Heartbreak and Bangkok Freelancer Red Flags

I’m a 33 year old guy from the UK. I’ve had eight previous trips to Pattaya. Not sure this story is applicable but might be worthwhile as a cautionary tale for fellow travelers.

The lady arrives and we complete a sweaty session of aerobics. She leaves and I get some sleep. I wake an hour later feeling nauseous and light headed. I go to the toilet in case I need to vomit. I’m standing looking in the mirror. Next thing I’m face down on the floor not remembering why I decided to lie down on the floor in my bathroom. I came to the realization that I’ve passed out. I slowly stand up leaning on the sink feeling numb. Things go black and again I wake up on the floor passing out for a second time but this time my face is wet with my blood. This time I can’t stand up or raise myself. I lay on the floor. I slowly drag myself into the bedroom and lay on the floor. After an hour I have the strength to pull myself into bed.

All I think about is not getting blood on the white bed sheets.

I can barely sleep. I have pain through my whole body and I’m feeling incredibly groggy and shocked. After rest I’m able to get out of bed. I inspect the damage. Not much sign of blood on the bed apart from some smears. A lot of blood on the bathroom floor but luckily the bum gun is shockingly powerful and makes quick work of blasting it all down the drain. I check myself in the mirror. I have a small gash on the right side of my head a couple of inches above my temple. I have five large bruises on my shins. On my shoulder blade I have a large friction burn. I most likely have a broken tailbone also due to the dull pain in my lower back and I cannot sit straight. I feel like I’ve been beaten and kicked all over.

I go back to bed. I was trying to figure out what happened and it suddenly hits me something similar happened on my last trip six months ago. On my last trip I was spending the night at a girl’s apartment as she preferred that she has a normal day job and it made it easier for her. That night we had a meal together. I brought some blue pills from a pharmacy on Soi Diana and we enjoyed an evening together. I woke up in the night with my stomach gargling and I rushed to the toilet. I had diarrhea and then vomited. While I was composing myself on the toilet I blacked out but luckily didn’t fall to the floor instead fell against the wall. I stood to wash my face at the sink and blacked out again.

I woke up face down on the floor confused not remembering making the decision to sleep on the bathroom floor. On this occasion I only had a bit of soreness on my ribs and hip from the fall. Luckily my Thai girl slept through the whole thing. I had food poisoning that lasted a few days so I put the fainting down to that and not the medication.

Bathroom Falls and Medication Warning

I had just bought from a pharmacy a product that I had used before with no issues. Not sure why this happened. Not sure whether if it’s a dodgy batch that the pills come from. I’ve lost 85 pounds in the last year or so. Not sure if this means the dose was too much for me now. I’m going to play it safe and stop using this kind of bedroom medication even though I don’t need it. Since my weight loss I still like to take it as a guarantee and it certainly made me stronger in the aerobics department but it’s not worth the risk. I feel lucky I didn’t hurt myself worse considering the situation. All the falls happened in bathrooms and the falls could have been much worse and I could have got a serious injury from hitting my head on the toilet or bath.

I started going back out after two nights after the incident. The girls were impressed with my leg bruises all were adamant it must have been a bike incident and they showed off their scars. Three days later I caught an STD while getting a special massage so no more aerobics for the rest of my trip.

Not much success on this trip but this player is no quitter so I won’t let this put me off. I’m planning my next trip in six months’ time.

Tomboy Club Broken Promise and a Little Girls Heart

I was hooked to these go go bars from the start. I could not forget everything happened in my personal life. I really like the music in some of the go go bars in Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy in Bangkok. After trial and error I became regular to one go go bar in Nana Plaza and one go go bar in Soi Cowboy. I would spend quite a bit every day in these go go bars and just sit there for five to six hours enjoying the music and company of the girls. I bar fined a couple of girls a few times and just took them out for dinner or playing pool in other bars. I never had aerobics with these girls but believe me everything else was done inside the go go bars which I preferred.

It’s a bit of a different story in Pattaya. As I am of an Indian origin some of the go go bars in Pattaya Walking Street wouldn’t allow me inside. Some of them allowed me only after seeing a copy of my British passport. One bar in particular welcomed me without asking anything. The mamasan even guessed that I’m from England and she told me her reasoning behind this situation with me and some go go bars. I won’t explain that here as it may sound a bit odd. This may help some Indian or Indian origin travelers have a better experience in Pattaya as many freelancers I have spoken to told me very similar points.

Anyway I started to enjoy my time in this go go bar and become a regular. I didn’t want to go to any others on Walking Street as they were not welcoming me and the girls in this go go bar are better looking anyway. I would spend about 4000 to 5000 baht on average per night and have three girls sit with me regularly on their entire shift. Again I did everything but aerobics. One of these girls even went to a couple of nightclubs with me on her day off without asking for any money.

One girl who is about 21 and the most beautiful Thai girl I’ve ever met let’s call her Knock. She asked that I bar fine her before I go back to England. So I did. The bar fine for her was 2500 baht and she wanted 3000 baht for herself for the night. I met her in Tree Town for a quick snack around 900 p.m. and planned to go to some Walking Street clubs. I met a few guys on this trip who opened a VIP table in a nightclub and invited me to join them. So I went there with Knock. All of them congratulated me for having a very beautiful girl with me and felt jealous.

After 15 minutes or so Knock told me she didn’t like Western music and that she wants me to experience a Thai nightclub. I do like Thai music so I said “Why not?” She then told me her sister works in a tomboy club and I can experience a different type of Thai club if I go there. I was not comfortable but I said okay in the end as I was planning to have aerobics with her later and I didn’t want to upset her by saying no.

Off we went in a taxi and arrived at this tomboy club. As soon as we went inside four or five tomboys jumped on her and thanked her for bringing me. I have to say I really enjoyed the music and the whole experience there. I’m not into whiskey but they made me drink 20 shots of Thai whiskey somehow and I was drunk. We were there drinking and dancing until 500 a.m. and I told Knock that it’s time to go back to the hotel. The total bill was about 10000 baht for the two bottles of Thai whiskey I bought and tomboy time they drink from these bottles but you pay 250 baht per hour for their time.

Knock Breaks the Hotel Promise

We went to the hotel at 530 a.m. and I told her that I really enjoyed the night out and I was looking forward to taking it to the next level. She then told me she needs to leave by 600 a.m. as this was the maximum time she could spend and asked me to pay 6000 baht. I knew she told me it’s 3000 baht previously. I was very disappointed with the whole thing and in no mood to argue with her. I gave her 6000 baht and told her to leave immediately. Off she went not even looking back.

After this day I never went to that go go bar again as I know I will be upset as soon as I see her face. In hindsight I did realize I spent far too much money in these go go bars. I still think I would go to these settings on my next trip but stick to one girl at a time and not spend too much money. Definitely no aerobics with these girls though. I had my fair share of freelancers. I met a couple of them in Bangkok near my hotel and had a decent experience with them. We went to beer bars played pool and had dinner together and then back to the hotel.

In Pattaya I met a few girls in Walking Street nightclubs and went back to my hotel with them a few times. I never did short time that’s not my style. Most of these girls wanted 3000 baht for a long time so I went along with this option as it gave me enough time to get to know them a little bit before the action started.

Far Refuses Money in Pattaya

I met one girl on Thai Friendly she’s 23 let’s call her Far. I first contacted her on my second trip to Thailand and she took me to some live music clubs in Pattaya. She never asked me to buy food in a restaurant she simply brought a few bits from 7 Eleven including a couple of drinks. She didn’t want me to spend money on expensive drinks in clubs and bars. We had great aerobics and I gave her 4000 baht per meet. The same continued in my third trip too. I was chatting to Far sometimes on the Line app after returning back to England. I informed her about my plans to visit Pattaya again and she expressed her happiness.

This was my most recent and fourth trip where I spent a month in Thailand. She suddenly went silent a few weeks before my trip. I called her one day and she was crying. After asking what happened she told me she was ill for a few days and the doctor told her that she would reduce her alcohol intake. She showed me a lot of medicine and her hospital scans etc. She told me she didn’t work for a couple of weeks and she’s feeling stressed about paying rent etc. but never asked me for any money. After a couple of days I asked her to send me a scanned copy of her ID and I transferred 8000 baht to her. She called me to thank me and said I don’t need to pay her the next time when I meet her on my upcoming trip to Pattaya.

I arrived in Pattaya as planned and she came to my hotel on that day. I took her out for a walk and asked her about her health etc. We went back to the hotel and had a good night. After breakfast in the morning she said she wants to go to her apartment and come back in the evening if I wanted her to. I said I will meet her the next day as I was planning to go to go go bars. She started walking out of the hotel but didn’t ask for any money. I decided to give her 4000 baht anyway but she refused. I arranged to meet her again the next day and we also spent the night together. She refused to take money again.

I took her for a morning walk and I asked her about her life. She told me that she doesn’t go out to meet many new customers unless they meet her for a drink or dinner first so she can get to know them a little. She has a few regular customers that she meets when they come to visit Pattaya. As a result she doesn’t earn money every day but she is still spending money on nights out with her friends drinking and dancing. This means she has no savings and she is always feeling stressed about her rent and bills. She has a five year old daughter living in Pattaya in the same apartment and looked after by her mother who also works in a local market cooking Thai food on a stall. She gave birth to her daughter when she was 17 and the Thai boyfriend disappeared shortly after the birth.

Her daughter has never seen her father.

I asked a bit more about her daughter and saw the pictures. Her daughter was lovely. I didn’t have kids myself and I thought I would treat this kid. I asked Far to meet me outside the hotel the next day and bring her daughter with her. I took them both to the Pattaya Dolphin Show. The kid was shy at the beginning and slowly started looking at me and asking if she could sit on my lap as she couldn’t see the dolphins probably from her seat. I was surprised by this as she didn’t ask Far but came to me instead. After the show I bought her some sweets and asked if she wants to buy anything else. She told me she wants to buy a kid’s scooter. I promised her that I will buy that scooter soon.

Daughters Savings Plan in Pattaya

After a couple of days I met Far again in the daytime in my hotel. When she was leaving in the evening I sat her down and gave her two envelopes with 5000 baht in each one. I wrote her daughter’s name on each of these envelopes. I told Far that I helped her when she was stressed out about money but I didn’t want to pay her for the time that she spends with me since she refused to take money for the first two meetings. I didn’t want to give her money again and instead gave the money to her daughter. I opened the calculator app on her phone and showed her how much she can save in five years if she can save 5000 baht per month in an envelope for her daughter every month. She was shocked and said it’s not difficult to save 5000 baht a month.

I told her that these two envelopes are for the first two months of her daughter’s savings plan and she should continue to do this every month from now on. I gave her some lessons about basic finance and savings. She wrote down these points in her phone which surprised me. She thanked me for giving her some ideas about saving money for her daughter and went home.

I met her daughter a few more times bought her a scooter and took her to Central Festival to buy some clothes etc. She was the happiest kid in town. One day I didn’t meet Far but I went to the local market on my own where the grandmother worked and looked after her daughter. The daughter saw me from a distance and ran towards me. She hugged me and wanted me to hold her hand all the time. She displayed some of the skills she had learned playing with the scooter. I took her to the nearest 7 Eleven to buy some sweets. When walking to the shop some of the market people started asking her who I was. This kid introduced me to them as her father. I was shocked and somehow felt emotional. I sat down near a table and this kid was playing hide and seek with me.

A foreigner came to me and said “Your daughter looks very cute.” I didn’t know what was happening. I said bye to the kid and went back to my hotel.

I met Far the next day and told her what happened the night before. She called her mother’s phone and started talking to her daughter on video call and asked her why she thought I was her father. The kid started explaining that she thought I am her father because I’m playing with her buying toys and sweets taking her to shows etc. and only fathers do this. Far told her that I’m only a friend but the kid insisted that she knows I’m her father.

I didn’t know what to say. I had mixed feelings about whether to upset the kid by saying I am not the father or to continue to make her feel happy that she suddenly found her father in her mind. I told Far I don’t mind talking to her when I get back to England. I’m happy to advise her about her future etc. I told her that I won’t send any money and that she needs to follow the savings plan on her own. She was happy with this.

Leaving Far and Her Daughter

I met Far a few more times and she came to the airport to send me off to the UK. I reiterated to her that I don’t have any feelings for her and I only give her ideas about how to save money as a well wisher. She said she knows that and thanked me again with tears in her eyes.

After coming back to England I continued to talk to Far via the Line app and had video calls with her daughter a couple of times. Far told me that her daughter asks about me every single day and she wants to go to London to stay with her father. I explained to her that I work in London and only visit Pattaya when I’m having holidays. On the video calls the kid started to show me her schoolwork. Then I realized I may be doing something wrong by creating an impression in a child’s mind that she now has a father. If I find a partner in my post divorce life or if I can’t visit Pattaya many times or stop focusing on this kid for whatever reason she will be heartbroken.

So after consulting with a couple of friends and Far we decided that I should slowly reduce the calls and make her realize that I may not be her real father as I’m not spending much time with her.

I stopped making video calls to the kid for a few weeks and she still asks about me but less frequently. If I’m in a position to do so I will happily take care of this kid but I don’t want to commit yet as my personal future is uncertain or not clear yet. Until then I will stay away from Far’s daughter as much as I can. I still think about her and I look at her pictures every now and then and feel happy.

Far started saving money and bought a small safe. She makes a video call and counts the total savings kept in that safe every couple of weeks. I hope she will continue to do this and her daughter will have enough money to go to a nice college or university in the future. I will keep an eye on this as long as I can.

Undercover Freelancer and Gold Digger Warning

From my condo on Soi 21 directly next to Terminal 21 in Bangkok I was getting over a tremendous bruise to my ego. I decided to share my story of my first few months in Thailand. I’m a 54 year old African American although when I came to Thailand I was still 53. I planned my trip from Beverly Hills in January of 2023 to visit Thailand for the first time and stay two months. I planned on being in Bangkok for the first month and then traveling to Pattaya for the second to attend the first ever Rolling Loud music festival along with Songkran which is actually my birthday on April the 15th. I rented Airbnbs beforehand for the entire trip including a pool villa in Pattaya for the week of my birthday the festival and Songkran.

I’ve owned restaurants in my past and constantly day trade to make a living so I had means to plan ahead. I spent my first week pretty much shopping and enjoying street food along with a few night spots along Khao San Road and really didn’t venture into beer bars or go gos as it’s really not my thing. I have no problem with the adult entertainment venues in Thailand and I’ve often visited massage parlors in the States as well as the occasional high end dinner date. The truth is I came to Thailand to experience the food culture and islands more than the women.

I also talked to a neighbor of mine back in Los Angeles to join me for a week and attend the festival as well. We split the cost of the pool villa and each brought VIP tickets to the three day event. I was going to be here for five weeks before him and figured I’d have a good lay of the land by the time he got to Thailand.

I arrived the last day of February and a week later myself and another guy I met from Los Angeles decided to venture to Soi 11 and visit a popular nightclub. This was my first time seeing freelancers everywhere walking the streets. When we got to the club it was kind of empty as it was Tuesday at around 1030 p.m. Even in this thin crowd I spotted the first woman I wanted to meet since arriving in town. She was with a friend and they were drinking wine. The first thing my friend said was “I think they’re freelancers.” Being naive at the time I said “I hope not” as I sent them each another glass of wine.

When they came over to thank us the first thing I asked the one I was interested in before I asked her name was “Are you working?” She said with a straight face “No.” She said her name was Dang and she was 44. I thought “Wow she’s a good age still pretty cute.” I told her I was in town for a couple of months and that I would be attending the music festival. She got excited and said she would also be going to the festival. The connection seemed instantaneous.

At the same time I looked over my shoulder to see my friend had his arms wrapped firmly around the other girl and they were already lip locked. I continued my conversation as if I had seen nothing. Dang and I exchanged WhatsApp info and she said she had to get up for work and would be leaving shortly. She actually left abruptly without so much as a goodbye and when we got downstairs her friend informed us she was probably halfway home as she suddenly had no affection left for my friend now that we were on the street. He summed it up as her probably having a man somewhere nearby because this was like night and day in five minutes as far as he was concerned. I would later find out that she lives less than 100 meters away on Soi 11 with another African American guy.

Bangkok Freelancer Red Flags

I texted Dang that she hadn’t said goodbye and she texted back that it was nice meeting me also and added “No judgment please” for some reason. The next day she sent a selfie and began telling me about her office work helping Thai women that had married foreigners get their visas to travel to Europe mostly England. She added the day after she sent me a video of her lunch a beef soup around noon with a caption “lunch with co workers.” I sent back a picture of me in the gym at around 1100 p.m.

That night I got a call from Dang cursing me out royally for not saying “enjoy your lunch” when she sent the video of her meal. There were a lot of F bombs dropped from her over the next hour as I sat wondering “Does this girl like me this much that this matters?” Anyway call me toxic because it kind of turned me on that she made a fuss about such a small matter from someone she met for 10 minutes just two days ago. However during that conversation she tilted her hand big time and asked me “Are you rich enough to talk to me? Can you afford me?” These are the words I’ve never heard in my life from a gold digger before.

The next morning Dang texted me an apology and said she had been drinking and said some mean things. As you know “sorry” isn’t in a woman’s vocabulary in the West so I accepted and let bygones be bygones. I had never forgot that one part of the conversation though with those two absurd questions. She then invited me to Pattaya for the weekend saying she had a home there and spent every weekend. I accepted.

We arrived at her house and I saw she also had a small car. I admit I was impressed. It was a two bedroom two bathroom home in a nice soi with a few mango trees as well. Dang told me she had been married for 10 years to a British guy and he bought and built the home. Knowing what I know now I’ve already ignored half a dozen red flags. No decent hard working Thai woman is caught dead on Soi 11. She rudely exited the night we met cursed me out questioned my worth lived in Pattaya for 20 years has a wealthy ex husband who bought a house and a car. The fact is when asked if I could afford her my ego kicked in and I thought to myself “I’m going to sleep with this woman as much as possible but spend as little as possible.

Needless to say we participated in aerobics that first night in Pattaya and all weekend in that house. When we got back to Bangkok the honeymoon was over. I was staying in the Sathorn area of Bangkok and Dang stayed on Soi 13 a block away from where we had met. She came to see me but found it inconvenient getting to work in the morning. The next few days was like a tug of war. We had passionate interactions and more passionate disagreements. I wanted to explore Thai cuisine and street food; Dang preferred proper restaurants. My determination to make sure she didn’t get what she wanted out of me was always a source of disagreement. While I told her of some of the things she said the night she drunkenly cursed me out I always admitted the part that mattered most to me where she showed me her true gold digging motives.

By the time my neighbor arrived the first week of April Dang and I had grown seemingly close even though I would never trust her. In her own way though she was an asset when it came to navigating all things Thailand for my friend and myself. My friend started looking at Tinder and made plenty of connections in Bangkok and Pattaya. The second day of Rolling Loud he ran into a girl he had matched with and they ended up spending the night together. Dang and I had the pool villa to ourselves that night and got into another fight as I went through her phone and discovered a handful of men would get “good morning my love” and “good night” texts.

Songkran Fight and Phone Discovery

All of my suspicions were confirmed at this point but my ego told me I was sleeping with this woman too much to care that these other idiots were sponsoring her because I knew I never would.

The next day was Songkran April 15th my birthday. Dang bought me a cake and plenty of booze along with a super soaker to participate in the festivities. We went to Second Road and my friend and I ventured down Soi 6 and I had a blast with our water guns while Dang and her friend waited for us. I have to say I’ve never had as much fun as I had going on Soi 6 from one end to the other. Dang told us Songkran didn’t end until the 19th in Pattaya so my friend who was leaving the 16th changed his ticket until the 20th.

That Sunday the 16th Dang’s friend was having a film party at her restaurant on Beach Road and we all attended. My friend bought the girl he had spent the night with a couple of nights before with him and surprisingly I happened to catch her coming out of the bathroom with another guy. It was obvious what they had been doing while he was on the street. Once I told him what I’d seen the evening was over. Dang and I drove them back to his hotel and I watched her pack her things to ensure nothing went wrong and she might make something up. When we got downstairs she claimed she lost her phone and wasted another 20 minutes of our time. Dang let her use her phone. I couldn’t understand why she cared after what this girl had just done.

When my friend left town a few days later we traveled to Surin in Isan so Dang could visit her family. I stayed in a hotel nearby and met no one. Yet in the weeks that followed I was asked to do all kinds of things for these people I wasn’t good enough to meet. In one story a tire came off a moving lorry and struck her father’s parked truck; in another her niece needed a new laptop. Despite everything I saw in her phone Dang was constantly trying to hustle me. I was constantly making sure she didn’t. I did however rent a condo on Soi 21 next to Terminal 21 to be close to her work and by mid May Dang and I had had enough of trying to outwit each other and parted ways for good.

I had a 23000 baht room being asked for 30000 baht allowance and every two weeks we’d argued and been apart for at least four days. I know others were being serviced.

Dang was an undercover freelancer and those are the most dangerous kind as they sleep with you in front and give you the true girlfriend experience. There are more of them than massage girls bar girls and freelancers put together make no mistake. The entrepreneurial freelancer that has a day job outnumbers them all. I was given meals laundry done birthday presents and had access to a house when she was in Bangkok and I was in Pattaya and it was all part of the game to make sponsor number who knows.

Walking Away From Dang

As you can imagine that was when I decided to walk away from Dang for good and I’m much wiser these days.