Thailand Farm Girl Marriage
Long time listener first time writer. 6 years ago when I was 44 I came across YouTube videos about Thailand. Being divorced for 10 years and living alone I decided to book a trip. A coworker bet me $200 that I would not buy a ticket he lost.
3 months before flying I filled my time researching everything deeply. On arrival I blew through immigration raced down to the bottom level of the airport and onto the MRT into Bangkok. I was shocked when that first wave of heat hit me while changing trains to Sukhumvit. Being a naive mongering guy from the States Bangkok was a real culture shock.
I strolled into my hotel and checked in. I had to have a few cold beers to work up the courage to go downstairs into the Thermae Cafe alone. Walking in I noticed I was the only white guy in the place. There were already more than 100 girls there standing around. I was a bit insecure to immediately go up to the most attractive girl. I read that a lot of the stunners down there do not go with white guys they’re looking to hook up with Korean or Japanese guys.
I introduced myself to this beautiful girl who was just wearing normal office attire. She spoke excellent English and we made great conversation. After we went upstairs for aerobics by the way the first I’ve had for years. I was just happy to hang around outside and people watch. I got to know her and three of her friends quite well over the next 3 days. I tried not to get overly attached to any of them but they were great fun. One of the girls was older than me but she didn’t look a day over 25 I was in shock.
It was time to head to Pattaya for the rest of my vacation. I had reservations at the Queen Victoria on Soi 6. I don’t need to go into details but I had a great 8 days only visiting Soi 6 a couple of times. Honestly I had more fun just hanging out with all the girls as opposed to endless aerobic sessions. I stayed in contact with a couple of bar girls just for the fun of it. I had the most awesome two weeks of my life.
People may say that I’m an idiot but being around those bar girls made me think about looking for a Thai wife. After I got back to the States I immediately started jumping on various Thai Facebook groups. A girl named Tay from a farming group messaged. We talked for a few weeks and then began to video chat. I stalked her Facebook for the last 10 years of history and was satisfied she was a genuine farm girl. She was 29 and had a six year old son whose father left when he was a baby.
First Thailand Trip
After a month I was actually in love with her.
The Betrayal
One day at work this man messaged me and asked me how I knew Tay. I told him she was my girlfriend. He said he had been seeing her for the last year and even went to visit her once in her village. His name was Tom from Australia.
I was speechless and shocked to the core. How had I not suspected anything was amiss? I apologized to Tom and told him I was gone. I was feeling fed up about it.
The next day when Tay called me I asked her how her boyfriend Tom was doing. She just burst into tears and sobbed. “I was going to tell you everything after I finished breaking up with him” she said. Then she said it was my fault for making her fall in love with me.
I promptly blocked her and stopped all contact. I felt bad for poor Tom though. We talked a few more times. Tay had stopped talking to him and he was heartbroken. He said she was the best Thai girl that he had ever dated. I found out he has had two Thai wives and numerous Thai girlfriends over the years. I got to know a lot about Tay just chatting to him.
A few more weeks had passed and then a Thai girl messaged me on Facebook asking me if I would just listen to Tay for a few minutes. I said okay and then the phone immediately rang. Surprisingly she wasn’t crying and calmly asked to talk with me.
Her English is good that being the main suspicion that she may have been a former bar girl but she was in a pharmacy program in a university for 2 years and studied her whole life. She had to quit because her family could no longer afford it.
Tay Explains Her Past
We talked and she told me it was not her intention to fall in love with me and she was honestly just interested in being friends. She confessed that she just wanted to marry Tom to get out of Thailand and better her future and that’s when I came along being younger and more handsome (haha) and probably better off financially.
I did completely understand. She showed me screenshots of past conversations with her friends about her needing to tell me about Tom which I translated and it checked out. She even let me log into her Facebook so I could look at all her conversations with Tom and her friends. She just asked me to give her one chance and to meet her one time.
The Meeting
Two months later I took a vacation and I was off to meet Tay at the airport. Upon spotting me at the airport she just ran towards me threw her arms around me and started sobbing.
I had asked her to bring her son with her just to see what kind of a mother she was. She passed the first of many tests by telling me no. I interacted with him a lot during our video chats and tried to teach him English. I realized that I really wanted her to bring him just to give them a nice vacation from the countryside. She eventually gave in and brought him.
I took them to Phuket and we saw all the fun sites and islands there. We went to her house in the village. She had a million dollar location nestled in between two national parks but the house was in poor shape. She lived with her mother aunt and grandfather. She was very poor compared to Western standards but looked to be at the upper end of the other villagers. She farms about 80 rai of sugar cane and five rai of various vegetables. Since the sugar cane doesn’t require much daily attention she worked at a big organic farm in Dan Sai managing the work crew.
After a few days in the village she asked me if I would like to come along and see where she works to which I agreed. I didn’t want to just stand around and watch her work so I joined in for a few days and it was quite fun. We harvested many vegetables processed and cleaned them and loaded them onto little trucks that would drive overnight to Bangkok. Watching her work so hard for 600 baht a day made me so sad but so proud of her at the same time.
Eventually my vacation came to an end and it was time for me to go home. I had so many mixed emotions. On one hand I had total freedom with my life and career making an above average salary and being burden free but there was a huge hole of loneliness in my life.
We video chatted for 4 to 5 hours every day for the next 8 months. I flew to Thailand and we vacationed all over the kingdom for a few weeks and then went back to her village. We had talked beforehand about marriage but I never actually proposed. I just blurted it out one morning that we should get married before I go back to America.
Life in the Village
We made a quick trip to Bangkok to get some paperwork from the embassy and went back to her village to get married. I fell in love with her village family and friends and I knew I wanted to spend my life here.
The night before we went to get a legal marriage at the local office I started to get cold feet. I started crying and she was crying and I told her I was scared to fail at marriage again. She understood and said we could wait. Her not pressuring me pushed me over the edge to get it done.
I went back to America once again. I started all the immigration paperwork and the waiting began. It would take about 1½ years to get it all finished. I planned one more trip to Thailand before her and her son would be able to come to America and then COVID hit and shut everything down.
We were strong and a year later she came to join me. Picking her up at the airport was magical. It was her childhood dream to see the Golden Gate Bridge so I took her there before our flight to my home. It was a huge culture shock for her and her son at first but they adjusted well. I took a month off work to help ease her into the transition.
She immediately wanted to go to work so she could help her family. She got a job at a cheese factory where I also worked. She hit the ground running. She couldn’t believe how much money people made here.
Fast forward 3½ years and things couldn’t be any better. Our son now speaks perfect English and does great in school he is 100% Westernized now. She stays true to her roots as an Isan country girl and constantly forages for mushrooms insects fish etc. We are building a beautiful house on her land that should be completed soon. She is getting her US citizenship next month. We plan to retire in Thailand in 5 to 6 years.
Marriage and Immigration
I feel I’ve gotten lucky for the most part. Here are just a few takeaways from my experience so far don’t marry too young or too beautiful. My Thai wife is better than my previous partners in every way. My only complaint is that she is jealous of my adult children but she’s gotten much better. I wouldn’t change anything and I’m so happy I took the chance in the field of red flags.
Thailand is truly a magical place and I encourage all of my friends to go over and have some fun at first and then try and meet someone good.
Story 2 Honest Motorbike Taxi Driver
One of the worst scenarios you can think of happened to me last month in Phuket losing your phone. As we all know nearly everything in our lives now depends on or is linked to our phones. Without your phone and access to your banking apps airline apps with saved tickets etc. you are basically cut off and not going anywhere.
The banking apps are locked down to a registered device and to use many credit cards now you need to validate a purchase online via the apps. Even if you use credit cards on a desktop internet connection many banks require you to have access to your phone to validate a transaction via the app.
I foresaw this event years ago and while hoping it would never happen planned for it. And thanks to that planning I covered from it with a bit of luck in under 30 minutes.
You may know on all Apple devices there is an app called Find My any of your registered devices can see any of the other devices whether they be phone tablet or notebook.
How did my horror scenario arrive? I was coming back through Patong in Phuket as a passenger on a motorbike. I was shopping and had a money pouch around my neck. The pouch contained my main iPhone with all those essential apps.
After finishing in town I made my way back to my room on a motorbike. Arriving at my room I turned on the air conditioning put the shopping bag down but could not find my phone. I thought perhaps it fell into my shopping bag when I put it down no problem. All I had to do was open the safe and get out the backup iPhone.
Losing the iPhone
Open the Find My app to see where my main phone was shock horror it’s certainly not in my room. Finally shows my main iPhone laying back on that busy road somewhere. It must have bounced out of my money pouch.
After the initial panic I was out the door like a lightning bolt to get a motorbike ride to look for the dropped iPhone. The problem is the road system is basically one way so I had a good distance to cover almost three sides of a rectangle.
As I drove away from the hotel my backup phone’s internet and the Find My app died. I had not purchased an internet pack for it and once away from the free hotel Wi Fi it cut out and did not have an exact fix on where the main phone was hopefully sitting. No time to go back to the hotel as I am on a one way road system and have to drive a good few kilometers of that rectangle. I decided I would find Wi Fi on my way.
Once I was on the big road where my iPhone was detected I saw a luxury hotel which surely had Wi Fi but it was on the opposite side and the traffic was fast and dense in both directions. Parking to the side I diced with death to cross over to the hotel. They had me connected to Wi Fi immediately and I got a fix on the Find My app of my iPhone apparently still there.
The clock is ticking. It must have been there for at least 20 minutes now. The Find My app indicated my main iPhone was located a long way down the road but fortunately next to two landmarks a medical center and a restaurant.
I dodged cars again to get back to my transport and drove fast to the location. I got off and ran around looking at the road surface but saw nothing. Then I heard a voice from the opposite side of the road yelling “Mister! Phone! Phone!” waving at me.
Finding the Phone
He was a motorbike taxi driver waiting by his stand on the opposite side. I dodged cars a third time crossing on foot through drivers with no desire to slow down. I went over to him.
He told me a story in reasonably good English about how he saw a phone fall out from a passenger on a motorbike and then a motorbike coming behind stopped to pick it up. I was puzzled as Find My still had my phone at the general location and I was worried that I would be told he saw someone drive off with my phone.
He told me he went across the road and when he saw that the other motorbike driver had picked up the phone he saw the phone had a sticker in the transparent phone cover with a foreigner‘s name email and phone number. This motorbike taxi driver said to the rider who had picked up my phone “That phone is not yours that is a foreigner’s name.
Then with a smile he pulled my iPhone from his side pocket. He had been waiting for the owner to return and look for his phone. At least 30 minutes had elapsed.
Mr. Nun the honest motorbike taxi driver got a very generous reward.
Always carry two iPhones when traveling.
Story 3 First Pattaya Trip
I only went to Pattaya once and my story is in two parts. I don’t really have a lot of time to write out a story but I felt it was important because it will help others out which is why I call it passing on the baton of knowledge. I wish I could have read such stories before I visited Thailand. I will also be reliving fond memories as I write it. It was a trip I will never forget.
About 25 years ago my boss at the time used to speak about Pattaya. I remember he used to go to China on a buying trip once every year and a friend he went with had taken him to Pattaya on the way back and introduced him to everything Pattaya had to offer. I never really thought much of it at the time and I only got a very brief explanation of what happened. The place didn’t sound that exciting to me at the time I had other interests.
Fast forward exactly 20 years to 2016 and I was working a remote location with this guy that I had befriended and we got along well. This guy had now passed away so it makes our trip extra special and this will be something I will always have to remember.
He said to me one day “Let’s book a trip to Thailand.” Visiting Thailand was not something that had crossed my mind in the past. I mean it had never been discussed with my friend. I thought about it for a while and thought “Hey why not? Let’s visit Thailand.
I wanted to go because my friend had good knowledge of Pattaya so I shouldn’t come unstuck on my first trip. I highly doubt I would have been brave enough to make this trip on my own had I not been with somebody who was familiar with Pattaya. I think the language barrier would have knocked my confidence but I didn’t know it then just about everybody in Pattaya speaks very good English anyway and that includes most of the bar girls.
We booked the tickets and accommodation through the internet. It was the first time I’ve booked accommodation using the internet as I’m not a big traveler. 7 days in Pattaya staying just off Second Road and 2 days in Bangkok staying at the Woraburi Hotel on Sukhumvit Soi 4. My friend was so excited and reassured me that I was going to love it and as it happened I really did love it.
Discovering Pattaya
We flew into Bangkok and my friend showed me how to negotiate a fixed rate to Pattaya with a taxi driver and then we were on our way. As we came into Pattaya I saw my first ever baht bus and couldn’t believe school kids were riding to school in the back of an open pickup truck. I also started to see the many scooters with kids in front and back. It was really an experience to see how different everything is.
Once we had booked into our hotel I went straight to Beach Road and straight to McDonald’s and I had a large cappuccino. I can still remember it was 125 baht in 2016. As I sat down I thought this is going to be a cheap holiday but when I did the math at 25 baht to 1 Australian dollar I worked out I had just paid $5 for a large cappuccino which at that time was more expensive than Australia.
I thought there must be some mistake but I learned my first important lesson there are two currencies in Pattaya the tourist dollar and the local baht. I only bought three coffees the whole time I was in Thailand and I avoided McDonald’s from then on. I found it offensive that in a country where the income can be so low tourists sit in places that most local people could not afford to eat at.
I used to walk through Central Festival and come out the other end because it was easy access to the beach and was air conditioned but I found the place oppressive being such a fancy and expensive place that only some could ever afford to buy products in.
I then did what anyone could do. I discovered a little lady at a street cart just outside our hotel who made nice meals and I sought out the local 7 Eleven. Both became my food hangouts. There was a whole variety of street carts in nearby streets but I just could not bring myself to even try what they had on offer as they did not look as nice as the one just outside my hotel. Once I had established myself with this lady I stayed with her for the rest of my trip.
The Friends Holiday Girlfriend
My first experience with the local ladies was actually my friend’s encounter. One evening when me and my friend were walking along Beach Road I was walking behind him and this girl came up from behind my friend and took his arm and started to walk beside him chatting as they went along. At the time I can remember being offended but she was older and I didn’t think she was all that attractive and the fact that she had just come up and approached us in this way was not polite I thought. I don’t want to be put in a similar situation.
My friend was more than 10 years older than me so I guess he was looking through different eyes. I sort of didn’t really even want to talk to her so I just kept walking along and looking at all the sights along Beach Road. As it turned out this girl worked her magic on my friend and before I knew it he had come to an arrangement with her to hang out with her for an entire week.
I felt compelled to write this story because I assumed wrongly. I didn’t want regular company and so I only hung out with girls on the odd night and actually hung around with my friend and his new girl which they did not mind and she actually turned out to be a tremendously nice person.
I fully understand that these girls are working at the end of the day to send money back to their families but I was very surprised at how nice they can be towards us. They really make you feel welcome. No wonder Pattaya is so popular with guys.
I can remember one day she took us up all these back alleys and we ended up in some market that you could never have found unless you lived there. We were in the same shopping area as the locals and prices were cheap. We stopped in a little shop and had a cold drink taking a few pictures that I would cherish forever. She also took us to a few local memorials and shrines before taking my friend to an island and the big temple up on the hill.
I didn’t want to go on these extended trips and so I stayed behind and chilled out by the pool. My friend was off sightseeing with his new holiday girlfriend while I sat by the pool surfing the internet pretty much as I do at home every day. I guess some people will listen to this and think “What a waste of money gone on holiday and surfing the internet all day?” But I was happy.
A Sad Dinner in Pattaya
I noticed an old man in the pool and a girl who looked to be around 24 years old. They were paying each other so much attention. I think it was at that point that the penny dropped and I realized why guys get hooked on Pattaya. Having such busy lives sometimes we don’t stop or we don’t have the time to spare for such simple encounters. It was quite remarkable and I’ll never forget how they just had so much time for each other. If you strip away all the complications and assets of modern day life perhaps this is all that really matters.
The end of this story wasn’t a train wreck as some viewers are used to but it did end sadly. My friend was obsessed with the beautiful lady in one of the Second Road massage parlors and he couldn’t be sure if it was a ladyboy or not. I think the lure of the ladyboy had gotten to him.
What basically happened was my friend and this girl he had hooked up with for a week were at dinner together at this outdoor restaurant and this other girl from the massage parlor walked past our table. My friend just couldn’t help himself striking up a conversation with this girl. But the real problem started when the conversation went on for about 40 minutes. I’m not exactly sure if that was the exact time but I do know while he was chatting to this other girl me and his holiday girlfriend were eating our meal and looking at each other thinking “Is this really happening?” We were so uncomfortable.
He was totally wrapped up in conversation with this other girl and was completely ignoring the one he had spent the week with. I thought that it might be a brief conversation with his second lady but after what seemed like an eternity the girl he had been with got up and stormed off. I followed her out and I can’t remember what I said but I remember her saying “He’s paid me anyway.” And with that the girl was gone.
I went back to my friend and said “You do realize that these girls have feelings don’t you?” He was oblivious to the hurt he had just caused her and guilt suddenly came across his face. After that he barely said a word for the rest of the night. I think he was embarrassed thinking about what he had done. It truly was a sad ending and we wished it could have ended any other way than how it worked out.
I also did two insensitive things that I regret to this day. Pattaya is a place where you almost have to step out of yourself it can consume you. I don’t drink but if you’re a big drinker or party animal I can see how Pattaya and the female population can quickly take over your life and of course your cash. You really must be careful. But I had a great time. Sometimes I think I could sell everything and move there to retire. I can see why people do.
Yachi and the Ladyboy Test
After walking the length of the Coconut Bar on Beach Road I had found a girl that had caught my eye but I was a bit shy to approach her. As we walked back trying to find her in the dark I noticed her and paused long enough that she approached me. Her name was Yachi.
I ended up spending a night with her and she then convinced me to make that two nights with plans to meet at 430 p.m. the next day outside the hotel. Sometime on the second day I decided two nights wasn’t really such a good idea and so I started thinking how I could break my plans. I went down to the outside of the hotel just before 400 p.m. hoping she wouldn’t show up.
You wouldn’t believe it but at 359 and 59 seconds Yachi came around the corner on a scooter you could set your watch by her accuracy. I was thinking about how I was going to get out of this situation eventually taking her for a walk and offering to pay her for her time but calling it a day with her.
Well I guess this was my first major Pattaya mistake. It’s not like returning a broken toaster. She was so upset that I didn’t want to be with her and the money didn’t make any difference. I felt really awful. It wasn’t like I was going out with another girl because I ended up just having a few drinks alone and going home to bed.
One wise tip never agree to meet a girl on multiple nights unless you are sure you want to stay with the same girl. I guess they all try but I learned the hard way. I did go out with Yachi one other night later on but I know she was still angry with me. I took her Facebook details but as I never returned I never spoke to her again. She was a nice girl and you could easily fall for one of these girls they all have a very nice nature about them. A bar girl relationship may end up as a train wreck and sometimes it doesn’t but I can see why guys do it anyway.
Another experience which I really feel bad for to this day is the night we went to Walking Street. I went with my friend and his second friend. The second friend knew exactly what bars to go to and how long to stay in fact he knew every trick in the book. And this is the value of having someone pass on their knowledge to a first time visitor to Pattaya.
A Night Without Identification
As the night wore on I got progressively more intoxicated until we ended up at our last bar where this tiny and beautiful girl came up and sat next to me. It was decided she would return with me to the hotel and I could not have been happier. We went and had a quick bite to eat before turning up at the hotel for what I thought was going to be the best night of my trip.
For those that don’t know the hotel reception will always take the girl’s identity card and keep it until morning. This is for the safety of the guest as well as the girl only returning the girl’s ID to them once you have said all is well. I had no idea this system existed but it was really reassuring and acts like insurance.
Anyway this night we get to reception and this beautiful girl had with me no identity card on her. I looked at the reception staff and they told me that she could stay with me but “if there are any problems you’re on your own and we cannot be responsible.
I might have had a bit of alcohol in me but I wasn’t so drunk that I was going to let my guard down. I think we actually got in the elevator before I worked out that I must be going to get scammed here. How could a girl working in this industry not know that you need to have your identity card to get into hotels? She looked so innocent but I just couldn’t take a chance.
So we went back down to reception. She offered to take me back to her place to which I agreed but I already felt that she had deceived me by turning up at the hotel without an ID card. We ended up walking miles up Second Road in the direction of Jomtien Beach. I think we ended up under a freeway underpass. I just kept thinking she’s planning to scam me and how on Earth could someone so beautiful and innocent do such a thing?
We eventually arrived at her room. However as soon as she went inside I turned and ran most of the way back to my hotel and just went to bed. I don’t even remember which bar we were in so I couldn’t go back and make things right. I did feel bad that it was her only way of making an income and she might not have scammed me after all. She didn’t make any money. But I can’t help feeling like she should have known she would need her identity card. Was it an honest oversight or was she going to steal stuff out of my room? I’ll never know.
The Ladyboy Test in Pattaya
Near to the end of our time in Pattaya me and my friend who had offended the girl he should have been with for a week decided to go to Beach Road and try and find a couple of girls to spend some time with. I ended up finding and talking to Yachi and my friend was still trying to work out if the girl in the massage parlor was a ladyboy or not. Yachi played this spotting competition and pointed to this beautiful girl and asked “Is that a ladyboy?” I said “No way!” And she said “Yes it is.
I didn’t believe her so we called this girl across and she confirmed that she was in fact a ladyboy. The girl confirmed that they identify as women and feel like women but they aren’t always allowed to have surgery to make them that way. I kind of felt sorry for them. It may have been dark but there is just no way to believe that such a beautiful girl could be a ladyboy.
My friend wanted to know about this other girl. So what ended up happening was that Yachi had a friend with her on Beach Road. So we did a deal Yachi would come with me and we would walk past the massage parlor and Yachi would see if it was in fact a ladyboy or not. If it was a ladyboy my friend would take Yachi‘s friend for the night. But if the girl in the massage parlor was not a ladyboy my friend would go and ask her out.
With that decided we walked across to Yachi‘s scooter and she hinted for me to drive. I said “No way!” and so Yachi drove to Second Road. We got off and started walking towards the massage parlor. We were a fair way away when Yachi turned to me and said “Ladyboy.” I asked “Are you sure?” and we went right past and circled back past a second time but she was convinced it was a ladyboy.
We went back to Yachi‘s friend and the four of us went back to the hotel. Of course Yachi was still mad at me and of course she could have lied about the supposed ladyboy in the massage shop so that my friend would be put off and go back for her friend which is what he did.
The next morning we went to breakfast and afterwards departed Pattaya with the best memories of a trip ever.
Pattaya Memories
I have read the stories of how recent events have decimated Pattaya and how there are plans to close part of it down. I am by no means a regular but it’s still sad to see the place change forever. Pattaya is unique to any other place in the world.
Anyway I enjoyed Pattaya and 2 days in Bangkok were also unbelievable. I walked past Nana Plaza several times but never went in. I guess that’s for the next time.
