Thai Police Woman Who Wanted Money
I was a 40 year old New Zealander living in Hua Hin, Thailand for a number of years. I have always enjoyed a healthy social life going to many of the restaurants, bars, and pubs that Hua Hin has to offer. I enjoy traveling around Thailand. I like Thai people, the beaches, and of course, I love Thai cuisine.
I arrived in Thailand as a married man and had every intention of staying that way. However, like many relationships, it started to fall apart. We had been married close to 15 years. I did start to date one or two Thai girls, and as many of your listeners share, of course there are so many beautiful girls here in Thailand.
The First Meeting at the Irish Pub
I used to go to this Irish pub in my neighborhood from time to time. In that pub was a young lady named Nok who used to work behind the bar. This was a friendly social pub frequented by regulars not a beer bar or anything of the sort.
Having been to this pub many times, I loved to flirt with this particular member of staff. She had a cute face and seemed like she had a nice body, though it was hard to tell with the uniform. She was fun and friendly, loved sport, and was very popular with fellow staff and customers.
On one occasion, I’d had a few drinks and took my flirting to a new level by asking to exchange Line IDs. Being a little drunk, I was braver than usual. The next day, I was very surprised to see that I had collected Nok’s Line ID.
The Expensive First Dates
After some general chitchat over the next few days, I finally invited her to join me at a restaurant of her choice. Much to my surprise, she agreed. Her choice of restaurant was possibly the most expensive restaurant in the region.
We met in an upmarket bar beforehand. Nok was out of her uniform and now fully dressed up. Wow. She had a full face of makeup, high heels, and a very stunning backless outfit. To be honest, I was a little shocked. I didn’t realize what an incredibly slender and fit body, beautiful face, and stunning woman she was. I was overwhelmed by her beauty.
We went out on the date. Everything went well. We went to dinner at an expensive restaurant, then to some bars, then to a club, then returning home. However, there was no aerobics. In fact, all moves were rejected.
I went back to where she worked, flirted some more, and asked her if she enjoyed herself, to which she said yes. I then asked if she’d like to go on another date. She said yes. Again, she picked another very expensive restaurant. Again, we went to dinner after drinks. She picked a lot of expensive dishes, good wine, delicious seafood, and a beautiful beachfront venue.
Followed by visiting some nightclubs, including meeting some of her friends. Again, a very expensive evening. I returned her home without any aerobics not so much as a kiss.
The Turning Point
After two dates, I started to feel concerned that perhaps all I was was a fool with money who was continuing to pay for expensive dinners and drinks. The idea was creeping into my head: was I being played like a Thailand newbie? Yet I had been in Thailand for years. I had experience and had never been played.
We went on a third date and potentially final date. Same story played out. Expensive restaurant, bars, and not so much as a kiss. Much to my dismay, it was clear my objective was not achievable. I was charming, flirty, generous, humorous, and gave my best efforts to win the girl.
As the third date was coming to an end, I concluded the evening by venting my frustration and acknowledging that I had been taken advantage of. I thanked her and exited. I walked to my car and started to drive out.
She rushed to the car and from the passenger side opened the door and said, “Yes, I would like to go with you.”
I had mixed feelings of surprise, relief, and excitement. We then went to a hotel nearby. We had aerobics, and when I saw her without clothes for the first time, she was perfect flawless.
The Happy Ending
From here, we continued to see each other. During the initial stages, each date helped our bond slowly grow stronger, better, and more honest. Within two years we were married, and we have remained married for 10 years already.
When we reflect on those early days, I ask my wife what her intentions were. She smiles and concedes there was an element of wanting to enjoy the high life and expensive restaurants that farangs enjoy which were out of her budget. However, she quickly points out: “Was your intention to develop a meaningful relationship, or was it because I was beautiful and you wanted to have aerobics with me as your primary objective?”
Too true. We remain happily married and laugh about how our relationship was almost over before it started. Recently, we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary at the restaurant of our first date. I have never been happier.
Peter, I have a few crash and burn stories prior to meeting my wife, and I will share them in due course. She is 43 years old now.
Story 2 Why Men Fall for Thai Bar Girls
This next piece if you can call it a story is one of the most interesting pieces I’ve ever read out. I haven’t read anything like this on the channel before.
One of the biggest comments left on the stories when I read them out on Saturday mornings is: “How can these guys be so stupid?” Educated guys, guys with businesses, who go into bars, fall in love with bar girls they’re simps. How could they be stupid?
This is obviously a very intelligent guy who’s written this, and he’s written it very well. Try to get into it, because it gets really interesting about halfway through. I’m going to stop waffling and just get straight into it.
The Rise of Women’s Status
We should probably start with the global phenomenon noticeable in most of the world (excluding parts of the Middle East, Asia, and Africa): the rise in women’s status. This has been continuing since the 1960s when women got the pill.
Just look at the universities today. There are more women than men even in male dominated universities such as law and medicine. Not only that, but women are getting far better grades and are now dominating some professions namely education, public administration, and health. They are encroaching even into scientific fields.
Understandably, this has made many women more confident, independent, and less willing to rely on men. At the same time, men are finding their traditional role and status eroded and undergoing a drop in confidence especially young, uneducated, working class men. In a third of households in Europe, the woman is now the main earner.
Many men really don’t have a clue how they are supposed to behave anymore if they want to impress the ladies especially if they are less than an eight in the looks department and do not have wads of cash to wave around. Men are generally confused. And who can blame us?
The Traditional Strengths of Women
Let’s make no mistake women have always been strong. Their capacity to withstand the pain of childbirth over the years has made them tough. Men mistake women’s softness as a weakness and in doing so fool themselves by projecting their imaginary ideal vision of a woman and failing to see her for how she really is.
Women are experts at showing their best during the dating process, so it takes a while to suss them out. It’s only in recent times that they have adopted a more demanding and muscular style. I would argue that in many instances they have shot themselves in the foot by abandoning their traditional skills of gentle persuasion, stealth, and manipulative cunning in favor of behaving like men.
Many are setting themselves up for a life of misery and hardship by driving away their partners leaving themselves to bring up children alone while often having to slave away at a low paid job. Their ex men, meanwhile, can get on a plane to Thailand free of responsibilities and have the time of their lives.
The Toxic Role of Social Media
If you are the traditional blokey kind of northern European or Yank, enjoying going out for a few pints of an evening and watching sport, you may be finding it increasingly difficult to do your own thing in the face of an assertive wife giving you orders and ultimatums. Not all women, of course but a lot more than 20 or 30 years ago.
If this is not bad enough, social media is playing an increasingly toxic role in persuading young women not to submit themselves to men anymore and that they have the right to be demanding. This is a big problem because it is tipping the scales in the opposite direction.
Most men are reasonable enough to agree that women should have equality, but many women believe they deserve more. I have heard men complaining they are expected to pay the whole bill for their date without her even offering to contribute.
It is no wonder that so many Europeans are going to Asia to live, not just to vacation. Singapore, Japan, and now China are the main destinations for employment. Thailand is a main destination for retirement and short trips because of the ease of meeting women for casual hookups, which can easily turn into a relationship.
Why Western Men Are Drawn to Asian Women
A recent study among university students in England discovered that roughly two thirds of men and women secretly hope that a one night stand will turn into something more permanent. There is no doubt, however, that whenever in Asia, Western men feel attracted to the local women.
Asian women appear to have all the feminine qualities that most Western women lack. Being feminine, submissive, soft, gentle, seductive, and charming. They listen to us respectfully and take us for who we are without judgment until they are with their friends out of earshot.
Asian women seem to behave the way most men would like all women to behave. One only has to go to a mall in the UK or the USA to witness the so called foul mouthed land whales out shopping. Compare them to the slim, dainty, attractive, and even stunning ladies of Thailand and Japan, and comparisons are out of place.
Why So Many Westerners Hook Up with the Wrong Thai Lady
One obvious reason is that there are far more wrong ones than right ones which is the case anywhere. In Thailand, it is also because they meet in bars, where in a very short space of time, a relatively decent farm girl can be completely corrupted by her colleagues into learning all the tricks of the trade in how to exploit a foreign man for maximum profit.
Some research has been done on what kind of people are most vulnerable to what can be classified here as a romance scam. The one factor identified more than any other is emotional intelligence.
Essentially, it comes down to understanding exactly how you are feeling at any given point in time and being able to exert appropriate self control to avoid acting impulsively. The key word here is impulsively. Most impulsive people do not realize they are impulsive.
Who Is Most Vulnerable?
If you have an addictive personality which is very common and usually inherited then you need to be particularly alert to this weakness. Any kind of substance addiction easily translates into other kinds of addiction.
It goes without saying that anyone who suffers from OCD should be extremely careful. Like most mental disorders, thousands of people who have it have never been formally diagnosed.
Other types of vulnerable individuals are the chronically lonely (where chronic is defined as impacting negatively on your life), and those still suffering the effects of a recent breakup.
Cultural difference is a largely ignored factor. Being aware of it is arguably equally important as speaking the language. How many educated Western men would get into a serious relationship with an unemployed, uneducated single mother in their own country unless she was exceptionally beautiful?
When meeting an Asian woman who speaks good English, it is easy to assume she is westernized and understands us. Although this is rarely the case.
Men Idolize Women
Most men have a tendency to idolize a woman and place her on a pedestal. As they say, when we are in love, we are blinded to her faults and make her into something perfect which of course nobody is. No wonder so many relationships break down when the initial infatuation wears off.
On top of that, we fail to realize that men and women do not love in the same way. Men go way over the top. Women are pragmatic, looking first at how a man may actually benefit them. Good looks and money are always welcome. Future prospects are very important. Intelligence is appreciated, along with a sense of humor. Loyalty, kindness, and devotion are way down the list no matter what people say.
I would go as far as saying that being in love is a temporary mental disorder because it causes people to behave obsessively and recklessly.
Beware: Mr. Nice Guy
The final personality type I need to mention is Mr. Nice Guy. These are guys who display what should be highly desirable qualities kindness, loyalty, and devotion. In their own country, they rarely do well with women.
This is not because of the qualities they display, but for the qualities they lack: masculine qualities of unpredictability, excitement, arousing expectations in a woman of an interesting and stimulating time together. Nice guys are usually too tame and dull and come across as weak.
In Thailand, nice guys do very well, which leads them to assume their lack of success at home was because they have been in the wrong country the whole time. Unfortunately, they are the most easily taken advantage of because their very qualities of kindness and devotion are a dream for an unscrupulous bar girl to exploit. Nice guys, beware.
How to Protect Yourself
What can we do to protect ourselves from becoming the main character of yet another Thailand Bound crash and burn story? It is more difficult than many of us realize because it can happen to anyone. Even the dude in the comments gloating over the victim who lost all his savings to a go go dancer.
When we meet a new woman who we envisage getting into a relationship with, we fool ourselves into believing she has it all. In Thailand, we delude ourselves into somehow believing our one is different from all the bad ones we have read about.
Another point worth mentioning is that most men fail to realize that we treat women we fancy differently from the way we treat others and in doing so can make ourselves look stupid to her without realizing it. This is a huge mistake. If we really desire someone decent, our chances of success will increase if we treat every woman the same.
The Truth About “Thai Man No Good”
“Thai man no good” is a popular girl mantra which foreigners lap up eagerly. Even if it contains a grain of truth, it does not mean that most Thai women prefer foreigners to their own men. One only has to look at the ethnic communities in other countries to realize that people generally bond with someone who shares the same language, culture, and social standing.
What I’m saying is that it is dangerous to believe that being a foreigner gives you a special status. It usually doesn’t. All it means to a local woman is that you probably have more money.
Online Dating: The Curse of the Modern Age
I also need to mention online dating. Many will agree this is the curse of the modern age. More and more people believe it is the only option they have. If this is true, then how did folk hook up 30 years ago before this nonsense took off?
For women, it can be dangerous. For men, it is extremely frustrating and impacts your dignity and self esteem. The most damaging aspect of all of it is the part the imagination plays.
If a guy in a go go bar can convince himself the flabby single mom in her 30s drinking with him is an exotic eastern beauty, just think what happens when all you have is a photoshopped snapshot on a screen. I wonder how many folk have recoiled in horror on a first date because the photo is nothing like the person in front of them.
Conclusion: It’s Your Fault
Finally, there are some people whose behavior cannot be predicted or rationalized in any way. These are the ones who totally and inexplicably behave out of character as if the brain blows a fuse and the affected individual loses all his inhibitions and sense of reality. He is aware of consequences but just doesn’t care.
To conclude, I would never discourage anyone from going to Thailand on account of some perceived vulnerability. You live and you learn. But you cannot fall victim to a love scam without playing a very large part in it yourself. At the end of the day, it’s your fault.
Story 3 Police Woman Who Wanted Money
Running out of time now, so I’m going to get into our third and final story of the day. This one is quite a bit shorter, but it’s another one of those cautionary tales.
“Hi Peter. Not sure if you remember me, but we met a while ago on Soi 10. I want to share a story to show that even good Thai girls sometimes have ulterior motives.”
About 18 months ago, my Thai wife of seven years was tragically taken away from me by cancer. She was only 42 and very attractive. On her deathbed, she urged me to find someone else that would love and take care of me in the same manner as she did.
Of course, at first I didn’t listen dating a few bar girls and freelancers until my real brain kicked in. My friend told me about Facebook dating, so I thought I’d give it a try.
After a few unsuccessful dates, I finally found one that I thought would be suitable. She was stunningly beautiful, 50 years old, and a police woman. I’m 61. For the sake of the story, I’ll call her Lucy.
I thought: not young tick. Not a bar girl or freelancer tick. And she had a job another tick. A police woman. What could go wrong?
The First Dates
Our first date was at a restaurant near her house, which was quite far from me. When I arrived, I saw this strikingly beautiful woman sitting at a table. It turned out to be Lucy. I couldn’t believe it she looked better than her photographs. Jackpot.
The date went great. She was beautiful, pleasant, could speak a reasonable amount of English, and looked after me like a king. At the end of the date, Lucy offered to drive me to the closest train station. She let me kiss her on the cheek and asked me to call her if I wanted another date.
We spoke over Line over the next few days and arranged another date. This time, Lucy said she would drive to Sukhumvit so that I didn’t have to travel. I took her to a nice restaurant, steering well clear of the bars and freelancers. She knew they were there, but as a police woman, didn’t want to be seen in that area especially as she was once stationed there.
As you well know, real Thai women don’t partake in aerobics until well into the relationship. It took 4 months with my late wife.
The First Request for Money
One night, Lucy rang up crying. I couldn’t understand her, but I eventually calmed her down and got what her problem was. You guessed it money.
Lucy was short of money and needed 15,000 baht to pay her daughter’s university tuition fees. At first, I said that I couldn’t help her as we had only been on a few dates and had only been dating for 8 weeks. She started crying again this time she was wailing.
She then said, “Can I borrow the money and pay you back? I will apply for a personal loan from the police bank.” What could I do? In the end, I agreed as I don’t like to see a child deprived of education just because of money.
Lucy stopped crying and life was good again.
The Second Request
We kept dating for a few more months, and all was good except she kept referring to her daughter as “our daughter.” At first it was amusing, but as time went by, I asked her to stop. “She is your daughter, not mine.”
One night we went to Chocolateville with said daughter in tow. After about 5 minutes, out of the blue, she said, “I need 30,000 baht for our daughter’s accommodation at university. Can you give it to me?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. To cut a long story short, I said no. Lucy already owed me 15,000 baht, and now she wanted another 30,000.
At this point, she broke down and cried I mean she really cried. Her daughter, who was in the back seat, was more worried about playing on her phone.
The Bombshell
I said, “What about the loan? Can’t you add 30,000 baht to it?”
The next sentence nearly floored me. Lucy replied, “The bank turned me down for my application.”
I asked, “When were you going to tell me? What about my 15,000 baht? When will I get it back?”
At this point, she cried harder. “I thought you loved me, and all you can talk about is the loan.”
I just said, “Let me out of the car. I’ll find my own way home.” She refused. She locked the doors. Only when she arrived at our destination did she open them. I wasn’t going to wait around. I left, found a taxi, and went home.
I tried calling and messaging her. All she said was, “I don’t have money and I can’t pay you back.” After a few days, she blocked me.
The Aftermath
I dodged a bullet. I was telling a friend who said she may give me problems by falsifying a police report or telling immigration to cancel my visa. Hell, I’d never thought of that. Fast forward a year, and no issues or problems have arisen.
But people just be aware. Just because they aren’t a bar girl, they still might be after money.
