nightclubs in Pattaya for meeting girls more than other places. I think if you’re younger and interested in meeting someone…

I believe it could be both but there is a higher chance of meeting someone who is evaluating you based on whether they like you rather than just if you would pay them or not. Nightclubs also attract a younger crowd. Most guys there are in their 30s so I feel like I belong there more because it’s closer to my age group. The dynamic feels less like an obvious business transaction.

I danced there for two hours jumping into the loud music with these girls beside me. By 5 AM we had to leave the club. She was with a friend and suddenly she got super drunk dropped her glass on the floor and almost fell. Then we were leaving and she was like ‘Okay you have to pay me three thousand Baht to go with me.’

The Price Request

I guess maybe I’m naive but I was surprised. I said ‘Come on didn’t you like me? You were dancing next to me you were paying attention to me.’ She was also very drunk. I was not really interested in paying. She and her friend said ‘No no it’s 3000 Baht.’ I said no and they left on a motorbike.

Meeting Joy

Earlier while I was dancing with this girl I saw another cute girl staring at me from the middle of the club. Her name was Joy. I didn’t want to obviously hit on other girls but I would go to the toilet and kind of make a circle around the club and talk to Joy. I would say ‘Come on come to our table. I’ve got a bottle. Come dance with me.’ She was like ‘No you’ve got a girl. There is a girl next to you.’

So I exchanged Instagram with her. When the second girl asked for three thousand Baht I said no. I texted Joy asking if she wanted to hang out and she said ‘Yeah let’s go party.’

We met outside of Lucifer and went to The Tunnel Club which I think is open until very late. We were dancing there with her and her friend. She got quite drunk. She was buying beers I would just give her some cash to buy but I think we already had enough. Yet they kept bringing more.

In the end around 6 AM or 7 AM we were outside and her friend became very serious and looked at me saying ‘You have to pay three thousand Baht if you take her home.’ Joy didn’t say anything. I really didn’t feel like Joy was doing it for money. It wasn’t very obvious because she was all over me in the nightclub. I did not try to hold her I did not try to dance next to her she was always putting her arms around me. I felt that she was interested.

So I lied to her friend ‘okay’ but I wasn’t going to pay. I felt that paying for aerobics is not something I’m interested in. Being young the value of being intimate with someone for me is to feel light and to have something happen between us on an emotional level. However I still said yes to her friend because I didn’t want to argue but in the end I regretted it. I think I should have said no and not lied.

It’s funny that much later her friend said she was joking when she asked me for money.

Joy After Lucifer

So we went to my friend’s apartment because my friend wasn’t home at the time. I took a shower then she took a shower. While in the shower she saw my friend’s girlfriend’s accessories and cosmetics and she got really upset. She was pointing her middle finger at my face while we were both already naked. She was still very angry.

I gave her my phone which was probably also a mistake and she started scrolling through it. There were pictures of random girls I had taken who I just met for a few hours and never saw again. These girls were just acquaintances and I’d never slept with them but she got upset thinking that I was cheating on someone with her.

Nevertheless I tried to explain that the other girl’s stuff here belonged to my friend’s girlfriend. I showed her pictures of them in the exact apartment. After some time she calmed down and we had aerobics.

Joy was the only girl I had aerobics with in Thailand. We were both somewhat drunk and I think it would have been better if we hadn’t been drunk.

I had my flight on the same day at around 2 PM so I woke her up at 10 AM and called her a taxi. I gave her 500 Baht for the taxi. I really didn’t want to pay the whole amount because I felt like I would feel bad being scammed or misled. I gave her 500 Baht and she went home. I left Thailand.

Returning to California and Deciding to Go Back

When I came back to California I was really surprised at how different life was here. How appealing the nightlife was in Thailand how much friendlier the girls were and how much I felt needed and attractive. I really wanted to go again because the California dating scene was a big drag for me.

Here I feel unattractive and not needed. I try very hard and still if I match with someone on a dating app I get very few responses. I try to reply with something funny and then they ghost me. It’s not a pleasant experience. In Thailand they were really affectionate and attentive and it was much more pleasant.

That was in early January. When I came back I decided to go again. I thought ‘Why not?’ So I booked a flight for the end of April.

During the first month of coming back I was chatting quite a lot with two of the girls. They would sometimes randomly call me while I was in the gym and it would be fun to talk and try to have a conversation even though both of them didn’t speak much English. We always had to rely on Google Translate. None of them ever asked about money.

I think as my arrival drew closer I started chatting with them less and less. I told them I was coming but naturally there wasn’t much to talk about. Occasionally with this third girl I would send a heart and tell her that I was waiting to see her again and she would reply that she was waiting for me. But that’s about it.

The Second Trip Alone

At the end of April the day finally came and I flew back to Pattaya. This time alone without my friend. I booked a hotel on Soi Buakhao. This was the start of a new adventure.

I asked Joy if she wanted to meet me at the airport and she said she couldn’t. I thought ‘Okay maybe she has someone else. Maybe it won’t work out between me and her.’ Originally I was hoping to spend the whole week with her but I wasn’t sure if it would happen. I thought that in the worst case I would just hang out with new girls.

When I arrived she was not available right away. So I met a different Joy from Soi Six. We just went to have dinner and talked. I didn’t have to pay a bar fine even though it was only midnight. Joy said it was because she wasn’t going to a hotel with me. Then with her friends we went to a nightclub where I stayed for a short period before heading to Walking Street.

One great thing I did differently this time was not changing my sleeping schedule due to the California difference. I would wake up every day at around 9 PM and go to bed around noon. Essentially I had the whole night to myself feeling energetic and not sleepy. The downside was not being able to do any activities or go anywhere due to the time difference. Sometimes it was challenging to find a place to eat since many establishments closed at 10 PM.

In the future if I come again I want to wake up around 7 PM. But it was great partying until 6 AM and feeling energized.

The Conversation

I met Joy around 2 AM on my first day and then we barely found a place to eat. Afterwards we went to my gym. I wanted to go to the gym and I was like ‘You should come with me.’ She was just sitting there wondering why I had to exercise at 4 AM but it was actually a normal time for me accounting for the time difference. It was so funny she sat there with me just looking. Then we went to my hotel room.

I decided to have a long conversation with her. I think it took about half an hour or an hour where I would use the translator app and type long detailed messages on my laptop about how I feel about her. I wanted to be honest and I think I was always honest with her.

I told her that it is very hard for us to be together and that we will not be together after this one week. We are very different. We live in different countries. I don’t want her to have any expectations or hopes for the future with me. So that was the deal. I offered to her to just spend this week with me. I would be happy to be with her. I want to spend these seven days just with her but that’s it. There is no future after this.

I also told her that I am not willing to pay anything for her time with me. I mentioned that I’ve heard a lot of stories where relationships are just kind of like work for girls and men are just customers. I didn’t want to be one of those customers where the girl fakes emotions. I wanted someone who liked me for me. I didn’t want money to be a factor.

I told her that after seven days we may never see each other again and I’m not going to pay her anything now or in the future. I asked her to make the decision and wanted her to decide what would be best for her.

She thought about this and was not happy that it was going to end in one week. She didn’t talk about money at all. Instead she mostly expressed sadness over not seeing each other again after just one week.

Joy Checks the Apartment

Despite her reservation she agreed and said that it would be a good memory for her. She was willing to spend this time with me.

The Week Together

So she moved in and stayed with me for the whole trip. We were together for seven days. She brought some of her clothes. We were always together and she never left me. We spent almost every hour of the trip together. She didn’t have any other meetings work or friends she had to meet during our time together.

Our typical schedule would be wake up around 9 PM go somewhere to eat maybe come back to the hotel around 3 or 4 AM. We would go to Walking Street spend some time at a bar or nightclub before returning to the hotel. We had a great breakfast at about 6 AM treating it as our dinner. Later in the day we would either stay in and go to bed around 10 AM or go somewhere for sightseeing before returning and sleeping.

We also met her friends at clubs and it was quite fun hanging out with them.

The Ups and Downs

Our time together had its ups and downs. She behaved like she genuinely liked me but often she was quite jealous and upset. The fact that I was still friends with some of the girls I met on my first trip bothered her. Sometimes she would see a message from someone on Instagram or a picture so I was afraid to show her my phone picture gallery because there might be a picture of me sitting with a girl.

This made her quite upset and she would always accuse me of lying whenever I told her that I liked her or that I didn’t have any other girls here except her. She didn’t believe me. She was very quiet and not talkative most of the time.

I still felt like she liked me and wanted to be with me. She didn’t move out to end this time with me but she would not talk to me much. I would often translate my thoughts and ask her to tell me what she’s feeling but she would often turn away and not talk. By the way she’s 21 so perhaps this is also age related.

Another thing I didn’t like is that she was always on her phone watching TikTok while I would be hugging and kissing her.

The only actual thing I think I did that was legitimately upsetting is that I did go to Soi Six three times during this week. I told her about this and she was understandably not very happy about it.

I would have these long translator conversations with her. It’s very interesting to just talk to them and see how they think what their stories or tricks are and see how I would be myself in this situation. I would not touch them. I would just sit against the wall in the bar and talk to them.

Joy Agrees to the Week

The girls would sometimes put their hands on my knees but I would not show any physical interest. I just wanted to talk to them. It only happened like three nights for two hours at a time. It was not that much. But she was quite upset about it.

I’m glad I was able to go a little bit and don’t regret talking to anyone and just seeing how I would feel in those bars. I would also say that after going once or twice I felt like it was not that interesting. To really get to know someone I would have to spend more time with them. I also wouldn’t want it to be very transactional.

I guess I have this thing in my mind about not paying directly for time for some reason. So yeah I was kind of bored in the bars because it didn’t feel genuine. I didn’t really want to spend that much time.

I was quite upset with her attitude. Most of the time she was quite jealous and kind of angry or upset at me. The second part that I didn’t like is that she was not very physical or touchy with me. I would always try to hug her and kiss her but she would not really respond. She would just kind of turn away and let me kiss her but not really kiss back. Sometimes she would but not as often as I would want.

Also aerobics she did not show that much interest. I would have it once a day or once in two days which is less often than I would have initially wanted. I guess she was just not as into it as I was.

Getting to Know Joy

Talking more about Joy I tried to ask her what she does for a living and she wouldn’t really tell me initially. But by the end of the trip I think she said more and I think I kind of believe her. I think some people would say that she’s also a working girl probably at a bar or somewhere. But I think there are good reasons to believe that she isn’t.

First of all she’s quite young so only recently came to Pattaya. She said she had been here for maybe half a year. She recently found out that he was lying to her about many things and she said she broke up with him. She showed me some pictures where she was in a beauty salon taking pictures of hairstyles she was doing. I think that is also one of the jobs she had in the past. She said she plans to do that again in the future.

Overall I’m happy that she never asked me for any money. She never mentioned it. She never had anything to do with money. She never wanted to go shopping. It was never a topic. By the end she even told me that she did not want any money from me.

The fact that I was taking her to more expensive restaurants where we would spend about 1500 Baht on a meal for both of us made her feel bad because she thought it was a waste of money and would rather spend it on something else.

She never asked me where I worked or what I do or how much money I have. She was just concerned about potential girlfriends she thought I was having.

I think the only time she ever asked me for money was when we went to a nightclub and she said ‘Give me 2000 Baht for a bottle’ that she wanted to buy because she felt like getting drunk that night. That’s basically the actual price of the bottle so I don’t think she was really benefiting much from it.

Soi Six Conversations

She was surprised why I did not have a girlfriend or why I wanted to see her. She also thought she was not beautiful. Whenever I would tell her that she’s pretty she would always say no. In all of her pictures she would cover her face because she doesn’t think she looks that good.

The Goodbye

On the last day I tried to talk to her about the fact that it’s ending soon. I’m happy we spent time together. She was very sad. She cried a lot on the last day. She accompanied me to the airport and we said goodbye there.

When I was entering the departure area I gifted her my old phone which is probably worth $200 and I also gave her about $200 USD. She didn’t ask for it. She even messaged me asking what she should do with the money. I just thought it could cover some of her living expenses during the time she spent with me. Maybe she would need the money for some day to day things.

I’m not planning to send her money and I hope she will not ask for it.

I’m not sure if I’ll see her again. I would like to go to Bangkok maybe in a year and stay there and hopefully see her again. But I don’t want to have a serious relationship with her because first of all we’re too different. Anything serious is a big deal for me. If I’m with someone then I cannot be with anyone else. I would be faithful and I would not want to spend a lot of time with someone that seems unlikely to be a great marriage candidate.

I think even though she’s a good girl she’s just not ideal especially given her attitude. But perhaps it will improve as she gets older.

In the end I would say I still really enjoyed spending time with someone who liked me who seemed to care about how I feel and who was willing to spend this whole week with me without really asking for anything in return. I don’t think she got that much from me except for the fact that I was trying to be caring towards her and was very affectionate always hugging and kissing her.

Joy and Her Life

In the end she was crying and saying she’s heartbroken so I’m not even sure if that was an overall positive experience for her. I asked her several times if she regretted it and she said no but it’s hard to tell.

I still hope to keep in touch with her but I expect this to fade away over time and just remain as a good memory.