How a Thailand Trip Destroyed My Marriage

Me and my Husband James have been together for quite a while so it’s crazy that one trip to Thailand changed everything and turned my life upside down.

So let me get to the story.

When James first told me he was planning a trip to Thailand with his friend, I immediately felt a knot in my stomach.

It wasn’t just the idea of him being so far away—it was the history behind it.

His friend had been to Thailand several times before, and James had casually mentioned how his friend always seemed to come back with stories of spending time with Thai girls.

I tried not to let my mind wander too much, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

Table of Contents

My Husband’s Thailand Trip Plan

I begged him not to go.

“Why do you need to go there? Why can’t you just take a break here?” I asked, but James reassured me that it was just a fishing trip—a chance for him to relax with his friend.

At that stage, I did not know much about Thailand, but what I did know is that a lot of men go to Thailand for something other than a fishing trip.

Deep down, I knew something was off.

My Husband’s Lies

There was a certain tone in his voice, one that said he wasn’t being completely honest.

When you have been with someone for so long, you pick on these little things.

But I wanted to trust him.

He had always been good to me, and I didn’t want to seem paranoid.

Still, my mind couldn’t settle.

His friend had a reputation, and I had heard only heard a little about Thailand and what can go on there, sounds like a great place especially for someone like James who loved adventure.

But no matter how many times I asked, James kept repeating it was all about fishing.

Broken Promises

James had recently come into a large inheritance, and with it, he promised me he’d finally fix up our home.

He talked about all the things we could do together, the plans we could make, the future we could build.

We had a solid plan what we were going to use the money for.

But as the days passed leading up to the trip, I began to feel more and more uneasy.

Could this trip be the beginning of the end for everything we had? Could this be the beginning of something I wouldn’t be able to undo?

The day finally came, and James and his friend left for Thailand.

I tried to put it out of my mind, focusing on the things I needed to do while he was away. Ten days felt like an eternity.

I did not hear much from him the whole trip, so I tried to keep myself as busy as possible, but would always find myself thinking about what he would be doing.

He would text me occasionally, sending a picture of the beach or a random fish they had caught.

It all seemed so harmless on the surface—until they returned.

Husband Returns from Thailand, Acting Strange

When they got back, James walked through the door with his usual smile, but I noticed the small things.

The way he avoided to look at me properly, the slight hesitation in his voice when he started telling me about the trip.

I could clearly see that he was hiding something, because he would stutter and stumble over the simplest of questions that I would ask him.

At first, he talked about the fishing—how they had found a great spot, caught some big ones, and whatever else has to do with fishing.

But then, he casually mentioned that they were planning to go back in a few weeks.

He Wants to Go Back to Thailand

That moment hit me like a ton of bricks.

The promise of a fishing trip had turned into something more and as much as I tried to push the thought away, I couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach.

Why does he want to go back so quick if it was only a fishing trip he had been on?

I couldn’t believe what James was saying.

After everything, after all the promises, he still insisted he hadn’t done anything wrong.

Confronting My Husband About Thai Girls

I told him to just be honest with me to why he wanted to go, I asked him straight if he had another girl over there or planned on finding someone there.

He swore to me that he hadn’t been with anyone while they were in Thailand.

But as he was saying all this, I could tell buy the way he was talking that he wasn’t being truthful, I know he was trying to hide something.

I was furious, sad and deeply hurt.

It wasn’t just about the trip.

It was about everything that led up to it, everything I had tried to ignore because I wanted to believe in him.

I told him straight, “If you go back, this will be the end of us.” I said it and at the time, I really wanted to mean it.

I do love him and at the time I really did not want it to be the end of us because we had worked so hard for everything we had, but I don’t know how much I could take.

Gaslighting Me About Thailand & Bargirls

James was firm with going back to Thailand, telling me I was wrong, that I was overreacting, he made it sound like I was acting crazy and its all my fault.

It hurt even more because I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was lying about what happened on his trip.

I did have a moment where I thought maybe I was overreacting but I soon come back down to reality and realizing I wasn’t over reacting, I was acting like a completely normal wife concerned about her relationship.

Unknown to me at the time, James had already booked the tickets for the next trip.

When I found out, it felt like my world was crumbling.

He hadn’t even bothered to tell me the full story.

I did not even have a say about his next trip, he had done all this without even considering how I would feel about it.

To top it off, he’d paid for both him and his friend, not because he was being generous, but because his friend had lost his job and couldn’t afford it.

Yes the money was my husbands, but we were planning on putting it to good use, not paying for his friend to go on holiday.

I Kicked Him Out

As painful as it was, I knew there was nothing left to say.

So, I told him, “Don’t come back.”

I couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine about him going to Thailand when it was clear that it wasn’t.

I knew there was more to the story than what James had been telling me, it was obvious, but without any proof there was not much I could do.

I needed space, so while James was away, I went away on a holiday to Turkey, hoping the distance would give me the clarity I needed.

I tried to enjoy the beauty of the place, but my mind was elsewhere, and going on a solo holiday probably wasn’t the best idea I had.

I was alone with my thoughts the whole time, it was not fun at all and probably the worst trip I had ever taken.

Money Spent From Our Account In Thailand

When I returned from Turkey, I was hoping that time would help heal the wounds.

But instead, what I found was another nightmare.

I logged into our bank account and discovered that hundreds of pounds had disappeared.

I was shocked and confused, at first, I thought someone in Thailand had stole or cloned his card.

It didn’t make sense.

I was worried about James, and then I looked closer and saw where all the money was going.

The charges were spread across various places—a jewelry store, fancy restaurants, things that we couldn’t afford before, things that he had never shown any interest in before.

Thai Bargirl Scam

I knew this wasn’t just careless spending—it was something else, who needs to go to a jewelry store on a fishing trip.

It was around that time that I stumbled upon your channel.

I had been searching for answers, trying to make sense of everything, and suddenly, things began to click into place.

The more I watched, the more I realized what was happening.

James wasn’t the man I thought he was.

And whatever had happened in Thailand—whatever he hadn’t told me—was leading to something far worse than I ever imagined.

My Husband Fell for It

I began to understand the reality of the situation, and with every new detail, my heartbreak got worse.

The more stories I listened to and read about men going to Thailand and meeting a girl, the more I realized what was happening.

Even after everything, when James finally came back, he still tried to convince me that nothing had happened.

I could hardly believe it.

How could he be so sure, so confident, when everything was pointing in the opposite direction?

Caught in Lies

He even went so far as to say he couldn’t remember stepping foot in the jewelry store.

And of course, no shiny gift had ever appeared for me—no gesture to make up for any of it.

If he had said he card was stolen at least his lies would sound slightly believable but he didn’t, he simply said he can not remember.

I felt like I was being treated like a dog, like he thought I was too stupid to see the truth.

£7,000 Wasted on Thailand Trips

The cost of the two trips had been over £7,000, money we didn’t have.

But it wasn’t the amount that hurt the most—it was everything that came with it.

After the second trip, he just wasn’t the same, he tried being a loving husband and show me affection but I can feel like it was being forced.

He had quit his job right after he got back, and when he explained why, he said it was because of a dispute with his boss.

But I wasn’t buying it.

I knew, deep down, that the real reason was that he wanted more time for himself, more time to take trips and do things that didn’t involve working.

His priorities had shifted, and I was no longer one of them.

He found another job, but by then, it felt like it was all falling apart.

He was under so much stress that he couldn’t keep it together, and he lost that job too, much quicker than I would’ve ever expected.

Thailand Destroyed Our Marriage

We were almost at rock bottom, emotionally and financially.

Our relationship was crumbling, piece by piece, and I couldn’t seem to find the strength to hold it all together.

I was struggling at work too, feeling more and more disconnected from everything around me.

I was stupid to stay with him as long as I did, he brought me down with him and I felt trapped, to this day I still don’t know why I stayed with him.

But even as everything collapsed, James kept insisting, with his usual denial, that nothing had happened in Thailand.

Caught Sending Money to Thailand

How could he still lie to me like that? How could he pretend that everything was just fine? How can he care so little about me to just blatantly lie to me?

The bills started coming in, and they were impossible to ignore.

Money kept going out our bank but not to pay bills —huge amounts that didn’t add up.

I kept asking him about it, and he’d always brush it off, saying it was nothing.

The more I dug, the more I found.

His bank account was draining fast, with strange withdrawals, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was watching the last of his honesty slip away.

I accused him of sending money to someone, a girl, but he denied it, of course. He always denied everything.

His excuses were falling apart, just like the life we had built together.

Hidden Savings

By then, most of his money had disappeared, and I felt helpless watching it all slip away.

Luckily, I had been able to save some money aside.

I kept £5,000 hidden away—money James couldn’t touch.

It felt like my only safeguard, the only thing I could hold on to.

But even that wasn’t enough.

He eventually had to cash in his savings bonds, one by one, just to try and stay afloat.

And all of this, all of these lies and losses, were happening right before my eyes.

I was losing him, and I was losing myself in the process.

Confronting The Other Woman, A Thai Bar Girl

I was too embarrassed to talk to friends or seek help elsewhere, I was in my own bubble telling myself that things are going to get better, everything is going to be alright.

Even after all the damage had been done, James still didn’t seem to understand the depth of what he had done.

Just before Christmas, he took £150 out of his credit card.

I found out that the money had been sent overseas, to Thailand.

That’s when it all clicked, well it clicked long ago but I just chose not to believe it.

He had obviously met a someone and was still obsessed with that Thai girl—whoever she was.

She had become the center of his world, even if I hadn’t yet put all the pieces together.

He cared more about her than he cared about me, our relationship and our future.

The thought of it made me sick to my stomach, and I couldn’t get rid of the image of him pouring his money into someone else’s life while mine was falling apart.

I felt so sad and lonely that I was supposed to be the most important person in his life and now im being tossed the side like a piece of rubbish.

Facebook Photos With A Thai Girl

Then, on New Year’s Day, he made it worse.

I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw the pictures.

Pictures of James with a Thai girl, smiling, laughing, posing together as if they were something special.

I was devastated.

The person who was supposed to be my partner, the person I had spent over two decades with, had just posted a public declaration of what I had feared all along.

Exposing His Thailand Lies

I confronted him immediately.

I demanded that he take the pictures down. He tried to explain, of course, saying she was just a friend showing them around, that it meant nothing.

He said that he tried to make the Facebook settings so that only the girl could see his post and nobody else, I don’t know if that makes it worse because obviously he was trying to hide it.

If the girl was just a friend, showing them around Thailand, why would he need to try and hide that from me?

The Full Extent of His Thailand Deception

But I could see through the lies.

I could feel the weight of every word he said, and it felt like my trust in him was gone forever.

Looking at other pictures, I realized something I had tried so hard to ignore—the truth that he had met this girl on the first trip to Thailand.

I am not sure if they met online or something before the first trip, I guess Ill never know that, but what I do know is that he was with her on the first trip.

He hadn’t gone there just for the fishing.

He had gone back specifically for her.

That was the reason for everything, for all the trips, all the lies.

Divorce After Thailand – Ending 21 Years Together

It was something he had planned.

He had made a choice, and in doing so, he had chosen her over me, over everything we had built together.

I finally had enough, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I told him to pack his things and leave.

This was the end, or so I thought.

I couldn’t live in this web of lies and deceit any longer.

But as always, he protested.

He begged me to forgive him, insisted that nothing had really happened between them, that it was just a fling, that it was all a mistake.

At least he finally admitted cheating on me and being with her, even though he sugar coated the whole fling part with her.

I knew better now.

He was the one making the biggest mistake, and I couldn’t let him drag me down with him any longer.

I finally kicked him out the house and told him I need some time alone.

James ended up staying on a friend’s couch for a couple of nights.

He had nowhere else to go, no money, no job, and none of his family or friends seemed willing to step in and help him.

I think, deep down, they all knew what he had done.

After 21 years together, everything had been shattered by a Thai woman—by her, and by James himself.

Not Blaming the Thai Girl, It’s His Fault

Just for the record, I do not blame the Thai girl at all, it’s not her fault, she isn’t the one that had been unfaithful, lied and cheated.

What hurt the most was that he still didn’t even seem to get it.

He didn’t understand that he had been tricked by someone who probably had many other men sending her money, who wasn’t sitting around missing him.

She was just playing him, using him for whatever she could get.

How Bargirls in Thailand Scam Men

I learnt that these girls in bars are very good at their craft and can make you fall in love with them easy, have you thinking that you are the love of their life.

But James didn’t see that.

He still didn’t realize that he wasn’t the victim here. I was.

I wish I could say it couldn’t get any worse.

But somehow, it did.

I found myself at a crossroads—should I throw everything away over what seemed like a foolish mid-life crisis? James was 47 by the way.

Or should I try to forgive him, push past everything, and pretend none of it ever happened? It felt like an impossible decision.

Clearly it should not have been an impossible decision, im sure many of you would have walked out and left the relationship after the first trip.

Stupidly I didn’t, I stayed around.

More Money Sent to Thailand

My heart was torn between what I knew in my gut was right and the faint hope that things could somehow get better, that maybe he could change.

But every day, the cracks in our relationship got wider.

I let him stay back at the house but the money that kept leaving his bank was still suspiciously high, each one more more than the last.

And even though money was going out of his account, the bills were not being paid.

James insisted he didn’t have the money to pay them, and I couldn’t understand how he could be so careless with something so important.

Bank Statements Show Thailand Transfers

So, I demanded to see his bank statements.

He tried to avoid it, but I wouldn’t let him off the hook this time.

I needed answers, and I wasn’t going to let him hide behind more lies.

When I saw the records, my stomach sank.

As you might have guessed, he was sending money to an account in Thailand.

He told me they were “a family he had stayed with,” and promised to pay them and help them out for allowing him to stay with them, but something about it didn’t sit right with me.

I couldn’t imagine what kind of family in Thailand would need continues money from them, and if it was just a family why not ignore them and not send any money, so I called his bluff.

One night, I went on his phone and looked at his Facebook, I saw a Thai girl that he had been talking to and sending money too.

I messaged her from my account and asked for a number I can call her on.

Her English name was Bee, apparently she was a go go dancer, and she barely spoke any English.

Thai Girl’s Side of the Story – She Was Scammed Too

So, how was James managing all these long conversations with her on messenger? I couldn’t make sense of it.

I felt the rage build inside me as I pushed her for answers.

It took some effort, but I eventually got the truth out of her.

She thought she was in a relationship with James and he was coming back to see her soon.

She was shocked when I told her about James and me.

She had no idea he had a partner, and she was furious.

He had been lying to her as he had been lying to me, she did not know he was married and by all accounts he was single.

No Hard Feelings Toward the Thai Girl

As I said earlier, I did not blame her for the situation I was in because she did not know anything about me.

The reality of the situation hit her just as hard as it hit me.

I wasn’t the only one caught in his web of deceit.

After hearing the truth, she called me back several times, demanding to speak to James.

But when he refused to answer, I was left standing there in the middle of it all.

At 2 in the morning, I was stuck in a nightmare, trapped between a woman who was crying and a man who was lying.

I was just as lost as she was. And James? He still couldn’t see what he had done.

I had been right all along, but in that moment, all I could do was wonder how much more I could take before I finally broke.

Thai Girl Calls Again – More Lies Uncovered

As time went on, just when I thought the worst was behind me, when I believed that maybe, finally, it was over, I got another call one morning morning.

It was her—Bee.

She rang my phone twice, saying that James had asked her to call him back but he wasn’t answering his phone. I couldn’t believe it. It was probably just another one of his lies.

James again denied ever talking to her and told me she was probably just after more money because he hasn’t sent her any.

It felt like déjà vu—more lies, more games, more of the same.

By the time I picked up the phone, I was furious, I was tired of all of it.

I told her in no uncertain terms to leave us alone and never call again.

I didn’t even want to deal with her anymore.

I was done.

The damage had already been done, and no matter what happened from here on out, it couldn’t be undone.

This was the breaking point and I meant it this time.

Divorce & Starting Over

I think we’ve finally reached the end.

James is now penniless—he has nothing left. And I can’t keep supporting him while he’s out there making a fool of me, hiding behind his lies.

After nearly a year of him lying to me, how could he possibly expect me to trust him now? I feel so lost, so hurt by the person I thought I knew so well.

It was a long hard year for me, and I probably should have done it earlier, but I finally kicked him out the house and now we are going through a divorce.

I am still heartbroken and sad about what happened, its really knocked my trust in people and im not sure if I will ever trust anyone ever again.